Friday, August 2, 2013

8/3/13-8/4/13—Following Through

Weekend Reading: Ring + Anchor from A Child's Lenormand by Anna Guthrie, age 10. Whatever you commit to this weekend, be sure to keep your commitment. The Ring represents a promise or offer you've made and the Anchor is about stability and perseverance. So keep to it, not just for the sake of your word, but also because Anna's Lenormand says to. Her follow-through resulted in this fabulous deck and a nice chunk of pocket change. There's no telling what your follow-through will net.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

8/2/13—Remembering Gratitude

Today's Draw Classic*: Nine of Swords from the Art Postcard Tarot by Marcia McCord. Has some thought gotten hold of you to the point that it's haunting you? Do you feel vulnerable right now? Have you used the resources at your command to return yourself to center?

Although this card can be about disillusionment and denial, I more frequently connect it to those thoughts that keep you up at night. Maybe they're worries. Or some obsessive drama that plays over in your mind. Or maybe you're telling someone off in your mind. 

I've been doing this a lot lately. And when I get like this, it's a good signal that I'm feeling vulnerable. Things that would normally bounce right off me, penetrate instead. I don't always realize it right off, but it's also a signal that I've left something open energetically, so negative thinking that was looking for a way in, found its way in. 

There was a time in my life that I would stay up obsessing over stuff every night. Stuff like "did I remember to lock the door when I left the office?" "Why did I say XYZ to So-And-So?" And spontaneously remembering things that I should probably write down, but would have to turn the light on in order to do so. 

Right now it's about a job I'm working on with clients I can't seem to do anything right for*. And it has brought me right back to times when I was younger that I was afraid of getting in trouble...or got in trouble for something I didn't do. It's a fear-based, diminishing mindset that I'm no longer used to living in. And I feel like the last couple months of stress, overloaded calendars and decisions I've made for my future have sort of weakened my emotional immune system. I'm not in my comfort zone, so I'm feeling all discombobulated. And I hate that I'm doing this to myself, because I've had some really good "wins" in the last couple of months, too, and have chosen to focus on the ooky stuff instead.

Yesterday* we talked about how hope is always available to us, and my Facebook friend, P.C.,  commented that gratitude was the path to hope. That's so true, isn't it? Gratitude is a sure path back to hope, grace, faith and all the beacons of light within our higher selves. As much as some of us practice this stuff, sometimes we nonetheless have to be reminded. In the past week, I've gotten two such reminders. One was to protect myself energetically...something I'm usually cognizant of. (And by this, I just mean to imagine the protective white light of God surrounding you.) And earlier today, gratitude. 

So if any of you are out there and feeling a little off your game...or worried...or obsessive about something that happened in your life, remember those two techniques to guide you back to your faith and strength. Feelings need to be felt. There is nothing wrong with being sad or whatever. But when you feel it so much you it starts seeming like you're captive in its clutches, it's time to find a way back to center. And one good place to start is gratitude.

*From a post originally written on 1/13/12

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

8/1/13—Snapping Out of It

Today's Draw: Queen of Wands from the Art of Life Tarot. Who should the world revolve around? Yourself? Your family? Mankind in general?

The quote on today's card reads, "The greatest good you can do for another is not just share your riches, but to reveal to him his own." It's from Benjamin Disraeli.

At some point or another I think we all slip into the notion that the world revolves around us. It's a pretty natural state. I mean, babies don't censor themselves in any way for the sake of others. They cry when they have need. Loudly. They poop without even trying to hold it in until they get to a toilet. And they fart without any regards as to the proximity of others. Moreover, crying, pooping or whatever, their every utterance is met by someone running in and making everything right again. This goes on throughout all of our most impressionable developmental years.

So it's really no surprise that we all tend to think the world is all about us from time to time. Today's card seems to be reminding us not to hang out there too long.

Often you hear people talk about how so-and-so thinks the world revolves around him, and it's said like it's the worst kind of person you can be. But it's what we're programmed to be. Somewhere in childhood (hopefully) something happens to show us that the world revolving around us is not an absolute. And our bubble is burst. We learn how to live in a world that revolves around everyone. At some point we may have a family and live in a world that revolves around someone or everyone else. But I think there's no one right place to be. We need to live in a multi-revolvable world. It can't always be about us, nor can it always be for mankind and others. The thing is, all those places can swallow you up and make you forget to mingle with the other places.

According to society, another state as abhorrent as thinking the world revolves around you is being "selfish". Someone I know responds to accusations of selfishness by saying, "oh, so I suppose you'd rather I be you-ish?" That about sums up my feeling, too. There is nothing wrong with being selfish. Nor is there anything wrong with being selfless. If anything is wrong, it's not balancing the two some way in your life.

So that's that. No matter what world or state you're currently lost in, snap out of it.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

7/31/13—Being Bigger Than That

Today's Draw: Chirping Crickets at Night from My Backyard Deck. ;) How big are the things you allow to occupy your mind on a daily basis? Are they big enough to be recorded for eternity on your soul? Are they bigger than you?

