10/6/12-10/7/12—Saying No, Nuh Uh, No Way

Weekend Reading: Throat Chakra from Chakra Affirmation Cards by Mary Phelan, co-host of Telepathic TV. The throat chakra is about speaking up for yourself and standing up for yourself. And the affirmation on this card says, "It is safe for me not to act, not to engage in anything that is not on my path." So take those words to heart this weekend. You don't have to do it. You don't have to decide it. You don't have to say yes. The sky won't fall if you do what's right for you this weekend. You're not obligated to do anything you don't want to. When you think of whoever or whatever may be putting pressure on you, they're only focusing on their needs and their path. So that makes it ok for you to focus on yours. Try it for the weekend and see how it feels. Sometimes doing what's right for someone else's path also serves your own. But for all those times it doesn't, just say no. 


If you like these cards, you can get them at telepathictv.com. They're prettier than this. To begin with, they're white. And they don't have a computer screen reflecting in them. But hurry. They're in limited supply. You can also follow the links to watch Telepathic TV online. 

10/5/12—Building the Life Force

Today's Draw: Umiarkowanie (Temperance) from the Tarot Maroon. Is there someone or some situation in your life that drains you of your life force? What unfinished business keeps that situation in your life? What do you suppose it is healing within you?

I pulled this EXACT card just a little over a month ago. And in that entry I spoke about how my dog, Magick Moonbeam, comes to me to heal her hiccups with my reiki energy. And I spoke about my other dog, Kizzie, is a healing source for me...instantly calming me when I dig into his abundant fur. 

But today I officially became the mommy of a third dog, Mystic, aka Manic Mystic, aka Buckshot Annie. And I wonder which way this will go...will I be healing for her? Or will she be healing for me. 

The truth is, it will probably be a little bit of both. Because that's what Temperance is...a balance. A give and take. The hummingbird in the picture nourishes itself on the nectar of the flower, then flies off with the flower's pollen to pollinate another flower. Both receive life force from the other in one way or another. 

While it's easy to see how a doggie and mommy receive life force from each other, sometimes it's hard to see this at work with the humans in our lives. I mean, it's easy when the relationship is good and healing. And with relationships that aren't, we can easily see how they suck the life force out of us. What we don't easily see is how, even when a relationship is draining, it's pulling us forward and ultimately aiding in our healing. 

It's all in how you look at it. The hummingbird is taking from the flower, draining it of the nectar it has spent a lot of its energy accumulating. But it accumulated the nectar to attract the bird so the bird could spread its seed. We often do that with others. We have them in our lives to serve a certain purpose, even if we can't always see it. Sometimes it's a human, ego-driven purpose and sometimes it's a soul-based spiritual purpose. Then, when the exchange has completed its value, like the flower, it will wither. But it will have created something new in us in the process.

Whether it's a human or a job or some other situation, it's not just there to drain you. It's there to heal you. Viewed through a spiritual lens, EVERYTHING in life is there to nourish or heal you. The mistake we make is standing in its way by whining about it all the time and making it more painful than it needs to be...haha. 

I mean, look back on your life and you'll see where everything has all been a process of growth and renewal that you, eventually, became grateful for. Whatever person or situation you're facing now will be the same. 

10/4/11—Moving On Without Turning Back

Today's Draw Classic*: The Eight of Shells from the Fishy Tarot by Beth Seilonen. Is it time for you to move on in some area of your life? Can you give up the comfort of the known and surrender to the unknown? Or are perfectly happy camping out where you are right now?

NOTE: I picked this at random as a repeat post, but I think it works in nicely with what we've been talking about this week. :) 

The Eight of Shells (Cups) talks about walking away without turning back. It's time to leave a situation that is no longer bearing fruit. Time to move out of our comfort zone, surrender to life's cycles and move forward in our evolution. This is a card of letting go, similar to others we've seen in the past week, but with its own unique thrust. 

Usually the way this card is depicted, the person walking away is trudging or of solemn stance. And in this card, as you can see, the little fishy is belly up (heehee). Often times, this card will refer to leaving a romantic or relationship in which you've done all you could. Or it could be about leaving the predictable and comfortable cycle you're in to reach for something new. Or it could also signal that every last ounce of fight or energy is gone from you in a particular dynamic.

But this departure doesn't have to be a sad thing. As tarot folks know, the very next card in this story is a happy, happy wish card—one of success and accomplishment. So why so glum, chum? You're moving on to a better place! You may not know that now, but at least make space for the possibility of that in your heart. The universe has always has your back before. 

Another part of what I like about this card is that, when the fishy was with his shells, he was in a sort of underwater valley or trough where the current couldn't get to him. And now he's surrendered to floating up into the flow and go where the current takes him. Which brings me back to "walking away without turning back". Looking back and maintaining attachments, is not letting go. Letting go means Letting. Go. Complete surrender. Our finny friend isn't belly up because he's dead or even dead inside. He's just surrendering and keeping his eyes toward the light. 

