5/1/13—Putting Tradition In Its Proper Place

SPECIAL EDITION!!!!

Today we're doing something different at the Daily Draw. I joined a group called TarotBlogHop and the idea is this: 

People in the group all post at THE EXACT SAME TIME, no matter where they are in the world. And we create a circle. To do that, at the beginning of this post, I provide a link to the blog that comes before me in the "hop". So if you came to me from Johnny Two Brows' site, you're in the right place. John is a tarot reader right here in VA, where I live. And though I've never met him person, we have actual three-dimensional people in common. 

When you're done reading my post, I'll link you to Chloe's Celtic Lenormand site. Chloe has always been a big supporter of the Daily Draw, so you'll want to be sure to visit her page. 

So the idea is that all the bloggers create a big circle that you can go around and read each person's views about the chosen topic, which is "What traditions are important to you in how you read Tarot?" Fun huh? I get new readers here, you get new blogs to visit there and everyone wins! Hooray!

Now, on with the show...


Today's Draw: The Hierophant from the Pen Tarot in the What to Avoid position from the Deck of 1000 Spreads. Would you call yourself a tarot traditionalist? What kinds of things do you do to buck tradition? And what traditions are important to you in how you read the tarot?

Usually, I randomly draw a card from a tarot deck and randomly choose from the Deck of 1000 Spreads. But today I intentionally chose two cards to communicate how I feel about tradition (represented by the Hierophant). 

I don't REALLY think you should avoid it in tarot—or in life, as a matter of fact. In fact, I think we should all know the traditional ways. I think we should know what all the cards mean. I think we should at least be familiar with traditional spreads. And I think we should all know how to give a traditional, face-to-face reading. But that's where I draw the line.

One of the classes I teach as a tarot teacher is called Taboo Tarot, Breaking All the Tarot Rules. In that class I'll make you to shuffle your cards a different way. I'll have you to read a querent a different way. I'll compel you to learn something different in the area of spreads. And all of that will not only force you to have fun...haha, but to also learn the most important "rule" of tarot there is—that it works no matter what you do. I can tell you that rule all day, but you won't get the hang of it until you start breaking the rules yourself.

And why should you break the rules? Because tarot has so much more to offer than tradition "allows". If you're not familiar with my Deck of 1000 Spreads, it's the perfect example. Traditionally you would use a Celtic Cross as a spread. Or you would find a spread in a book. If you were really adventurous, you might try to create a spread on your own. But the Deck of 1000 Spreads opens even more avenues beyond that. You can "divine" a spread, meaning you can draw spread positions the same way you'd draw tarot cards from a deck, then lay them out in spread form. You can easily re-tool any spread you might find online or in a book. Plus, the colors on the spread cards pull out colors in your tarot cards, adding a whole new dimension to your readings. And that's just a few of the things people are doing for the first time because of this deck.  

I know that sounded like an ad for my cards. And it was. Kinda...haha. But I write ads for a living, so it can't be avoided. The point is that when you start thinking outside of traditional realms, you can create something that totally changes the game for your readings. Tradition forms the basis, but breaking tradition is what keeps the practice alive in your heart and soul. At least for me it is. And when you bear the excitement of a practice that's always evolving, you light a spark that keeps that keeps the energy going from generation to generation.

Look, if we never veered from tradition, we'd all be reading in stuffy parlors with Tarot de Marseilles decks. And some LOVE the idea of that. And that's cool. But I'll bet few people actually still read in the same manner people did in the 15th and 16th centuries. Heck, it was a card game back then. SOMEONE had to buck tradition to even make it a divination system!

And that's exactly my point. Everything derives from breaking tradition. When man moved out of caves and into small farming communities, they were breaking tradition. In fact, when primates start to walk upright, THEY were breaking tradition. It's in our DNA, ferchrissakes!

