4/3/13—Contemplating A Future Life

Today's Draw: Ten of Flames in the What to Know About a Future Life position from the Margarete Petersen deck and the Deck of 1000 Spreads. What have you cleansed yourself of and purified in this lifetime? What do you think your big lesson has been in this life? And what do you think you'll have to focus on next time around?

This is something you don't think about very often, is it? For those of us who believe in past lives and future lives, the general assumption is that you evolve over lifetimes. And so we seek to improve in this lifetime, partly for our this-life benefit, but also for a future life. 

So it's an interesting thing to noodle...what have you earned absolution from in a future life, because you dealt with it in this life? And that's not to say, "I've earned to live my next life without mean people in it because there have been a lot of mean people in this life." I don't think that's how it works. But what have you HEALED in this life that no longer needs to be revisited? And can we even know?

The Ten of Flames is about cleansing and purifying. It's about healing areas of obsession and compulsion...about redeeming ourselves. It's about welcoming situations that once vexed us...not in an "I'll show you" kind of a way, but in a way that genuinely no longer pushes your buttons. When we get to that point of enlightenment about something—a deep understanding of why it's there and gratitude for its presence—we no longer have to face it again. 

This hasn't been a lifetime for me where I learn a lot about romantic love, for example. I'll probably do that in another life. In this lifetime, I don't have the patience to deal with other peoples' crap on a one-on-one, intimate basis...haha. So I don't sustain those kinds of relationships very long. I have a great respect for that ability and came from a household where I had that kind of commitment modeled for me, but it's not what I'm focused on this life. On the other hand, this *is* a lifetime where I'm learning about the solitary path and the path of the seeker. I'm also learning a great deal about how to take things less personally and how to love and accept myself, but I think I need at least one more life for those last two things. 

So it's interesting to think about. What do we NOT have to deal with in this life? And is it because we think we've healed it in another life? Or because it's waiting for a future one to take shape? I think we all learn things in a different order. So while I may have yet to learn to pull off what my parents pulled off with their "til death do you part" kind of relationship, you might be having that lesson this time around and have no idea how to be alone. 

I think I've spent many lifetimes as a lone wolf in that regard, in fact. A reliable source once told me that I had a lifetime where I had, like, a dozen children and had to raise them alone in a cabin in the woods because my partner abandoned us...haha.  That would certainly explain my aversion to children and my desire to spend this life with just dogs and the occasional male. So maybe you have some sort of "explanation" like that in your past life as to why you're choosing something unconventional this time around. It's interesting to think about. I once did a past life regression where I saw that I starved to death...again a solitary life. And perhaps that's why I overeat in this lifetime...because of the memory of that life of lack. Who knows?

Hopefully this will open up your own thinking in this regard. If we even just consider what we came into this lifetime to heal, it can help us focus on the one or two things that matter, you know? And it can also help us forgive ourselves those areas in which we just really aren't adept....areas we're scheduled to address in a future life. 

2/4/13—Learning the Outcome

Today's Draw: Wheel of Life in the Outcome position from the Margarete Petersen Tarot and the Deck of 1000 Spreads. Is there something you're anxious to know the outcome of? Do you think we ever transcend all problems, even if it takes numerous lifetimes? What do you think that looks like?

Sometimes these draws with the Deck of 1000 Spreads are so perfect that I feel paranoid that you guys are going to think I draw certain cards on purpose, just to suit my agenda. I swear I don't!!! It's all random! Really!

The reason I say that is because today is one of those "perfect answer" days. And, of course, the question or position of Outcome is what everyone wants to know—how's it going to end? 

Well, according to today's card, it isn't. The wheel is a circle with beginning and no end. It just goes round and round. And while some things in our life may come to a close and we never have to deal with them again, for our souls, the cycle is eternal. 

In the next life, we'll do the same dances with the same people, though maybe we'll be on the other side of the table next time. And we've done the dance before, only this time maybe it wasn't so tragic as last time. Or maybe it's just like it was last time, but enough of the details have changed so as to make it look different. 

The same is true in this lifetime. For example, I could say I have nicer people in my life now than 30 years ago. But that's just my perception. I had as many nice people back then, but maybe gravitated toward the more troubled souls because I was one myself. So I didn't notice the nice people. 

The wheel keeps turning and thank god it does. Because with each turn it gives us another chance to get it right. And another chance to get it wrong...but maybe we've been making the right choices long enough that the wrong choices don't even stick to us anymore. 

Just today I was thinking about two situations where "the old me" would have made a different choice than the me today. And "the old me's" choices would have served only to stress me out and make me feel bad about myself. Which doesn't mean I'll never do anything that stresses me out or makes me feel about myself. Just that, for now, I've gotten past doing it in those particular ways. Today's outcome was good, but only temporary. And the wheel turns on. 

We make progress. We lift ourselves higher. We move our souls along on their journeys. But the story is ongoing. Once we reach a certain level of enlightenment, we might get the equivalent of "rich people's problems", but we still have problems. I mean, the Dalai Lama probably sometimes tires of being adored and having people hang on his every word. Those are enlightened people's problems...haha. 