This all makes me think of when I quit smoking 8 years ago. I had struggled for years to quit. I justified my addiction. I lived in denial. I made excuses. I fed my victimhood and helplessness. But it wasn't until I made a *decision*...a decision to walk away and never indulge my destructive behavior anymore...that I quit. And you know what? All of a sudden, quitting was easy. People always say you can't quit until you're ready. And I'll add to that and say you can't quit until you're ready to never smoke again. Non-smokers might not see the distinction, but smokers will. Quitting means never smoking again, just as walking away means never turning back again.

There's nothing wrong with camping out in the comfortable valleys of life. But the only way to progress is to leave it all behind and surrender to the risky and unknown. To answer my own questions, there are a couple of growth areas I'm ready to surrender to right now, and one comes in the realm of emotion, requiring me to break camp in a spot I've been clinging to for a very long time. So, tell me: Is it time for you to break camp, too?

*Adapted from a post originally written on 11/30/11

10/3/12—Being Caught in a Holding Pattern

Today's Draw: Hanging Man from the Sirian Starseed Tarot. Do you feel like you're in a holding pattern in some aspect of your life? Are you having a hard time being patient? And is it driving you CRAZY!!??

Usually known as the Hanged Man, the Hanging Man, like the stilled pendulum, is potential energy disengaged or at rest. It's time to pause and look at things from a fresh perspective. 

This is something I need very much right now. And the good thing is that I'm going to have some of it next week. I have a terrible habit of waiting too long to take time away from work. In my entire professional career, I've never had more than a week off at a time, and I've never had more than two weeks in a year. Plus, the last couple of times I've been away, I've had someone else with me, which doesn't count as a vacation. Anyway, I'm self employed so I can do what I want, but more often than not, I find myself working. 

Between menopausal hormones, a pretty busy workload, a new dog with issues and my epic struggle between myself and what's good for my health, this past couple of weeks has really been kicking my ass. Hell, the last six months has been kicking my ass, what with Kizzie's surgery and my brother's death. I work my regular job, write this blog every night, teach 2-3 weekends a months and am writing one book, while working on the proposal for another. It's not that I don't have the time. I have the time. It's just sometimes I don't have the shoulders to carry it all. Right this minute I don't have the shoulders. 

So I need the rest. But there's also another aspect of the Hanged Man that's not so appealing to me right now. And that's about being in a holding pattern....in a place where you want and need change, but you can't manage it right now. I feel like I'm there, too. Pulled by many muses, knowing which I want to answer, but still answering to ones that no longer hold my heart instead. This is one of those things I want the time to consider from a fresh perspective. And I can't do it when I've got the new dog, the classes, the work and the everything else to attend to. 

It's just too fricking LOUD all up in my head right now. Maybe when I hang upside down, all the noise will fall out. Or maybe I'll just manage yet another aspect of the Hanged Man's qualities—patience. The patience and, dare I say, wisdom to allow things to unfold in the right way and the right time. 

If the shoe were on the other foot and I were one of you, I'd be telling you to be grateful to the universe because clearly it's in the process of answering your prayers. And sometimes some crazy-making has to happen in the interim. So just hold the vision and know that magic is being made on your behalf. 

So, whatever. I'm going to try to practice what I preach. But tonight I'm going to roll my eyes and stick out my tongue while I do it. Just because. ;)

10/2/12—Taking Care of Yourself First

Today's Draw Classic*: Six of Coins from the Raven's Fool Tarot. Do you tend to give all your energy to others and end up being left with none for yourself? Do you ever ask yourself why you, metaphorically speaking, put the oxygen mask on everyone else before you put it on yourself? And are you so depleted and fed up that you're finally ready to do something about it?

First off, I don't know how old this deck is, but it's new to me. A lot of people will enjoy the raven imagery. And the cards are sort of square-ish, printed on high quality paper stock. It's self-published and not expensive. You can purchase it at http://www.ravensfool.com/ 

OK, now that I've taken care of the tarot geeks (heehee), the Six of Coins is about giving and receiving. Often this card will come along when you're either the recipient of someone's generosity or you're the generous one. 

I've talked to a number of friends recently about a nuance of this topic and I know it's quite common, especially in the spiritual realm, but we all need to learn to both give and receive. Too many of us give—and, too often, we give to people who deplete us. If we imagine that two people come together to create a balance between them, then the more of a selfless giver you are, the more you'll attract energy suckers who don't return the energy. The more of an energy sucker you are, the more you'll find compulsive givers. And the more in balance you are, the more you're going to attract others in balance. 

Having been an over-giver myself (as well as having be the energy sucker), I can say that giving too much can be rooted in self esteem issues. We think the more we give, the more people will like us or the better they'll think of us. And we want to be liked and admired. And even though we feel we give freely, we usually end up feeling anywhere from slightly bitter to enormously bitter about the people who take, take, take and give nothing in return. But because we give for reasons other than purely to give, no strings attached, we bring this upon ourselves, as well as the exhaustion and health issues that go with it. 

Another side to this coin is that over-givers usually have a hard time receiving, too. People try to give to us, but we don't let them. Or we expect them to give tit for tat and we don't recognize the other ways they give. If any of this behavior sounds familiar to you, you need to ask yourself what truly is your motivation for giving? Because this behavior is holding you back from reaching an important turn on your path. 

