1/12/13-1/13/13—Saying Yes to Destruction

Weekend Reading: Thunderbolt from the Osho Zen. Be prepared for something to suddenly hit and shake you up this weekend. This doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. It could be an idea that comes into your head and causes you to question some deeply held belief. Or it could be a person who bolts in out of the blue and wakes you from your everyday coma. Or then again, it could be something less palatable and "welcome". Regardless, whatever it is, it's necessary to your development. We all need to destroy the old to create a fresh palette for the new. This card suggests that you try to observe the chaos and let it wash over you with detachment. As the book for this card says, "say yes to the process by meeting it halfway."

1/11/13—Asking Your Heart

Today's Draw: Harmony from the Osho Zen Tarot. Have you ever put the aspects of your life to a "heart test" to see what's authentic to you? What parts of your life make you feel larger? What parts make you feel smaller?

For the last day of "overcoming false limitations" week, we get a card about listening to your heart. This card wants us to forget what we've been told about who we are and what we're capable of...to ignore all the "yes, buts" in your head...and let your heart guide you through the world. Of course, the difficulty is learning which voice is that of your heart and which isn't. 

One thing I would suggest is to get quiet and become aware of your heart center. Think of that space as a muscle that can expand and contract. When it contracts, it closes. When it expands, it opens up. So, in this quiet time, focused on that heart center, visualize different possibilities. Visualize yourself as you are today. How does that feel? How expanded or contracted is your heart? Get familiar with where there's tension inside. And consider this your "control" heart feeling. 

Next, visualize yourself doing something you love...snuggling with your puppies, hiking in the woods, etc. And feel how the tension releases. Doing this will help you feel how things feel differently when you run them past your heart. 

Now that you've got that down, start trying out different scenarios from your life. What makes the heart contract? What makes the heart expand? What feels more neutral? Take note of the things that make your heart contract. Let's say your job makes your heart feel tighter and harder. If that's the case, then we know your job isn't alignment with your heart. Now test your overall career. If that feels good, but the job feels bad, then that's as "simple" as getting a new job or changing some aspect of your current one that is holding you back. But if your career is also out of alignment, then you know you've identified a place where you haven't made a decision authentic to you. 

I remember my father wanted me to join the military because it would be a stable career. He tried to steer me in that direction many times. And he really didn't like me working in advertising. He saw it as dishonest work that paid poorly. And I suppose it can be. I suppose most careers can have a slime factor. But my experience is that most advertising people are ethical and really want to serve their mission, just like in the military. 

My father died before I really had any sort of success in my career. I can see him forever maintaining there is no value to the industry, but I can't imagine he wouldn't be proud of my self employment and all the awards I've won. And the whole tarot thing wouldn't make him happy either, but I also think he'd be proud that his daughter is a published author. But for every person out there that ignored their parent's advice because they knew what they wanted from life, there's at least one other person who didn't know what they wanted. So they made choices based on criteria other than what their heart said. 

Further, there are people who get married because it's what people do. People who have children because their spouse wants them. People who make choices based on status. People who make choices just to be defiant. And people who choose NOT to do something, because what would people say? Every nuance of our lives is subject to being shaped by outside pressure. And because we develop monetary dependencies, buy into long-term responsibilities or even just develop habits around these aspects of our lives, we sometimes feel trapped. I mean, people my age have devoted half their lives to becoming an expert at their career. They can't change now! 

Well, they can. These things are all false limitations. And if these things don't open your heart, then they're not authentic to you. At least not anymore. In the case of children, I think you need to just suck it up and be a parent, unless being a parent makes you so bitter and toxic that it's harmful to the children. But in most other cases, your heart check will point right toward someplace where you're not being true to yourself. And if you don't know what you want, you can heart test options to find something that can work for you. 

This all comes back to my favorite quote, which I heard from David Whyte, the poet—"move toward that which makes you larger." An expanding heart makes you feel larger. Moving toward a neutral heart just keeps you a blah rut. And if you keep moving toward things that make feel smaller, you've really got to stop to ask yourself why. Yet it's a choice many of us make every day in some aspect our lives. And it's a situation we should literally take to heart.