So when I teach tarot, I tell my students to memorize their card meanings, but to also read "intuitively". I tell them to learn their Celtic Cross, but also create their own spreads. They learn to read traditional ways, but also with multiple decks, or different kinds of shuffles or ways of drawing the cards. Because that's how you get from a TdM to a Sola Busca to a RWS to a Greenwood, Thoth or non-traditional deck...by knowing what you're talking about and what you're supposed to do—but not being limited by it.

I recently taught a spreadcrafting class and told the students that, at some point, I had to give myself permission to stop looking in books for spreads and create my own. Giving myself permission, and assuming the power to off-road based on all those who broke the rules before me, was so freeing! It set my creative juices flowing and gave me new excitement for tarot. And it's what eventually led to creating a new way to approach spreadcrafting with my deck.  

Tarot needs more of that. Tarot needs legions of free thinkers with the permission to break the rules and thank god there are many out there. But this need is not just tarot's. It's needed in politics, business, religion and society in general. Man and the times are continually evolving and our leaders and iconoclasts need to keep pace. It's vital to know where we came from and why. But when tradition is no longer relevant or "big enough" for the people who follow it, it's time for a change.

So now that you know how I feel about tradition, I'm going to tell you that traditionally, you'd visit Chloe's Celtic Lenormand page after mine. In fact, I strongly recommend that, because Chloe rocks. But maybe you want to buck tradition and hop backwards to Johnny Two Brows' site. Or maybe you want to do something entirely different and choose someone from the master list of participating blogs. Whatever you choose, you've got my permission. ;) Have fun!

4/24/13—Being Alone When You're Together

Today's Draw: The Hermit from the Pen Tarot in the Action to Take With Your Partner position from the Deck of 1000 Spreads. Does your partner sometimes feel "absent"? Whether single or attached, do you often feel lonely? When was the last time you took as good care of yourself as you do everyone else?

I recently went on an awesome day trip with a couple of my friends. And one of them mentioned something she'd heard about the secret to keeping a relationship going. And it was this: 

Learn to be alone when you're together and together when you're alone. 

You really have to put some thought into that for it to sink in. Being alone when you're together is about having separate interests and not depending on the other person to fill your time....or fill your life. 

I think that's an easy trap people fall into when they get married or coupled. They think "now I'll never have to be alone". They stop pursuing singular interests because they feel being married means you turn your time over to your partner. In some cases, being partnered for some is a way out of ever having to be alone with oneself and look within. The truth is, however, that there's never a circumstance in your life in which you won't have to be alone. Moreover, you may have others gathered all around you and still FEEL alone if you lose your identity and your singularity to a relationship. 

Life is a solitary journey. And we can have companions along the way, but we can't push the responsibility of driving our journey off on anyone else. Well, we can, but we won't get far. We came here for a purpose that serves our soul and we need to nurture that relationship, too, in order to fulfill our purpose. 

Another thing I see especially women doing is putting everything "me" aside for their children. Of course there's a line you need to walk, but for some it seems like being alone and having alone things to do is a betrayal to the children. They feel like they have to be there and be available to the children at all times. But what they're really doing is teaching their children how to abandon their own needs for the needs of others further on in their lives...that the only time someone's needs are important is when they're children. Either that or they're setting their children up for disappointment in a world that doesn't stop to handle their every need.

In my opinion, being alone—being singular and nurturing an identity that doesn't revolve around anyone else—is a skill we all need to master in our lives, just as being with others is. Neither of those skills should be left to atrophy in a lifetime. Whenever you FEEL lonely in life, it's wise to ask which of those two things you've been neglecting. 

The second part of "learn to be alone when you're together and together when you're alone" is the ability to carry another in your heart and consider them even if they're not there. Again, you don't want to be so dependent on someone that you have to be with them physically to feel their love, nor do you want to be so independent that they and their needs cease to exist when you're not together. But you do want to be able to venture out in your aloneness without feeling lonely. 

As a person who spends a lot of time alone, being together when you're alone is important in any kind of relationship. When you're navigating life as a single person, it's easy to feel alone when you're not. There are plenty of people out there to reach out to if you let yourself do that. 

