10/3/12—Being Caught in a Holding Pattern

Today's Draw: Hanging Man from the Sirian Starseed Tarot. Do you feel like you're in a holding pattern in some aspect of your life? Are you having a hard time being patient? And is it driving you CRAZY!!??

Usually known as the Hanged Man, the Hanging Man, like the stilled pendulum, is potential energy disengaged or at rest. It's time to pause and look at things from a fresh perspective. 

This is something I need very much right now. And the good thing is that I'm going to have some of it next week. I have a terrible habit of waiting too long to take time away from work. In my entire professional career, I've never had more than a week off at a time, and I've never had more than two weeks in a year. Plus, the last couple of times I've been away, I've had someone else with me, which doesn't count as a vacation. Anyway, I'm self employed so I can do what I want, but more often than not, I find myself working. 

Between menopausal hormones, a pretty busy workload, a new dog with issues and my epic struggle between myself and what's good for my health, this past couple of weeks has really been kicking my ass. Hell, the last six months has been kicking my ass, what with Kizzie's surgery and my brother's death. I work my regular job, write this blog every night, teach 2-3 weekends a months and am writing one book, while working on the proposal for another. It's not that I don't have the time. I have the time. It's just sometimes I don't have the shoulders to carry it all. Right this minute I don't have the shoulders. 

So I need the rest. But there's also another aspect of the Hanged Man that's not so appealing to me right now. And that's about being in a holding pattern....in a place where you want and need change, but you can't manage it right now. I feel like I'm there, too. Pulled by many muses, knowing which I want to answer, but still answering to ones that no longer hold my heart instead. This is one of those things I want the time to consider from a fresh perspective. And I can't do it when I've got the new dog, the classes, the work and the everything else to attend to. 

It's just too fricking LOUD all up in my head right now. Maybe when I hang upside down, all the noise will fall out. Or maybe I'll just manage yet another aspect of the Hanged Man's qualities—patience. The patience and, dare I say, wisdom to allow things to unfold in the right way and the right time. 

If the shoe were on the other foot and I were one of you, I'd be telling you to be grateful to the universe because clearly it's in the process of answering your prayers. And sometimes some crazy-making has to happen in the interim. So just hold the vision and know that magic is being made on your behalf. 

So, whatever. I'm going to try to practice what I preach. But tonight I'm going to roll my eyes and stick out my tongue while I do it. Just because. ;)