5/11/13-5/12/13—Looking Out for Your Sweet Spot

Weekend Reading: Clouds and Sun in the House of the Child from Lenormand Revolution and the Deck of Lenormand Houses. Expect variable weather for your playtime this weekend, whether literally or figuratively. The right conditions will exist, but will you be prepared to greet them? That's the question. So don't waste your sunny sailing weather fixing the upstairs toilet. Don't decide to take a nap when you think you could change that flat tire and THEN take a nap. And don't waste a good mood on something that's a total downer. Using your emotions, timing and energies wisely this weekend could mean you end up getting everything done in perfect conditions. But letting opportunity slip away could just leave you feeling frustrated. So look out for your sweet spots and use them to your advantage, even if it means play comes before work.

4/19/13—Thinking About Happiness

Today's Draw: The Sun in the House of Crossroads in the position of Attitudes and Thoughts from Shaheen Miro's Tattered Nomad Oracle, The Deck of Lenormand Houses and the Deck of 1000 Spreads. What does happiness mean to you? Are you more often happy than not? What wisdom do you have to share about happiness?

My initial instinct on this trio was "Something That Will Change Your Attitudes and Thoughts About Happiness." My second instinct was, "No! Three Things...NO, Five Things to Change Your Attitudes and Thoughts About Happiness." Then my third instinct was, "hmmm, the Sun is more frequently about success. Five Things to Change Your Attitudes and Thoughts About SUCCESS!" Then I decided to go with the happiness thing. 

See how crazy works?

OK. None of these things may change your idea of what happiness is. But then again, I do this in about an hour and have to go with what comes to me. 

1. Happiness Isn't All It's Cracked Up to Be. You very well may be happy right now and not even know it. It doesn't necessarily come with a balloon and streamers attached. It's not necessarily something you get in exchange for something good you've done. It's merely a feeling of remarkable wellbeing in body, mind, emotion, and/or soul. And by "remarkable", I'm not talking "rare". I'm talking, "hey, I'm remarking that I'm happy!" (Notice the exclamation point?) So it's not quite bliss (which does come with streamers...and a few extra exclamation points). But it's a nice smile that comes from within. :)

2. Happiness is Not a Destination. It's part of the journey. There's never going to come a day when you're happy. Period. We all have ups and downs. We may be happy in one area of our lives and less than happy in another. It's not a place to land and plant roots. Nor do you want it to be. Because happiness should never become mundane. If it's how you felt all the time, it wouldn't be such a gift. 

3. Happiness is a Choice. In most moments, you can choose to be happy. You can choose to see your situation as a gift. Sure, if the bad guys are chasing you with guns, it's hard to be happy. Unless you like that sort of thing. But most of us lead pretty tame lives. And we can choose to let some inconsiderate person, for example, ruin our day. Or we can choose to focus on the positives, see how good we've got it and let our bodies and minds flow with gratitude. Now, chemicals in our body can make our moods shift. But even those, we can choose to improve through exercise or pharmaceuticals or whatever. But still, we're all human, so there will be times it won't be a choice. But many times it is. And since I already said five...

3a. Gratitude is a Direct Route to Happiness. Want to be happy? Count your blessings. We are all so incredibly blessed and we don't even realize it half the time because we're looking at all the areas where life has fallen short of our expectations. Well what about the vastly larger number of areas in which it has met and exceeded...or at the very least mirrored the effort we put forth?

4. You Can't Know Another Person's Happiness. So stop looking over the fence and thinking that person is happy! C'mon...think about all the times you walk around with a smile on, even though you're less than happy. Well, newsflash. Everyone else is doing that, too. In fact, some people are significantly better at looking happy than you are. The Dalai Lama is probably the happiest person on earth (that I know of, at least) and even his moods modulate. Besides, he's waited on hand and foot, worshipped far and wide and hugely respected. He was literally born to be a leader and a holy leader. But he was a leader in exile most of his life and his people were oppressed...all this happening to a very compassionate man. You want his problems? I didn't think so. So be careful what you're wishing for. 