Ultimately, the words on this Hermit card sum it up, "what is bliss, and which the way?" Bliss can happen in many ways in our lives. It can come through another and it can also come through ourselves. We owe it to ourselves and others to nourish and model both ways. Both are tools essential to life. 

7/13/12—Caring For and Nurturing Love

Today's Draw: The Emperor from the Pen Tarot. Have you ever taken responsibility for anything from birth to death? Do you realize you are the architect of your own emotions? And do you know love never needs to be returned to be felt?

Rounding out "How to Feel More Love" week is the Emperor, the visionary, the builder, the divine masculine. The poem included with this card is from David Everett:

Large streams from little fountains flow,

Tall oaks from little acorns grow.

The Emperor has the gift of seeing the stream in the fountain and the oak in the acorn. From there, he creates what he sees. So if, even after all the stuff we've talked about this week, you still want to feel more love in your life, envision it and create it. 

Look, a lot of what helps or hinders our experience of love is in the brain anyway. As I've said a few times, the love you want to feel is probably already there anyway. You're just not acknowledging it. Once you find even a hint of love, placing attention on it can bring it from acorn to oak. But if you still don't feel enough love, then envision what you need and take the necessary steps to bring it into your life. 

I keep talking about giving love this week, too. And the reason I keep saying that is that you can't give love without feeling love. You can feel just as much love by giving it as you can by receiving it. Love is felt by both parties in both directions. So the fastest way to feel the kind of love you want you in your life is to give it. It's an experience you're completely self-sufficient in. The love you give doesn't have to be received or acknowledged for it to be felt by you. 

Beyond that, the Emperor is the masculine side of nurturing. So if you want to feel more love, why not take care of something? Provide for it. It could be an orchid, a '57 Chevy or a hermit crab. Be its caretaker and provider and give your care and provision with love. Again, nothing has to love you back in order for you to feel love. Sure, it's nice. But you can feel love by nurturing inanimate objects, too. You feel it in the giving of yourself. 

If you haven't ever cared for a living thing throughout its lifecycle, now may be a time to experience that. I know a few people who have never had children or owned pets or even so much as tended a plant. But I believe the ultimate expression of love comes from being there for something throughout its life. One way to break into this is to raise tomatoes. You can raise them from seed, eat them when they're ripe and cut them down when they're dead, then rework the soil for new cycle of life. Tending to them by staking them and making sure they have enough water is something you can do with love.

This tough girl taught me unconditional love.

Another way is by committing to a pet. I met my first dog, Passion, when she was three months old. I raised her. Nursed her through major hip surgery. Helped her adjust to adding a second dog to the house. Protected her from harm. And was her constant companion throughout her life. In exchange, she taught me the lesson of unconditional love.

Anyway, when Passion was 10, she collapsed suddenly and I rushed her to the vet. She really hadn't shown any signs of anything, other than aging. She was a 100lb dog, so 10 was old. The vet told me she had cancer and might not live through the night. She sent us home for one last night together. We spent it in each other's arms. Neither of us really slept. We just talked about old times and the Rainbow Bridge and we nuzzled each other. Then the next day I held her as she died from the drugs the vet gave her to put her to sleep. 

It was the saddest, most beautiful moment of my life. There is no privilege greater than to keep your promise to a creature to take care of them every day of their life...to be their forever mommy. There has been no love greater in my life than what is shown by the trust my dogs have put in me to do that for them...to make the major decisions in their lives and be the one that carries on so they never have to worry about anything. The love given and received and felt in that exchange is extraordinary, as is the love of watching your own seed grow and mature and become independent, as parents do, I'm sure. I can't imagine what that is like, having never experienced it.

So that's the lesson the Emperor brings. Create something and take full responsibility for it, during good times and bad. Not only that, however, but recognize it as the act of love it is...feel the love you give, and feel how just the feeling of love gives back beyond your wildest imagining.