6/11/13—Making Love Your Crowning Influence

Today's Draw: King of Cups in the Crowning Influences position from the Art of Life Tarot and the Deck of 1000 Spreads. Do you find yourself choosing things over love? Could you be making more choices that lead to love than you're making now? What is the crowning influence in your life?

After about 1000 Daily Draw posts, I consider myself an expert on the one-card draw. And the Art of Life is my absolutely favorite one-card draw deck. I think part of it is because it's a non-traditional deck, part of it is the quotes (I'm a word person, after all) and part of it is the very interesting way it has of making me think. 

Crowning Influences are influences we're usually aware of that come to bear on whatever situation we're reading about. They're usually pretty major influences. And obvious ones, too. But sometimes the thing that is most obvious is the thing we tend to discount. 

This painting is a self portrait of Paul Gauguin. I did a quick Wikipedia read on him to find that, just before cutting his ear off, Van Gogh came at Gauguin with a razor blade. That's kind of interesting. He attacked Gauguin and then ran off to a brothel and cut his ear. 

Gauguin's art was not respected in his day, but he became quite famous after his death (a lifestyle blend of syphilis, alcohol and morphine did him in at 54). He ultimately inspired an entire generation of artists, including Van Gogh, Matisse and Picasso, and styles including cubism and even the American Arts and Crafts movement. 

All of that is beside the point, however. I just thought it was interesting. :D The real point, the crowing point, is that it is better to be loved than rich or powerful. One thing that I think surprised many people when my brother died, was how many people cared about him. His funeral was standing room only. Hundreds of people showed up to pay their respects. There were teams of boys he coached, their families, the people he worked with, neighbors...I don't think anyone ever knows how many lives they touch. I don't think my brother knew. He wasn't rich. He wasn't always strong. But like the King of Cups, he was loved. 

Think of yourself and those around you. Do you live your days to give and receive love? Or do live it to keep the hamster wheel moving forward? You can do both, I suppose. Being self employed, I'm in a good position to stop in the middle of the day and check in on my dogs. Have one of my Kizzie snuggles. He gives the best snuggles. 

Though, while I'm getting better at it in my later years, I have to say I focus on the money and "standing" to the detriment of self love and love of others. We think we'll always have time to get around to love, but "this project" has a deadline of now. So "this project" is what gets the attention. And so on. And we never get around to love. What is probably God's highest priority for us is the priority we place after all others. How screwed up is that? And how well is that working for our happiness?

Like my brother, I don't think any of us realize how many people out there count on/hope for/cherish our love and acceptance. If you feel like you don't receive nearly as much love as you might like, consider everyone else feels the same way. The best way I know to receive love is to give it. It's usually so appreciated that it's returned. Sure, there are some incapable of receiving and returning. But give it anyway. It may not come back from them, but it will come back. 

Money, power, fame...all of that feels good in the moment, but the feeling fades. However, the memory of being loved is one of those things that pops up while you're sitting in traffic, while you're grabbing a coffee...it never leaves your side. It lives beyond the moment and, as I've observed with my brother's family, lives on long after you die. So keep that in mind next time you have a choice between work and family...prestige and pets. We all have to earn a living. But that's not why we're here. Love should always be the crowning influence in our lives.

5/16/13—Taking the Hardest Step

Today's Draw Classic*: Two of Wands from the Art of Life Tarot. Are you ready to leave a part of yourself behind? Have you made the decision to make it happen yet? Or are you still not ready to leave the comfort of where you are?

Today you get a classic post because I'll be guesting on an internet radio program during the time I usually write this post. If you want to listen, the show will be archived. Click this text to listen. 

Now to today's draw...The Two of Wands is a card of surveying possibilities and making plans. But sometimes we can get stuck in the process of surveying, planning, dreaming, envisioning and wishing, and never end up moving forward. And the reason for that is the J. P. Morgan quote on today's card:

"The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are."

It sounds so simple, but it's really kind of hard. Where we are is predictable. It's safe. It's easy. We know how to maneuver it. And it keeps us in our "story"...the one we discussed yesterday. 

We have grand visions of where we want to go. We put our energy into looking forward. And it would great if we could close the door on who we are once we've landed safely in who we want to be. But we can't. We have to leap into that in-between world where one door is closed and the other is not yet open. 

There are times I'm very willing to enter that realm. And there are other times I cling to tightly to where I am out of fear of either the failure or success of who I want to be. At times like that, it's good to be reminded that we can't step forward without making that decision to lift one foot up and leave where we've been resting for so long. 

And the word "decision" is key. It's the difference between "trying" and "doing". Once you've made a decision, you have to move forward. The good news is that it's usually the hardest single step you'll make on the way to your dreams. 

*Taken from a post on 11/27/12

5/14/13—Checking In With Your Superpower

Today's Draw: Strength from the Art of Life Tarot in the Lesson position from the Deck of 1000 Spreads. What superpowers have you developed in your lifetime? Are they impervious to attack? Or could something quietly worm its way in just enough for a speck of kryptonite to flow in?

I have this really cool superpower. I can allow certain types of thoughts and fears (certainly not all types...I'm not THAT good) to pass through my mind with non-judgment. By that, I mean that instead of entertaining a fear and allowing it to swirl out of control in my head, I can note it and let it flow out of my head as quickly as it flowed in. I don't judge it true or false, good or bad, scary or pleasant. It is what it is. A thought.

