6/21/13—Breathing In The Creative Spirit

Today's Today's Draw is special, because it's part of a Tarot Blog Hop. What that means is that, from this post, you can link to the blog before me or to the blog after me. And if you keep linking in that manner from blog to blog, you can read 24 tarot blogs, all focused around a single theme. This particular blog hop is to celebrate the summer solstice and we're supposed to share one of our gifts with you...to write about something we're good at or do something creative.

In other words, I get to go hog wild. Mix things up. Get my goof on.

You'd think I'd savor that opportunity. But you know what? I'd really rather just share some thoughts about my personal relationship with creativity in the manner to which my regular readers have become accustomed. So with that...

Today's Draw: The Lovers in the Spirit position from The Wild Unknown and the Deck of 1000 Spreads. How dependent are you on your creative spirit? If you spent your days pushing paper and had no hobbies, could you be happy? What stands between you and your creative spirit?

I nearly cried when I drew this combo. The Lovers means different things to different readers. Sometimes it speaks of soul mates. Sometimes it speaks of a choice. In the Spirit position, however, I can definitely say that the creative life is both my soul mate and my choice.

When I was young, I wanted to be a veterinarian. Then when I got a little older, I wanted to by a cytologist...a cell biologist. I wanted to clone things. Those probably sound like weird things for someone like me to want to do. They're "desk jobs"...regular jobs. Certainly there's creativity in both things. But they're weighted to left brained thinking. They were practical choices...careers I would have enjoyed and done well at. Careers my parents would have been proud for me to have. 

But then I would have forever been fated to becoming one of those people who say "oh, I could have been a writer" when they meet people who earn their living that way. Those people make my eyes roll because they make me think, "well what's stopping you?" It's not like you need special permission to start a blog or submit a manuscript. It's so easy to say "oh, I could have been a writer" when you don't know what it actually takes to sit in front of a blank page every day and fill it with words some idiot will feel a need to edit. 

So instead of choosing to sit behind a microscope, I chose to spend my life in a career where my words would be put under a microscope. On the plus side, I'm the kind of writer who gets to think up wacky ideas and have fun with my writing...an advertising copywriter. 

There was a time at the beginning of my career in advertising that I wasn't a writer. I worked in the traffic department, which is the part of an advertising agency that moves work from one department to another. So an account executive will put in an order for work and the traffic manager will distribute that work to the relevant parties. Then when the work is complete, the traffic person will move it to the next step and next, all the way to the point that it's printed or goes live. The traffic department manages the workflow of the creative and production departments.

Anyway, I liked the job and did well at it. But I was miserable inside because the writer within me was crying out for attention. I felt incomplete, like part of me was missing. As time went by, the writer was fighting to crawl out of my skin. So I found a mentor among the agency's copywriters and she would give me fake assignments to do. I then convinced the creative director to let me handle a few overflow jobs...nothing glamorous. Just stuff the writers were too busy to do. It was, in retrospect, the only time of my life that I didn't have a reliable creative outlet. And it was its own special misery in my young life. I could have started a hobby or something, I suppose. But ultimately, having that unfed hunger was good for me. It's what gave me the wherewithal to keep pushing until I got what I wanted. 

Those of us who write, generally do it because something within us has to find its way out. And we're wired to do it through words. Someone with that inside them can't do life as "oh, I could have been a writer". There's either writing or a long, slow, miserable death. 

Beyond writing, though, is the creative spirit in general. Writing alone can't satisfy it for me. So I craft. I cook. I sew. I create. That green card up in the picture is one of my creations. I invented a whole new way of creating spreads in the tarot world, the Deck of 1000 Spreads. Tarot is something I've been doing nearly as long as I've been writing. So it's one of my talents, too. And that green card is just one of four decks I created in the past year or two. Not because it brings me money. It doesn't. It gives me something of greater value. It keeps me happy to be alive. 

So this Lovers card in the Spirit position, for me, is like the dance between creativity and my own spirit. Like the geese in the picture, creativity and I are flying in unison. I love being an advertising copywriter. But it's not as glamorous as you see on TV. We're not as "in charge" as Peggy Olson or "everybody loves my ideas" as Don Draper. Being an advertising copywriter is like popping out baby after baby, only to have the majority of them rejected or deemed ugly. Only now and again does someone say, "hey that baby has potential". And that's a moment of victory—the moment when someone gets it...when someone gets YOU. 

But not even that is why I choose this path. Creativity is my oxygen. And whether or not others think I'm good at it is a minor consideration. It's in the process of creation—the process of breathing that oxygen in—that I get my reward. At a time when others my age might start counting down the years to retirement, I look forward to writing until my final breath. If nearly 1000 blog posts haven't worn me out of things to say, I'm pretty sure nothing as random as a retirement age will. :)

Want to soak up more of the creative spirit? Continue on to the next blog in the hop, written by the FABULOUS Chloe McCracken, a Daily Draw regular. Or be wacky and work your way backwards to the post before mine, created by the insightful Jordan Hoggard. Or if you're really in a hoppy mood, consult this list of all the bloggers in the circle and hop around!

6/19/13—Learning Lessons the Hard Way

ATTN: Tomorrow's Daily Draw will be one of those "special" posts I do for the blog group I'm a member of. So those of you accustomed to reading tomorrow's post the night before, I will be posting Friday's post at 1am Eastern on Friday (rather than at 8pm on Thursday)

Today's Draw Classic*: Three of Swords in the Lesson position from the Legacy of the Divine by Ciro Marchetti and the Deck of 1000 Spreads by me. When you think on the big lessons in your life, do you remember more of the ones you learned through pain more profoundly? Or do you remember more of the lessons you learned through happy moments more profoundly? Is there something you can learn from that?

It's interesting that this combo came up, because I've been thinking lately about the lessons we learn from heartbreak. If you can't tell by the tarot card (and the spectacular way my spread card makes the fractured heart on the cheek pop) that's what this card is about. 

I often debate the value of the lessons we learn from loss vs. the value of the lessons we learn through victory. I will never misspell the word "committee" ever again because it caused me to lose a spelling bee in third grade. I cried just like the girl in the picture there. 

