Friday, November 8, 2013

11/9/13-11/10/13—Steadying As She Goes

Weekend Reading: Anchor + Woman from the Enchanted Lenormand Oracle by Caitlin Matthews. This pair asks us to do something to establish or reinforce our footing in some way. Which is to say, do something to improve your health. Or something that reinforces your reputation. Prepare your home for visitors. Sign a will. Whatever it is that would steady your world or ground your "self", do it. The anchor is a card of security and lasting stability and the woman makes that security and stability very personal and unique to you and your particular vulnerabilities. So consider what needs steadying and shoring up in your life this weekend and make a move toward it. 

Thursday, November 7, 2013

11/8/13—Reconsidering My Relationship to Music

Today's Draw: Have, Guitar, Owl and Ring from Tierney's Charms. What is your relationship to music? What kind of music do you find most healing? How often do you have music playing in the background of your life?

Today's draw was actually the second draw I made today. The first was warning us not to drink too much champagne this holiday season, lest we end up pregnant. Calculating a quick profile of my readership and their likelihood to a) get too drunk on champagne or b) have the ability to get pregnant anymore, I decided to choose again. However I share this for all the younger females who may enjoy the bubbly...just in case. 

So the way I'm reading these four is to have a commitment to my night music. And to me that's the binaural beats I sometimes listen to and/or the chakra tuning CDs. 

I don't know if this makes me unusual or not, but I think it might. I almost never listen to music. Not even in my car, though that's where I'm most likely to hear it. But I haven't played music out loud in my house for years. I rarely listen to any music for enjoyment. And 9.5 out of 10 car trips are made in total silence. 

The only exception to all of this is when I play binaural beats or my Chakra Chants CD, and I do all of that on my iPod just before dropping off to sleep. Binaural beats, if you haven't heard of them, are buzzing, sometimes discordant, sounds you listen to that are supposed to tune your brain to certain vibrations, like sleep, energy, meditation, etc. I listen, not because I have trouble sleeping, because I don't. But because I sleep deeper and better when I listen. I think spirit is telling me I waste too much time napping and should just get a better night's sleep. 

Another use of music in my life is a monthly healing session I go to that uses music to guide my subconscious thoughts. Music is a very powerful guide in those sessions. I did one two days ago and the images it evoked in my mind were extremely profound and insightful. I'm still processing what the images mean and it's like this every month. 

Personally, though, I really like the sound of silence. I had a friend many years ago that never had a moment of silence in her life. She liked to be distracted lest she actually heard herself think. She was, at the time, running from something inside her. We all have ways of doing that. But observing it in her kind of turned me off to background sound. I like to plumb my depths. And, like I said, we all have ways of avoiding ourselves when we want to. I just don't think it's healthy to avoid ourselves all the time. 

But I've been thinking about the healing aspect of music lately. There's this kid on the X Factor whose life became hobbled by Turrets Syndrome and the vocal and physical ticks that come along with it. He said that with all the medications he's been on in his life, you could combine the effect of all of them and it wouldn't be as great as the healing he's gotten from pursuing his singing and listening to music. You see this from time to time on these singing shows...people who rise up out of the limitations of their bodies and shine when they're singing. Stutters don't stutter and tickers don't tick when they're singing. 

It occurred to me that it might be time to reconsider the way I weigh music in my life. On those occasions I do play songs in my car, it brings out joy because I get to sing along and singing was one of my great loves when I was younger. I could also try playing New Age music when I'm working sometimes to see if it helps with stress or even creativity. And I do sleep better when I listen to my binaural beats. I can see how, over the years, I've formed a negative relationship with music because of how distracting it can be. But it really all depends on the music. What's your relationship to music?

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

11/7/13—Winterizing Your Soul

Today's Draw Classic*: Mabon (Justice) from the Book of Shadows Tarot. What does "being ready for winter" entail for you? Are you ready? And what do the winter months mean to you?

