Friday, October 21, 2011

10/22/11-10/23/11—Gaining Dominion Over Your Life

Weekend Reading: Two of Wands from the Haindl. Dominion. This weekend consider the things you've achieved in your career, family and life. For many of us, the hard work has been done. Now consider how it all serves your soul. Once you have a foundation set in your life, see how you can make adjustments to increase the service your life does to your soul. Bring a greater sense of grace and reverence into the details of your day. Find ways to turn your thoughts into healings, your words into gifts and your movements into prayers. Over the next two days, remind yourself to be more conscious of the things you do automatically and raise them to a level of reverence and service to the soul. Only through conscious choice can we have dominion over our lives and only through conscious care can we have dominion over our souls.

Thursday, October 20, 2011


There is no entry for Friday, October 21. Technical difficulties. Sorry!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

10/20/11—Setting Priorities

Today's Draw: Three of Cups from the Infinite Visions. Do you feel like your priorities are in order? Do you give proper attention to all the areas of your life that feed you? Or do you find yourself placing priority on things that don't fuel your heart?

The Three of Cups is about dancing, joyfulness and frivolity. It's a valuable reminder that life isn't always about work.

It's kind of sad that we need that kind of reminder, but we do. Too often we put everything at a lower priority than work. So whatever leftover energy we have at the end of the day, we dole out to the other areas of our, friends, ourselves. Kind of screwed up when you think of it in those terms, huh?

Every once in a while, we need to assess our priorities and see where we stand, making changes along the way. And we need to do this consciously, because we get into "normal" routines. While those routines may be normal, though, are they sane? Do they make sense in the context of the life you WANT to live? And, if not, when will you set routines that make sense in that context?

Tonight I met a couple of ladies in their 70s. They have their set lives doing whatever they do, but every once in a while they leave the husbands and other responsibilities behind for what they call their "Thelma and Louise" trips. They hang out together all the time. They're best friends and live close to each other. They don't have to take trips together. But they take these weekends to nurture and honor this side of their lives that much more.  

How many of us "simply can't" do a trip like that in order to make time for something that, when you really think about it, holds less value in your heart...or monopolizes your heart as though it's the only thing that matters? It's time to see how you portion up your energy. Work isn't a bad thing. But it's not the only thing. And every so often it doesn't hurt to check in and ask yourself why you really think you're here.

10/19/11—Mourning a Loved One

Today's Draw: The Seven of Vessels from the Wildwood Tarot. Have you ever lost someone or something and found yourself being distracted from mourning? Is there anything special you did to mourn someone that you'd like to share? And do you find yourself speaking more of how someone died than you do about how they lived?

Traditionally this card is about choice and, perhaps, having more choices than you can manage. But in the Wildwood, the card bears the word "mourning" and is about allowing the necessary time for recovery.

It's odd that this card came up tonight because I just had a long conversation with someone about the circumstances around my father's death and how they affected mourning. As I've mentioned here before, my father was murdered. And when something like that happens there's a series of events that sort of screw with the natural process of mourning.

There's the search and apprehension of the killer, if you're so lucky. There's the investigation prior to trial. And there's trial. And then, if there are extenuating circumstances like those that exited in my father's death, there are other investigations and trials.

In all, there were three court cases involving my father's murderer. We were lucky. They all took place within a year's time. That's not always the case. Sometimes it could take years. And the thing is, from one phase to another, from one case to another, you're holding your breath, focused more on obtaining justice than on mourning. You get caught up in the elements of the "case", rather than on the death of a loved one.

Before you know it, a year's gone by and you haven't properly mourned. And it's kind of like the envelope for mourning has closed, because they've been gone a year. You're already used to them not being around. You've shed tears, but you've also been distracted. Your ability/opportunity to mourn the person "normally" becomes one more thing the murderer took when they took your loved one's life. It's just an interesting take to consider for those of you who have lost loved ones in more traditional ways.

One of the weird things about the death of a loved one—and this is true in pretty much any circumstance—is that we tend to talk about their death more than their life. Have you ever noticed that? People live 40, 60, 80 years and we focus on a few minutes, hours, days of their lives. I think it's a lot like the mourning thing I was discussing earlier in one sense—the sense that something distracts you from what is really important—the loss of a living, breathing, three-dimensional being in our lives.

If we focus on their death, we don't have to focus on the part that really mattered...their life. In some ways, missing out on the normal process of my father's death could be considered a gift. There was so much other-worldly crap going on, so many other details to sort out, that the actual loss was pushed aside. It's like if you had a migraine headache and someone punched you really hard in the arm, your attention might go to the arm and you might forget the migraine, even if only for a second.

Anyway, I think we do things like this to cope. It's so much less invested to say "she died of cancer" than to say "she had a beautiful voice and used to sing around the house all the time." You don't miss the "dying of cancer", but you do miss the singing.

So, I happened to pull the card about mourning just when I thinking about it tonight. Those wacky tarot cards! And these are my thoughts. What are yours?