5. Happiness Shouldn't Necessarily Be Your Goal. Contentment should. See, the ultimate goal in life is supposed to be balance, right? Well, happiness is weighted to one side of the spectrum. It's not in the center. And the things beyond center are harder to maintain. Not only that, but in order to have balance, things that are weighted to one end eventually have to be mirrored by things weighted at the other end. But contentment is at the center. It's satisfaction. It's upturned lips and a relaxed brow, but not quite a full on smile. There may be things in your life that are less than hunky dory with contentment, but you'll take it. Because it's pretty good overall...pretty good for a Friday. It's the wellbeing without the exclamation point. And it feels really nice. And, with the right mindset, you can maintain it longer. 

So that's my list. What realizations about happiness have you made?

3/25/13—Going for the Gold Star

Today's Draw: Sun in the House of Child in the Heart of the Situation position from Ryder's Lenormand, the Deck of Lenormand Houses and the Deck of 1000 Spreads. What lesson is lighting up in your life right now? Where are you beginning to see the light? What's the spiritual gold star you want to earn?

This is funny. Ryder's Lenormand was created by an 8-year-old boy—he did it all himself, even created his own (adorable) bags to keep them in. His mom is Rana George, is a legend in the Lenormand world. But he did all the work himself, adorning bags during his spring break. Anyway, the thing that I find funny about this is that one way of reading this combo is "at the heart of the situation is a successful child." And that's Ryder. So congratulations to him for this successful endeavor!

Not having any successful children (or children period) myself, however, I can't write a whole blog post on successful children. Unless, of course, you want to hear me yap on endlessly about the progress Mystic the dog is making with her obsessive licking issues. :D 

So another way of seeing Child is as a beginning. The Sun most commonly means success, achievement or even illumination of some sort. So I'm going with "beginning to see the light at the heart of the situation."

That's relevant to me in many ways right now. You know, I believe there's a place in our spiritual journeys where we feel we've done a pretty good job. We're good people. We're aware of many things.  And we're comfortable. 

But when it comes to my spiritual development, I'm always trying to push myself to over-achieve...haha. If I can. I talk about "doing the hard things" here and I know I'm not alone in doing that because I have a solid audience. There are many people who want to earn a gold star or do extra credit on their path. Although the hard things differ for different people, some of the stuff we all tend to struggle with includes letting go and surrendering fully to the universe, non-judgment and showing grace to others, regardless. 

It's easy to do these things under optimal conditions...to trust the universe when things are going well, to not judge when people are doing normal stuff and to show grace to people who show grace to you. But the harder row to hoe is to trust the universe when life to turns to crap, to refrain from judgement when someone offends you and to show grace to even the worst of humanity's lot. That's the gold star stuff, because it's where a lot of people fall apart and slip back into habits of negative thought and action. It's so easy to do. We all indulge in it. And I believe the lure of that comfortable place never leaves. 

Some of these "gold star" things hearken to the discipline of Buddhist practice for me. I'm not a Buddhist, but when you see people like Pema Chodron, she didn't get to where she is in her spiritual development and wisdom by staying in the comfortable area. I was talking to a Pema groupie about this tonight, in fact. Pema is a Buddhist nun and teacher. And she's fabulous because  you know she's someone who's ahead of you on the path, but she still struggles to maintain her forward motion along that path sometimes. And she's not afraid to share her failings with you. Every once in a while, stuff happens to show her how much farther she still has to go. Just like it does for me and you. The trick is to use it as a springboard, rather than as cement shoes...haha. 

When it comes to spirituality, we never get "there". It's not a destination. It's a journey. We just spiral continually higher, coming to new insights and gaining new enlightenment along the way. 

The principle that's come back around to me lately is another of those "gold star" things. It's beautifully described in Don Miguel Ruiz's book, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom—Don't Take Anything Personally. 

That's got to be the hardest thing for a human being to do...haha. We KNOW intellectually that anything another person says or does is about THEM, not YOU. But we each live in worlds that revolve around us, so we naturally assume it's about us. And boy does it push buttons of insecurity and control issues and needing to be right! And that's just the tip of the iceberg. This one, for me, brings up LOTS of stuff. 