I didn't have it in me to a write a new post tonight, so I thought I'd search my old posts for one about fall and the coming of winter. And what do you know, the post I found was written one year ago to the day! It's like I'm a clock set to go off on fall on 11/6 every year (I write these posts the night before the date indicated). So enjoy this classic post about preparing for winter...

Mabon is the time of the Autumnal Equinox. It's the time of harvest and of preparing for winter. It's also the time when, in the myth of Demeter, that Persephone begins her descent back into the underworld until Spring. This is a time of forgiveness and of preparing our souls for the long, dark months ahead. 

Back before electricity and other modern conveniences, the work you completed now determined whether or not you'd live through the winter. Did you make enough hay? Chop enough wood? Store enough food? 

This time of year we still "winterize" our properties. For me, that means trimming the azaleas, mulching leaves and doing a winter weeding. I'm not much for gardening, but I manage to do it every year. And we sort of mentally prepare ourselves for the months ahead. The darker months can be depressing. One of my online friends lives in Alaska and they go with barely no sunlight for a good couple of months!

Personally, I like winter. I like the snow. I like the cold. While many will spend less time outside in the winter months, I'll be out there more. Certainly more than I'm outside in summer. There have been times when I've laid outside on the hammock so long watching the snow fall that I've accumulated more than an inch of snow on me! I love to bundle up and watch the snow fall. Is it ever more quiet and peaceful than when the earth is insulated in that way?

Anyway, I've been trying to think of things I do to prepare for winter...or things I do differently. I get out the blankets, because I like a cold house. I drink more hot tea. I snuggle with the pack more. Cook more soup. I nest. I don't ever have to prepare my soul for the long, dark months ahead because it is always more than ready for the downtime...haha. 

How about you?

*Adapted from a post written on 11/7/12.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

11/6/13—Asking, Getting and Regifting

Today's Draw: Seven of Staves from the Nigel Jackson Tarot. Do you feel the life you're living today is the result of the effort you've put forth? Does it fall short in some way? And if you're in search of change, are you ready to greet it when it comes?

The Seven of Wands is a card that I usually see as a battle, but one in which you're in a good defensive position. There's no reason why you shouldn't win. Some see this as a card that means "putting your best foot forward". Although all these interpretations are shades of the same color, I'm going to go with Nigel Jackson't interpretation today because it conveniently fits my plan—"the best outcome won by one's efforts and strivings". 

Our desires are a funny thing. A few months back I asked the universe for more money and time to pursue a book I want to write. First I got the money. And that was pretty cool. And over the past month or so, things have been slowing down at work, so while I'm still doing enough work to get by, I'm also getting a day here and there with no work. Which is also good. So I have a slower schedule and I have the money to cover the slowdown. 

You'd think I'd be thrilled. And I am. But I'm also worried about the slowdown. It's slower because one of my clients has gone quiet and, I suspect, they'll remain that way for a while. So I worry. But see, the whole money thing was so I wouldn't have to worry. I have gotten "the best outcome won by one's efforts and strivings" and I don't want to blow this. I have gotten what I wanted and worrying about 6 months from now can happen just as easily three or four months from now. 

But how often do we do that? We get what we ask for and either don't like it or worry about it or it's just not enough for our grubby little head to be satisfied with. I consider myself a particularly grateful person and also a person who is really good at keeping fears like this at bay. Yet here I am. I've gotten exactly what I've asked for...exactly what I wanted...and I'm looking the gift horse in the mouth. 

Also think about all the times we got what we asked for, then realized we should have asked differently. One time I asked for a man who would make me laugh and send tingles down my spine (in a sexy way). And I got him. But he was also a philandering, verbally abusive SOB. That's actually when I learned the true meaning of "be careful what you ask for". 

