Sunday, February 5, 2017

2/6/17—Trusting Again

So stuff's been pretty chaotic lately, am I right? 

I've spoken before about how I've lost my center amidst the batshit craziness that surrounds us. So I stepped back from the non-stop misery and set about relocating my groove. And what I found is that before I was able to lose my center, I first had to lose my trust. 

I'm not talking about my trust in my country. I still have that to a large degree. I'm not talking about my trust in our president, because you can't lose something you never had. What I'm talking about is my trust in the universe.

The thing about trust is, you either have it or don't. Sure, you can "kinda trust" but then you're not really trusting—you're still holding on to doubt. You're still not willing to surrender. And wherever trust is missing, fear flows in to fill the gap. Clearly many people in this country stopped trusting years ago. Or never trusted in the first place. 

I'm not really trusting everything will work out great. Sometimes "great" is not in our best interests. There's really no room to grow. What I'm trusting is that things will work out the way they NEED to. I'm trusting there's a reason for all this. I'm trusting in the inherent goodness and love of the universe's prevailing energies. More than that, even, though, I'm trusting that each of us is far bigger and far more eternal than this moment. 

Remember that? Remember surrender? Divine communion? Remember how we're not just safe in the universe, rather we live in a safe universe? Remember faith? I had let fear fill too many places within me that once remembered all that. 

There's a point of fear that makes us think that we have to stay with the fear in order to effectively combat it. We tell ourselves the fear (or anger, if that's what you prefer to call it) fuels our warrior spirit. But I contend we are never more powerful than when we trust in our higher power. I certainly know I'm happier and a clearer "channel" for the universe when I surrender to it. 

There come times in our journey when we have to ask ourselves, "do I really believe what I believe?" And if you believe in grace, love, a higher power and an eternal soul, then you have to put your trust in that. If you don't, you either don't believe or are having a crisis in your belief. I can't see it any other way. If you really believe, you cast out the fear that stands between you and surrender. 

Mind that I didn't say to cast out the awareness of what's going on around you. You can be aware, but emotionally detached. You can choose to remind yourself of your trust when you feel fear coming on. You can remove yourself from sources of fear until you're in a better frame of mind. You can still act when action is called for. You can still disapprove. But if you remember who you really are as a spiritual being, you'll know not to take the darkness on.

The unknown is always going to intimidating. And we are definitely in unknown waters. But that doesn't mean we have to give ourselves over to the chaos. It doesn't mean we have to trade our trust for hypervigilant worry. So I've been limiting my exposure to online fear. I'm getting news from sources that don't barter in fear and clickbait headlines, like the Washington Post. I'm meditating twice a day to (and beyond) the point that I feel the trust and peace within. I'm recognizing when I'm getting sucked back in. And I'm stepping out of my extreme dislike of what I see going on around me to see the positive things as well, rather than taking everything as an affront to all that is good and holy. 

Freedom, happiness, peace-of-mind and personal power are not concepts your government or society bestow upon you. They are not things that can only exist under certain circumstances. They are divine rights that are regulated from within. Sure. There are times they are harder to come by than others. Things can certainly happen to make trust more difficult or fear more pervasive. But we're nowhere near that. We're not being tortured or starved or some unbearable thing. 

If we want to be SPIRITUAL warriors, then we need to maintain close contact and trust with the divine. Because the further we veer from the light, the more power we give the dark. And the more we trust in the power of our belief, the more invincible we are.

Image above by Ma Deva Padma for the Osho Zen Tarot.