Friday, September 30, 2011

10/1/11-10/2/11—Moving Toward Your Dreams

Weekend Reading: Seven of Cups from Tarot Leaves by Beth Seilonen. Weekends hold a lot of quality time for our daydreams. There are so many things we want for ourselves. And too often those things never make it out of dreams an into the real world. This weekend why not take a step...just one the direction of one of those dreams? Want a new career? Come up with a vision statement as to what you want out of it and put it on paper. Want a relationship? Smile at a cutie while running your errands. Want to lose weight? Take a nice walk amidst the falling leaves. Want to get closer to God? Get outside, sit in nature's chapel and take some time for stillness. There are some things in life that are better left as dreams. But there are a lot that would not only make our lives deeper and richer, but also strengthen our belief in life, magic and ourselves. Why not take a step in the direction of one of those things and save idle daydreaming for next weekend?

Thursday, September 29, 2011

9/30/11—Visiting from Beyond

Today's Draw: Father of Air from the Today's Journey Tarot. Do you have a deceased loved one that visits and guides you? Do you have a story to share about this? Would you like to think that you could return after you're gone to help see loved ones through?

This is one of two brand new decks I received this week and, though I haven't fully explored it, I'm liking this deck. While the imagery is non-traditional deck, the meanings seem to correspond with traditional meanings. 

The Father of Air equates to the King of Swords in a traditional deck and represents a mature man who is analytical, intelligent, generous and insightful. Drawn by Christopher Wilkey, there is a clever nuance of this man as a pilot, in control, yet detached from the earth. He keeps his passengers safe. His cool, detached demeanor is good for his job, but not always good for relationships.

I can't look at this card without seeing my father. He was an Air Force navigator and the embodiment of everything I've described thus far about this card. I don't know how things are today, but in his generation, it was rare for a navigator to make it past the rank of Colonel. My father was a Major General (two stars) and was in charge of communications for the entire Air Force. He was an accomplished man. 

As I'm writing this tears are in my eyes because I think this card came as message to let me know he is still with me. I mean, it just looks like him. I don't think anyone in my family could look at this card and not see him. He died 23 years ago and was here with me 12 years ago to help me through a life transition. And this card makes me feel he's here with me again to help me through another. Knowing he's here makes me feel safer. 

I think deceased people sometimes come back to help the ones they left behind in ways they couldn't when they were alive. My father was detached when he was alive. He wasn't a nurturer. He wasn't involved. While he may not have been there as I needed in life, he has been in death. For as mystically inclined I am, I'm also skeptical and analytical. If I didn't have so many unexplainable occurrences in my past to support my theory, I'd think I was just making this up to feel better about a relationship that didn't go the way I wanted it to. But I've heard his voice, felt his presence, smelled his cigar smoke and practically been bonked over the head by him in the past. 

Thing is, many years ago I told him we were square and that he was free to move on. And all the odd stuff stopped happening. But getting this card tonight, at this particular time, feels like a message that he's still there to help me pilot my own life when I need him. For someone who hasn't had a parent to lean on or be comforted by in 23 years, that's a nice thing to feel. 

Do you have someone in the afterlife that you still feel in this one?

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

9/29/11—Appreciating Your Circle

Today's Draw: Three of Earth from the Gaian Tarot. Do you have a circle of friends that help you be a better you? How does their presence in your life help you serve others better? When was the last time you told them what they mean to you?

Every time I see this card, I think about how the women in this card are all Joanna Powell Colbert's (the artist's) good friends. They meet now and again to put craft healing salves and tinctures. But who could say what's more healing...the products they create or the time they spend together? It's no wonder this is one of her favorite cards.

I'm dedicating this entry to my sister Janet and my tarot ladies. They're the ladies I did the retreat with a few months back. They don't do Facebook. They don't really do the internet. But they do my blog and give me both healing and encouraging input.  Their support in this pursuit means a lot to me and knowing they read regularly keeps me from half-assing it on those days I want to...haha. 

I would say the best move I've made for my own self-development and health is to have found healing friendships like this. We meet on a regular basis, whether it's for dinner, a ceremony or some other reason. Some of the things we discuss as a group echo out to help others in our individual spheres. And if one of us reaches out to the other in need, we don't ask questions. We're there.

I also have a woman I've exchanged services with for a couple of years. I help her promote her business so she can reach more people. And she gives me healing services so the relationships I have are more sane and spiritual...haha. And recently, one of my clients has mentioned moving toward a more healing way of doing business she wants to discuss with me and others "like us".

While some of these are business relationships, they're all much more than that. We're all spiritually minded people on a healing path. And our communal relationship makes us stronger and more able to serve others. 

Joanna's initial thought on this card was people coming together to make healing products for other, and the friendship they share infusing the products with more medicine. But service comes in many forms. Even if you're not in a healing field, everything you do serves something or someone. And our friendships and communities bring us the kind of energy that infuses that service with extra oomph. One of my friends has her mommy circle, for example. They gather over wine and blow off steam to put them back in balance for another day of serving family. 

Who or what is this circle in your life. And if you don't do so regularly, why not reach out and let these people know how important they are to you? 

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

9/28/11—Pushing Forward, Regardless

Today's Draw: Warrior Prince from Tarot of the Sidhe. Are you passionately pursuing something right now? Or are you passionately NOT pursuing something right now? Why do we sometimes make it so hard on ourselves to walk the path of our dreams?

Well, there's definitely a pattern between yesterday's card and today's. The Warrior Prince or Knight of Wands is a bold, cavalier crusader, driven by a passion for his cause. Fiery. Caustic. Driven.

