Friday, August 23, 2013

8/24/13-8/25/13—Catching a Glimpse of What's to Come

Weekend Reading: The Moon from the Badger's Forest Tarot by Nakisha. Something is going on beneath the surface this weekend and the cards are asking you to try to catch a glimpse of it. Maybe it's in the undertone of someone's voice, a surprise from out of the blue or an odd coincidence. Or maybe it won't give you much of a clue that it's there at all. But it's there. And now you know it's there, you can look for it. If all of this sounds ominous, it's not. The Moon is not an unfriendly card at all. In fact, for those of us accustomed to its murky way of revealing things, it's light is much more friendly than the harsh light of the Sun. But the messages it can bring can be elusive and hard to grasp. Then one day you'll be sitting there, minding your own business, and realize something has shifted or been revealed and you'll wonder where it came from. Now you know. It was born in your subconscious and gently washed upon your shore by the force of the Moon. So keep an eye out this weekend for a glimpse of what's to come. It could just be the next good thing in your life. 

Thursday, August 22, 2013

8/23/13—Coming Clean About My Tarot Addiction

Today's Draw: Seven of Disks from the Tarot of the Holy Light. Do you have something you collect? Do you feel a to collecting these things? And do you have any intention of stopping anytime soon?

This is my third draw this week from a brand new tarot deck. You might surmise I have an issue. Me likey collecting tarot decks. And you know what the Seven of Disks says? It says it's OK. The things I collect are the rewards of my labor and I deserve them. 

Sweet little Seven of Disks. *stroking card lovingly*

See, I work at home, so I don't buy tons of nice clothes. I don't travel to exotic places. I drive old cars. I eat at home a lot. I live in a modest house. I don't rush out for the latest technology and, in fact, don't buy anything new along those lines until the old one is broken. I don't now, nor have I ever, lived beyond my means. But there *are* a few things I spend money on. Tarot is one of them. And at about $20 a deck (on average), they're not that expensive of a habit.

Of course that doesn't mean I don't still have an issue. I certainly do. I have more decks than I care to admit or even know of. Certainly over 300. Easily. I have never actually counted because I'm afraid of being mortified by the actual number (unlike my friend R. who inventories hers and carries a list with her everywhere she goes. It's nice having friends like R. that you can point at and say "she's sicker than I am.") 

Even though I have all my decks concentrated in six strategic touch points across my home so that I'm never more than two steps away from a deck, I still can't seem to locate some of them and I don't know why (has anyone seen my Fishy Tarot or my Alchemical Renewed?) And sometimes I suffer the secret shame of purchasing a deck that I already own. That's the worst. It doesn't get much lower than that. 

The truly sad part is that I've joined a group called Tarotholics Anonymous. Do you know what they do there? They talk about tarot and how great it is. And then they brag about the latest and greatest deck they just purchased, inciting the rest of us to run off and snatch up a copy for ourselves before they're all gone. So much for support groups.

Then there's something called the Limited Edition, Self-Published deck. Those are made just for people like me. Only maybe 1000 copies exist in the entire world and I must have one of them. They don't cost $20. Not even close. Some cost more than 10x that much. But one day they're going to be worth MUCH more than I paid for them. Maybe. That's, of course, if I could ever part with one. (Tarot addicts around the globe are snorting milk out their noses right now at the ridiculous notion that someone would actually part with a LE HTF OOP deck willingly.) (For the neophytes, that's Limited Edition, Hard To Find, Out Of Print. *exaggerated sigh* *eye roll* Newbies!)

And then there are some decks that sell out within seconds. I do not own a Russian edition of the Victorian Romantic** and it KILLS me. It would go nicely with my LE Gold Victorian Romantic and my two regular HTF OOP editions. Because of this ONE deck, my Baba Prague (the deck creator) collection is incomplete. But what are you going to do? Damn scalpers beat me out every time a small batch of 50 or so were released. Seconds, people! That's how fast these things sold out! That's what I get for not sitting at home and obsessively refreshing my email so I could be first in line. Clearly I didn't want it ENOUGH.