Looking back over my life, the most valuable lessons I've learned have been the tough ones. That doesn't mean we don't learn from the good stuff because we do. Doing something right the first time reinforces that behavior or system and so you repeat it to success time and time again. But when that's the case, it just becomes the way you do it....a repeatable process that ends in success. Not so much a lesson you've learned, but something you figured out on your own. 

But when you learn something the hard way, it becomes somehow more meaningful, more profound. We define it more like a lesson than just a "way". It seems like the higher the price, the more meaningful the lesson, the less likely we are to screw with that particular thing again. Some lessons we just have to learn that way, whether through our own obstinance, lack of awareness or whatever. 

Can you think of a lesson you learned in the past that you didn't need to learn? Can you think of a painful experience you've ever had that didn't bring lessons? I can't. Pain seems to write on us in ways that both knock us to our knees in tears and then, after time, to our knees in gratitude. It is both toxin and tonic. It poisons and purifies. 

The universe never brings us something in error. If we're experiencing pain, it's needed on our path. If we're on a winning streak, it's needed on our path. Everything is brought to us in love, as a means to lift us higher. That's sometimes hard to see in the moment, but always visible in retrospect. The hardest lesson of all—the one that causes the most self-inflicted pain—is to learn is to trust in that. 

*From 3/22/13

6/11/13—Making Love Your Crowning Influence

Today's Draw: King of Cups in the Crowning Influences position from the Art of Life Tarot and the Deck of 1000 Spreads. Do you find yourself choosing things over love? Could you be making more choices that lead to love than you're making now? What is the crowning influence in your life?

After about 1000 Daily Draw posts, I consider myself an expert on the one-card draw. And the Art of Life is my absolutely favorite one-card draw deck. I think part of it is because it's a non-traditional deck, part of it is the quotes (I'm a word person, after all) and part of it is the very interesting way it has of making me think. 

Crowning Influences are influences we're usually aware of that come to bear on whatever situation we're reading about. They're usually pretty major influences. And obvious ones, too. But sometimes the thing that is most obvious is the thing we tend to discount. 

This painting is a self portrait of Paul Gauguin. I did a quick Wikipedia read on him to find that, just before cutting his ear off, Van Gogh came at Gauguin with a razor blade. That's kind of interesting. He attacked Gauguin and then ran off to a brothel and cut his ear. 

Gauguin's art was not respected in his day, but he became quite famous after his death (a lifestyle blend of syphilis, alcohol and morphine did him in at 54). He ultimately inspired an entire generation of artists, including Van Gogh, Matisse and Picasso, and styles including cubism and even the American Arts and Crafts movement. 

All of that is beside the point, however. I just thought it was interesting. :D The real point, the crowing point, is that it is better to be loved than rich or powerful. One thing that I think surprised many people when my brother died, was how many people cared about him. His funeral was standing room only. Hundreds of people showed up to pay their respects. There were teams of boys he coached, their families, the people he worked with, neighbors...I don't think anyone ever knows how many lives they touch. I don't think my brother knew. He wasn't rich. He wasn't always strong. But like the King of Cups, he was loved. 

Think of yourself and those around you. Do you live your days to give and receive love? Or do live it to keep the hamster wheel moving forward? You can do both, I suppose. Being self employed, I'm in a good position to stop in the middle of the day and check in on my dogs. Have one of my Kizzie snuggles. He gives the best snuggles. 

Though, while I'm getting better at it in my later years, I have to say I focus on the money and "standing" to the detriment of self love and love of others. We think we'll always have time to get around to love, but "this project" has a deadline of now. So "this project" is what gets the attention. And so on. And we never get around to love. What is probably God's highest priority for us is the priority we place after all others. How screwed up is that? And how well is that working for our happiness?

Like my brother, I don't think any of us realize how many people out there count on/hope for/cherish our love and acceptance. If you feel like you don't receive nearly as much love as you might like, consider everyone else feels the same way. The best way I know to receive love is to give it. It's usually so appreciated that it's returned. Sure, there are some incapable of receiving and returning. But give it anyway. It may not come back from them, but it will come back. 

Money, power, fame...all of that feels good in the moment, but the feeling fades. However, the memory of being loved is one of those things that pops up while you're sitting in traffic, while you're grabbing a coffee...it never leaves your side. It lives beyond the moment and, as I've observed with my brother's family, lives on long after you die. So keep that in mind next time you have a choice between work and family...prestige and pets. We all have to earn a living. But that's not why we're here. Love should always be the crowning influence in our lives.

6/10/13—Creating Responsibility For Your Life

Today's Draw: Magician from the Dream Raven Tarot in the What to Take From The Past position from the Deck of 1000 Spreads. If you created your life, why do you suppose you made the choices you've made? Do you see them as choice or as the whims of a chaotic universe? Are you ready to take responsibility for who and what you are?

The Dream Raven is a deck I had been anticipating for quite some time and it doesn't disappoint. The colors are just gorgeous and the quality is typical Schiffer, which is darned good. I know Beth wasn't thinking of my Deck of 1000 Spreads when she drew this deck, but the colors work together quite well. 

Anyway, the Magician is all about creation and manifestation...the part of life you create. And by "part of life you create", I mean all of your life. Are there aspects of your life highly influenced by others? Yes. And no-ish. Because we choose how to respond and what to absorb. There are things that happen in childhood that can scar us. But each day we have the option of whether or not to heal those scars. 

I'm going to guess that most of the people reading this blog are established adults, aged 30 or over. So we're all grown up enough to decide who we are and who we want to be. We're mature enough to understand that if someone hurts our feelings that we're choosing to hurt over choosing to understand their words are about a pain inside of them and have nothing to do with us. In this way, we create every response, attitude, point of view, belief, etc. in our lives.

Further, we choose who enters our lives and who doesn't. We choose them by the attitudes, beliefs, points of view, etc, we choose to have in our lives. These people mirror things back to us that we've chosen, good and bad. If we choose to be easily hurt, we'll choose people who will hurt us. If we choose to live with loose boundaries, we'll attract people who will overstep them. And if we choose to heal our egos, we'll meet respectful people. Because disrespectful people won't even be an option to us.