Back in early 2012, I did a series of posts that were inspired by nature, rather than tarot or other oracles.  I used to have a practice of going to a special spot twice a week at sunrise and just listening to nature. Each time I visited, I would get a message. And, now and again, I would have a mystical experience involving visions of others who might have visited the same historic spot. So I have, I think, three journals full of these messages. I meant to write a book, but have been distracted. :D

This favorite spot was on the Potomac River near Mount Vernon. And, long before George Washington owned the land I sat upon, it was stewarded by Native Americans. In fact, the river was named after the Patowmack (Patawomeke) Indians who lived along it. I'm certain their spirits still inhabit the area and one day maybe I'll have reason to tell you a story about some "Indian spirits" that came to me as a girl when we lived in a house high on a hill overlooking the river. It seems to me, looking back, that with all the flooding that goes on, the Indians probably would have made camp on the higher elevations, possibly right where we lived.

But this is about the crickets. And last night.

As I said two days ago, I had quite a stressful and humbling and annoying and insecure and crazy-making week last week. And over the weekend, I feel like I integrated a lot of what I had learned and experienced. So last night I sat on my little storage bench on my back deck to meditate, as I do many nights. And as I was going into that state, I had the lingerings of last week and the insecurities it dredged up on my mind. So just as my head was going blank, I heard a very clear voice say, "you're so much bigger than that".

This wasn't about being superior or "too wise" or "too good" to concern myself with the people and situations at the center of my stress. Rather it was about how the essence of soul...was bigger than the things that occupy my human mind here on this earth.

The thought was profound to me. I mean, obviously I know I'm a soul in a human body and all of that. And I've even got messages about how pedestrian some of our issues are from the vantage point of the soul. But this was the first time I'd considered it in THIS way....that I truly am bigger than the concerns I focus on day in and day out. I have dominion over them. So why let them have dominion over me?

So as I sat listening to the crickets, it occurred to me that some things are truly important here. Some of the lessons we learn and people we connect with. But the lingerings of our angst, the pettiness of things we turn over and over in our minds, the confrontations and the soup of insignificance we steep in...we're bigger than that. 

Some of it is attendant with the lessons we learn. My stresses of the past week ushered in an important lesson for me. But most of the angst and thought around it is stuff that matters not to the soul. The soul will carry the lessons you've learned throughout eternity. But all the other baggage that goes with it? The soul is bigger than that. Which means YOU are/can be/should be bigger than that. 

My friend K will read this and remember when I told her to measure her anger and worries and angst on the scale of "will this matter in my life five years from now?". You can brush off a lot of annoyances and set aside a lot of mundane worries using that scale to eyeball the importance of things and whether or not they're worth wasting your time over. 

But now here's another yardstick—is this thing that's occupying your mind...this thing you're not letting go it bigger than you? Is it, in the form you're thinking of it now, something to carry through the ages? Or are you bigger than it? Have you taken the lesson that's relevant to your soul and moved forward knowing that no amount of whining and marinating is going to add to what you've already learned? 

It's amazing how easily you can let go of something, snap back into perspective and rise above when you remember how big you truly are. 

Monday, July 29, 2013

7/30/13—Creating an Adventure

Today's Draw Classic*: 34—Fish from the Dust Bunny Lenormand by Marcia McCord. When was the last time you had a little adventure? How long has it been since you've done something just to make yourself laugh? Is it about time for you to step into a silly story of your own making?

In a moment of fevered excitement, I went out to my mailbox today to discover not one, but two wonderful decks of cards that I had all but forgotten I'd ordered. As I peeled open each carefully sealed and taped bubble envelope, I found that each deck came in a wonderful handmade pouch. I wanted to use both of them today, but I could not. So I chose the one that came in the orange and pink pouch. Now I know why the deck's creator asked me for my favorite color!

A Lenormand deck is an oracle deck with 36 cards. It is named after an 18th century psychic, Mlle. Lenormand, who created her own divination system. There are certainly scores, if not hundreds, of reinterpretations of her original deck, none varying significantly from her design. Artistic style and details might be different, but all #1s will depict a rider on horseback, signifying news or a visitor. All #18s will depict a dog and signify faith or loyalty. And so on. I don't really know a lot about these decks, but I know they're hot right now. So Marcia's Deck comes out at the right time.

So, anyway I didn't like the card I chose for tonight from the deck. So in a rare break in protocol, I decided to choose the card that amused me the most. And it's definitely these two smartly dressed fish. These dapper companions are all dressed up for an adventure. And that's what the card means...adventure, independence, luxury and good fortune. 

I've gone through phases in my life where I can turn anything into an adventure. Certainly I've managed to turn my boring-ass life into two year's worth of stories on this blog...haha. But adventures...adventures are beyond stories! They require transforming the most mundane actions—brushing your teeth, for example—into an epic experience that draws upon the whole range of human emotion and leaves you and everything within your sphere forever changed.