For the casual tarot readers and non-tarot folk reading it, I'm sure all this sounds insane. I could cite a number of my Facebook friends who have similar afflictions for the things they collect. Sure, it's different when it's YOU and your [insert material object here] lust we're talking about. But tarot decks? Whatever. 

My name is Tierney and I'm a tarotholic. Who are you?

*From 11/11/11. **I own one now. 

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

8/22/13—Allowing What Is

Today's Draw Classic*: Three of Swords from the Maat Tarot by Julie Cuccia-Watts. Has someone broken your heart? What did you do? And are you willing to see it through different eyes?

Nothing makes a Thursday happier than a dove pierced through the heart by three swords. And if you look closely at the swords, each bears the symbol of a different major religion. I grabbed the photo of the card from the Inner Whispers blog and really enjoyed her interpretation

"The message seems to be that religious ideas can sometimes kill peace and cause heartache.  Given the number of religious wars there have been, the idea of losing family to violent conflict still underlies this image.  There is also the aspect that, when religious ideas separate people, it can destroy families in a more subtle way, too.  This is a reminder that we can lose people in many ways.  For example, what of the person who comes back from a war or other traumatic situation a changed person?  Oftentimes people say they feel that their loved one never really came back, even when they are physically there.  So, losing someone to war, to religion, them no longer being there, or being there physically and yet not really present, or unwilling to connect because of differences in belief.  Heartache indeed!"

Traditionally we think of this card as a broken heart. Someone has hurts us and our heart bleeds, usually in a romantic situation. But as Inner Whispers says above, it doesn't have to be romantic. The person doesn't even have to mean to hurt us. In fact, it doesn't even have to be a person. It can be the spoils of fate that set the pain flowing. 

Further the heartbreak can be ourselves breaking our own heart. Make each sword symbolize body, mind and soul and you can see how, when the three are not in agreement/alignment, it can kill your own peace...break your own heart. Which dovetails (haha...get it? Dove? Dovetails?) nicely with Julie Cuccia-Watts' interpretation. 

In the book that comes with this deck, Cuccia-Watts observes the scientific principle that energy is never lost or destroyed, it just changes form. So love is never lost, it just becomes something else. And, if you think logically, the love you had before still remains. And now you have something different to add to it. But what was love before, was still love. Because of this, she posits that heartbreak isn't so much about what you've lost, because you haven't lost anything. Heartbreak is really just the pain that comes from losing control—or from losing the perception that you ever really had control in the first place. 

Think about it for a second. Isn't that the cause of most of the pain we have in life? Lack of control...and the desire to have it? Lack of control in and of itself doesn't cause pain. It's when you fight against the lack of control that you experience pain. Anytime we try to swim against the stream of "what is", we experience pain. Sadness may be a byproduct of being human, but intense pain, sorrow, heartbreak...all of those can be avoided.

Wars happen because we're fighting against the fact not everyone thinks or feels as we do. Heartbreak happens when we fight against the fact that a relationship has changed. Sorrow occurs when we lose something we're not ready to accept the loss of. Ultimately, it's never someone else who is causing the pain in our lives. It's all on us, refusing to accept "what is"...what has changed. It comes from fighting against the flow. 

Last week we talked about putting on armor to protect ourselves from being hurt. It's ironic that the only impermeable armor there is, is not in holding others at arm's length to keep them from hurting us. It's actually in letting them in and letting whatever will be, be.

From 5/28/12

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

8/21/13—Allowing Others Their Path

Today's Draw Classic*: Key in the House of The Book, using Melissa Hill's Postmark Lenormand and my own Deck of Lenormand Houses. If you saw a friend on the verge of making what you thought was a big mistake, what would you do or say? How far would you go to stop them? When do you love someone so much that you set them free?

The House of the Book is the house of secrets, knowledge and mystery. And The Key is about solutions, breakthroughs, karmic lessons and destiny. This all conjures up something I've been thinking about for a couple weeks—and something I just discussed with a friend over dinner tonight. If someone needs to learn a lesson, the universe will make them learn it. We don't know why the lesson is being brought to them, but it's for a reason. So let them learn it. 