This is a superpower, because I used to be one of those people who over thinks things and worries and allows fears to take over. Then through divine means (and a long-lived meditation practice combined with conscious discipline), I found myself nearly impervious to fear-based, catastrophic thinking when it came to money, my career, my creative talents and other aspects of the professional part of my life. I did this just in time to become a freelance writer, supporting a rag-tag pack of dogs through two recessions and countless other challenges. 

See, there are consultants who get gigs that last for six months with guaranteed income. Then there are consultants who earn their mortgage a quarter-hour at a time. I'm the latter. It can be hard to survive as the latter in a competitive, uncertain landscape like advertising. I know of very few people in the marketplace who have lasted as long as I (as an aging single person in a young man's game with no other stream of income or support.) I say all of this not to brag, but to paint a picture of how truly awesome my superpower is, and yet how vulnerable it can be under the right conditions. 

See, this weekend I was minding my own business when I inadvertently allowed a couple of fear-based, self defeating thoughts to creep into my head in regard to my capability, competence and future as a creative writer. It's not like I came into contact with kryptonite or anything. It was the same kind of stimuli that had bounced off my brain of steel many times in the past. But somehow, something breached the perimeter and started working on me. So the timing of this Strength card with the Francis Bacon quote, "He knows not his own strength that hath not met adversity," is perfect. It reminds me why certain things happen. Without being tested you forget a superpower is a superpower. 

Ordinary powers are made to be weakened and compromised. Those tests are usually obvious...the invitation to the candy gala right after you give up sweets for lent. But superpower tests have to be sneaky. They must appear non-threatening and insignificant. Then, once inside your head, they swell up like a tick, feeding on your confidence until one day, boom!, your brain explodes. :D

Adversity comes to us for a reason. It shows us where we've left ourselves open...or where we've lost our vigilance. It's the first Seal Team...the one that opens the door just wide enough for the second Seal Team to roll the kryptonite in. So this weekend I had some pre-adversity. It didn't really work. I was over it by today. But it was working on working. 

For you it could be the thought that sends you in a downward spiral toward depression...don't entertain that first thought. Or it could be the conflict that makes you think about smoking after 20 years...close the door and lock it. Or it could be something that sends you back into the arms of a toxic old lover. It could be anything. But it will come with a whisper first...a whisper subtle enough to charm the door open for your kryptonite to roll in. 

On one hand, the whisper seems evil and divisive. But in actuality it's the Jor-El to your Kal-El (look at me and my Superman geek talk!) It's an early warning system that could keep you out of more dire circumstances ahead—adversity enough to keep you forever connected to your own super-human strengths. 

4/23/13—Seeking Abundance

Today's Draw Classic*: The Ten of Pentacles from the Art of Life Tarot. Are your time and energy eaten by things you don't enjoy? Do have enough time to do the things you enjoy? Is it time for a priority makeover?

The quote on this card from John Petit Senn reads, "Not what we have, but what we enjoy constitutes our abundance." This quote is accompanied (haha) by a Renoir of two girls playing the piano, just living life. 

We're raised and socialized to work hard so that we'll have "enough". And as soon as we have enough, we see a different "enough" that we need to have. And so on. We don't even think about it. Our quest is automatic. Either that, or we're afraid we won't have enough "if"...if we lose our jobs, if the stock market crashes, whatever. So we hoard and always feel we need more. It's like we've been programmed to think of abundance in terms of money and things, when it's really about experiences and feelings. 

Today I was thinking about how I have "enough" to take care of this third dog (*this was originally written before I adopted Mystic*) for as long as I'm fostering her. I have enough money, patience, love. And I was also thinking about what I gotten in return. I get to a hero in this little girl's life. And I get to be her surrogate until her real mommy comes along. PLUS I get Kizzie and Magick. And my Best Clients Ever™ and Best Job Ever®. AND I got a really special email from a friend today. 

And the literal icing on the cake was that I saw these Pillsbury orange sweet rolls at the Safeway. I NEVER buy stuff like that, but I decided to today. I checked the date on the can and I had until late November to eat them. So I figured I'd save them for just the right craving. And you know what? I dropped them on the ground getting them out of my car and the tube ever so slightly popped. They would have to be baked pronto or rot!

Is my life great or what??! But it's not like I'm being showered with money while in a hot tub with a nekkid Gilles Marini or anything like that. It's just a normal, ordinary day. No windfalls or surprise packages in the mail. Just the stuff I love all around me. 

I remember when I first moved into my house. I was really good at keeping everything neat, clean and trim. But then I realized, I hated being neat, clean and trim. I'd rather be doing something else. This was a case of putting what I had in front of what I enjoy. This house? It's just a thing. A really ADORABLE thing that I love, but just a thing. If I had to choose between this house and my dogs...this house and my career...this house and my hobbies....this house and my spirituality...this house would lose. 

So, assuming I do the needed upkeep, who cares if the windows need washing? Who cares if the bushes out front are a little bushy? I realized one day that I never even look at my house from the outside...haha. My neighbors do, but I don't. So I should be breaking my back for THEIR view? I hired yard dudes. I do the gardening once or twice a year...enough to keep me from being the scourge of the neighborhood. I fix what's broken. Replace what's old. And let perfection slide....so I can focus on what I enjoy. The people across the street? They enjoy their yardwork. So they're out there every weekend doing it. And I get a good view of their yard while I'm in here enjoying all manner of writing, crafting and whatnot. 