Some believe we choose the human we're going to inhabit before we even come to this earth. So if you believe that, then you also have to believe that you chose the circumstances that would come along throughout your life, including your body, your family and all those childhood scars. 

In every second of every day, we're making choices that impact what we will create. And not just the bad things, either. You created the good, too. So think of a situation or circumstance in your life today. If it's something you're unhappy with, see how you chose it and figure out why. And if it's something you're happy about, give yourself credit for all the choices you made to manifest that in your life.

6/3/13—Trusting Your Instincts

Today's Draw: Key, Clouds and House from Lenormand de Marseilles by Edmund Zebrowski in the Immediate Future position from the Deck of 1000 Spreads. How much do you rely on your instincts over other forms of information? Where do you see that you can make changes to rely on your instincts more? How do you determine the difference between instinctual fear and paranoia?

A friend from one of the Lenormand groups online had told me that she likes to pull a card from the Deck of 1000 Spreads and then draw three Lenormand cards to give her a daily reading. So I thought I'd try this particular system today and share the technique on www.1000spreads.com and share the reading here. What happened amused me. 

Lenormand is a linguistic sort of tool. You read the cards in pairs and in sentences based on keywords for each of the cards. The Key card commonly speaks of solutions, answers and destiny. But it can mean an actual key, too. The Clouds speak of confusion and hidden things, but can also  mean actual clouds. And the House card can talk about family, property or an actual home. 

So one way of reading today's combo is "In the Immediate Future, your Destiny is Clouds over the House." And sure enough, there are. Dark ones moving in just like in the picture. I think the reason this rather silly, but accurate reading came up is because two out of my three dogs get really upset about thunderstorms. So the energy of nervousness in the room is pretty high right now, as it was when I chose the cards. 

The beautiful thing about dogs is that they really rely on their natural instincts to inform their world. They know when thunder storms are coming. When their mommy is coming home. When it's treat time. When I want to brush their coat. And they have this uncanny ability to run through the yard at breakneck speed chasing squirrels and each other and not step in any poop piles. It always amazes that, even in a rush, they're aware not only of their own poopies, but of those of the other two dogs. 

We have abilities like this, too. But more often than not, we'll check the Weather Channel to see if it's just cloudy or if there are major storms on the way. We'll call our mommies to see when they're coming home, rather than sense their presence in the vicinity. Or we'll walk right into a grooming situation unaware we're going to have get our coat brushed until it's too late...haha. Our access to other means of information has put us in a position where we've deadened our own natural instincts. But they're still there. 

So there's a bit deeper meaning to why the cards have told me what I already know today. In a way, they're telling me that I don't need them to tell me things I can already sense within myself. Sometimes the questions we ask ourselves alone are clues to the answers. "Am I walking into a trap?" "Should I get myself out of this situation?" "Is my job in danger?" Well, why would you even be asking these questions if you didn't have a sense that something was goofy?

Of course sometimes our own fears and insecurities can cloud our instincts. Maybe you think your job is in danger because you're paranoid and not because it's based on any fact. Even the dogs do that. They're here terrified of the clap of thunder, when the fact is that we're pretty darned safe most of the time. We get severe weather here...hurricanes and tornadoes. But it's rare that we have devastating situations where life and limb are concerned. 

But whether it's paranoia driving the question or instinct, there's something in there for you to learn. A solution at hand. If you're afraid of losing your job, it's because you don't feel secure at work. You don't have to actually lose a job to look for another one. So maybe the universe is prompting to take steps to feel more secure. Start a job hunt and learn what you're worth, whether you're in real danger or not. 

We had storms last week, too, and I observed Mystic, who is the most frightened of my dogs. She sought out places to hide where she could protect her head. She ultimately decided on hiding underneath the desk in my office. Her fears weren't founded, but she found a solution anyway. Sometimes that's all the universe wants you to do...find a solution. Know there's a way out. Sometimes that's all you really need to know to move past paranoia and back into a more neutral state where you can trust your natural instincts. 

Want to know more about combining Lenormand with the Deck of 1000 Spreads AND also see a sneak peek of my new Lenormand Deck? Click here!!!

5/30/13—Uncovering the Secret to Happiness

Today's Draw: Ten of Cups from Tarot Illuminati in the Attitudes and Thoughts position from the Deck of 1000 Spreads. Where do you fit in at this stage of your life where happiness is concerned? When you look at the picture on this card, do you think "what's their secret?" Or do you think, "hey, they look just like me?"

Hooray! Today you get one of the happiest. Cards. Ever. And you know why everyone on this card is so happy? As you'll notice, they have no fence to look over, so they can't compare their life to the lives of others. And they have no satellite dish on their house beaming messages from the advertisers and media about what they should have, what they should look like and who they should be. 

Instead, they just know they love each other. They know they're surrounded by beauty. They know their humble home is enough. They're warm and fed and clean. What's more to want? Chances are you have all those same things. Are you as happy?

Our attitudes and thoughts alone can change our entire world. My own life changed drastically when I stopped seeing myself as single and alone and started seeing myself as the matriarch of a family that included three dogs. My sense of how much love I had in my life changed when I gave myself permission to count dog love and self love as part of my love bucket. 

In fact, most of the time I feel far more fortunate than the standard nuclear family because, let's face it, nobody loves you like a dog loves you. They're never mad at you. Their entire worlds stop when they catch sight of you. See what I'm getting at? Nothing changed outside of me to change the way I felt about my life. What changed was *inside* of me. 

The difference between happy and trying to be happy is all on where you place your attention. Are you focusing on what you need to make yourself happy? Or are you focusing on what you have that makes you happy? If you tend toward the former, you will never be happy. Because your happiness is dependent on some set of circumstances you'll never attain. Because the minute you catch up to one circumstance, another goal comes in sight. All you train your vision on is lack, so lack is all you see. 