What I mean by that is that we often want to "save" our friends or children from bad situations. Let's say, for example, your friend has taken up with someone that you know is just using them. Certainly you want to talk to your friend and let them know you're concerned. But there are times we try to insert ourselves further into situations like this....maybe we pray on their behalf that they'll dump the friend. Or maybe we go to the friend and buy them off...haha. I don't know. I'm just making things up. But you get my point. We try to "save" our friend from what we know is going to be certain pain. 

But are we really saving our friend? Are we really doing good? And when we insert ourselves into the fate of another, what kind of energy are we bringing back on ourselves? How much of another's path is our business?

Your friend may be too trusting for her own good. And if you save her, and she's not able to learn her lesson, then what if the next person who comes along is worse than the first? What if they don't just hurt her emotionally, but physically this time? And what if she's now less willing to listen to you because you imposed on her friendship with the other person before?

The way I believe, we all come here to learn certain lessons. And while it may hurt to see our loved ones learn their lessons, their lessons are theirs to learn. We have no dominion over whether or not those lessons get learned. And as you know from your own life, just telling someone that something's bad isn't really going to deter them if they're fixated on it. So we can ground our sons to keep them away from harlots, but the second they're out from under our thumb, they'll be in a harlot's arms...haha. Only now the harlot will be older and more cunning. So were we really doing him a service keeping him from the slightly slutty 16 year old that could have taught him his lesson years ago?

I have a feeling this is going to be a hard one for a lot of people. Because it is hard. When do you insert yourself and when do you allow them their own path? Where do you draw the line? In fact, many people don't even see someone else's life as "their path". They see their loved ones as being their responsibility. But each of has to take command of our own lives and our own lessons. Further, I believe each of us have an agreement with our god in this regard and there's nothing anyone else can do about it. The lessons will get learned. 

But the thing we all have to decide for ourselves is where we draw that line. Every parent has had to face this dilemma at one time or another, I assume. But the same goes for our friends and family members, too. Their lessons aren't ours to derail. And we not only do them a disservice by trying to do that, we also court the teaching of a lesson in our own lives about interference. That may manifest in many ways, including pushing the other person away. 

With me, I'll probably always say something to the person. Something along the lines of "I'm concerned about this person, because I've seen them hurt others before and I don't want the same to happen to you." And then I'll follow with something like, "I'm concerned, but I support whatever choice you make and, if anything does happen, I'll be here for you. In fact, I won't even say I told you so." In the end, that's really all we can do. 

*From 1/25/13

Monday, August 19, 2013

8/19/13—Waking Up To Love

Today's Draw Classic*: Ace of Cups from the Touchstone Tarot. How much love passes through your life unnoticed? How much beauty goes by unappreciated? What could bring you joy today if you just stopped and looked?

The Ace of Cups is a card signifying profound contentment, joy and abundance. It often signals something new in the heart, whether it be a new love or a new creative project. 

An interesting note about this card is that I drew it from the mass market edition, but the image I found must be from the limited edition. The only difference between the two cards is that, in the edition I drew from, the woman is looking at us. And in the edition I used as today's image, she's looking at the cup...the love, the emotion. Prior to finding this image, I had already decided the topic of today's entry, so it's really kind of synchronistic that the image I found had that one little difference that aligned with my entry.

Every morning when I wake up I have a particular routine before I even get out of bed. I reach for my iPod Touch and check emails and Facebook. Usually, the second I reach for the iPod, Magick moves from the foot of the bed to up near my head for some morning love. Then, like a Pavlovian response, the second I click the iPod off, Kizzie arrives next to the bed for his morning pets and to give me my one kiss of the day. Then Magick gets jealous and crowds me for more love. 

