Saturday, January 29, 2011

1/29/11—Finding Individuality

Weekend Reading: Two of Poetry from The William Blake Tarot. "Every man's wisdom is peculiar to his own individuality." This weekend, take time out of the whirl of life to consider your own individuality. Who are you beyond the ego...beyond society's imprint and expectations...beyond the mask? Embrace that which makes you unique because therein lies the special gift you have to give.

Friday, January 28, 2011

1/28/11—Retooling Your Baggage

Today's Draw: Judgment from J Jordan Hoggard's Tarot in the Land of Mystereum. Are there unfortunate memories of things that have happened in the past that you carry around? Were you born to a circumstance you can't shake? Have you done something you can't forgive yourself for? What unnecessary baggage might you be carrying?
As part of what is called the "Major Arcana", the Judgment card is one of the major lessons in the tarot. In fact, it's the final lesson before the completion of life's journey where we get to embrace ourselves wholly and fully as we are. T...raditionally, it's a time of summing up and weighing our pros against our cons. It's about seeing oneself honestly. And it's also about resurrection and rebirth.

Jordan's spin on it, however, is that it's a time of putting down our baggage and retooling each memory within. Some dark and heavy ones might need to be taken from the bag and placed somewhere out of reach. Others may need to be lightened as you reconsider the positive gifts they gave you. His message is that you don't have to be at the mercy of your past. Memories are good things. Your history is your history. Your lessons are your lessons. But they don't 't have to dictate or limit your future if you'd rather have a different outcome than your past suggests.

We've all seen this, right? Someone grows up in a certain atmosphere, so they limit themselves thinking they don't deserve or aren't worthy of equal happiness in the present. Or someone makes a huge mistake in their early years and never quite forgives themselves, thereby limiting their future.

In fact, I may be your example of this...haha. Certainly I carry around ideas of myself that were formed in childhood and limit progress in adulthood. But this card is telling me that I can let go of that burden and allow new things to grow in the space the letting go creates. I mean, really....what good is another year or thinking about this crap going to do me? If I haven't resolved it all by now, I may never. Why carry it around? This is not to say to forget it ever happened, but rather to make peace with it and stop returning to it and poking at it so I can continue down my road with a lighter burden and more room for potential and opportunity.

What does this card say to you?

Thursday, January 27, 2011

1/27/11—Connecting to Oneness

Today's Draw: 1 of Cups (Ace) from the Tarot of Transformation. Do you feel connected and at one with something greater than you? Does that type of connection extend to all of society? Does that type of connection extend to all of nature? And does it extend to the entire universe? Where do you draw the line on reverence and universal love?
The Tarot of Transformation is one of my favorite decks. The artwork is breathtaking (but the cards are flimsy). The deck is focused on the spiritual journey within.

One of the co...ncepts on that journey is the concept of oneness. the Ace of Cups uses a child in the womb to represent that. The card also bears the words, "Dissolving Into Oneness". When you were in the womb, you were as if a single organism with your mother, so you were separate, but one. This is a connection many feel with their higher power. The concept of oneness expands upon that to include you being one with everything in the universe.

So that jerk down the street who shovels snow into your path, he is you. That woman who tirelessly serves humanity, she is you. Your sweet baby dog is you. The mountain you watch a sunset from is you. And the stars...especially the stars...they are you. The concept of oneness is about you being inextricably connected to all that is. You ARE all that is. There is nothing in this universe that is not in you. While you are "you", you are also, as when in the womb, part of a single organism that contains everything that is. It's a big concept to consider if you've never heard of it before.

The card suggests that you take some time in silence today and feel this connection. First, imagine yourself in the state you were in in the one with your mother. Then the next easiest thing to imagine would be God. Then your family...friends...strangers...pets...nature...universe. Feel the rhythm of all that is present within you. And bring that feeling and sense into your daily dealings, if you can. Even if it's just having one different interaction with that annoying co-worker because of it.

For me, my higher power, nature and the universe are really easy. I think I can say on a daily basis...or thereabouts...I feel a rhythmic, symbiotic, at-one connection to those things. People are harder for me. I've come to a place where, when I criticize or feel like criticizing other people, I at least eventually look to see where I am that person. And it's not just a self journey of understanding myself better, it's a spiritual journey and way of being on this earth that I, personally, feel is integral to our survival. Or will be. I sometimes think of myself as a cell in a much larger organism. One cell can become a cancer cell or a warrior for wellness, influencing all the other cells around them in an energetic dance. The entire organism is one. And I ask myself if I want to be a cancer cell or a warrior for wellness.

The concept of oneness goes even beyond what I've said here and I feel like I'm failing in describing it. Perhaps Sheila or someone else can come in and add to what I've said. But regardless, today's card is about bringing that concept into your awareness and trying for yourself to dissolve into that oneness and beginning to see life through different eyes if you are open to considering this concept.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

1/26/11—Expressing Strengths

Today's Draw: Nine of Wands from the Thoth. What is a strength or ability you've only recently discovered in yourself? What is something that was suppressed in you in childhood that turned out to be a strength in real life? Are there any fears holding back the expression of new strengths in your life?
The Thoth is one of the "master" decks of tarot. The Rider Waite is the basis for most tarot decks, the Tarot de Marseilles is the pioneer that launched a thousand decks and the Thoth comes in third with a number of decks based on its artwo...rk and structure. Beyond that (unless I'm forgetting something) everything else is considered "non-traditional". That said, the Thoth is the most mysterious and least understood of the three. The driving force behind this was a megalomaniac black warlock, Aleister Crowley. For that reason, this deck was absent from my collection for many years, only to resurface recently after an excellent presentation that opened my eyes to the complexity and beauty of the deck.