Gosh, I could use some of his energy now! And I could have used some of yesterday's energy, too. But instead I'm limp. Flailing. Distracted.


Thing is, I know I won't miss my book deadline. I can't anyway, because I'm so busy otherwise that I have to finish on time just to have time to do all the other stuff on my plate. And, interestingly, progress keeps getting made. So I trust it will all work out in the end. It always does. And when I procrastinate, it always comes down to yesterday's card and today's in the end—putting my nose to the grindstone and lighting a fire under my butt to complete the task at hand.

I think everyone thinks they'd like to write a book until they write one. I won't know until all is said and done if it will be worth the internal struggle to put words on paper, but I suspect it will. There's this phenomenon where mothers forget the pain of childbirth, otherwise they'd never have another baby again. I'm guessing it's like that. I mean, you write something and it's not published for a year...there's plenty of time to forget.

But what stumps me is why I'm avoiding this so much. It's not like I'm not used to writing. I've written every day for 25 years as part of my career. And many times I'm writing stuff I don't want to, yet I push on. But this thing is even more difficult for me than that. I wonder if I want to be an author, but don't want to write...haha. I wonder if all authors feel that way. 

I suppose if it were easy, everyone would be doing it. Some days I just have to remind myself that I have things I'm really driven to share with the world. That's what's behind this, whether I'm trodding through molasses or being blown forward in a fiery vacuum, I won't stop walking toward that goal. And that is the gift of the Warrior Prince...the gift of Spirit. It doesn't always feel exciting or wonderful. It's not always something you want to acknowledge or greet in the morning. But it is always there. Pushing you forward.

Monday, September 26, 2011

9/27/11—Putting Your Nose To The Grindstone

Today's Draw: The Eight of Pentacles from the Steampunk Tarot. Is it time to put your nose to the grindstone? Are you clear on what you're doing all this work for? Does it serve you or do you serve it?

The Eight of Pentacles is about skill, determination, progress, attention to detail and, in the case of this card, putting your nose to the grindstone and getting it done. 

Sometimes that's what it comes down to, isn't it? No matter how much you like what you're doing...or no matter how much you want to avoid doing it...there are times when you just have to dig in and knock the work out. While, of course, paying attention to detail. 

That's where I am right now and have been for a few weeks. I'm not a victim. My ambition and procrastination have put me in any uncomfortable position I might be in. So I can't even feel sorry for myself. All that's left to do is put my head into my work, my shoulder to the plow and whatever other cliches I can think of until the job is done. 

What's interesting in this deck is that the pentacles are roulette wheels, rather than some sort of coins. This reminds us that our future and our fortune is in our own hands. It's not guaranteed. So if we want something special on a career or monetary basis, we have to put special effort into getting it. A good thing to keep in mind when you want to whine about all you have on your plate. You're the one that asked for may as well just do it. And if you have no idea why you're working so hard, it may be time to review your goals and methods.

9/26/11—Judging Judgers and the People Who Judge Them

Today's Draw: Judgment from the Victorian Romantic tarot. What kinds of things to people judge you for? Are their judgments fair and accurate? Why do you think they judge you this way?

Today's card was drawn by a guest drawer, Bubbles of the fabulous c.1960s duo, Bubbles and Gwen. 

As you'd expect, the Judgment card frequently deals with judgment. Some believe that, on a spiritual level, this card indicates a time of a summing up your life in light of how it might determine your place in the afterlife or your place in the next life. But on a personal level, it goes beyond the judgment of others to helping us discover our deepest personal truths.

We've all felt judged before. Maybe we're not smart enough. Or pretty enough. Thin enough. Funny enough. GOOD enough. We look around us and everyone seems more compelling, more engaged by life. They MUST be looking at us and seeing the hairy mole on the side of our faces. Or maybe they whisper about our divorces. Or don't think we're adequate mothers. 

There have been times in my life that I've actually avoided life and public altogether because I was afraid of what others would think of me...of my appearance or my eccentricities or the way I carry myself through life. These were painful times for me and they're not so long ago that I can honestly say "I'm past that now."

What I finally realized, though, was this...people may judge you for 1/10th of a second when they see you. But just like you're all in your own head all the time, so are they. They're too busy thinking about their freaked out eyebrows or the suggestive dance they did at the office party to think about your issues. 

When you find yourself bracing against or fearing judgment, the judging has already happened. And it's something you've done to yourself. I mean, if you didn't judge yourself, how else would you know what others might judge you for?

Things started to turn around for me when I started worrying that people might judge me for being cute and smart and funny. When I finally realized that, as is human nature, they would probably judge me for being far superior to them in the areas in which they judged themselves. When I finally figured out that, while some people might judge me, pretty much of all of them are too intensely distracted by their own shortcomings to notice the booger coming out of my nose. 

So if you answered the questions above, go back and re-read your answers, replacing "people" with "I". For example, if I say "People judge me for the amount of time I spend in the shower each day. With all the unbathed people in the third world, they think I am wasting water." And change it to "I judge myself for the amount of time I spend in the shower each day. With all the unbathed people in the third world, I think I am wasting water." 

Just that simply, you reveal your truth and the way you feel about yourself. And if you don't like being so hard on yourself, you can change your behavior. And you can also change the way you judge yourself. With that, I leave you with a quote I didn't find on my Facebook feed just prior to writing this entry. While there was a quote similar to it on my feed, it's not exactly this. Because if it were, I would apparently have to pay Mike C. to use it:
"My life is an abject failure when judged by any other measure than how much I enjoy it". ~ NOT Mike C.