The universe is a very tricky thing when it comes to creating the things you ask for. My experience is that it always delivers. But you have to deliver, too. Right now the universe is giving me what I asked for and now it's my turn to deliver by not creating drama where there isn't any. It's my job to enjoy and utilize the gift I asked for in a responsible way. And back with the old bf, it was my job to take responsibility for what I asked for and, instead of just taking it and making do with it, thank the universe, then regift the man and learn to ask better next time. 

I think the Seven of Staves/Wands is pretty much what we always get—the best outcome based on our efforts. We might not always like the outcome, but instead of pointing the finger of blame at the universe, we need to look to ourselves and what we asked for and how we greeted the gift when we got it. I know I've wasted a lot of opportunities like the one I have now by being afraid or depressed because of the very slowdown I've asked for. 

It's valuable for all of to look at where we are right now and take stock of how it's "the best outcome based on our strivings." If we don't like what we see, we can regift, ask again and greet the new opportunity with the proper spirit, based on what we now know. 

Today's Seven of Wands clearly shows the enemy we're fighting. Most Seven of Wands cards don't show the enemy. They are far below and we have no idea whether they're human or beast. Right now we have the opportunity to see what we're up against, whether we're looking down from our turret or straight ahead in the mirror. 

Monday, November 4, 2013

11/5/13—Setting Something Free

Today's Draw: IV of Coins from the Frau Grand Duchess Tarot. Are you holding on to something of value right now? Is the value as relevant today as it was when you first started holding on? And what space is that thing or idea occupying within you and blocking you from achieving?

First, just some random thoughts. I'm not a fan of collage decks, but I do like this one. I think it's all the retro stuff. So check it out. And second, someone had recently pointed out to me that most clocks don't use "IV" to signify 4. Instead, they use "IIII". Of course, IV is the proper way of doing 4 in Roman numerals, but apparently on clocks and wristwatches, IIII is the preferred way. For no apparent reason, except that that's the way it's always been done. 

In a way, that kind of relates to today's post. The Four of Coins is about holding on to money and possessions. It's the card of the miser. But money isn't the only thing we hold on to. We hold on to outdated dreams. We hold on to hope. We hold on to status. In fact, there's a lot we hold on to that falls under the purview of the Four of Coins. 

A few months back I was offered a publishing opportunity. It was very flattering. And it was perfect for me. I was to come up with a proposal and, if the proposal was approved, I would move forward. So it wasn't a definite thing or anything I was paid to do. It was a "maybe". And it was my option. To me, it was a commitment I had agreed to. 

Anyway, I noodled over it for months, never getting anywhere. Nobody was in any hurry for it, so I continued to noodle. But then it started occurring to me, "why am I not totally inspired by this?" Still, I held on to the opportunity, because it was flattering and it was cool and I was the perfect person to do it. But the truth is, though I liked being thought of in that way, it's not where my heart was. So I finally declined. And, thankfully, my decision was taken well. 

But the point is that sometimes we hold on to something for the wrong reasons. And while we're holding on, that thing is occupying space in our mind and our world. It blocks the way of something better that might come in. The 47 year old's dream of becoming a prima ballerina might stand in the way of learning ballroom or something more suited to who she is today. The hope that lost love might come back occupies the space that someone new might occupy—your hope marks you unavailable, even though you're looking. The crap you're holding on to in your spare bedroom (I'm talking about me now, haha) literally occupies the space and keeps it from becoming a retreat space. 

Anytime you hold on to something, whether it's an idea or something tangible, it stops the flow of something new entering your life. And that's what the Four of Coins wants us to know. Letting go of a dream, for example, can be viewed as a failure or it can be viewed as an exciting new beginning, filled with fresh hope and excitement. Letting go also doesn't mean you'll never have the thing you were holding on to too tightly. It just means you're allowing for other possibilities. And my experience tells me that when you let go, something more perfect is likely to fill the space. But nothing will fill the space if you keep holding on. 

I've written here before about manifestation, detachment, letting go of can search those terms on my site if you want to know more. But keeping the flow of abundance and love and everything else we want to have in our lives going strong, means letting go of our attachment to everything. Truth is, there is nothing that can't be grabbed from us, no matter how hard our grip. And sometimes our grip can suffocate and strangle the very thing we want in our lives. So, as the saying goes, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you (or stays), it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was." 