So think about some of the things that are eating your time and energy. Do you enjoy them? Or is there something you'd rather be doing? Trust me, you don't HAVE to clean the house this weekend. Just don't invite anyone over next week and no one will be the wiser. Fill yourself with the abundance of enjoying what you and I'll bet you won't even care. 

*Taken from 9/26/12

2/16/13-2/17/13—Spreading the Love

Weekend Reading: Six of Pentacles from the Art of Life Tarot. If you're feeling blue, lacking inspiration, afraid of the future. unhappy at home or concerned about the plight of the panda bear, nothing will make you feel better than doing something kind for someone else. We are all given an inexhaustible supply of wealth at birth. Our currency is our grace. And every time we "spend" our grace, grace flows back our way. Whether you hold a door open for someone on crutches, buy a homeless person a sandwich or just allow someone to be "right", go looking for things to spend your grace on this weekend. Heck, even just flashing a person a smile can spend ripples of goodwill through the universe. So make a game of it. Spread the love throughout your community and be prepared for love to spread back to you. 

1/16/13—Bringing The Sunshine

Today's Draw: Three of Cups from the Art of Life Tarot. When you do things for others, does it make you happy yourself? What little bits of sunshine do you like to sprinkle in the lives of others? What can you do in the next day or so to make others smile?

The Three of Cups is a card that traditionally speaks of celebration and friendships. That theme is depicted here in Renoir's Luncheon of the Boating Party. The quote from Sir J.M. Barrie reads:

"Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves."

Of course, the easiest way to bring sunshine into someone's life is to simply flash them a smile. There are many studies that prove just the act of smiling alone can make you happier. In one that I found from Scientific American, they actually injected botox into women's faces to make it impossible for them to frown. Turns out the women who couldn't frown were happier than the ones who could...haha. 

There are also studies that support the idea that smiling is contagious (you can find links to these studies on my blog.) So put the two together and your smile makes you happy, it has a tendency to make others smile back, and that makes them happy. So Sir J.M. Barrie's quote can be proven correct. 

I think anytime we give something of ourselves we create the possibility for a similar loop of happiness. A couple of months back Ciro Marchetti developed a new Lenormand deck and hid his initials in every illustration. I have no doubt doing that gave him the giggles. And people are having fun finding all the hidden gems. 

In fact, the Luncheon of the Boating Party (which I always thought was called The Launching of the Boating Party!) is an example of this kind of fun, too. Renior had a habit of including his friends in his paintings and the lady in the foreground making kissy face with the dog would become his future wife. Of course it must have been fun for all the people pictured and all who knew them, but 100 years later it's a fun piece of trivia to know. This isn't just an iconic painting, it's a slice of Renoir's life...a gift of himself for the ages. 

That's how I feel about crafting. I'd much rather have something homemade than store bought. Handmade items contain "the sunshine of others". 

So all this begs the question...what can you do to bring sunshine into the lives of others, and to yourself? Yes, you can smile, but what else? What other little piece of yourself can you put into your day? And it doesn't even have to be a piece of yourself. It can be a jar of candy on your desk at the office or bringing in a special coffee blend for the coffee maker. What sunshine can you bring to yourself and others today/tomorrow?

1/7/12—Becoming What You Might Have Been

Today's Draw: Page of Wands from the Art of Life Tarot. What limitations were assumed of you before you even got to know your possibilities? What might have been different in your life had you not believed those limitations? What are you willing to believe of yourself moving forward?

I love the quote from George Eliot on today's card, "it's never too late to be what you might have become." And who better than Mary Anne Evans (aka George Eliot) to deliver that message? She wrote some of the Victorian age's most popular novels—Mill on the Floss, Silas Marner and Middlemarch—under a male name to ensure her work was taken seriously...to ensure that she would be what she might have become had she not been subject to stereotype about the kind of literature a woman could create. 

I was lucky to grow up with a mother with a successful "man's" career. Her generation was really the first to take the risks of entering a man's world and it forged new possibilities for women. She never allowed the fact that she was a woman to limit her career, but she *was* limited by the fact that she was the mother of six kids and the wife of a high-ranking officer...a wife that's expected to entertain and lead "the ladies". Put it all together, though, and she totally worked her overall potential...successful career, marriage and family. That's rarely truly achieved today, much less in the '60s and '70s. 

So I grew up believing there really were no limitations based on the fact that I was a woman. But in other areas of my life, my parents and my environment offered clues that there were some dreams that just weren't in the cards for me. And just as I bought into knowing that being a woman wouldn't limit me, I bought into believing that there were other aspects of who I was that would. 

This isn't my "cry me a river" story. I think it's the story of every person reading this blog. Maybe you were too short to be taken seriously. Too pretty to be appreciated for your brains. Too opinionated to play the role of a mediator. Too independent to work for the government. Too poor to get out of the 'hood. Or may just not "good enough" at something to be a success at it. 

I doubt any parent or teacher or sibling or other influential person meant to do it. But before you got a chance to really even explore your options for yourself, someone or some situation came around to tell you who you were and who you weren't. What you were suited for and what you weren't. They may not have even said it to your face, but you knew it was there. Concern over your grades. Worries about how you never had any friends. Fears about you being too wild. And this became part of your story for however long. 