10/11/12—Facing Death

Today's Draw: Transformation from the Osho Zen Tarot. Do do you feel change works on your timetable? Do you feel you have any control over the process at all? And if not, do you tend to busy yourself in stuff you CAN control in order to feel "right"?

This week we're talking about transformation and today we drew the Transformation card. It's called Death in most tarot decks, but what they really mean by death is transformation. Many of us feel in the midst of, or on the cusp of change. Some feel like we're in a holding pattern within that change energy, unable or unwanting to move forward. 

I get two messages for us from this card. The first message is that life only *appears* to work on our schedule and at our bidding. Certainly we have input. The way I see that things work is that I have a desire to change, I make my desire known, I start working toward it and, before I know it, the desire is fulfilled and change has come. 

But that's not working on MY timetable. My timetable would be that change would be instantaneous and painless. Then there are those times when I haven't even thought of change and it just came and hit me in the face. In a way, dog #3 is like that. I had decided not to get a dog. So I fostered. And failed. It's like a surprise pregnancy or a surprise job move or illness...sometimes change comes whether you want it or not. And you have to handle it because it's HERE. NOW. 

So I like to feel like a master manifester, but the truth is sometimes there are a lot of moving parts that take time to come into place...mental attitudes have to adjust, other things that were already in play having to do with the old you need to be stopped, and entire scenarios involving other people and other situations have to come into play. 

It's a wonder anything gets done. But my sense is, if it had to be done right NOW, that would happen too and we'd have no control over it. So my guess is we're all right where we should be—and NEED to be. We have no idea of all of the stuff churning up on our behalf in the background while everything seems to be immobile on the surface. Maybe we NEED to be staring off into space with empty eyes in a state of total shock! Bet you never thought of THAT. 

The other thing about this Transformation card is the way the all-powerful is touching the face of the person while at rest. I think sometimes we busy our lives with appointments and obligations and distractions to keep ourselves busy because it's easier than facing whatever emptiness or anxiety or risk or whatever it is that's happening at a time of change. 

So this card is basically saying to still yourself long enough to hear the voice of God in your life. Maybe that means quiet meditation at night. Or journaling dreams. Or taking some sort of retreat. Especially if being on hold in the midst of change is making you feel a little lost. Answers and wisdom and safety and love is waiting for you if you can still yourself long enough to receive it. 

8/24/12—Creating Our Own Realities

Today's Draw: No-Thingness from the Osho Zen tarot. Do you know people with "bad energy"? Do you feel like another person's energy can change your mood, or wreck or improve your day? What if it turned out that the only "bad" energy out there was created entirely by you?

Nothing is misspelled or misprinted on today's card. The black represents the gap, the void...the place of pure potential. This is a scary place where there is nothing to hold on to, yet it's also the happy place where all possibilities exist. 

I know this sounds like Zen BS, but bear with me. It's a place of detachment. If we haven't attached to anything...haven't claimed or chosen or set our hearts on anything...then all possibilities exist. Anything is possible. If we don't decide "this thing is the right choice and all these other things are the wrong choices", then really what are our chances of being disappointed or knocked off guard by, say, someone else's "wrong" choice of words or their "bad" behavior? It's OUR choice to determine what is good and what is bad. And, in turn, that choice then creates our reality. 

In this way, the state of no-thingness acts as a balancing force for us. And really, it keeps our energy clear and free to flow where it's needed, not just to where we direct it. AND it keeps us free to accept and transform energy to use as we need. 

Another thought that occurred to me in relation to energy and this card is that energy itself is no-thingness...it's pure potential, prepared to manifest as whatever is needed, wherever it's needed. Since we create what is good and what is bad, what is needed and what is not, we have the choice to shape the energies that come our way. 