If you focus on what you already have that makes you happy, then everything you see is something that brings you joy. And when you show gratitude for those things, more of that stuff enters your life. It really is as simple as "what you focus on grows in your life". Focus on lack and the lack gets bigger. Focus on fulfillment and the fulfillment gets bigger. 

It's hard not to compare yourself to others or to some ideal that doesn't. Our society makes it hard. And people wear masks to appear happy when they're really not. So it seems like others have some secret we don't...they married smarter, work smarter, have better kids...whatever. But here's their secret—either they're not really happy, or they focus on what they have and not what they lack. It's the only secret you need to know. And it's as easy to attain as it is to stop biting your fingernails or break any other habit you may have. The only thing that stands between you and the Ten of Cups is...you. 

5/24/13-5/26/13—Forging Your Spirit

Weekend Reading: Smithy from the Breath of Night oracle in the Spirit position from the Deck of 1000 Spreads. Smiths work hard to hone their craft and they infuse their work with their passion and soul. As an added bonus, they get to beat on crap, which is great for releasing stress. So what can you work on this weekend that will do the same for you? In the US, you get an extra day to do it. So whether it's doing scrapbooking, gardening, giving yourself a spiritual retreat or going fishing, invest your passion and soul in it. Doing the things you love is all part of forging a strong spirit. And if you have nothing juicy planned for the weekend, change your plans to fit in something in to stir your spirit or release your tensions. In our pressure-cooker lives, we all need something now and again to release the steam. Taking my own advice, I'm going to skip Monday's post. I'll see you all again on Tuesday. 

5/24/13—Reflecting On Your Health

Today's Draw: Seven of Fossils/Deer from the Animal Wisdom Tarot in the Health Outcome position from the Deck of 1000 Spreads. What is swirling in the back of your mind causing stress? What do you think it's doing to your physical and emotional health? And what are you prepared to do about it?

I've been thinking a lot about health lately. For one thing, I'm in the midst of menopause and the jury is still out on how that will impact the next decades of my life as far as my health is concerned. I always had a level of respect for my period and my natural cycle. I never took a pill or anything like that to regulate it. Instead, I dealt with it naturally and approached birth control by other means. For me, that time of my month, as annoying, painful or messy as it could be, was also a time of release and detoxification...perhaps not in the literal sense, but in the way it felt for me. It was a healthy, necessary cycle. 

Then there's my diabetes and weight issues. I've struggled with weight—and sugar—all my life. A couple of years ago, when I was diagnosed with diabetes, I took it seriously and went super low carb, bringing my numbers down into the healthy range. Then I gave up, as usually happens when I feel restricted. And my blood sugar shot back up. Like many women, I find it easier to care for others than for myself. So I would observe myself in wonder as I carefully measured my dogs' grain-free, Omega-3-rich, healthy kibble into their bowls each day. Not just that, but if they so much as yelp, they go off to the doctor to see what's wrong. "Why didn't I care for myself the same way?", I wondered. 

I finally realized "restriction" was never a good diet alternative for me. So I changed the relationship I had with my nutritionist, Alana Sugar. She's a woman of many skills (and I recommend her highly.) And we began to work on my energy body and emotional body in regard to my diet, rather than my physical one. Very slowly, over time, my head is changing around this matter. Things I swore you'd never see me doing, like juicing vegetables, are now things I'm choosing to do because I'm curious and want to. Over the past couple of months, I have seen me make increasingly smarter choices, not because of a diet and not because I feel I have to, but because I want to. Because I'm finally ready to surrender to the notion of good health a way that makes it entirely my choice. It's spelling a bigger difference in my blood sugar fluctuations than in my weight right now, but momentum is building and this feels right and natural. 

But what took place yesterday is probably the reason why the cards came as they did today. Yesterday I went in for one of those new 3-D mammograms. Because my mother died from breast cancer at 56, I've been getting mammograms yearly since the age of 30. But a couple of years ago when I called to make my appointment, they said it was too soon...a year hadn't passed yet...and to call back. They wouldn't schedule me a couple of months ahead. So the ball dropped and I didn't get one that year or last year, either. 

So for two years worry has been swirling in the back of my head. What if? What if this is the year I truly need one and didn't get one? Both going and not going bring up fears for me. I've had a couple of biopsies before. One required breast surgery and the removal of tissue and that one left me with a large scar which traumatized me for a while. So all of it—going and not going—brings up anxiety until I actually do go and am declared "clear". Angelina Jolie's recent decision to have a double-mastectomy while she's still healthy is indicative of what many feel who have watched their mother die entirely too soon. 

After the mammogram, I sat in my car  wanting desperately to cry, but having a hard time doing so. I've really been feeling the stress of life the last few years, as I'm sure many do. Worry about money, concerns about career, the ever-present deadlines of my job, a busy schedule, keeping my house clean, getting my yard and garden in shape, concerns about my dogs, loss in my life...the stress of all of it produces unhealthy chemistry. I do meditate, which helps. And I've eliminated some of my extra "jobs" so I can have my weekends back. But yesterday after rushing around all day, doing errands and going to meetings, worrying about the dogs, pushing the clock...well, I just wanted to cry. And that's my body's way of saying "something's gotta give because the stress is taking a toll." I feel that way far too often lately. 

When I added all of this stuff up—the menopause and loss of that naturally healthy cycle, the weight issues, diabetes, increased worry of illness while aging and overall life stress—it became apparent to me that I really needed to take stock of my health and make some changes. And while I am currently making better choices, I realize I need to be even more proactive. Because the stress and worry of putting off positive health choices could be making me sick, you know?

I think most people have something that, overtly or not, swirls around in the back of the head causing stress. Maybe it's your job. Or your home situation. Or unfinished projects. Or some sort of insecurity. The stress of these things eats away at us. It may not be top of mind. But that doesn't mean it can't bore a hole in your spirit. And on some level it detrimentally affects our health. 

The Seven of Fossils comes to us today to tell us it's time to reflect on these things—including things we insist don't really bother us but, under the surface do—and see where we can make adjustments in our lives, specifically in the areas of health. The fact that it comes to us in the form of a deer also says to be gentle with yourself. As the cards indicate, I think this all came to ME to let me know this reflection is the outcome of the health issues I've been having lately. And, once reflected upon, the question for all of us is, "what are you going to do about it?"

