4/8/2013—Letting Your Goal Control Itself

Today's Draw: The Emperor from the Tarot of the Sidhe in the What's Working Against Your Goal position from Deck of 1000 Spreads. Do you have control issues? Is there a certain way you want things done and no other way can compare? Is there only one outcome to your goal that will satisfy?

When I first starting doing this blog, my hope/goal was that I would write forever without repeating myself. Inevitably after 700+ blogs, though, I do. I really don't like to do it, though. And I'm on the verge of doing it again. And, in a way, that's what today's card combo is all about. 

Crowning Influences are major, kind of obvious influences on something, like a goal, as we have in today's reading. And the Crossing card is something that gets in the way of those influences on our goal...something that works against all the work we do, in a way of speaking. 

So the Emperor is what's working against the work we do. The Emperor is very yang. On the plus side, he's a leader and strategist. On the negative side, he can be very controlling. 

So by trying to control how repetitive this blog is or is not, I'm working against myself. It's like I assume all of you are like my sister, reading all 700 blogs in order (it's actually more than that, because I did this for six months on Facebook before I started my official blog), and committing each to memory (which I doubt she does...haha). It's as if I think everyone only needs to hear something once—and in one way—to get the message. 

Thinking too hard and trying to control what comes up is working against me....and has been for the past six months or so as I've felt I've started touching on some of the same "fine points" more than once. 

Sometimes we can be our own worst nemesis. 

Because also in that six months, I've come up with a couple of thoughts that I could really do something with if I wanted to write a book or ebook or something. So if I packed it in, I wouldn't have had those insights. Also, it's ludicrous to think any other than a small handful of people read every day or have been following me for all three years. So it's best to just let go and trust the right message is hitting the blogosphere at the right time, regardless if it's something I've talked about before. 

So here's the message FOR YOU—let go. Let chaos have its equal time. Embrace the random. Last week in the Lucky Like a Fox post, I talked about detachment, which is letting go of outcomes. Certainly when you have a goal, you have an outcome in mind. But resist the urge to have every little detail spelled out. Leave room for miracles. 

One thing I know for sure...god and the universe have a much bigger imagination and creative capability than you or I. Make room for them to meet you halfway and serve you something you could have never imagined on your own. Whether you have irrational control issues (like me) or are married to a certain specific outcome, loosen up and let the wind guide you to your goal. 

7/13/12—Caring For and Nurturing Love

Today's Draw: The Emperor from the Pen Tarot. Have you ever taken responsibility for anything from birth to death? Do you realize you are the architect of your own emotions? And do you know love never needs to be returned to be felt?

Rounding out "How to Feel More Love" week is the Emperor, the visionary, the builder, the divine masculine. The poem included with this card is from David Everett:

Large streams from little fountains flow,

Tall oaks from little acorns grow.

The Emperor has the gift of seeing the stream in the fountain and the oak in the acorn. From there, he creates what he sees. So if, even after all the stuff we've talked about this week, you still want to feel more love in your life, envision it and create it. 

Look, a lot of what helps or hinders our experience of love is in the brain anyway. As I've said a few times, the love you want to feel is probably already there anyway. You're just not acknowledging it. Once you find even a hint of love, placing attention on it can bring it from acorn to oak. But if you still don't feel enough love, then envision what you need and take the necessary steps to bring it into your life. 

I keep talking about giving love this week, too. And the reason I keep saying that is that you can't give love without feeling love. You can feel just as much love by giving it as you can by receiving it. Love is felt by both parties in both directions. So the fastest way to feel the kind of love you want you in your life is to give it. It's an experience you're completely self-sufficient in. The love you give doesn't have to be received or acknowledged for it to be felt by you. 

Beyond that, the Emperor is the masculine side of nurturing. So if you want to feel more love, why not take care of something? Provide for it. It could be an orchid, a '57 Chevy or a hermit crab. Be its caretaker and provider and give your care and provision with love. Again, nothing has to love you back in order for you to feel love. Sure, it's nice. But you can feel love by nurturing inanimate objects, too. You feel it in the giving of yourself. 

If you haven't ever cared for a living thing throughout its lifecycle, now may be a time to experience that. I know a few people who have never had children or owned pets or even so much as tended a plant. But I believe the ultimate expression of love comes from being there for something throughout its life. One way to break into this is to raise tomatoes. You can raise them from seed, eat them when they're ripe and cut them down when they're dead, then rework the soil for new cycle of life. Tending to them by staking them and making sure they have enough water is something you can do with love.

This tough girl taught me unconditional love.

Another way is by committing to a pet. I met my first dog, Passion, when she was three months old. I raised her. Nursed her through major hip surgery. Helped her adjust to adding a second dog to the house. Protected her from harm. And was her constant companion throughout her life. In exchange, she taught me the lesson of unconditional love.