Another way I've heard it said before is, "another person's opinion of you is none of your business." It literally isn't any of your business. It reflects the way they feel about themselves...their own frustrations and their own struggles with insecurity and control issues, etc.. No matter how much they want to put it on you, so it's not something THEY have to deal with, it's still not about you. You can consider it and see what relevance it has for you...what lesson you can take from it...but it doesn't belong to you.

We all have our paths to walk in life. And when someone is looking over at your path and critiquing the way you're walking, the direction you're moving in and your failure to walk in the "right" direction, then they're not really focused on their own growth, are they? So why would you even listen? It's not. About. You. 

It's hard to keep remembering you're OK in the center of that, though. It's hard to keep focused on your path in the center of that. You get caught up in their reality...a reality that has nothing to do with your own. And then you generally get swept down into their energy and whatever it is that's going on within them. And before you know it, you're off your path. Because I haven't been good at this lesson in the past, I've allowed it to deter me and compromise my integrity to my vision. But I'm beginning to see the light. 

So if any of that rings true to you...if you think you might be looking at someone else's path, or if you think someone is trying to impose theirs on you...if someone is has a bad opinion of you, or if you have a bad opinion of someone else...if someone acts out against you, or you act out against them....just mind your own business. Let them have their tantrum and remain centered in knowing it has nothing to do with you. Because if you get caught up in the energy of it, you begin to become the very thing you dislike. (That said, this probably has come to you, in particular, for a reason. There are lessons in it, to be sure. But the lessons are yours to determine, not someone else's. It rarely ever has to do with anything they're saying about you or doing to you. That's about them.) 

This has always been a difficult thing for me because my ego wants to fight against it...to get involved...to think I must be wrong...to want everyone to like me, etc. and so on. But I'm beginning to see the light of why this is coming around to me again. None of it is any of my business and I'm not going to let it drag me down or deter me from my path as it has in the past. There are gold stars to earn. And I'm going to get one of them, dammit! :D

3/4/13—Observing Life's Magic

Venus, Jupiter and the Moon prepare to align 

with my neighbor's house on 2/26/12

Today's Draw Classic*: This is a post from a year ago that was part of a special series I did using nature as my muse. And because this was last year, Mars isn't in the sky right now. And I've edited some of it, so some of it is new. OK. Here goes...

Most nights, in the wee hours, you can find me out back on my deck, gazing up at the sky. But it's not the genius of the universe that keeps me coming back night after night. It's something much closer to home....

I'm like the US Postal Service in that weather doesn't stop me from my nightly watch. There doesn't even have to be stars. In fact, I've been known to accumulate an inch of snow on my blankets, at times. Only a hard rain can keep me away, because at that point, sitting under my soffit will no longer keep me dry.

When I'm out there looking up at the stars, you'd think I'd be contemplating the enormity and wonder of the universe. And sometimes I do. I wonder how far away a particular star is or think about how it could have died a thousand years ago, but I can still see it because it's more than a thousand light years away. It's like peering into history.

Over time, I've become marginally capable of spotting constellations and such. I can always spot Mars, because it really does have a redder cast than other "stars" (yes, I know Mars is a planet). And I like to look for Orion, not only because I can spot it easily, but also because its belt is made up of three stars called the Three Sisters. And I'm one of three sisters. Then, of course, there's the Big Dipper or Ursa Major. And I check for Polaris most nights, just to make sure it's still there. If it should happen to disappear suddenly, I want to know first hand.

But here's the thing...I wouldn't know any of that if it weren't for the help of a kick-ass app called Star Walk. So what truly amazes me as I gaze up at the sky each night is how ancient man knew all of this stuff without consulting their iPhones. Here are just a few of the mindblowing things ancient man did with his skills of observation of the night sky:

• The Mayan Calendar. The long count Mayan calendar dates back to the 5th century BC. It is more accurate than our Gregorian calendar because it measures the length of a year essentially down to the second. We add a leap day every 4 years to account for this difference, measuring a year as 365.25 days. In fact, a year is 11 minutes shorter than that which, over decades and scores and centuries, adds up. The Mayans, in 500BC knew about those 11 minutes based on precise calculations made on data observed over hundreds of years. They devoted generations of observation to the sun and night sky to create the most accurate calendar known to man—over 2500 years ago!
• The Antikytheria Mechanism. Recovered from a shipwreck in 1900 and dated back to the 1st century BC, this mechanism is known as the world's first computer. Among other things, it precisely measures the location of celestial bodies and also accounts for that extra quarter day each year—150 years before any official calendar ever did. With all our modern instruments, we still don't know how they made it or why.
• The Pyramids, Stonehenge, etc. Whether Mayan or Egyptian, the pyramids display multiple alignments that correspond to the night sky—not just within the individual pyramids themselves, but between multiple pyramids miles apart. Stonehenge was built in 3000-2000 BC and contains astrological elements, including stones that mark solstices and equinoxes. Around the world there are lesser structures that shadow light in a certain way, depending upon where the sun is, also pointing out solstices and other celestial events. It's not just the years of observation that went into the certainty behind creating these structures, but the import placed on the sun, moon and stars that drove ancient man to find ways to create megolithic structures. We still don't know how they created those structures without modern machinery. But they found a way. It was that important to them.

In addition to all that, some believe that many prehistoric cave paintings were actually drawings of constellations, rather than animals...they were using animals to represent what they saw in the night sky. We're talking 15,000 or more years ago...before farming and "civilization" itself. Certainly those who were so attuned to their environment couldn't miss certain patterns in the night sky. But if they were actually recording them? It boggles the mind! This is stuff that we're still figuring out today and ancient man, if not prehistoric man, had a bead on it way before they had instruments to measure and observe it.

We walk through our days, focused on getting to a destination or completing an errand and we never stop to just take in our environment. As a result, our pets and children (and ourselves) seem to age all of a sudden. We mean to get around to something and years later it's still left untouched. We fail to see relationships slipping away.

Let's face it, our focus on intentional observation has diminished considerably over time, unless you're a scientist or something. And with it, we've lost that sense of mystery and awe that kept ancient man on the edge of his seat when it came to things like the night sky. Now it's just something many of us take for granted. Which begs the question...what else might be going on right under your nose that you might not be noticing?

Over the next week or so, try one of the following and see what it yields:

• Watch grass grow. With spring upon us, now would be a great time to observe what's popping out of the ground and how fast it grows. Check one or two times a day and compare to surrounding plants. Who grows faster? Who dies faster? What can you learn from that?
• See the world from your front stoop. I've lived in my home for 13 years and only sat on the front stoop for the first time recently. Things look different from the front stoop. Someone in a house in my eyesight opened an upstairs window and dropped a sack of trash out of it right into a bin sitting 15 feet below. This was apparently a regular thing they did. And I never knew. I never saw certain neighbors come home from work or who jogs down the street. Never knew what the squirrels out front did at dusk or what it smelled like when neighbors cooked dinner. It's a whole different world I had never appreciated before. 
• Go sky watching. Jupiter and Saturn will be big and bright in the sky throughout March 2013. And March 12th seems to be the best time to spot the comet PANSTARRS in the western sky within an hour after sunset. 

This isn't about intuition or psychic power. It's not about hugging trees or talking to squirrels. This is about using our good, old powers of observation to see something that's been happening right in front of us all our lives, only we've just never taken the time to notice. Prehistoric man's life depended upon it. And you'd be surprised at just how important an oversight it may be in your life once you start looking.

Our ability to observe and be conscious of our surroundings is directly proportional to the amount of control we claim over our existence. You can go through life with blinders on, living in a world of chaos where things just happen to you. Or you can bring order and personal responsibility into your world by paying attention to the bits and bytes of information streaming toward you at any given time. In short, you can see stuff coming long before it smacks you in the head.

The more conscious we become of our environment, the more informed we are. It's that simple. Whether you believe in God, angels, fate, science, the Universe or nothing at all, messages and clues are streaming in toward you all the time. Some of them are wrapped in beauty and wonder, while others are wrapped in red flags. But if you have your head down plowing through your day, you're going to miss them. And you'll have nobody to blame but yourself. 