Yeah, OK. An adventure's a lot like a story. Or like injecting a little extra drama into something boring and rather ordinary. And I consider it one of my finest hobbies. :D

So without knowing what these two fish meant, I consciously chose them from the deck because they embody that very spirit. I mean, this is no ordinary picture of two fish out for a walk on a sunny day. Any fish can do that! These guys are doing it wearing hats! To keep their scalps from being burned! One of them dons his finest vest, accompanied by a cane and fanny pack. Clearly these two have many miles to cover and will need cash along the way. He might even have a tissue or a breath mint in there. One must always be prepared.

I imagine they're going out for an afternoon meal. Perhaps some Indian food...a nice mango chutney deftly spread on a papadum, washed back with a spot of tea. They'll speak of the weather and politics and of dreams yet to come. And, for a brief afternoon, they'll forget about worm clad hooks, sharks and the recent shortage of insects and krill. 

That's what stories and adventure can do for us—take us out of ourselves for the moment and sort of reset our buttons. You could pretend that no one at the grocery store knows you're an alien on a mission to appear human. You could sit at the park and watch the critters like you're watching a soap opera, making up the storyline as you go. You could ride your bicycle pretending you're that Toto hating lady in the Wizard of Oz. Ride the elevator backward. Fart on your way out of the subway. Whistle at a man on the street. At the very least it will leave you laughing for hours.

I feel like it's been a long time since I've just had immature, frivolous, silly, spontaneous fun with myself. Because I'm a dramatic person to begin with, that's saying a lot. It's not about doing it with or for anyone. It doesn't have to be elaborate. It's just about making me laugh and turning something mundane into something I'll savor. It's about breaking out of the track we roll on the other 364 days, 23 hours and 45 minutes of the year.

So are you game? If you move forward with the intent, I'll bet an opportunity and idea will present itself. You just have to break out of yourself and not worry how you'll look or what others will think, if they even notice. You ready for some fun?

*From 5/30/12

Sunday, July 28, 2013

7/29/13—Coming to a Tough Realization

Today's Draw: The Sun from the Tierney's Gift Lenormand in the house of The Heart from the Renaissance Lenormand, both by Bridgett Bassett Trejo. Have you been pretty successful in love in your life? How about in friendship? What do you think is the secret for keeping relationships alive and happy?

First I'd like to say that the Tierney's Gift Lenormand is now the fourth deck named after me or one of my babies (Magick Moonbeam has two decks). I'd also like to say that none of these decks were created by me. The other three were created by Beth Seilonen. I believe this is a record in the world of cartomancy (outside of all the decks named after Mlle Lenormand). It's certainly an honor. None of these decks are available for purchase. They're either all sold out or, like the Tierney's Gift, only one copy exists in the entire world.

So, whatever. Just sayin'.

So it's little coincidence that we get Sun in the House of Heart because I'm feeling the love...haha. Sun is success, illumination, optimism. And Heart is love, affection, romance. So in a reading, I'd actually read this pair as "success in matters of the heart". I don't really know what to write about that, however, as I've never been terribly successful in matters of the heart. 

Last week was epic for me. Actually the last two. They've been difficult both emotionally and physically for so many more reasons than whatever would have been apparent on the surface. A lot of inner issues came to the fore as stress and circumstance intensified. 

The result was that I saw something I had been blind to in the past—something that limited how close I allow others to get to me. And it was rooted in fear and a lack of self trust and, to a degree, an insecurity about my own self worth. 

I know I sound like a mess, but I'll bet most self aware people know where I'm coming from and can empathize. It's partly that I don't trust myself to handle relationships effectively. But it's also a bunch of inner fears and insecurities that make me distrustful of others. With all that going on, any animal would be ultra vigilant, seeing and responding to things that aren't even real...creating things that aren't there. 

A few weeks ago I was on the receiving end of just such a thing...someone creating something about me that just wasn't true. And I gratefully escorted them out of my life. Because they were batshit crazy. Turns out, I'm a little batshit crazy too. And now I know why all of that happened. Because tension has been building between me and another person recently, all based on my fears and distrust and not on objective reality. How can you even see objective reality when you're in that state?

In the tarot, the Sun illuminates all the corners of your life, including things normally hidden in shadows. It's always a good card, but it does have that dark side to it...the side of revealing the monsters that hide in the dark. Which is why Judgment is the next that you've seen the monsters you create, what are you going to do about them?

So in this pair the Sun is illuminating the shadows of my heart. It came just in time. The person I'm tense about is someone who has been very good to me for a very long time. And had I allowed my fears and paranoias to overcome me, I would have basically spat in the face of someone I owe a whole lot to. And the karma and guilt that would create would weigh heavily on me. 

So it's been an intense week struggling with the realization of this and fighting the demons in my head. It's also been a bit of a shock to me because I think most would consider me pretty self aware. I'm by no means perfect, but I do cop to my flaws—at the very least I do so within myself, if I don't do it publicly. I'm even aware of things I'm in denial about...haha. But this wasn't even on my radar. Which goes to show that no matter where you think you are on your journey, you're probably actually a number of steps back.