Do we ever transcend? I'd like to think we do. Some schools of thought say at a certain level of enlightenment you don't have come back to the learning planes anymore. For all we know, there are planes of learning beyond "The Earth School". It occurs to me that, even if you learn it all and do it all and become a perfect being, you'll just be bored to tears. Being content all the time is really just the same as never changing. I mean, how good can content feel when it's the only thing available to feel?

So each of us probably has something in our lives right now that we're wondering about...how's it going to end? And the answer is, it's not. If you squint really hard and soften your focus enough, you might be able to see a strange kind of comfort in that. Everything is passing. And everything comes around again. 

10/10/12—Remembering Who You Are

Today's Draw: Father of Coins from the Margarete Petersen. Do you believe there is a part of you that is part of source? Is your humanness getting in the way of hearing, seeing and answering the call of your soul? How often do you find yourself forgetting who you are?

This week's posts are all about those times we feel like we're in a holding pattern...unsure of which way is forward or unable to move forward even if we know. 

Today's card is about building empires and legacies. But one of the things the Father of Coins learns along the way is that it's not just what you build, but how you build it. If the kingdom is built on ego and the need for external power, it's built on a shaky foundation. And it will fall. But if it's built from a place of oneness and connectedness, the whole of the kingdom is there to ensure it won't fall. 

Many of us are looking to build something new in our lives...or at the very least move on from something old. As we sit in our holding pattern waiting for inspiration or energy or SOMETHING to kick us in the arse, it might help to remember who we are. 

We are an essential part of something much greater. My buds Oprah and Iyanla were talking on TV the other day and Iyanla said she believes our souls are that part of God that comes down here to inhabit a human form and take on a human personality. That's not exactly what she said, but it's what I took from it because it's also what I believe. I just hadn't parsed it in those terms before. 

From time to time I talk about this amazing energy healing/visualization appointment I have every month. Anyway, one time I was there and looking for guidance and I visualized myself ascending into the puffy whiteness of what could be considered heaven and there were a bunch of angelic beings there. It seemed I was there for a "tune up" and they tuned me up by placing their hands on my head. And then they shoved me back "down" toward earth, kind of kicking me in the arse and saying "she's so funny. She's totally forgotten who she is." 

It makes me emotional just thinking about it now. Their attitude was like I was one of them—a divine being—and they were laughing because I had so completely bought into the delusion of being separate from Source. 

There is an enduring part of me and you and everyone else that is...whatever you want to call it...source—limitless, fearless, omnipotent, divine. And in being human we learn to limit ourselves. We learn to fear. We buy into our powerlessness. That is the power of the human ego...the power to drown out the voice of our divinity. 

So if you're afraid of moving into the unknown, remember who you are. If you're thinking of limiting your vision because what you REALLY want is too ambitious, remember who you are. And if you just don't feel like such-and-such is cut out for little old you, remember who you are. Any foundation build on fear, limitation and powerlessness isn't going to stand anyway. So, as long as we're just sitting here in a holding pattern, we may as well start entertaining solutions that our soul angels would look down on in pride. 

10/1/12—Carrying Hierophant Energy

Today's Draw: The Hierophant from the Margarete Petersen Tarot. Do you consider yourself religious or spiritual or both? What do you see as the distinction between spirituality and religion? Do you feel you embody the spirit of the Hierophant?

In many tarot decks this card is represented by a priest of some sort. In fact, in some decks the name of this card is The Pope. So the meaning of the card lends itself to traditional, even dogmatic, teachings of the church. It can also speak to the ceremonies performed by priests, such as weddings and baptisms. For the most part, it's a card of conformity, suggesting a relationship with god based on scripture. 

But that's not really how I read it. More often than not, I read this card to be more about spirituality than religion...more about the relationship you have with god based on your own knowing. That's how I see the difference between spirituality and religion. It's all in your point of reference. If you're learning about god from scripture and traditional teachings, it's religion. If you're learning from within—from your personal relationship with god—it's spirituality.

This particular Hierophant card is non-traditional and it seems to align with the way I prefer to tread this card. It shows a mystical kind of creature working its way through a mysterious room using light that seems to emanate from the palm of his hand. 

The tarot people out there are probably thinking about The Hermit card right now, which is about separating yourself from life to seek within. The guy in that card sets off into nature with a lantern, much like in this image. And that parallel makes sense to me because we search within to find our own higher self. And we search within to find our spiritual version of god. 

Some would say our higher self and god are one in the same. And the progression that happens between the Hierophant, card #5 and the Hermit, card #9 is that the search for god shifts from looking outside of you to know him/it to looking inside you. 

When you see god as being inside you, you begin to accept that everything that happens serves god. And everything that happens serves your highest good, too. God isn't doing something TO you...he's doing something FOR you. That's part of the shift. It's hard to see that when you're standing in the middle of a crap sandwich, but understanding it and trusting it would save you a lot of suffering. Which is one of the things the book for this deck says about the Hierophant...that it's about transforming suffering into knowing.