At a different time of my life, when I was more rushed for time in the morning, I might shoo them out of the way. I can totally see a grumpy waker being annoyed by them being under foot first thing in the morning. But instead, every morning I feel and give the love. It is easily one of the two the best parts of my day, the other being our outdoor snuggles prior to bedtime. I begin and end the day with love. And this morning, something else special happened. As I was outside getting ready to write this, Magick came up to me, her head covered in the Forget Me Nots I had planted when my old dog, Passion, died. It's also interesting to note that my sister's mother-in-law died today, as well. A message from those above that they were with me and sharing the love, too. 

Now, from a different perspective, I could say "every morning my dogs wake me by demanding attention and this morning Magick got into my flowers and the evidence was all over her head." Same story, different choice of how to see it. 

There is love and beauty all around us, if we would just stop to notice. As I was writing this, a black bird was feeding in my back yard and he had the most beautiful blue cast to the back of his neck. I watched him in awe. But I would have missed that moment if I were so busy serving a hundred thousand purposes that I didn't take the time to notice. At some point, especially as we get older, we have to ask ourselves what are we really here for? To run errands and polish our chrome fixtures at home (which I understand is some people's idea of beauty and that's cool)? Are we here to maintain things between the big moments in life? Or are we here to bask in the abundance of the little moments along the way?

It's so easy to get caught up in the details of daily life that we don't stop to be conscious. But it's also easy to retrain our habits so that we do. Today when your child or pet enters the room, stop what you're doing and take them in with your undivided attention. On your way to the car, take a moment to look around at the community of squirrels and birds and flora around you. Literally stop and smell the roses. As you're sitting in your home, allow your eyes to rest on a favorite piece of art. Or catch your own eye in that shiny chrome of yours and smile. It just takes a few seconds to see the love, beauty and abundance all around you.

*From 5/24/11

Sunday, August 18, 2013

8/19/2013—Leaving Distrust in the Past

Today's Draw: Four of Pentacles in the What to Leave in the Past position from the Animism Tarot and the Deck of 1000 Spreads. Is something giving you cause for doubt lately? What's really going on beneath your lack of trust? Who or what is not to be trusted here?

The Four of Pentacles is usually about holding on to resources too tightly, hoarding or being stingy. Today this little skunk has led me to another thought, though. He seems to be coming back to check on his stores, count them and make sure they're still there. 

This kind of worry manifests in all areas of our life. It's checking the husband's cell phone to make sure he's not calling anyone he shouldn't. Testing a friend's loyalty by asking her to do something just out of her comfort zone. Seeking reassurance from your boss that they still value you. Asking a deceased loved one—or God—for signs that they're around. 

However it manifests, you don't trust that what you once had is still in tact. So you check. And test. And prod. The opposite of this is to take it for be so confident that you never look back and see where weeds might be growing over whatever it is that's precious to you. So what this combo comes to tell us is to leave all of that in the past and replace it with trust. 

The trust I'm talking about today isn't necessarily trusting your higher power to always look out for you. It could certainly be that. But today, I think is all about trusting yourself enough to know that if someone takes one of your strawberries—or all of them—that you'll be ok. That you can go out and find more strawberries, just as you found these. Or that if strawberry season is over, you can harvest some other fruit. 

Checking in on your people/things/resources is healthy when done in moderation. We need to tend things. But doing it too much comes from fear. Fear of loss, yes. But what's behind the fear of loss? Fear of devastation, perhaps? Fear of this being the time you don't manage to survive something to become better or stronger because of it? Fear that this will be the last time you love, eat, enjoy life or whatever? 

On an intellectual level, we all know we can survive most anything. But on an emotional level, we don't want to have to. On a spiritual level, though, it is inevitable because it's one of the key ways we grow. And the lessons we want to learn are confidence and faith in ourselves, and confidence and faith in the wisdom of the course our life takes. 

The trick in life is not to trust blindly and completely. It's to know the difference between a lack of trust because of fear and a lack of trust because of untrustworthiness. If it's the latter, then you have to ask yourself who or what are you really not trusting? Most of the time the answer is you're really not trusting yourself to respond appropriately when something proves itself untrustworthy or unreliable. If, instead, you're checking in repeatedly because of fear and not finding anything untoward, it might be time to ask if the one who can't be trusted is you.