This actually dovetails quite nicely with yesterday's reading, because our "gingerbread man" could be something we're holding on to. Life is meant to flow freely. So think about what you're holding on to...ideas, beliefs, money, dreams, perceptions, etc...and release your grip. You may be very pleasantly surprised at what takes its place. 

Sunday, November 3, 2013

11/4/13—Changing Bad Habits

Today's Draw: Death/Transformation from the Dark Crystal Illuminated Tarot Glitter Baby, accompanied by Tree and Gingerbread Man from Tierney's Charms. Do you have a health concern that you're kind of in denial about? Is there some monkey you've been carrying around on your back for too long now? Is it time to do something about it?

Today's message is pretty clearly for me. But perhaps you have something to relate it to. Death is all about change and transformation. And he's riding in to remind me to transform my heath, specifically as far as sweets go. 

See, every year around Halloween, I get this urge to get healthy and lose weight. Then around a week later, Halloween comes and I gorge on candy for days. Then I feel bad about blowing it. Then I just go back to the old routine. I hate to be such a textbook case of self sabotage. And I hate to play the negative tapes over in my head again. 

Maybe a cookie will make me feel better. 

So that's my gingerbread man. But I think most of us have a gingerbread man of one sort or another. Maybe we overspend. Or drink. Or work too much. It doesn't have to be an "addiction" either. It can just be a monkey on our back. 

You may not know this, but I happen to be an expert in monkeys on backs. I tend to over-think things, so even something as simple as going to a store I've never been to requires maps and charted routes and other research. Or it can be something large, like my AC. I have lived in my house for 13 years and I spend every summer worrying if this year will be the year my AC fails. It comes close nearly every year, but since I don't have the money to replace it, I just pay for the house calls and small fixes that keep it going. Anyway, it did finally break this summer. I could have fixed it again, but this time I had the money. So a new AC is in and the monkey is off my back.

But with every funky noise or false start my old AC would make each summer, worry would set in. And worry changes the chemicals in your brain and the negative energy makes previously healthy hormones and chemicals, just a tad toxic. And slowly these things that hang over your head can do actual physical damage to your body. 

While my doctor can measure the effects of sugar on my body over time, nobody measures the affect of worry, anxiety, fear, etc....feelings we have every day. I've had so many things in my life that I put off until it drives me crazy because I either don't know how or am afraid of making a wrong choice or whatever. Some of it I blame on my father...haha. We never had a repairman in our houses growing up. My dad could fix everything. So it's kind of burned in my mind that a repairman is absolute last resort. So I try to fix stuff sometimes and when I can't, I torture myself with all the variables of finding someone who can. And that usually leaves something broken a very long time. Then every time I pass the broken thing, it sets off the's a vicious cycle. 

So now you all know my many neuroses...haha. Clearly I don't have a neurosis about exposing my neuroses, though. Which is good, because it makes others like me feel less alone...haha. Married people can often just pass the responsibility for these things off to the spouse, but I have to handle all the new roofs, new sheds, plumbing, car inspections and other crap I am not qualified to handle by myself. And while I'm a very smart, fearless, resourceful person in some areas of my life, domestic concerns are certainly not my forte. 

So Death/Transformation with the charms come to remind us of those things that weigh upon us and the damage they can do physically and mentally. And if you have a major health concern, like my diabetes, Death comes to tell us it's time to take it by the reigns. 

Humans are really good about forgetting or denying the unpalatable parts of our life, burying them deep in our thoughts where they bother us least. But they're there, simmering and dripping their toxins, just on a less conscious level. It's time to put an end to all of this. The next card after Death in tarot's major arcana is Temperance or balance. Get rid of all of this noise and clutter inside our heads and we can reach that place of balance, both physically and mentally.