For me, the answer is that I need to drink more liquids. Get more exercise. Do something that draws a line in my day, between the time I'm at work and the time I'm not (working at home and being on the computer through the night make for bad work boundaries.) Eat when I'm hungry, instead of when I can carve out some time to make something. Be more present, especially during those times I have R&R time. And meditate longer and more consistently. 

There are some things we can't change. I can't change that my workday plans can shift at a moment's notice as fires blow through, putting more pressure on already pressurized deadlines. That is the nature of my business. But I can change the way I respond to it and I can change other things in my life to counterbalance that stress. Not everybody can look forward to be healthier at 60 than they are at 50, but if I continue on the path I'm on, certainly that will be the case. That's the upside of being obese, diabetic, stressed out, sedentary and menopausal at the age of 50...haha. So...what do you get when you reflect on your own health forecast?

5/17/13—Uncovering Your Inner Camel

Today's Draw: Camel, Seeker of Branches in the You position from the Animal Wisdom Tarot and the Deck of 1000 Spreads. When was the last time someone told you something compelling about who you are? Did you agree with them? And what would you say if I told you you were a camel?

You know there's an issue when you have Amazon Prime shipping and you forget you ordered something by the time it arrives. But I must say, I was pleasantly surprised to receive this deck. And when I opened it, I was even more surprised. It's a really nice deck. 

A "seeker" in this deck is a Knight, and "branches" are Wands. But I like the phrase "seeker of branches". It sounds somehow noble and "special". It makes me want to know what it means and what it has to do with me. 

Last Sunday a woman gave me an energy healing and when it was done she said, "they told me you are someone who fills in the spaces between things." By "they" she meant the healing spirits or guides that come to her when she performs her healings. I wasn't expecting a message from spirit on top of my healing, but when I got this one, I was intrigued. Now I've been thinking about it all week. 

The most obvious meaning of it is what I do for a living. As a consultant, I fill in gaps of manpower or expertise. That's what I do. When an agency needs a writer who is a subject matter expert or when a company doesn't have the right writer—or enough writers—on staff to handle the workload, they call me. So I literally fill in the spaces. 

Then last night the man who interviewed me on the radio said that he and I both lived "in between" or something like that. By that, I think he meant that we ventured into that space between humans and spirit. For him, I think that meant he was a medium. For me, I think it's about the writing I do here...filling in that gap between seeking and understanding. It's a flattering thought. 

Even in my advertising job I feel like the words and ideas come from someplace other than me. I'm sure there's something you do where you lose all sense of space and time. Maybe it's gardening. Or painting.  Or some other passion. When we go into "the zone", I think we're actually occupying that space between human and spirit. So that's another I might fill in the spaces with my writing. 

Anyway, all of this is to say that it's always interesting and valuable to hear people tell you who you are...when they're not screaming at you, that is...haha. Because sometimes they have things to say that, as long as you've known yourself, you've never considered about yourself before. So when today's "You" card came up with the compelling "Seeker of Branches" label, it reminded me of that. In what way might you be a camel or a seeker of branches? Frankly, it could mean anything. 

So I could tell you what the deck's creator meant by that, but I think it would be more fun for you figure out how you might be a seeker of branches for yourself. After all, the card came up for YOU. What does that mean to you? Are the branches branches of peace? Are they handholds to cling on to? Are they full of fruit? Are you a genealogist? A river explorer? 

And if that fails to inspire you, how are you like the camel? Do you persevere through harsh environments? Do you see life from a higher perspective? Do you have vast inner reserves? Are you a beast of burden? What? 

It's rare to have someone tell you who you are in a way that sets you off on a fresh journey of discovery. I got that gift this week and now I'm giving it to you. We're all seeking something and in some way, we're all a seeker of branches...and we're all a camel. Look at yourself this way and see if you can find something about yourself you never really knew before. 

5/15/13—Claiming Your Power

TODAY'S DRAW BREAKING NEWS!!!! 
I will be interviewed on an internet radio program Wednesday night at 7pm Eastern US about spirituality, my deck, breaking the rules, manifestation and more. The show will be archived if you miss it live. I hope you'll tune in. Details can be found here.  http://www.blogtalkradio.com/psychicalx/2013/05/15/breakin-the-rules-alx-interviews-tierney-sadler


Today's Draw: Eight of Swords from the Victorian Romantic in the What to Avoid position from the Deck of 1000 Spreads. Where do feel stuck in your life? What are you hoping will happen to make you unstuck? Do you have a plan?

In all its many artistic interpretations, the Eight of Swords usually depicts someone "trapped" in a situation they can easily get out of. Look at the picture. Are those ropes holding her wrists together really that inescapable? Is she being poorly taken care of? Does she look like the victim of anything?

At first glance, the picture seems to portray a woman held against her will, but the more you study the details, the more comical her situation appears. Now what if I told you it's likely the same picture is present somewhere in your life?

I'm stuck in this job. 
I can't leave my husband. 
I don't have the time. 
That is too difficult for me. 
Quitting smoking is too hard. 
I can't meditate. 
I can't move forward.

Those are just a few of the things we tell ourselves to remain trapped in a less-than-satisfying life. They're all excuses. And people hate this word, but they're all the statements of a victim. Reality is....

I choose to stay in this job until the economy improves. 
I'm afraid of all the uncertainties involved with leaving my husband. 
I don't want to give anything up in order to make the time. 
I'm not willing to put in the effort to learn something new. 
I choose to continue to yield to my nicotine addiction. 
I tried meditating once and it didn't work, so I won't try again. 
I choose to remain tied to the past. 

The first set of statements identify you as powerless over your life or situation. They make you a victim. The second set of statements acknowledge your power, as well as your choice to continue the unfulfilling behavior. And until you acknowledge that it's a choice, nothing will ever change for you. 

There won't be any knights riding in on white horses. There is no secret force out there looking to save you from anything. The fairy tales we read as children are charming but they've also screwed us up. We believe in Cinderella and Prince Charming and happily ever after. And all throughout our lives, movies and books and other influences reinforce these things as truth. 