So this is what I've been thinking about recently. I have a strong feeling that 2013 is when a lot of things are really going to coalesce for me. And for me to take full advantage of the opportunities that may come my way, I need to determine the amount of truth in some of the things I've been brought to believe—and have chosen to continue to believe—about myself. 

Childhood psychology and modern thought indicate that the things that happen in your life prior to the age of 8 or 10 pretty much shape everything thereafter. So, for example, the loss of a parent at four might have far more wide-reaching effects on who you are than the loss of a parent at the age 13. Both are tragic and pack impact, but your ability to process the impact in healthier ways grows as you do. 

So these things that happen during those impressionable years have a tendency to stick. And, having lived with those beliefs for decades, we may not ever question them. But we should, because chances are those beliefs and limitations are a reflection of someone else's fears about us than actual facts. For every limitation out there, there's someone who bucked it. 

Certainly Oprah heard many times that her weight would keep her from succeeding...or her poor upbringing would keep her from being accepted by a certain part of society. She even tells a story about how her grandmother taught her to scrub floors in preparation for her life as a black woman in American society. I'm sure Oprah's not devoid of false limitations, but she completely defied the most obvious ones. Because she got that they weren't about her. They were about everyone else's fears and limitations.  

So think about the things that are holding you back, whether they're physical, psychological, social, societal, financial or whatever. And really try to trace that belief back to its origins. Is it true? If it was true then, is it true today? And think also about "what you might have been" if it weren't something deemed silly or impractical or impossible at one time in your life. You may find that false beliefs based on someone else's life view could be holding you back from what you might have been. And, like George/Mary Anne says, it's never too late to right that wrong. 

12/1/12-12/2/12—Going for It

Weekend Reading: King of Wands from the Art of Life Tarot. Don't think too hard about whether or not you want to follow your passion this weekend. Have the confidence to go for it. Someone is going to get the brass ring. It may as well be you. 

11/27/12—Taking the Hardest Step

Today's Draw: Two of Wands from the Art of Life Tarot. Are you ready to leave a part of yourself behind? Have you made the decision to make it happen yet? Or are you still not ready to leave the comfort of where you are?

The Two of Wands is a card of surveying possibilities and making plans. But sometimes we can get stuck in the process of surveying, planning, dreaming, envisioning and wishing, and never end up moving forward. And the reason for that is the J. P. Morgan quote on today's card:

"The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are."

It sounds so simple, but it's really kind of hard. Where we are is predictable. It's safe. It's easy. We know how to maneuver it. And it keeps us in our "story"...the one we discussed yesterday. 

We have grand visions of where we want to go. We put our energy into looking forward. And it would great if we could close the door on who we are once we've landed safely in who we want to be. But we can't. We have to leap into that in-between world where one door is closed and the other is not yet open. 

There are times I'm very willing to enter that realm. And there are other times I cling to tightly to where I am out of fear of either the failure or success of who I want to be. At times like that, it's good to be reminded that we can't step forward without making that decision to lift one foot up and leave where we've been resting for so long. 

And the word "decision" is key. It's the difference between "trying" and "doing". Once you've made a decision, you have to move forward. The good news is that it's usually the hardest single step you'll make on the way to your dreams. 

11/20/12—Finding Your Eternity

Today's Draw: The Fool from the Art of Life Tarot. Do you think it's wise to "launch yourself on every wave"? How many times can you say you've consciously been in touch with "your eternal self"? Have you ever had a totally deep or meaningful thought as you're drifting off to sleep, only to forget it upon waking? And, bonus question, did you actually remember it on waking and, if so, what was the thought?

About a week or so ago, I had a thought as I was drifting off to sleep...or maybe I was dreaming...but I remember thinking, "OMG, the next time I draw the Fool card, I've got to talk about THAT. We've never talked about THAT before and it's the key to EVERYTHING!"

Well, we're not going to talk about that today. Because I can't remember what it was....haha. And I can't tell you how many times I've tried to recall what it is. It's been EATING at me. It's like dreaming about the meaning of your life or the reason why we're all here and not being able to remember. Gah!!!

So whatever it was that I thought or dreamed of, it's not what we're going to talk about today. But the funny thing is that this Fool card comes with a quote from Henry David Thoreau that is pretty close to delivering one of those deep life secrets we're all searching for: 

"You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment."

We talk a lot about being fully present in the moment on this blog. That's what living in the present is about...living in this moment. Not a moment that happened five minutes from now, not one that may happen five years from now, but being absorbed fully in this precise moment—a moment without a past or present, a moment where you're not distracted by anything else, a moment that contains only now and the million possibilities that exist within it. 

These are the moments where you lose all sense of time and space...you're impervious to mundane demands...you're totally in the flow. In this moment, you don't have to pay bills, go to the doctor, lose 20 lbs, etc. You're not held to a pattern from the past or obligations in the future. All of that is for other moments. In this moment you and life are exactly right as they should be. 

Launching yourself on every wave is not far off from what we spoke of yesterday in our Being Your Own Hero essay. You grab life as it comes to you, rather than allowing it to grab you and steer your way. Surfers wait for the perfect wave to come. This is asking you to taste of every opportunity that comes your way. Eat the full smorgasbord of life. 