So that chick with "bad energy"? Her energy is pure potential until we decide how to color it and how to receive it. In the metaphysical world, people are always talking about the energy and vibes of others, but what if it's actually our OWN vibes that are the ones we have to worry about—the vibes inside of us that judge and color the vibes of others? Toxic energy is not imposed upon us. Energy is. We decide it's toxic. We are own worst enemy! 

Anyway, even I'm enlightened by these thoughts...haha. This is a Buddhist principle I hadn't really considered exactly in this way before. I try to remain open to things and I believe that's a high spiritual path. But how open to things are we if we're labeling things good and bad? I mean, it goes beyond this, but just think about how many times the "worst day of your life" turned out to be "the best thing that happened to you"? Like the day you catch your husband with another woman or the day you lose your job?

One of the things I like to say lately is "the story isn't over yet." When things happen in our lives—especially bad things—we tend to see it as the end of the story. An unhappy ending. But the story isn't over yet! You eventually either forge a stronger bond in your marriage or leave the cheating bastard. You find a new job and possibly even a new career. In between the seemingly bad moment and the seemingly good moment, we learn a lot about who we are, what we want and what we need. 

We all know the story never ends. And by coloring things good and bad in the interim, our energy is up and down and up and down again. We put ourselves on that rollercoaster. Not life or any individual. Our choices and our judgments and the way we color the energies around us determine our experiences in life. 

So anyway, a deep thought for a Friday, but a powerful one to consider. Instead of wishing you a good day today, I'll just wish you a day. You can make any kind of day you want. ;)

3/27/12—Moving Toward Mysticism

Today's Draw: Eight of Rainbows from the Osho Zen—Ordinariness. What actions bring you into union with the divine? What activities do you tend to do with reverence or ritual? Is union with the soul of God something you intentionally seek, something that happens when it happens, or something you don't think about at all?

The Osho Zen is one of my favorite decks. It's a non-traditional deck based on the teachings of Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, aka Osho, an Indian mystic. I really resonate with Eastern spirituality. My mother was born in India and, when she was two, Ghandi came through her village and blessed her. 

Although she was raised Roman Catholic, her heart wasn't there. Instead of a bible, she kept the Rubaiyat in her bedside table. It's a collection of poems by Sufi mystic Omar Khayyam. Depending on the translation, some call them devotional poems, others see them as atheistic. She died before I ever thought to ask her, but I tend to think she veered more toward spirituality and mysticism than religion. I don't think she ever made it an official journey, but I sometimes feel I inherited her path. It wasn't until after she died that I ever thought of stuff like this. 

Mystics are on a path to unite with the higher power through self surrender and contemplation and, thereby, gain greater enlightenment. It's more of a spiritual path than a religious path. I see religion as divine knowledge that is brought to you by sources outside of yourself and spirituality as divine knowledge that comes from a personal relationship with source. Mysticism is beyond a relationship...it's a direct union with source. 

This card is one of those paths to divine union. It speaks of total immersion in even the most mundane of tasks—cleaning the house, tending garden, chopping wood. When we do that, we lose ourselves and find ease and joy in the moment. We transcend mind and ego and. Just. Are. 

In those moments, I leave this earth and become part of the all. And I'm not talking about cleaning the house while kicking and screaming the whole way. I'm talking about being in the zone, losing all thought and losing time. I get that way when I'm writing. And I also get that way when I'm tending my container garden. 

Writing and container gardening (I make that distinction because, oddly, I dislike working in regular gardens) are things that automatically take me there. But then there are actions I perform with reverence that also take me away. One of those things is preparing ceremonies. I make the incense, anoint things with oil and carefully plan every step of the process. And then there are intentional paths to union with the divine, such as meditation.

This card asks us all to find the joy and beauty in the ordinary things of life. It really is a choice, you know. Just like with yesterday's card about wanting what you have, bringing reverence into ordinary tasks can make them extraordinary. Both are paths to God and if you don't believe there is a God, both are paths to happiness. Because both are about letting go...about stopping the fight. 