So when they don't happen to us, we wonder why....another victimized way of thinking. We choose to believe it because we want to believe it. So we look around us and think we see it in pictures or over the fence, but again, we're victimizing ourselves. It doesn't exist. Life doesn't happen to you. A fairy godmother doesn't come along and sprinkle you with dust and suddenly everything's ok. 

There are good people out there who will help you if you ask them, but the only hero—the only savior—you're going to come across in life is yourself. And the best way to start is to re-language the things in your life that seem insurmountable. The more you "save yourself", the more you see how magical and powerful you truly are. Claim your power to create positive change in your life and do it soon. Because the one thing worse than doing the hard work of creating change is continuing to live a powerless life subject to the whims of outside forces. 

5/14/13—Checking In With Your Superpower

Today's Draw: Strength from the Art of Life Tarot in the Lesson position from the Deck of 1000 Spreads. What superpowers have you developed in your lifetime? Are they impervious to attack? Or could something quietly worm its way in just enough for a speck of kryptonite to flow in?

I have this really cool superpower. I can allow certain types of thoughts and fears (certainly not all types...I'm not THAT good) to pass through my mind with non-judgment. By that, I mean that instead of entertaining a fear and allowing it to swirl out of control in my head, I can note it and let it flow out of my head as quickly as it flowed in. I don't judge it true or false, good or bad, scary or pleasant. It is what it is. A thought.

This is a superpower, because I used to be one of those people who over thinks things and worries and allows fears to take over. Then through divine means (and a long-lived meditation practice combined with conscious discipline), I found myself nearly impervious to fear-based, catastrophic thinking when it came to money, my career, my creative talents and other aspects of the professional part of my life. I did this just in time to become a freelance writer, supporting a rag-tag pack of dogs through two recessions and countless other challenges. 

See, there are consultants who get gigs that last for six months with guaranteed income. Then there are consultants who earn their mortgage a quarter-hour at a time. I'm the latter. It can be hard to survive as the latter in a competitive, uncertain landscape like advertising. I know of very few people in the marketplace who have lasted as long as I (as an aging single person in a young man's game with no other stream of income or support.) I say all of this not to brag, but to paint a picture of how truly awesome my superpower is, and yet how vulnerable it can be under the right conditions. 

See, this weekend I was minding my own business when I inadvertently allowed a couple of fear-based, self defeating thoughts to creep into my head in regard to my capability, competence and future as a creative writer. It's not like I came into contact with kryptonite or anything. It was the same kind of stimuli that had bounced off my brain of steel many times in the past. But somehow, something breached the perimeter and started working on me. So the timing of this Strength card with the Francis Bacon quote, "He knows not his own strength that hath not met adversity," is perfect. It reminds me why certain things happen. Without being tested you forget a superpower is a superpower. 

Ordinary powers are made to be weakened and compromised. Those tests are usually obvious...the invitation to the candy gala right after you give up sweets for lent. But superpower tests have to be sneaky. They must appear non-threatening and insignificant. Then, once inside your head, they swell up like a tick, feeding on your confidence until one day, boom!, your brain explodes. :D

Adversity comes to us for a reason. It shows us where we've left ourselves open...or where we've lost our vigilance. It's the first Seal Team...the one that opens the door just wide enough for the second Seal Team to roll the kryptonite in. So this weekend I had some pre-adversity. It didn't really work. I was over it by today. But it was working on working. 

For you it could be the thought that sends you in a downward spiral toward depression...don't entertain that first thought. Or it could be the conflict that makes you think about smoking after 20 years...close the door and lock it. Or it could be something that sends you back into the arms of a toxic old lover. It could be anything. But it will come with a whisper first...a whisper subtle enough to charm the door open for your kryptonite to roll in. 

On one hand, the whisper seems evil and divisive. But in actuality it's the Jor-El to your Kal-El (look at me and my Superman geek talk!) It's an early warning system that could keep you out of more dire circumstances ahead—adversity enough to keep you forever connected to your own super-human strengths. 

5/13/13—Cleaning Out Your Closets

Today's Draw: The Empress in the What's Crossing Success position from the Peaceful Path Tarot and the Deck of 1000 Spreads. Are you considering a big change? Is your life ok, but nothing terribly exiting? Could you use to shake up your routine a little?

The "Crossing" position in tarot is one that can help or hinder whatever it's modifying. And in the case of this card combo, I think it's saying that the continual birth of new ideas—and the continual rebirth of ourselves—symbolized by the Empress is what adds to our success in life.

I'm sure it's possible to be successful doing the same thing in the same way over and over again. In fact, I've noticed that a lot of authors in the spiritual non-fiction realm just regurgitate the same book over and over and they're successful. And it makes sense, in a way, because sometimes people just need to hear something a different way in order for it to sink in. So if you tell them the same thing over and over using different words, you're certain to reach them.

So you can find some forms of success regardless, but I think if you want success in marriage, personal development, career and all-around, you really have to try new things. In fact, I think it's a major contributor to happiness. And it's not just trying new things, it's having new ideas and thoughts—and being open to new ideas and thoughts.

I think the more we challenge ourselves to step outside our areas of complacency, the fresher and more vital life feels. When I look back on my life, I see where I've "reinvented" myself many times. In a way it's a rebirthing...you change your hair color, you switch careers, you change your lifestyle...all of those lead to a "new you". And think of vital you feel when you do something like that!

Beyond the dramatic things, what are some behavioral things where you're responding the same way over and over again? How can you change something there in a way that supports growth? Is there a way you see a certain issue where you could open your mind a little? Or some part of your daily routine you could reinvent? 