But the last bit of the quote is perhaps the juiciest. Find your eternity in each moment. See, that's the whole POINT of living in the moment. Because when you're in the moment, you're in the groove with the all of what is, you're in union with god and grace. You're walking through life hand-in-hand with your eternal self. Your divine self. Even if, in this moment, you're being arrested. Or insulted. You can be in the moment with it...find your eternity in that moment. 

Imagine, just for a minute, that you KNEW you were an eternal being. Knew it in every cell within your body. How would that change the frustrating or annoying situation you had earlier today? If you knew that nothing could destroy you, nothing could cut you short or cheat you out of anything. If you had the perspective of your soul or higher self, rather than just the perspective of your current incarnation?

On the one hand, we probably need the "deadline" of having, say, 80 years to work on our life's lessons, whatever they may be. Because if we knew we really had eternity to solve all those issues, we might take this lifetime off. But understanding the big ball of eternal grace that each of us is, could be game changing in our lives...in the way we deal with ourselves and others. And it all begins with putting ourselves in the one state that is truly eternal, this very moment. 

What do you see in the Fool's quote?

11/17/12-11/18/12—Following the Real Spirit of the Season

Weekend Reading: The Star from the Art of Life Tarot. This weekend's card features Van Gogh's Starry Night with a quote from Dante Alighieri that reads, "if thou follow thy star, thou canst not fail of a glorious heaven." And so it will be for you this weekend. Follow your soul. And if you don't know how to do that, follow your bliss. And if you don't know what that is, move in the direction that gives you butterflies and giggles. Sure, it's the weekend before a holiday. And the stress for holiday shopping and preparations is on. But that's how life is going to be for the next six weeks. Start tapping into your bliss now and don't let all the seasonal BS get the better of you! 

9/26/12—Seeking Abundance

Today's Draw: The Ten of Pentacles from the Art of Life Tarot. Are your time and energy eaten by things you don't enjoy? Do have enough time to do the things you enjoy? Is it time for a priority makeover?

The quote on this card from John Petit Senn reads, "Not what we have, but what we enjoy constitutes our abundance." This quote is accompanied (haha) by a Renoir of two girls playing the piano, just living life. 

We're raised and socialized to work hard so that we'll have "enough". And as soon as we have enough, we see a different "enough" that we need to have. And so on. We don't even think about it. Our quest is automatic. Either that, or we're afraid we won't have enough "if"...if we lose our jobs, if the stock market crashes, whatever. So we hoard and always feel we need more. It's like we've been programmed to think of abundance in terms of money and things, when it's really about experiences and feelings. 

Today I was thinking about how I have "enough" to take care of this third dog for as long as I'm fostering her. I have enough money, patience, love. And I was also thinking about what I gotten in return. I get to a hero in this little girl's life. And I get to be her surrogate until her real mommy comes along. PLUS I get Kizzie and Magick. And my Best Clients Ever™ and Best Job Ever®. AND I got a really special email from a friend today. 

And the literal icing on the cake was that I saw these Pillsbury orange sweet rolls at the Safeway. I NEVER buy stuff like that, but I decided to today. I checked the date on the can and I had until late November to eat them. So I figured I'd save them for just the right craving. And you know what? I dropped them on the ground getting them out of my car and the tube ever so slightly popped. They would have to be baked pronto or rot!

Is my life great or what??! But it's not like I'm being showered with money while in a hot tub with a nekkid Gilles Marini or anything like that. It's just a normal, ordinary day. No windfalls or surprise packages in the mail. Just the stuff I love all around me. 

I remember when I first moved into my house. I was really good at keeping everything neat, clean and trim. But then I realized, I hated being neat, clean and trim. I'd rather be doing something else. This was a case of putting what I had in front of what I enjoy. This house? It's just a thing. A really ADORABLE thing that I love, but just a thing. If I had to choose between this house and my dogs...this house and my career...this house and my hobbies....this house and my spirituality...this house would lose. 

So, assuming I do the needed upkeep, who cares if the windows need washing? Who cares if the bushes out front are a little bushy? I realized one day that I never even look at my house from the outside...haha. My neighbors do, but I don't. So I should be breaking my back for THEIR view? I hired yard dudes. I do the gardening once or twice a year...enough to keep me from being the scourge of the neighborhood. I fix what's broken. Replace what's old. And let perfection slide....so I can focus on what I enjoy. The people across the street? They enjoy their yardwork. So they're out there every weekend doing it. And I get a good view of their yard while I'm in here enjoying all manner of writing, crafting and whatnot. 

So think about some of the things that are eating your time and energy. Do you enjoy them? Or is there something you'd rather be doing? Trust me, you don't HAVE to clean the house this weekend. Just don't invite anyone over next week and no one will be the wiser. Fill yourself with the abundance of enjoying what you and I'll bet you won't even care. 

8/8/12—Becoming One With Oneness

Today's Draw:  Two of Wands from the Art of Life Tarot. Are you sometimes impulsive about the way you think about others? Do you find yourself "sizing people up" the minute you meet them? How can you change the way you think about others to be even more inclusive than you already are?

It's Day 3 of Oneness Week (which by the way, can be tongue twisting if you say it multiple times fast) and the Art of Life is going to make it easy on us. First, oneness is a term about seeing yourself in others...seeing the similarities in all others, rather the differences. Over the past two days you've done a lot of soul searching and seen how certain ways you've been thinking add to the very issues you abhor in this world. If you don't believe me, go back and read the entries. We all agreed it's all YOUR fault. :D

So now that we've determined that, what do we do about it? Well, the Art of Life has an answer for us with a quote from J. P. Morgan: 

"The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are."