When we're never satisfied with what we have, we're resisting. When we hate what we're doing, we're resisting. When we accept and allow, we fall into the flow. This doesn't mean accepting or putting up with things that are unhealthy in your life. You know the things in life that you're holding on to and resisting against. They're the things that bring you pain. When letting go brings relief, that's the accepting and allowing I'm talking about. 

So consider the things that bring you pain or resistance. What can you let go of? And what in your life can you bring reverence to? What can you do today that brings you together with God?

2/1/12—Burning Through the Veil

Today's Draw: Awareness from the Osho Zen Tarot. What do you believe are the limitations of our species and our earth? Can you see where you're attached to certain beliefs and ways of being? Are you ready to open your mind to more possibilities?

This card isn't far off what we've been talking about all week. It talks about the burning away of the veil of illusion that keeps you from seeing the yet unseen. In this card, as the veil burns away, it takes with it the anxiety and trauma of man's existence, revealing the face of a young buddha. As man becomes more aware and enlightened, the more pure and and at peace he becomes. 

In the Hindu language, this veil of illusion is called "maya". It comes from a Sanskrit word that means "create". It is interesting to note that this word also signifies a member of the Mayan culture or the language that they speak. Interesting, because their whole culture is shrouded in a veil that we have yet to burn through...a veil that MAY (or may not) be partially lifted by the end of this year.

In Buddhism, awareness is heightened by detachment. As humans, we are attached to feelings, outcomes, memories, hopes and other people. Because of this attachment, we can't see clearly. Everything is painted by our perspective and by the "stake" we have in it. 

The Osho teaching that goes along with this card reads:

Mind can never be intelligent - only no-mind is intelligent. Only no-mind is original and radical. Only no-mind is revolutionary - revolution in action.

This mind gives you a sort of stupor. Burdened by the memories of the past, burdened by the projections of the future, you go on living - at the minimum. You don't live at the maximum. Your flame remains very dim.

Once you start dropping thoughts, the dust that you have collected in the past, the flame arises - clean, clear, alive, young. Your whole life becomes a flame, and a flame without any smoke. That is what awareness is.

If you're someone who gets their best ideas in the car, in the shower, upon waking or right before drifting off, then you understand the intelligence of "no mind". When driving, we often drift into a form of meditation. The repetitive, ritual action of showering can also bring us to that state. I know that I often get ideas the second I step away from the keyboard. But when we're fixated on something from the past or worrying about what we'll say in our meeting, there's really no room for original thought. 

This card embodies the peace of meditation for me. 

So "no mind", which can certainly arise from meditation, and detachment can help us burn through the veil. And while you're having no-mind and detachment, that also means you're not judging the ideas that arise from the void. You shed what you know and open to the entire spectrum of possibility. Otherwise you're still holding up a veil of preconceived notions. 

I don't want to get into a discussion of meditation, primarily because we've discussed it before and I know there are people out there who insist they can't do it. But certainly meditation is a clear path to "no mind". And you need to detach from the idea that you can't do it in order to get there. 

Another way to consider "no mind" is to become the witness, as if you're floating high above yourself and witnessing your surroundings. The meditation I suggested the other day is a good practice for developing the witness as well as for dealing with a restless mind. 

Burning through the veil is important because, as I mentioned the other day, I believe there is stuff going on out there that we don't see. And I'm not just talking about paranormal or psychic stuff either. The electromagnetic spectrum existed from the earth's beginnings, yet we didn't harness its powers—or even realize it existed—until relatively recently. Until it was harnessed, none of the technologies we rely upon today could exist. 

The chances that we've discovered everything there is to discover "out there" are pretty darned slim. And those chances will remain slim as long as we remain attached the notion of "I have to see it to believe it" or "prove it to me". Personally, I believe we have an urgent need to open our minds at this time. We're capable of so much more as individuals, as a species and as a planet. It's not about believing in the impossible. It's about suspending belief and making room for all possibilities. So consider stopping yourself at the point of doubt, "never' and "no" and part the veil just a enough to allow magic to flow in.