Anyway, when Passion was 10, she collapsed suddenly and I rushed her to the vet. She really hadn't shown any signs of anything, other than aging. She was a 100lb dog, so 10 was old. The vet told me she had cancer and might not live through the night. She sent us home for one last night together. We spent it in each other's arms. Neither of us really slept. We just talked about old times and the Rainbow Bridge and we nuzzled each other. Then the next day I held her as she died from the drugs the vet gave her to put her to sleep. 

It was the saddest, most beautiful moment of my life. There is no privilege greater than to keep your promise to a creature to take care of them every day of their life...to be their forever mommy. There has been no love greater in my life than what is shown by the trust my dogs have put in me to do that for them...to make the major decisions in their lives and be the one that carries on so they never have to worry about anything. The love given and received and felt in that exchange is extraordinary, as is the love of watching your own seed grow and mature and become independent, as parents do, I'm sure. I can't imagine what that is like, having never experienced it.

So that's the lesson the Emperor brings. Create something and take full responsibility for it, during good times and bad. Not only that, however, but recognize it as the act of love it is...feel the love you give, and feel how just the feeling of love gives back beyond your wildest imagining.

5/31/12—Complaining, Whether You Like It Or Not

Today's Draw: The Emperor from the Ferret Tarot. Are you tired of hearing everyone else complain while you've got plenty to complain about? Are you miffed that everyone else thinks they've got it so bad? How come some people get to complain and others don't?

So I mentioned yesterday that I received TWO decks yesterday, each in a beautiful homemade bag. This is the second. The Ferret Tarot. This is a simply drawn, simply produced deck—don't go looking for no glossy stock or rounded corners or fancy colors like blue and red. But if you want to go out looking for some whimsy and squee, you won't be disappointed. 

Take, for example, our Emperor. It seems the little ones have been traumatized and they've come to daddy for protection. Daddy has his hands full. 

OK. This is not going to make me popular, but it reminds me of being a single person. Yeah, I know. Married people have it bad. Married with kids people have it worse. The single parent is the most put upon creature in the world. We know. We know. It's all over the news. It's depicted 24/7 on Lifetime. It's the topic of nearly every situation comedy and drama out there. While all the depictions of single people have them spending money on fancy shoes, eating out every day of the week and clubbing on weekends. Which start on Thursdays and end on Tuesdays. I know. We've got it so good. 

Ferrets laugh in the face of temperance.

But I'm here to tell you it's not the glitz and glam you think it is. I live in a house with a yard just like you. But I'm the sole breadwinner. The sole lawn mower. The sole gardener. The sole housekeeper, cook, shopper, car inspector, blah da blee, blah da blah. Ain't nobody helping me. And while some things are multiplied in your home, like the laundry, your yard, your house and your garden are the same size as mine. We make the same number of trips to the grocery store, post office, drug store, etc. 

On top of all of that, I run my own business where I'm the sole work getter and work doer. In a tight economy. So while you're *feeling* like all the responsibility and worry in your household falls on your shoulders, consider there are those out there whose shoulders ALL the responsibility and worry *actually* falls on. For real. Every day. With no end in sight.

Da Vinci left off the tail in earlier versions.

I hear you complain about your do-nothing spouse, but he's taking out the trash, isn't he? He's bringing in a paycheck. Guess who does that stuff at my house? And while you're talking about how messy your kids are, I know you're also putting them to work as indentured servants just like my parents did. They're out there clearing the grass out of the cracks in the driveway. Guess who does that for me? And while you're talking about your bad day with your husband, I'm watching yet another Lifetime movie and pretending to cry about a single mother who fell in love with a man she didn't know was an ex-con until he kidnapped her and her kids by knife point, when I'm really crying about myself. While eating a bowl of ice cream.

Yeah, yeah. It's my choice. I get that. But nobody forced you to have kids and get married. You made the choice, too. Therefore you're no more entitled to complain about your choices than me. Truth is, we all have it hard. You try navigating the myriad responsibilities, requirements and decisions of life without someone else there to help shoulder the burden.

Minors are fully illustrated. And hydrated.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for pity. Hell, I love my life. I wouldn't have it any other way. I have two dogs who shower me with love and attention. I get to eat whatever I want for dinner. I don't answer to anyone. My house is always peaceful and quiet. And if I don't feel like cleaning something up, it can just sit there until I do. I've never wanted the kids and husband anyway, so it's not like I'm jealous or anything. 

Likewise, I'm sure you love your life and also wouldn't have it any other way. But sometimes my life really sucks. Just like your life does. The only difference is you get to say it and if a single person does more than think it, society rolls its eyes. 

So there. I put it out there. It's about time all the non-singles heard it! Now excuse me. I have something important to do.  

*clicking on my TV remote that I have complete control over and perusing the many options on all the Lifetime channels tonight*