Simple, but profound. 

So that's our first step—to make a decision to not continue seeing others as separate from us, whether they're criminals, movie stars or a little of both. And the second step is hidden in the Wands aspect of the cards which, by the way, all three of our cards this week have been. 

Among other things, wands are about passion and impulse control. So now that you've recognized "certain types of people" that annoy you or that you label with unflattering terms, stop...haha. When you see yourself going down that path, re-adjust your thoughts. See the other as you. List all the things you have in common. Put your passionate side aside and see them as they ARE...360 degrees, and not just the angle it's convenient to see them from in order to make yourself the one who's superior in the dynamic.

For example, maybe you hate "people who complain all the time" and consider yourself separate from them. Set aside the fact that complaining about people who complain all the time makes you a complainer. We won't even go into that. But consider that they're human like you. They want a happy life, like you. Maybe they have kids like you, and have the same dreams for those children as you. They have good taste for furniture, like you....etc. See how it works? You stop the negative thought about the person and see them as yourself. They're really just like you except that they complain about things....while you silently swallow the poison of that which annoys you without comment...haha. 

We've all developed habits over a lifetime of thinking in terms of good and evil, mean and nice, valuable and worthless, black and white, smart or stupid....dualistic thinking where you're either one or the other. Further, we tend to see ourselves as the favorable one, while the other one is less favorable. Someone cuts us off in traffic and they're rude, arrogant, SOBs who probably kick their dogs, right? Well, maybe they're just like you, but with a bit of a control issue that you don't have at all, because you tried everything in your power, short of wrecking the car, to keep him out of your lane and he still barged in anyway, control-hungry SOB. Controlling people are the worst!

The truth is, none of us are good OR bad. We're all shades of gray. And while there are shades and tints, gray is gray. The prisons are full of people a couple shades more desperate than you are. Forbes billionaire's list is filled with people a couple shades more resilient than you are. The Westbrook Baptist Church is filled with people a couple of shades more closed minded than you are. There are situations in life in which you're desperate, resilient and closed minded and all things desirable and repulsive. Some hover closer to the poles on the dualistic scales than others. But none of us walks through this life being entirely one thing or the other. And if we've consciously put forth effort to get closer to a more desirable behavior, then we really can't judge anyone who's not quite "there" yet.

Whether "monster" or "angel", we're all the very same spirit in human form, just with different lessons to learn and paths to walk in this incarnation. And everyone that crosses your path is there to help you on your path and reflect back a part of yourself you may be in denial of. 

These principles and the idea of oneness isn't something you master overnight. I've been working on it for years and there are still people I see as separate from me...there are still groups I struggle with. That said, over time, I've swallowed some very big pills and accepted people into my heart and my self awareness (but not my life...this isn't about being besties with everyone) that I haven't really wanted to. But that's when you know you're reaching beyond and learning a lesson. 

What it's all about is a mantra exercise I mentioned a couple of weeks back. When Moses asked God his name, he said "I am that I am". And the mantra exercise goes like this...you identify yourself as everything and everyone you see. "I am that tree, I am." And by that, perhaps you embody the similarity of the tree's ability to bend with the wind with your own, for example. "I am that stream, I am (because we both flow with life's direction.)" "I am that traffic cutter-offer, I am (because sometimes I interrupt others when they don't want me to.)" See how it works? There is common ground everywhere you look. And when there's common ground, nothing is separate from you. 

7/17/12—Seeing the Wow of the Tao

Today's Draw: Queen of Swords from Art of Life Tarot. How powerful do you feel in your world? What will make you happy that you don't already have? Are you ready to find your Tao?

This week's topic is the ego. Yesterday I told you what the ego is—essentially looking outside yourself for motivation and self-value. But one thing I didn't say (which a wise woman reminded me of today) is that the goal of the spiritual seeker isn't to eradicate ego entirely. We are human and ego is a necessary part of the human experience. 

However, when we identify ourselves by external means—when our jobs, possessions, reputation, etc. become our source of power—we separate ourselves from our greatest source of power. And that's what today's card is all about. The card contains a quote from Lao Tzu that says:

"Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you."

Taking this at face value, if you can be happy with what you have and the way things are, it naturally follows that nothing is lacking and you have everything you need. But that's taking it at face value. There's something much deeper in this quote because it comes from Lao Tzu, the father of Taoism. 

You've probably heard of the Tao before (pronounced "Dow"). The Tao is a hard word to pin down. It literally means "the path" or "the way". But it also refers to the source and creator behind all that exists. For Taoists, that source comes more from an interconnectedness than a physical God. I think of it as akin more to the idea of the "the universe" than a Judeo/Christian image of God. One of the first things Lao Tzu tells us about the Tao is that "the Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao". So ultimately, it cannot be defined in words or understood with logic. It is better felt and sensed. 

The ego and the Tao are at odds. The Tao is all about entwining yourself with all creation in such a way that you are as if the same organism as creation. In the Tao, the source of power is within you. In fact it's everywhere, but the recognition of it within you is what creates the difference between ego and inner Tao. Because with the ego, the source of power is external. It's in what others see and think of you. Go too far in that direction and you lose sight of the Tao...the path to our higher being. 