Also consider that if you have a big change you need to make, that the momentum can begin just by changing something small. So say you want to quit your job as an accountant to open a bakery and that feels like too big a leap to make, why not teach baking classes out of your home? Or try catering a friend's party? Or play with some recipes, substituting different flours? Or heck, why not just come up with a name for your bakery and print up some business cards? Or consider some sort of partnership pairing, like Sue's Bakery and Tacos...haha...just throw some ideas out there where someone could come in and share the risk. I've noticed that a lot of coffee shops get baked goods from neighborhood bakers...maybe start there. See? Instead of thinking "how am I going to afford this?" or "how am I going to create this change in my life?", just brainstorm all kinds of ideas. The act of thinking or doing or taking baby steps alone, could inspire something you never considered. 

I think if we all really took a look, we'd see there are some things we decided for ourselves 30 years and haven't challenged since then. They might be things we're happy with, but what if there's an option out there you'd be even happier with? You won't know that until you consider other options. 

In the same way we go through our closets every once in a while to throw out old fashions and things that no longer fit, the same opportunity exists in every area of our life. How long has it been since you've become conscious enough of your life to ask yourself "is XYZ really working for me anymore?...is the way I drive to work...the way I cook chicken...the way I engage others...the way I respond to stress...is all of that still working for me or is it possible there's a better way?" Often if we change the way we do something, things around it change, too. Are you ready to see what you can give birth to in your life today?

5/3/13—Perching on the Front Stoop of Life

Today's Draw Classic*: Knight of Bows from a trimmed Wildwood Tarot in the What to Avoid position from the Deck of 1000 Spreads. Do you spend too much time one on aspect of your life to the detriment of other parts of your being? If you died tomorrow, would there be any regrets about it? What undiscovered gem of life might be standing right in front of you, waiting for you to shift your focus?

Today's draw is one of the reasons I don't like to reversals. For the uninitiated, reversals are cards that, when you turn them over, end up upside down. And many people read those as roughly the opposite of a card's meaning. But I don't read reversals, primarily because I believe the position the card lands in can create the same outcome. 

So, for example, today's card of the Fox is about stealth and cunning, playfulness and determination. None of those are things we would want to avoid. So reading the card in context of its spread position, you'd look at the shadow side of that card, like being opportunistic, manipulative, childish and ruthless. 

Shadow sides come from too much of a good thing. Leadership is a good thing. But when you go all leadership on people's arses, it's called megalomania. Not a good thing.

Another way of looking at it is how the book for this deck spelled out the downside of this card—"Determination leads to success, but often at a great personal cost." 

I'll cop to being one of those women who focus too much on career...to the detriment of my personal life. I even ended up turning one of my personal life hobbies into a second career so I could work even harder...haha. Mind you, I'm not complaining and I won't use the word "regret". I enjoy the things I do. And because I'm at home when I do all of them, my dogs never feel lonely or neglected, as far as getting their needs for attention and sustenance met. 

But there are so many things that fall by the wayside because I'm now attending to two different careers. I don't get out as often. I don't exercise often. I don't spend enough time with friends. And most of my friends are the same way, so they don't have time to spend with me. So while I don't regret it...my life is full...I could nonetheless find a healthier balance. 

I see a lot of this around me. Women who devote all of their time to their children and husband and spend no time developing their own personal relationship with self. People who dive so deeply into their relationships that they have no friends. Certainly we shouldn't neglect the things we need to attend to in our lives. But having friendships, personal interests and a personal life are also among those things we shouldn't neglect. 

Anytime we pour so much of ourselves into one thing or another, we put ourselves at risk. If we lose that one thing that identifies us, then who are we? But beyond that, we're cheating ourselves out of part of life we came here to experience. Having just one or two aspects of ourselves supporting the entirety of a life is a precarious foundation to build on. It's simple principle of engineering. 

That said, I enjoy my life. Especially now, because a lot of things are coming to a successful conclusion. But I think we all have to ask ourselves, if we died tomorrow or a year from now, is there something we'd wish we'd had more of in our lives? I wouldn't have any MAJOR regrets, but I can see where I'd be a little wistful about things I could have done more often or had more of in my life. 

Even just tonight, I was sitting on my front stoop watching the sunset and seeing the neighborhood happen. I'd only done that once before and that was just last week. All these years and I never experienced life from a perch on the front stoop! It made me sad that something so in-my-face had been overlooked for so many years. What might you not be seeing for all your determination in life?

*From 2/19/13

5/2/13—Letting God Steer the Justice Ship

Today's Draw Classic*: Justice in the Immediate Future from the Tarot of the Tattoo Age and the Deck of 1000 Spreads. Is it about time justice is served? Can you know for certain what that looks like? How does justice get enacted in your life?

Well, well. It looks like we're going to get justice at last! And, for some of us, that will be good news. For others it will most assuredly suck. Which are you? Don't be so sure you know the answer. 

The Justice card is about fairness and truth. In a broader sense, it's about karma, too. Something from your past is going to get weighed and you will receive a sentence. Whether it's good or bad is out of your hands now. It's now up to the objective force of the universe to determine. 

I've talked before on this blog about revenge. I don't go there. And one of the reasons I don't go there is because of karma. It will come back to me. Another reason I don't go there is because the higher power I believe in is so frickin' awesome at exacting justice that it will always do a better job than me. 

A third reason I don't go there is because I don't presume to know enough about what's fair or right to be in command of the justice ship. Because I only know part of the truth. My part. And from my standpoint, I'm right and the other person is wrong. But even if everyone agrees with me, I still only know part of the story. I don't know what drives the other person. And I forget all the crap I've done in the past to deserve the way I was treated. I also don't know if the "bad" thing they did to me is ultimately bad...it could end up being a fortunate lesson that keeps me from greater pain in the future.

See, the other person could be an agent of the universe come to settle the score from that time I knocked that girl's books of her desk in the third grade and kept walking because I was embarrassed. To her, it looked like I was being a bully. Or rude. I remember she was really upset about it. And I remember everyone looked at me like I was a monster. But I was embarrassed and didn't know what to do. So I kept walking. I didn't apologize. I didn't do nuffin. Except look like an ass. 

So, seeing as how this current incident could be justice for something I've long since forgotten, I'd pretty much be screwing myself if I sought revenge for it, right? I'd just create more bad karma. Personally I think anytime you presume to do God's work for him you're creating bad karma. So that's why I won't go there. 