Call it learning to say no. Call it learning to receive. Call it allowing others to give in the way they need to give. Or call it telling the slimy energy suckers to fark off. Call it what you will, but it's an important element of your self care. Have I ended or moved away from friendships over this? Yes. Do I have energy suckers in my life right now? Yes. But the difference is that now my boundaries are such that I protect myself from these people. I say no. I distance myself from them so they don't get the idea they *can* take liberties. I'm willing to risk seeming "rude" by not giving them the attention they demand. And if I say yes when I really want to say no, I apologize for changing my mind and change my yes to a no. Even if it pisses them off. Also, when I do say yes, I make certain it's something I can give freely without expecting anything in return. 

It's not just about giving "things", either. It's also about people who just drain you of your energy in whatever way. I used to feel guilty or bad for cutting off friendships like that. But I don't anymore. They find people to hang on to for their own survival. And I find a way to extricate them for mine. Trust me, they'll find someone else to feed them. Or they'll move on and advance on their own path. Neither of their choices, however, are your business or for you to worry about.

Most of you know me as a nice, kind, compassionate person. And I am. You can be that way without playing host to parasites. It just takes standing up for yourself and taking responsibility for your own path. You can't move forward when others, who are not interested in growing and changing, are clinging to you and holding you back. You just can't. And your primary responsibility is to yourself. And I stand by that position, even if you're married and have children who are this way. Being committed to a relationship doesn't mean giving up your boundaries. Stick to your guns enough and they'll learn a more equitable way of getting your "yes". 

I know all this sounds tough. The biggest misunderstanding about spiritual people who choose to walk a path of compassion, faith and growth is that we're weak. Too nice. The reality is we're strong and firm enough to set the boundaries we need to set in order to focus on moving forward on our paths. We're strong enough to be compassionate and kind without being a patsy. To know how to fuel ourselves without depleting others. To be so "selfish" as to show the same loving kindness to ourselves that we extend to others. To give others the freedom and privilege of taking responsibility for their own paths. And to risk losing a person we care about, but who is nonetheless a parasite, in order to take responsibility for our own. 

Let them think you're a "meanie". Let them shout it to the rooftops. And while they're throwing their tantrum quietly, calmly walk toward the people who understand the difficulty of the choices you've made to take your soul to the next level.

*From a post originally written on 10/6/11.

10/1/12—Carrying Hierophant Energy

Today's Draw: The Hierophant from the Margarete Petersen Tarot. Do you consider yourself religious or spiritual or both? What do you see as the distinction between spirituality and religion? Do you feel you embody the spirit of the Hierophant?

In many tarot decks this card is represented by a priest of some sort. In fact, in some decks the name of this card is The Pope. So the meaning of the card lends itself to traditional, even dogmatic, teachings of the church. It can also speak to the ceremonies performed by priests, such as weddings and baptisms. For the most part, it's a card of conformity, suggesting a relationship with god based on scripture. 

But that's not really how I read it. More often than not, I read this card to be more about spirituality than religion...more about the relationship you have with god based on your own knowing. That's how I see the difference between spirituality and religion. It's all in your point of reference. If you're learning about god from scripture and traditional teachings, it's religion. If you're learning from within—from your personal relationship with god—it's spirituality.

This particular Hierophant card is non-traditional and it seems to align with the way I prefer to tread this card. It shows a mystical kind of creature working its way through a mysterious room using light that seems to emanate from the palm of his hand. 

The tarot people out there are probably thinking about The Hermit card right now, which is about separating yourself from life to seek within. The guy in that card sets off into nature with a lantern, much like in this image. And that parallel makes sense to me because we search within to find our own higher self. And we search within to find our spiritual version of god. 

Some would say our higher self and god are one in the same. And the progression that happens between the Hierophant, card #5 and the Hermit, card #9 is that the search for god shifts from looking outside of you to know him/it to looking inside you. 

When you see god as being inside you, you begin to accept that everything that happens serves god. And everything that happens serves your highest good, too. God isn't doing something TO you...he's doing something FOR you. That's part of the shift. It's hard to see that when you're standing in the middle of a crap sandwich, but understanding it and trusting it would save you a lot of suffering. Which is one of the things the book for this deck says about the Hierophant...that it's about transforming suffering into knowing.

When we look back on the pains and losses of our lives, we see how everything led to the person we are today. And chances are we wouldn't trade even the worst of those happenings for the lessons and growth we got from them. The things we would change are probably ones we're still so emotionally tied to that we can't see the value in them. Life has taught us this lesson about how everything that happens to us has divine reasons over and over again. Yet every time we're in the midst of crisis, we doubt it.

Hierophant energy is about transforming suffering into knowing before the suffering takes hold. It's about trusting in god's wisdom enough to not question it every time we don't like the way it looks. It's about understanding that crappy things don't happen to you to make you victim. Rather they happen to you because god or the universe loves you enough to give you the information and opportunity you need to move closer to source. 

Suffering is a choice you make based on your separation from source. Understanding is a choice you make based on your union with it.