8/8/12—Revisiting the Last Turn of the Wheel

Today's Draw: The Wheel from the Celtic Book of the Dead. If you're in a difficult or frustrating situation right now, think back. Have you been in a similar situation before? What did you do then to move beyond? What wisdom from the past can you bring to bear on the present? 

Last week we talked a lot about being in transitions in our lives where we just can't see the forest for the trees...we know we're moving toward something, but we don't know what. Either that, or we're in a holding pattern in which we know where we want to go but, for one reason or another, aren't moving. 

A lot of people seemed to resonate with a need or desire to refocus, reinvigorate or re-something at this time. So one of my readers, prolific deck creator and all around nice gal Beth Seilonen, suggested that's what we address this week. So this week's draws will center around that topic, either advice or wisdom to move us forward...or a message to abide us while we're here. 

Today's draw of The Wheel is, I think, both advice and comfort. The comforting part of The Wheel is that it speaks to cycles, gestation and impermanence. This will pass. In its own time. And before you know it, you'll be so caught up in the next phase that you'll be begging for another holding pattern. Also, those times when we don't seem to be moving forward are sometimes the moments we're working the hardest. 

That's the gestation part. Think about a pregnant woman. She might not even begin to show significantly for six months, but all that time cells have been splitting, hearts and limbs have been forming...a lot of work has been going on that's barely visible. But it's a LOT of work. So while we may be in a phase of apparent stasis, we may nonetheless feel exhausted from all the work that's going on outside of our immediate consciousness.

The advice piece, though, is a nuance of The Wheel that I don't know I've ever considered in this way before—what have you learned in the past that can help this moment? Where have you seen this situation in the past? After all, the wheel has a tendency to spin lessons and   experiences around to us again and again to bring deeper understanding at each new turn. 

A lot of times we'll look at the recent events that led us to where we are...the relationship that failed, the job change we just made, the frustrations that led to our desire to change. That's not the past I'm talking about coming back around to. All of that happened on this turn of the wheel. The past I'm talking about the relationship BEFORE this that failed...the LAST life change we made. The last turn of the wheel. We have to move beyond the clutter of this current situation to see beyond it. 

One thing that keeps coming up for me...and may be a card that comes up later this week...is surrender. Things don't usually move or progress while I'm all tense about them, pushing against them, trying to steer them, control them or otherwise supervise them. But when I just "let go and let God", things seem to fall into place. Beautifully.

Surrender works for me. But what wisdom from your past could be applied to your current situation? What do you know about yourself that helps here? And what are you willing to share to help others learn from you? ;)

6/14/12—Letting Yourself Just Be

Today's Draw: The Wheel from the Gaian Tarot by Joanna Powell Colbert. How many times today would you say you were fully engaged in the moment? How much of your day is spent in a fog of to-do lists, distractions and thought? Are you ready for a challenge?

Today was an unusually spectacular day for summer in Washington, DC. High of 80. Breezy. No humidity. The same weather will take us out the week. Usually by this time of year, I'm just about to pack it in and not exit the house for the summer. But our unusually warm spring has given way to a pleasant summer so far. So how I could choose any other deck than the one named after Gaia herself today?

The Wheel comes to remind us that everything has a season. Everything is part of a cycle. The weather I'm enjoying? It will change. The feelings you're feeling today? They will change. The people and relationships around you? They will change, too. In fact your only chance at having all the same variables in place just as they are now is in this present moment. 

This morning I went to my favorite park to sit after I visited the farmer's market. As I was sitting there enjoying the view, a lady came to the table next to me, opened up her phone and proceeded to have a 15 minute conversation about nothing of consequence. I eventually moved to another table where I couldn't hear her. By that time, however, her conversation was ending and she sat down with her back to the river...so that she was facing the parking lot...and read a book. Haha. 

Really, it's not my place to judge her visit to the park and it's none of my business what her purpose there was. But as long as she wasn't even going to LOOK at the park, I wonder why she even left home. See, I struggle with people who go to the park just to talk on the phone. There's another park I go to where, in the center of the park, you can't hear anything but nature. That's so rare in this highly populated area. No traffic sounds. No sirens. Just the occasional airplane. Otherwise, it's profoundly silent. And I will hike deep into that park on an isolated trail and, invariably, someone will walk by on their phone complaining about the cell coverage....haha. 

The view from my "office" around noon today.

The ironic thing about the woman this morning is that one of the things I heard her say to the person she was talking to was about how she needed to take better care of herself. And there she was in an incredibly healing environment...talking on the phone! Then putting her back to the river so all she saw was the traffic on the parkway! Again, her reasons for going to the park and her way of enjoying herself don't have to be mine. So it's none of my business. Which is why I struggle with this. It's a control issue on my part to a certain degree. And it's also a frustration because it just so happens I don't go to the park to her her phone conversations.

But one of the things The Wheel comes to tell us is about being in the moment. And you can be in the moment on the phone. Or reading a book. Or sitting in silence in front of the river. You can be in the moment during all those activities. But often, we're not. We're thinking about yesterday and tomorrow and what to say to so-and-so... and what people shouldn't do and where they shouldn't do it....haha. 