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

10/18/11—Holding on too Tightly

Today's Draw: Three of Swords from Twilight Realm, A Tarot of Faery. Are you holding on too tightly to something right now? Do you think holding on tightly is helping the situation? How might you better manage the situation to your advantage?

The Three of Swords is about quarreling and heartbreak and separation. It's one of those cards you don't want to see come up in a reading. Usually you see three swords puncturing a heart. But here we see a dragon so ferociously and selfishly guarding it's possessions that it drives its dragon partner away. 

At one time or another, I think most of us have been guilty of holding on to someone or some idea so tightly that we end up pushing others away. Maybe we're afraid of losing our mate, so we become overly vigilant. We limit their freedom. We hold on too tightly....even become irrational. Which makes our mate want to flee. Or we treat a child that way. Or maybe we're afraid of losing money, so we become miserly and make everything about money. 

Whenever we hold on too tightly, we close ourselves off to others and to opportunity. Worse, we create the very thing we're afraid of happening. I know many years back I did that with a boyfriend. I was so afraid of losing him that I behaved in a manner that pushed him away. Now, in this particular case, it was a blessing...haha...but too often we hold on tightly to things that aren't even ours. Another person does not "belong" to you, regardless of how long you've been married. A child doesn't "belong" to you just because you're its parent. And money needs to circulate. The more you hold on to it, the less new money will come into your grasp, primarily because you're focused on keeping, rather than making. 

I once heard a metaphor that I found very helpful. Whatever it is that you want to hold on to, pretend it's a wet bar of soap. Hold too tightly and it will pop out of your hands. Hold too loosely and it will slip off your hand. But hold with just the right pressure and the soap is stable. Then, of course, there's the whole "if you love something set it free" thing. 

Fear of loss is something we all have from time to time. And it is never attractive to others. And it never feels good to you. It feels manic and desperate. We all recognize when we're doing it. And the best thing to do at that time is to step back, take a breath and remember that there are some things you just can't control. Like other people and the decisions they make. And that God always brings us what we need in the moment. That may include losing something you want to hold on to. But God only empties your hands in order to fill it with other joys. 

The ironic thing about fear of loss is that it blocks us from ever having anything better. And if you think the thing you're holding on to so tightly is "better", think again. Because the dynamic is flawed if your knuckles are white from holding on. In that situation, the fear of loss owns you. And you can't be happy when the fear of loss owns you. You can only truly be happy when you're free of fear...and that includes fear of what is to come. 

Let the universe do it's work. If something is slipping through your fingers, it's probably because the universe has a really cool miracle planned for you. Turn away from the fear and turn toward God, in life and in yourself.

Just as a side note, the crappy photo of the dragon card above makes a good time for me to apologize to the tarot artists of the world for the crappy photos I take of their artwork. Sorry. No scanner. On the upside, nobody's going to make a bootleg copy of your deck off my pics. So that's good. ;)

Monday, October 17, 2011

10/17/11—Changing Your Mind

Today's Draw: Seven of Pentacles from the Prairie Tarot. Have you reviewed and reevaluated lately? What areas of your life are working and what areas aren't? What would you change?

The Seven of Pentacles represents that moment when your work is done. You've planted, hoed, weeded, watered and now there's nothing left to do but just wait for harvest time. It's a time of reward, focus and of nurturing your dream. This is a good time. The hard work is over. You can think back on everything with pride.

The Seven of Pentacles can also represent a time of reflection, where you survey what you've done and evaluate and/or reevaluate. What have you done right? What could you do differently next time? Maybe we've done everything right and don't need to change a thing. But we can check in and see. This isn't a time to be critical. You should recognize and enjoy the rewards of what you've accomplished. But if you see room for improvement or see something you could have done differently, note it.

I recently looked over the past year of my life. I wrote my first book proposal and got a publisher. Then I wrote a book. I continue to do this blog (which started on Facebook more than a year ago) and added pictures to the entries and consolidated everything on a blogspot site. I became a professional tarot reader and started reading at a local metaphysical store. And I also had a pretty solid year in my REAL job as an advertising copywriter.

Looking over all of this, I was pretty satisfied with my year, seeing as how if you looked at any previous year of my life, I would have spent most of my time sitting on my butt doing nothing. So I've been pretty productive.

Maybe a little too productive. I miss weekends. So in my reevaluation I decided to give up reading at the metaphysical/witchy store. I need my Sundays back. I'll still read professionally when people email me and ask for readings and I intend to pursue a new direction with that soon anyway. But I'll be spending my Sundays at home. Moving forward, I'll continue on at the shop once a month by leading their tarot meetups and teaching classes. 

In the more personal areas of my life, I like the way my friends and doggie family situation is going, so no changes there. But I could use some changes in my love life. I was recently shown how some of my thoughts about romance have blocked me from receiving it. So I'll make some changes there, too. 

I guess what it all comes down to is that, even if you're doing fine, you might find some things to change. Conversely, even if you could use some changes, you may choose to stay the same. Just take the time to review now and again, because when you pull back to see the big picture, you might see some opportunities for more happiness and joy. And that can't be so bad.

(Sorry for this one being so much later than usual. I went to bed early last night and slept like a rock. Sleep is good!)