*Adapted from 3/4/12

10/12/12—Advising my Inner Oprah

Today's Draw: The Sun from the Infinite Visions tarot. What would you tell a friend about the situation you're in right now? What advice would you give him/her? What do you KNOW based on past experience?

On the final day of holding pattern and transformation week, we get the Sun. And the book for this deck says "choose carefully where you go because many will follow your shining light."

So, everyone's eyes are on you and you're an example generations will herein follow. So don't screw up. Like you know you will. :D

Well, since THAT is too much pressure, how about you ask yourself what advice you'd give a friend in the same situation as you? What would you want your daughter to do? If Oprah and Iyanla were hanging on your every word, what wisdom would you pass down?

It's funny how often we have the answers to those questions, but don't have the answers when it comes to ourselves.

For my own situation, I feel like I'm in a space between lives...in a holding pattern where I'm some of where I'm going and a lot of where I've been. In between those two places is rollercoaster motivation, fear, cluelessness....you name it. 

So let's say Oprah and Iyanla and I are sitting around my kitchen in Maine and I've just made them some of my famous fried chicken wings (I really DO make good fried chicken.) And, because we're gal friends and can let down our guards with each other, Oprah says, "Tierney I'm feeling a little lost and directionless right now. A little afraid to change. Listless. What words of wisdom do you have for me?" 

Iyanla tries to answer first, but Oprah holds up her hand and says, "no, I want to hear what Tierney has to say."

So I say, "it is what it is, Oprah. We are where we are and if we were meant to be somewhere else, we'd be there. When was the last time the universe failed you? When was the last time you were involved in something that didn't make you who you are today? When has any moment ever been without purpose in your life?"

Oprah would think about it a minute and say, "never." 

 I would reply, "so why doubt it now?" And a silent tear would issue forth from Oprah's eyes and she would nod knowingly. Meanwhile, Iyanla would be silently heard to grumble, "that's what I was going to say."

So that's the advice I would give someone. We can only do what we can do. Right now I don't have all the readiness I need. I am where I am for a reason. What about your situation? What would you tell a weepy Oprah if she asked you about the same situation you're in?

Week of 3/4/12—Observing Life's Magic

Venus, Jupiter and the Moon prepare to align 

with my neighbor's house on 2/26/12.

Most nights, in the wee hours, you can find me out back on my deck, gazing up at the sky. But it's not the genius of the universe that keeps me coming back night after night. It's something much closer to home....

I'm like the US Postal Service in that weather doesn't stop me from my nightly watch. There doesn't even have to be stars. In fact, I've been known to accumulate an inch of snow on my blankets, at times. Only a hard rain can keep me away, because at that point, sitting under my soffit will no longer keep me dry.

When I'm out there looking up at the stars, you'd think I'd be contemplating the enormity and wonder of the universe. And sometimes I do. I wonder how far away a particular star is or think about how it could have died a thousand years ago, but I can still see it because it's more than a thousand light years away. It's like peering into history.

Over time, I've become marginally capable of spotting constellations and such. I can always spot Mars, because it really does have a redder cast than other "stars" (yes, I know Mars is a planet). And I like to look for Orion, not only because I can spot it easily, but also because its belt is made up of three stars called the Three Sisters. And I'm one of three sisters. Then, of course, there's the Big Dipper or Ursa Major. And I check for Polaris most nights, just to make sure it's still there. If it should happen to disappear suddenly, I want to know first hand.

But here's the thing...I wouldn't know any of that if it weren't for the help of a kick-ass app called Star Walk. So what truly amazes me as I gaze up at the sky each night is how ancient man knew all of this stuff without consulting their iPhones. Here are just a few of the mindblowing things ancient man did with his skills of observation of the night sky:

• The Mayan Calendar. The long count Mayan calendar dates back to the 5th century BC. It is more accurate than our Gregorian calendar because it measures the length of a year essentially down to the second. We add a leap day every 4 years to account for this difference, measuring a year as 365.25 days. In fact, a year is 11 minutes shorter than that which, over decades and scores and centuries, adds up. The Mayans, in 500BC knew about those 11 minutes based on precise calculations made on data observed over hundreds of years. They devoted generations of observation to the sun and night sky to create the most accurate calendar known to man—over 2500 years ago!
• The Antikytheria Mechanism. Recovered from a shipwreck in 1900 and dated back to the 1st century BC, this mechanism is known as the world's first computer. Among other things, it precisely measures the location of celestial bodies and also accounts for that extra quarter day each year—150 years before any official calendar ever did. With all our modern instruments, we still don't know how they made it or why.
• The Pyramids, Stonehenge, etc. Whether Mayan or Egyptian, the pyramids display multiple alignments that correspond to the night sky—not just within the individual pyramids themselves, but between multiple pyramids miles apart. Stonehenge was built in 3000-2000 BC and contains astrological elements, including stones that mark solstices and equinoxes. Around the world there are lesser structures that shadow light in a certain way, depending upon where the sun is, also pointing out solstices and other celestial events. It's not just the years of observation that went into the certainty behind creating these structures, but the import placed on the sun, moon and stars that drove ancient man to find ways to create megolithic structures. We still don't know how they created those structures without modern machinery. But they found a way. It was that important to them.

In addition to all that, some believe that many prehistoric cave paintings were actually drawings of constellations, rather than animals...they were using animals to represent what they saw in the night sky. We're talking 15,000 or more years ago...before farming and "civilization" itself. Certainly those who were so attuned to their environment couldn't miss certain patterns in the night sky. But if they were actually recording them? It boggles the mind! This is stuff that we're still figuring out today and ancient man, if not prehistoric man, had a bead on it way before they had instruments to measure and observe it.

We walk through our days, focused on getting to a destination or completing an errand and we never stop to just take in our environment. As a result, our pets and children (and ourselves) seem to age all of a sudden. We mean to get around to something and years later it's still left untouched. We fail to see relationships slipping away.

Let's face it, our focus on intentional observation has diminished considerably over time, unless you're a scientist or something. And with it, we've lost that sense of mystery and awe that kept ancient man on the edge of his seat when it came to things like the night sky. Now it's just something many of us take for granted. Which begs the question...what else might be going on right under your nose that you might not be noticing?

Over the next week or so, try one of the following and see what it yields:

• Watch grass grow. With spring upon us, now would be a great time to observe what's popping out of the ground and how fast it grows. Check one or two times a day and compare to surrounding plants. Who grows faster? Who dies faster? What can you learn from that?
• Observe a relationship between you and someone else. Instead of viewing it subjectively, however, pull back and view it objectively. See how that person's body language changes around you. See if and when they avert their eyes while talking to you. Notice their tone and facial expressions. Is this person engaged with you? Are they on your side? Or do they have something to hide? Step outside of your body and emotions to see this relationship from the standpoint of a dispassionate observer.
• Go Mars spotting. If you're in the Northern Hemisphere, the dude is out there every night right now. It rises in the east before sunset and sets in the west after sunrise at this time of year. It will appear as the brightest "star" in the sky and it will have a reddish tinge to it. Check a few times a night to see how fast it moves across the sky. If you're viewing Mars on March 3, you should know that the earth is passing directly between Mars and the Sun on that date, which is why it's so spectacularly bright right now. It is also the closest to Earth as it ever gets. A special time for Mars spotting. 

This isn't about intuition or psychic power. It's not about hugging trees or talking to squirrels. This is about using our good, old powers of observation to see something that's been happening right in front of us all our lives, only we've just never taken the time to notice. Prehistoric man's life depended upon it. And you'd be surprised at just how important an oversight it may be in your life once you start looking.

Our ability to observe and be conscious of our surroundings is directly proportional to the amount of control we claim over our existence. You can go through life with blinders on, living in a world of chaos where things just happen to you. Or you can bring order and personal responsibility into your world by paying attention to the bits and bytes of information streaming toward you at any given time. In short, you can see stuff coming long before it smacks you in the head.

The more conscious we become of our environment, the more informed we are. It's that simple. Whether you believe in God, angels, fate, science, the Universe or nothing at all, messages and clues are streaming in toward you all the time. Some of them are wrapped in beauty and wonder, while others are wrapped in red flags. But if you have your head down plowing through your day, you're going to miss them. And you'll have nobody to blame but yourself.