The Nine of Wands bears the word "Strength" in this deck. Which is why all the questions have to do with strength. Wands are also associated with creativity and passion, so you could also consider the emergence creative strengths. Today's questions require some thought. I think that we grow and change and don't necessarily look back and acknowledge the ways in which we've created and recreated our own lives. So it's a good exercise.

To answer my own questions, I've recently developed a strength and confidence in expressing my feelings and then walking away. What I mean by this is that I've begun to say how I feel about something as frankly and as honestly as I can, but without all the attendant drama and whatnot that used to accompany such things. Now, I'm certainly not perfect in this, but instead of letting things fester or instead of having a tantrum, I'm learning to say "what you did bothered me for this reason" or "when you said such and such, I felt such and such" and leave it at that. What the other person wants to do with it or how they internalize it is their issue. I'm learning to say it and walk away...release it from my shoulders, as it were. After all, what I've said is about me, not them. And if the other person has a hissy fit because I'm not kissing their ass and they want it to be all about them, that's their issue, not mine. I'm not being mean or pointing a finger...just saying this is how I feel about it. If they want to apologize, fine. If they want to create drama, whatever. If they want to ignore it, fine. None of that matters to me anymore. The point is that I've expressed myself...not that I'm looking for feedback. And once expressed, I can stop carrying that thought...that's the real triumph. That I'm not carrying this crap around with me.

This one thing really answers all the questions. In childhood, my feelings or opinions weren't necessarily affirmed or welcomed. I grew up in a household where the only version of right belonged to my parents. So whether I suppressed my opinions or threw a tantrum didn't matter. Nobody was listening. And the fear of expressing myself was that there would be some sort of consequence to pay. But that's another triumph. I'm not concerned about the consequences. If you can't listen like an adult or if you need to take everything personally, then maybe we're not a good fit. Because that's how I roll now. Remember, we're talking about MY feelings here, not about you. So if you need to take it personally have at it. That's not what was intended. I'm not saying "you did this to me and and are a mean person because of it". I'm saying "I feel X about Y. Period." If you want to add context to it that isn't there, that's on you.

I actually have more things to mention, but have already gone on long enough. Last year brought many changes to my life and my response to them has been that I've become a stronger person who looks outside herself less and less for affirmation and entertains guilt trips less and less for things she didn't do. I've also become more accepting other peoples' faults and issues, oddly enough. It means that certain types of people are no longer appropriate for certain areas of my heart and mind. Not that they're shut out completely, necessarily, but that I no longer give them importance that I once did.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

1/25/11—Being Aware of Words and Actions

Today's Draw: Queen of Swords from Deviant Moon Tarot. Are you carrying guilt, shame or regret over your thoughts or beliefs? Over words you might have shared with another? Over actions you may have taken, righteous or otherwise?
The Queen of Swords in the Deviant Moon is a sad figure. She has her power, but she doesn't have happiness. And there is blood on her sword, a symbol of thoughts and ideas.

Sometimes the things we may do, think or say give us a sense of or superiority...but also cleave distance between us and the love we hope to find. Telling someone off, for example, may make you feel righteous, but you may also lose the love of the person you tell off. We're all guilty of stuff like this. It could be an idea we carry that comes with the burden of being misunderstood. Or a salesperson we were rude to that leaves us feeling ashamed of our behavior. Or a stance we take in a leadership role that leaves the big cheese standing alone. It's not only about stuff we do wrong. It's about stuff we do right, too. But sometimes right can be lonely.

So think of this today. It's the whole "would you rather be happy or be right?" thing. Too often I tend to choose "right". And I tend to debate...should I be honest about how I feel or should I keep the peace? Sometimes "keeping the peace" isn't keeping the peace because you're filled with anger or resentment. So what say you on all of this?

Monday, January 24, 2011

1/24/11—Cultivating Your Inner Knowing

Today's Draw: The High Priestess from the Medicine Woman tarot. When, if ever, do you consult your intuitive "knowing"? Do you trust your intuition over other clues available to you? What do you believe about psychic ability?
In the Medicine Woman deck, the High Priestess card also bears the word "seeker". She is one who looks within for answers. She consults her body, her mind and her inner knowing above all else.

Most people will acknowledge some sort of intui...tive and/or coincidental "knowing" that happens now and again and is oddly accurate. It can be anything from the lane you choose at the grocery store to the plane you don't get on that crashes. Maybe the appearance of this intuition doesn't seem all predictable for you. It just happens and you may or may not listen, but sometimes you find out when you don't listen that you should have. And that's about all the thought you put into it.

But what you may not know is that this "knowing" is a "muscle" you can strengthen. And when you strengthen it, it can become more present and reliable in your life. And that's what it means to be psychic. Some people are born with stronger gifts than others, but all psychics are made in one way or another. Even someone who is born extraordinarily gifted has to learn how to use it. And make no mistake...we ALL have this. We've had it since we were cavemen and probably relied on more strongly then for our survival. It is within us and can be a valuable source of information.

Here's a simple way to start building it. Next time you need to make a choice or are wondering how something might turn out, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, then, while inhaling, thinking of one of your realities. For example, if you want to know whether you should move to Chicago or stay in Atlanta, inhale thinking of the reality of moving to Chicago. Then note how your body your gut feels. Then the do the same thing with Atlanta and note how your gut feels. When people talk about "gut feelings" this is what they mean. For me, I get a little nervous butterfly in my core when the answer is "no" and a very pleasant emptiness when the answer is "yes". It may be different for you, but play with it to find out.