So, "be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are" is essentially saying that the way things are is a gift god co-created just for you, with you. Because all of life is a co-creation between you and your god, you not separate from anything you need. Because your god is everywhere and you are entwined with it, the world belongs to you. You are not separate from anything you desire, because you are not separate from source of all creation. 

The ego mind separates you from god—creation is outside of you for you to seek and claim. And we all know that cycle...the second you get what you want, you want more. The Tao mind reminds you that all of the infinite abundance and recognition you need is already yours. Right this second, it exists in that Tao place where it can be felt and sensed. And if you want to hold it in your hands, then align with the Tao, understand the Tao and it will appear. Once you realize the power of that, you can create situations that fulfill, rather than situations that keep you wanting more.

In the way of the Tao (the principles of which are practiced in countless religions around the world) there is nothing we are separate from...no human condition, no desire, no deity, no acclaim, nothing. When Moses asked God his name, he replied "I am that I am". Take the word "that" and add anything to it. "I am that tree. I am." "I am that homeless man. I am." "I am that bird. I am." Practicing this type of meditation/mantra alone can bring you into alignment with the Tao.

If God is everything, then God is you. And if God is you, then you are that bird. You are. There is nothing separate from you. There is nothing to lack. The whole world already belongs to you. Which is WAY better than identifying with anything outside of yourself. When you walk this path, it starts out as a principle or a philosophy. Then it becomes real. And enduring. That is the value of taming the ego.

HELP! If the first three letters of your name are Rad and you usually come to my tarot meetups, please email me at schmedrake@yahoo.com. (I know your name, but don't want to print it for the world to see...haha)

6/16/12-6/17/12—Feeling Your Abundance

Weekend Reading: Queen of Pentacles from the Art of Life Tarot. The quote on the card says it all—true riches come from a contented mind. So this weekend put your worries aside and be wealthy of mind. Show gratitude for what you have. And practice being in the moment. In this moment there is so much to be grateful for. In this very moment, there is nothing lacking...no creditor ringing your phone, no child tugging at your pants leg. There is just you and life and the moment. In this moment, you have everything you need to fully, richly, blissfully experience this moment! We spend so much time wishing for riches and alluring new lovers, but the one thing everyone wants more is just to be happy...to be content. The mistake comes in thinking anything of those things can do that for you. Only you can do that for you...by putting aside the things that clutter your mind and just enjoying this one moment of wonderful life. Then another. And another. Can you feel the abundance flowing?

5/17/12—Making Beautiful Memories

Today's Draw: Six of Cups from the Art of Life Tarot. What are your three most treasured memories? How often do you indulge in thinking about them? What do you suppose those memories say about you?

Today's card features a portrait of Mrs. Monet and is called The Red Kerchief by Claude Monet. The quote on the card is from Sir JM Barrie and it reads, "God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December."

This got me thinking...if everything were stripped of you except three memories—you got no possessions, no pictures, nothing else—what would those memories be?

Off the top of my head, one would involve a fist full of doggie fur, possibly Kizzie's thick mane. Holding him in my arms can always bring me to peace and balance. He is a born healer. 

Another memory for me would be one I wrote of the other day on my Facebook page. My mom was an avid reader and she would lay on her bed at night and read for hours. Sometimes I would crawl between her and her book and just lay there and think. She would hold her book in one hand and stroke my hair or hold me with the other, pausing only to turn pages. I always felt safe in her arms. 

Those two are for sure. The third one is hard. It would probably have to do with sex and that would probably have to do with Jack. Jack and I were bad for each other socially and emotionally, but our bodies fit together perfectly. Even when our relationship was bad, sex was good. And he wasn't bad to look at, either. So that might be my third.

I have to say I don't think of those memories very often. I thought of that with my mother recently because it was Mother's Day. She's been gone more than half my life, so memories are all I have of her. I do think of her often, but not daily. I rarely ever think of Jack, and even more rarely in a positive way. It was a very damaging relationship that happened a long time ago.

It's germinal to note that none of my favorite memories were of times when I was indulging in memories...haha. They all happened in times when I was fully present and experiencing the moment. So beautiful memories might be a fabulous place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there. Roses in December are only special when they're rare. Besides, how would I ever make another beautiful memory again?

5/16/12—Experiencing Love's Young Dream

Today's Draw: Knight of Cups from the Art of Life Tarot. Do you consider yourself a romantic? Do you like to fall madly, wonderfully in love? Or do you think that's the perfect recipe for heartbreak?

I chose the Art of Life Tarot again today partly because I'm really digging it, and partly because I'm so crazy busy right now that I don't have time to think. And it's sitting right here. The painting is called "The Lovers" and it's by Pal Szinyei Merse. The Thomas Moore quote reads, "There's nothing half so sweet in life as love's young dream."

*barf*

*popping a breath mint*

OK. So I'm not "a romantic". But it's more than that. I interpret "love's young dream" as being that time in the beginning of a relationship where everything is hunky dory and you're certain you've met the one for you. Thomas Moore is smart enough that if he meant "young love's dream", he would have said that. If he'd said that, I wouldn't have barfed, because that kind of innocence is sweet. But he said "love's young dream" and I think I'm way too cynical and old to experience THAT ever again.