When we look back on the pains and losses of our lives, we see how everything led to the person we are today. And chances are we wouldn't trade even the worst of those happenings for the lessons and growth we got from them. The things we would change are probably ones we're still so emotionally tied to that we can't see the value in them. Life has taught us this lesson about how everything that happens to us has divine reasons over and over again. Yet every time we're in the midst of crisis, we doubt it.

Hierophant energy is about transforming suffering into knowing before the suffering takes hold. It's about trusting in god's wisdom enough to not question it every time we don't like the way it looks. It's about understanding that crappy things don't happen to you to make you victim. Rather they happen to you because god or the universe loves you enough to give you the information and opportunity you need to move closer to source. 

Suffering is a choice you make based on your separation from source. Understanding is a choice you make based on your union with it.

8/6/12—Seeing Similarities

Today's Draw: Six of Flames from the Margarete Petersen Tarot. Is there a certain kind of person that you really can't abide? Do you feel powerless over the hate in this world? What, if anything, do you feel you have in common with people who commit crimes like the recent one in Wisconsin? 

Based on today's draw and recent news about seven Sikhs being killed in a temple shooting, we're going to do a week on oneness. When I say oneness, I mean the idea that we are all one. There's more to the idea of oneness, but that's what I mean to focus on this week—our connection to everything in the universe. Our similarity to everything in the universe. The idea that no one is different from us. No one is a stranger. 


The book for this deck says two things regarding this concept. First, it says this card is about "the fire of going beyond your limits and expanding your boundaries." We tend to live insulated lives around people "like ourselves". And in doing so, we nurture a "people like us" and "people not like us" mentality. It happens everywhere and it's not something I'm judging. We all do it. There are people we feel comfortable around and people we don't. 


The problem is that when we insulate ourselves too much, we tend to see the differences in people who are not part of our group, rather than the similarities. Oneness is all about seeing the similarities. So this card is asking you to go beyond your limitations and expand your circle large enough to see similarities. This could be about befriending someone of a different culture, volunteering to serve others less fortunate or attending an event you wouldn't normally attend. If there's a particular group you have issues with, really push beyond those boundaries and spend time with them...focusing on the similarities. 


The second thing the book said was "the boundaries of Not-I and I are beginning to dissolve." That's what I'm talking about. And it's not just that other humans—or even other sentient beings—are at one with you. It's everything. When you think about the spiritualities people pretty much universally admire, like Buddhism or that of Native Americans, the common denominator is respect for all things. There is nothing that is not sacred.


It's easy to say, "I'm not the problem here." But I contend you are. We all are. I don't think there's anyone in the eyeshot of my blog that has this principle mastered. Whether it's stupid people, homeless people, drug addicts, murderers, cheaters, Muslims, aboriginals, mean people—whatever—there is some group or "label" you have judgments and unflattering opinions about. Those opinions, magnified ever so slightly become fears. And those fears magnified ever so slightly become hate. Then justification for violence. Then violence. And the catch is, you are more similar to "those people" than different. But because we see the differences rather than the similarities, we support a line of thought that, down society's line, leads to this kind of tragedy.


When it comes to those whose behavior is different than yours, you nonetheless have the same *capacity* to do the things they've done. Think you could never be an addict? There but for the grace of God go you. Think you could never be a criminal? If you had been raised under different circumstances, you very well could be. Think you couldn't be mentally ill? Just one change in your chemical makeup could change all that. The line between "us" and "them" is not only thin, it's fragile. Nobody dreams these things for themselves. The are the result of minor variables that you somehow managed to skate past. You have the same capacity for that behavior as the do. It was the details in their lives that made the difference.


As for people from different cultures and religions...they have the same dreams for their children you do. They have the same love for relatives, the same need to be accepted, the same talents and dreams. When you approach others from the perspective of what's similar rather than what's different, you're walking in the footsteps of Jesus and Buddha....and love. 

Sunday morning, a congregation gathered to worship their god. Seven people were killed. Early reports said, among them, was at least one priest. I believe you have to be mentally ill to do something like that. But I think we also need to see how each of us contributes to these kinds of hate crimes. We contribute by participating in and enabling an "us" and "them" sensibility. We are more like those sihks than we realize. We are more like their killer, too. And until we, as a society, learn to embody that truth, we won't be supporting change. It has to start somewhere. It can start with me and you.

4/28/12—4/29/12—Being Mindful

Weekend Reading: Eight of Coins from the Margarete Petersen. This card asks us to be mindful this weekend. If you pay attention to even just a simple leaf, you can learn a whole story. You can know what kind of tree it belongs to. What time of year it is. How healthy the tree's nutrition system is—roots, trunk, branches and the leaves themselves. In essence, it speaks to the whole interrelatedness of tree and nature... temperatures, sunlight, soil and the animal and insect impact on that system. The people and situations in your life are just as ripe with information. Pay attention this weekend and see what stories the simplest things around you can tell.