But this principle goes beyond revenge. For every "my side of the story out there", there are multiple aspects of the big picture you just do not know. Nor could you ever. So what looks unfair could be fair. A person who annoys you wins the lottery? I'm pretty certain it's fair. First of all, you don't know what wonderful things they may be doing when they're not annoying you. And second, you have no idea what winning that money will do to them. If you watch enough cable TV, you're informed enough to what large sums of money do to people's lives. 

What it all comes down to is that there are many lenses through which to view the truth. But in the end, only one truth matters...the objective truth of the universe. You wanna screw with that? You know better? Go ahead and do what you will. But know that no deed goes unweighed on the scales of justice. And anytime you do something to hurt another person, whether you think it's justified or not, the scales start tipping against you.  

*Repeated from 2/25/13

5/1/13—Putting Tradition In Its Proper Place

SPECIAL EDITION!!!!

Today we're doing something different at the Daily Draw. I joined a group called TarotBlogHop and the idea is this: 

People in the group all post at THE EXACT SAME TIME, no matter where they are in the world. And we create a circle. To do that, at the beginning of this post, I provide a link to the blog that comes before me in the "hop". So if you came to me from Johnny Two Brows' site, you're in the right place. John is a tarot reader right here in VA, where I live. And though I've never met him person, we have actual three-dimensional people in common. 

When you're done reading my post, I'll link you to Chloe's Celtic Lenormand site. Chloe has always been a big supporter of the Daily Draw, so you'll want to be sure to visit her page. 

So the idea is that all the bloggers create a big circle that you can go around and read each person's views about the chosen topic, which is "What traditions are important to you in how you read Tarot?" Fun huh? I get new readers here, you get new blogs to visit there and everyone wins! Hooray!

Now, on with the show...


Today's Draw: The Hierophant from the Pen Tarot in the What to Avoid position from the Deck of 1000 Spreads. Would you call yourself a tarot traditionalist? What kinds of things do you do to buck tradition? And what traditions are important to you in how you read the tarot?

Usually, I randomly draw a card from a tarot deck and randomly choose from the Deck of 1000 Spreads. But today I intentionally chose two cards to communicate how I feel about tradition (represented by the Hierophant). 

I don't REALLY think you should avoid it in tarot—or in life, as a matter of fact. In fact, I think we should all know the traditional ways. I think we should know what all the cards mean. I think we should at least be familiar with traditional spreads. And I think we should all know how to give a traditional, face-to-face reading. But that's where I draw the line.

One of the classes I teach as a tarot teacher is called Taboo Tarot, Breaking All the Tarot Rules. In that class I'll make you to shuffle your cards a different way. I'll have you to read a querent a different way. I'll compel you to learn something different in the area of spreads. And all of that will not only force you to have fun...haha, but to also learn the most important "rule" of tarot there is—that it works no matter what you do. I can tell you that rule all day, but you won't get the hang of it until you start breaking the rules yourself.

And why should you break the rules? Because tarot has so much more to offer than tradition "allows". If you're not familiar with my Deck of 1000 Spreads, it's the perfect example. Traditionally you would use a Celtic Cross as a spread. Or you would find a spread in a book. If you were really adventurous, you might try to create a spread on your own. But the Deck of 1000 Spreads opens even more avenues beyond that. You can "divine" a spread, meaning you can draw spread positions the same way you'd draw tarot cards from a deck, then lay them out in spread form. You can easily re-tool any spread you might find online or in a book. Plus, the colors on the spread cards pull out colors in your tarot cards, adding a whole new dimension to your readings. And that's just a few of the things people are doing for the first time because of this deck.  

I know that sounded like an ad for my cards. And it was. Kinda...haha. But I write ads for a living, so it can't be avoided. The point is that when you start thinking outside of traditional realms, you can create something that totally changes the game for your readings. Tradition forms the basis, but breaking tradition is what keeps the practice alive in your heart and soul. At least for me it is. And when you bear the excitement of a practice that's always evolving, you light a spark that keeps that keeps the energy going from generation to generation.

Look, if we never veered from tradition, we'd all be reading in stuffy parlors with Tarot de Marseilles decks. And some LOVE the idea of that. And that's cool. But I'll bet few people actually still read in the same manner people did in the 15th and 16th centuries. Heck, it was a card game back then. SOMEONE had to buck tradition to even make it a divination system!

And that's exactly my point. Everything derives from breaking tradition. When man moved out of caves and into small farming communities, they were breaking tradition. In fact, when primates start to walk upright, THEY were breaking tradition. It's in our DNA, ferchrissakes!

So when I teach tarot, I tell my students to memorize their card meanings, but to also read "intuitively". I tell them to learn their Celtic Cross, but also create their own spreads. They learn to read traditional ways, but also with multiple decks, or different kinds of shuffles or ways of drawing the cards. Because that's how you get from a TdM to a Sola Busca to a RWS to a Greenwood, Thoth or non-traditional deck...by knowing what you're talking about and what you're supposed to do—but not being limited by it.

I recently taught a spreadcrafting class and told the students that, at some point, I had to give myself permission to stop looking in books for spreads and create my own. Giving myself permission, and assuming the power to off-road based on all those who broke the rules before me, was so freeing! It set my creative juices flowing and gave me new excitement for tarot. And it's what eventually led to creating a new way to approach spreadcrafting with my deck.  

Tarot needs more of that. Tarot needs legions of free thinkers with the permission to break the rules and thank god there are many out there. But this need is not just tarot's. It's needed in politics, business, religion and society in general. Man and the times are continually evolving and our leaders and iconoclasts need to keep pace. It's vital to know where we came from and why. But when tradition is no longer relevant or "big enough" for the people who follow it, it's time for a change.

So now that you know how I feel about tradition, I'm going to tell you that traditionally, you'd visit Chloe's Celtic Lenormand page after mine. In fact, I strongly recommend that, because Chloe rocks. But maybe you want to buck tradition and hop backwards to Johnny Two Brows' site. Or maybe you want to do something entirely different and choose someone from the master list of participating blogs. Whatever you choose, you've got my permission. ;) Have fun!