The thing is, the only chance either she or I had at that specific time of magic when the sun was glinting off the water just so, the fish were jumping for insects, the breeze was blowing cool, the vista was crystal clear, the coffee was warm in my hand and the clouds were still shifting from yesterday's gray to today's white and fluffy, was in that one moment. I got to be there to experience that moment...and then I got to be there to be distracted by her phone call and my cell-phone-at-the-park issues....and then I got to experience the peace and healing of the river again. I don't know what Chatty Cathy experienced, but from her restless distraction, I doubt she was in the same moment I was. 

Each day we're faced with countless moments and opportunities to just be happy in what is. Again, just today I got home from the park, gave each dog the bite of scone I'd saved them from the farmer's market, then sat down and checked my emails. I probably didn't look up for 15 minutes and my dogs were just staring at me in a way that said "OK, we got the scone, but we didn't get you." So I put my laptop down and loved them. But I missed the moment they REALLY wanted to love me. I do that all the time.

A secret path leading to places quiet and beautiful.

I would think it would take great discipline...or great surrender....to live in the moment all the time. So I'm not suggesting that. But I know all of us can live in the moment more. Honestly, there are entire days in each of our lives where our head is everywhere but here, in this moment, right? Yet, if we subscribe to Buddhist thought, and I do, then that's the only place we can find true bliss. So then the question becomes "why do I choose to place bliss aside in favor of the neurotic ramblings of my mind?" 

I've spoken a lot about forming a daily practice of meditation. I've had one for close to 30 years now. Its intent is usually to put me in the now. But being in the now doesn't need a special place or a special time or a special ritual. All it needs is for us to start forming a habit of stopping the madness in our head and observing where we are, how our body feels, what we smell, what we see, etc....getting into the moment and noticing all the stuff we don't when we life moves by at a million miles per hour. For most of us, none of the crap we worry about all the time is relevant and/or imminent in THIS second. 

In this very second I'm writing a blog, yes. But I'm also stopping frequently to feel the breeze on my cheek, smell the flowers so sweet at this liminal time of day and take a peek at my dogs who are 10 feet away watching me because that's their favorite thing to do. And there's this one tree that's across the street from the house behind me. Right at this moment, it's catching the full dose of a slowly setting sun while all the other trees behind and around it are already in shadow. It's just a freak of light and shade that exists only in this moment. In the time it took me to write about it, half the tree is now swallowed in the shade. Soon the whole tree will blend with the ones behind it and it will be as if it never was. 

As I see the first of the lightning bugs blink on this GORGEOUS evening, I challenge you—how many times can you stop and Just. Be. Here. In the next 24 hours? You don't have to go outside. Heck, you could be watching TV. But how many times can you remember to stop and be fully engaged in the moment? And if you did that, how might it change the way you perceive your life? How might it, over time, change your physical health? How might it prove to be just the answer you've been looking for in your life?

The view Chatty Cathy dissed today. She's the white dot at the far right...nearly out of view/earshot. Where she belongs. :D

1/12/12—Believing In Fate

Today's Draw: The Wheel from the Blue Dog Rose Tarot by Nakisha. Do you believe in fate? Free will? Meaningless coincidence? Are there any aspects of your life you think you've been on a collision course with since you were born?

What is called "The Wheel" in this deck is usually known as The Wheel of Fortune. And it traditionally speaks to how a person's "luck" is a constantly revolving thing...always on the upswing or downswing. Most readers I know read the card as a change for the better. 

But The Wheel is also about destiny and Nakisha uses that as her meaning...a turning point with larger forces at work.

Destiny, fate, kismet—whatever you choose to call it—is one of those spiritual principles that many people believe in "to a degree". Certainly there are people who think everything is fated, and people who think nothing is fated. But many people reserve the right to land somewhere in between the two extremes.

Animal-themed suits include birds, dogs, cats and rodents.

Whether guided by the hand of God or the yearnings of the soul, I believe we all come here for a reason and that reason includes learning certain lessons. In a way, I think we make an agreement of sorts, such as "I will live X, Y and Z experience in order to learn A, B and C." Whatever our soul's lesson is, is predetermined—predetermined before we're even conceived. But the details of how we get to that lesson are not. 

I also think certain parts of our lives are fated. There was no way I wasn't going to be a writer in this lifetime. I knew before I could write or read that I was going to be a writer. Why or how a four-year-old child would not only think they'd be a writer, but be kind of resigned to it in a "oh well" kind of way is beyond me. But I knew. However, I assumed I'd be a novelist and, never say never, but I don't think that's going to happen. 

So I feel I was destined to somehow make an impression with my words, but it was my choice as to how that would come about. I also think we have soul mates that we're destined to meet...members of a soul group that travel through many lifetimes together. Beyond that, I believe other things are destined, but I don't know what or how. I think a decision I make today that seems fairly mundane could turn out to be something that was destined to change my life. I don't think we always know when we're playing into fortune's hand.

My sweet boy, Kizzie, came to me in an act of kismet.

I'm also someone who does not believe in coincidence. I believe the things that occur in our lives happen for a reason and there's some message or guidance in it for us. In short, I think our lives are far more magical than we ever give credit for. And while I believe we have a great deal of free will, I also believe the personality/spirit our soul inhabits is sort of ready-made to make the kinds of decisions that will lead to our fated conclusions. 

So where do you stand on all of this? Is there something you feel has been completely unavoidable in your life? Can you think of a situation where you've chosen repeatedly to avoid something, only to have it pop back up time and time again? What message do you think is in that for you?