Sunday, August 18, 2013

8/19/2013—Leaving Distrust in the Past

Today's Draw: Four of Pentacles in the What to Leave in the Past position from the Animism Tarot and the Deck of 1000 Spreads. Is something giving you cause for doubt lately? What's really going on beneath your lack of trust? Who or what is not to be trusted here?

The Four of Pentacles is usually about holding on to resources too tightly, hoarding or being stingy. Today this little skunk has led me to another thought, though. He seems to be coming back to check on his stores, count them and make sure they're still there. 

This kind of worry manifests in all areas of our life. It's checking the husband's cell phone to make sure he's not calling anyone he shouldn't. Testing a friend's loyalty by asking her to do something just out of her comfort zone. Seeking reassurance from your boss that they still value you. Asking a deceased loved one—or God—for signs that they're around. 

However it manifests, you don't trust that what you once had is still in tact. So you check. And test. And prod. The opposite of this is to take it for be so confident that you never look back and see where weeds might be growing over whatever it is that's precious to you. So what this combo comes to tell us is to leave all of that in the past and replace it with trust. 

The trust I'm talking about today isn't necessarily trusting your higher power to always look out for you. It could certainly be that. But today, I think is all about trusting yourself enough to know that if someone takes one of your strawberries—or all of them—that you'll be ok. That you can go out and find more strawberries, just as you found these. Or that if strawberry season is over, you can harvest some other fruit. 

Checking in on your people/things/resources is healthy when done in moderation. We need to tend things. But doing it too much comes from fear. Fear of loss, yes. But what's behind the fear of loss? Fear of devastation, perhaps? Fear of this being the time you don't manage to survive something to become better or stronger because of it? Fear that this will be the last time you love, eat, enjoy life or whatever? 

On an intellectual level, we all know we can survive most anything. But on an emotional level, we don't want to have to. On a spiritual level, though, it is inevitable because it's one of the key ways we grow. And the lessons we want to learn are confidence and faith in ourselves, and confidence and faith in the wisdom of the course our life takes. 

The trick in life is not to trust blindly and completely. It's to know the difference between a lack of trust because of fear and a lack of trust because of untrustworthiness. If it's the latter, then you have to ask yourself who or what are you really not trusting? Most of the time the answer is you're really not trusting yourself to respond appropriately when something proves itself untrustworthy or unreliable. If, instead, you're checking in repeatedly because of fear and not finding anything untoward, it might be time to ask if the one who can't be trusted is you. 

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