They say humans have pretty crappy memories of pain. Which is why we're able to give birth over and over again. Because if we remembered how painful it was, we wouldn't do it again. Now, I know nothing of childbirth (thank god), but I'm thinking I might have a better memory of pain than most people. Because I experienced "love's young dream" once or twice, felt the ensuing pain as the dream crumbled to ash, and then I got wise.

Two people meet and things are going great. After a week or so, each thinks the other is the one they've been seeking all their lives. It's love at first sight! It's soul mates! It's happily ever after! Finally! I'm saved!

We create this fantasy inside our heads that sets our new-found love up for nothing but failure and disappointment. What man can live up to the fantasies we create during the "love's young dream" stage? What woman can? What relationship can?

Then, as we get to know the person and tarnish starts to build up, we wonder what happened to that great guy/gal we met? How come now that I love her/him, she's turned into a total beyotch/lazy-arsed bastard? HOW COME THIS KEEPS HAPPENING TO ME??

"Love's young dream" is why it keeps happening to you. You fell in love with a dream. You let your fantasies run away from you again. And now it's time to wake up and smell the toilet seat he forgot to put back down. Again.

Like I said, I think maybe I have a better pain memory than most. Sure, it's nice to get all giddy and feel the rush while it lasts. But if you're caught up in the adrenaline of that feeling, then you're not being pragmatic about this person you're with. And if you're not being realistic, then you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Why not just skip right to the disappointment? That way you don't resent him/her for not being your dream for the rest of your life.

I know I'm in the minority here. People would rather feel the rush, because it feels so good. But I'd rather be objective enough to know what I'm dealing with before I declare my forever love. Holding on to objectivity might be less fun in the short term, but serves you better in the long run. At least that's what I think. I'm the kind of person that would rather be alone than be with someone who "once felt right, but proved to be otherwise, but may still be right again, so I'll keep him just in case." Maybe that's the difference between me and someone more "romantic". Maybe they don't remember the pain as much, so they're willing to take chances I'm not. What do you think about all this?

5/15/12—Thanking You for Your Support

Today's Draw: Ten of Cups from the Art of Life Tarot. Who can you count on to always make you happy? Who or what "makes your soul blossom"? And is there someone you can think of to show gratitude toward today?

The Art of Life Tarot is a new deck that features classic paintings in conjunction with classic quotes. If you can't see the caption in the card, the painting is The Gardener's Daughter by Edward Henry Wehnert. And the quote from Marcel Proust reads, "Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."

If you're a regular reader, you know that my brother died a few weeks ago. And in the weeks leading up to his death and in those following it, I've been blessed by a number of people who have given me support. In lieu of mentioning names and possibly leaving someone out, I'll just speak to some of the kindnesses I've received. 

There was the old school buddy who listened to me, distracted me, confided in me and made me feel loved and cared for on the night my brother died. My brother died after midnight and this gentleman comforted me until the wee hours of the morning. That is a kindness I'll never forget because he had to be somewhere early that morning and he willingly and generously gave up his sleep to be there for me. 

Then there were the Facebook friends and readers of this blog who extended themselves in ways that make them more than Facebook friends and readers...sending cards, checking in on me regularly, lending an ear and just letting me know someone was thinking of me and feeling my pain. 

There was the childhood (and adulthood) friend who left a plant on my doorstep with a nice note just to brighten my day. Other childhood friends who sent cards with beautiful thoughts. The clients who put aside deadlines and expressed concern. The friends who listened to me whine about this and that. And all the literally more than a hundred people who offered their condolences on my Facebook page and through messages. 

Some of those people knew my brother in high school and shared their memories. A couple said that even though he was a jock and part of a "clique", he reached out to others and made them feel included and welcome. One was my brother's first love. I told him I was keeping her updated and he said to tell her that if she was hoping for one last fling, she'd better hurry. :D

In one situation, I found myself crying to a woman I'd ended a friendship with years ago, but who was still part of a group I'm part of. I know I hurt her feelings back then. I will never forget that she was there to listen to me and affirm me and be a friend. She didn't have to be. She should have rightly turned her back on me. But she didn't. She listened and took away some of my pain.

Then there was my sister, with whom I'm close anyway. We spent a lot of time consoling each other throughout the ordeal. And I mended/strengthened a relationship with my oldest brother throughout all of this. He and my deceased brother were best friends. So I'm so glad I was able to go through this together with him. And no list would be complete without Kizzie and Magick, my doggies, who both knew something was wrong because mommy was crying all the time. So they offered their fur and kisses to me without restriction.

It's easy at times of heartbreak to focus on what you've lost or what was lacking in a time of need. The momentum behind sadness can overtake you. But everywhere I turned, there was someone willing to hold me up. Some of those people were not people I was expecting to be there for me...some of them came from out of the blue. Some were people I'd never turned to before for support and they were there anyway. And some were people I expected to there for me and they didn't disappoint. I've made a couple of new friends from this, deepened some friendships and repaired others.

So what this is all coming to is gratitude for the people who have been tending the "garden of my soul" over the past couple of months...those who have weeded, watered and planted new seeds for me during an unusually difficult time—one that was shadowed by other stresses, not the least of which was my dog's surgery and recovery. It's not comfortable or pleasant to share another's pain, but you did that for me, whether you just offered your sympathies or made a point to check in on me and lend an ear. Thank you for being there for me. Your kindness was greatly appreciated and will always be remembered.