1/16/13—Bringing The Sunshine

Today's Draw: Three of Cups from the Art of Life Tarot. When you do things for others, does it make you happy yourself? What little bits of sunshine do you like to sprinkle in the lives of others? What can you do in the next day or so to make others smile?

The Three of Cups is a card that traditionally speaks of celebration and friendships. That theme is depicted here in Renoir's Luncheon of the Boating Party. The quote from Sir J.M. Barrie reads:

"Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves."

Of course, the easiest way to bring sunshine into someone's life is to simply flash them a smile. There are many studies that prove just the act of smiling alone can make you happier. In one that I found from Scientific American, they actually injected botox into women's faces to make it impossible for them to frown. Turns out the women who couldn't frown were happier than the ones who could...haha. 

There are also studies that support the idea that smiling is contagious (you can find links to these studies on my blog.) So put the two together and your smile makes you happy, it has a tendency to make others smile back, and that makes them happy. So Sir J.M. Barrie's quote can be proven correct. 

I think anytime we give something of ourselves we create the possibility for a similar loop of happiness. A couple of months back Ciro Marchetti developed a new Lenormand deck and hid his initials in every illustration. I have no doubt doing that gave him the giggles. And people are having fun finding all the hidden gems. 

In fact, the Luncheon of the Boating Party (which I always thought was called The Launching of the Boating Party!) is an example of this kind of fun, too. Renior had a habit of including his friends in his paintings and the lady in the foreground making kissy face with the dog would become his future wife. Of course it must have been fun for all the people pictured and all who knew them, but 100 years later it's a fun piece of trivia to know. This isn't just an iconic painting, it's a slice of Renoir's life...a gift of himself for the ages. 

That's how I feel about crafting. I'd much rather have something homemade than store bought. Handmade items contain "the sunshine of others". 

So all this begs the question...what can you do to bring sunshine into the lives of others, and to yourself? Yes, you can smile, but what else? What other little piece of yourself can you put into your day? And it doesn't even have to be a piece of yourself. It can be a jar of candy on your desk at the office or bringing in a special coffee blend for the coffee maker. What sunshine can you bring to yourself and others today/tomorrow?

8/9/12—Making Our Desires Official

Today's Draw: Three of Cups from the Witches Tarot. Do you ever use ceremony to help create change in your life? Do you involve others in the ceremonial process? What kind of things do you do in your ceremonies?

Today's entry is going to be a quickie, since I'm running short on time tonight. The topic is about how to move forward when you're in a holding pattern or ways to abide the feeling of being stuck. 

The Three of Cups is a card of friendship and good times. So one way to abide would be to get together with friends and take yourself out of your head for a while. Or, to get unstuck, get together with friends and brainstorm about what you should do to move forward. 

So those are two answers. But this is a witchy deck, so I would be remiss not to bring up the magical aspect of the number three. Three is a magic number. If you're going to wish, say your wish three times. If you want to manifest something, repeat it three times. And if you're going to create more energy behind your manifestation, do it with a total of three people present. 

Ceremony and "magic numbers" aren't just for witches. I'm not a witch, but I'm a huge fan of ceremony and when I write a wish down, I fold the paper in thirds and repeat the wish three times out loud. I also burn a lot of incense because the smoky stuff feels mystical to me. I usually light something on fire somewhere along the line...a piece of paper or maybe I use some special incense that goes up in flames. I tend to do my ceremonies alone, but I do believe that when two or more people are present, the increase in energy is not just additive, but exponential. We can accomplish more "magic" in groups than by our lonesome.

So if there's something specific that you want to accomplish, why not make a little ceremony around it? You can use the moon...bring things into your life when the moon is waxing or full...release things from your life when it's waning or dark. You can write something on a piece of paper and ceremonially tie it up in a bow...maybe put it under your pillow. You can release something by writing it on a rock and throwing it in the river. 

Whatever. Use your imagination. There are no rules to follow and you don't even have to do things in threes. Just do whatever feels sacred and right to you. Ceremony and saying something out loud makes it official in ways that can be truly inspiring. So start thinking about something special you can do to commemorate whatever it is you want to achieve or release in your life, then do something symbolic to show your commitment to it. 

2/8/12—Ending an Unhappy Situation

Today's Draw: Three of Birds from the Blue Dog Rose Tarot by Nakisha. Have you ever had someone despise you for no good reason? Have you ever been bullied away from something you otherwise love? Have you ever given up hope for a happy ending in favor of reaching the end of an unhappy situation?

In the Blue Dog Rose Tarot, birds are the suit of cups. A normal Three of Cups might show three women dancing in friendship and happiness. In this deck, it's a cockatiel with seeds. A happy little bird with a yummy dinner. The card represents a happy conclusion of something. But another note Nakisha put in there is "the mending of an unhappy situation", which is different from a happy ending.

So there's this person I see socially from time to time that literally won't acknowledge I exist. We're in a special-interest group that she leads. I know I've never done anything to rate this treatment—no cross words or anything like that. She doesn't like my personality for one reason or another and her way of getting rid of me is to not acknowledge me. It was one of those "hate at first sight" things. She's never been nice to me. If I say hello to her, she will look away. If I ask her a question, she will look straight at me, blink and turn away. No kidding. I've never encountered anything quite like it. This is a grown woman. 

Anyway, outside of her, I've been quite popular in this group....haha. As far as I know, she's the only one who feels this way about me. I enjoy the people and she's easy enough to avoid. But after a while, it's abusive and eats at you. Over the past year or so, she's assembled a little clique of "mean girls" that are nice if they encounter me, but who nonetheless avoid me like the plague...haha.

I'm pretty good at taking responsibility for the things I do in my life, but I really can't figure out where her hate comes from. I think she'd hoped I'd have left long before now and I haven't. Not that she's ever asked me to leave, suggested I should or discussed any concerns with me. Thing is, there's only one other group like this is in the region and it's not convenient to my home. So it's my only viable option for enjoying something I love to do. In the beginning, my friends there said I should just ignore it and not take it personally. So that's what I've tried to do. And I'm sure that just pisses her off even more. But outside of that, I've never been anything but nice to her and have even tried to reach out the olive branch a couple of times. 

Maybe she was hoping I'd blow up at her or something so I could be kicked out of the group. But I think if you're someone that treats others kindly, that shouldn't be conditional on how they treat you. So I've always been kind and gracious to her. No matter how rude she's been to me. After time, I did take her cue and stopped saying hello to her. It kept both of us from that awkward moment when she would just stare at me, blink and turn away.

Anyway this has been going on a couple of years now. I've managed to put this unpleasantness aside because I have a lot of fun there and have met a lot of people. I never even have to be in the same room with her when I'm there. But a couple of months ago I just stopped going, thinking I just needed some space. And now I've decided to just let go of it altogether. I think sometimes we don't see how stuff like this wears on our psyche over time. I'm ready to walk away.

This isn't a chipper little bird story, as suggested in the card. But it is the mending of an unhappy situation. Sometimes the only way to fix an unhappy situation is to cut your losses and move on. To let go. Even if it means leaving something you enjoy in its wake. 

In the end, it's what's best for both of us, which is always a good resolution. I never have and never will do anything to get back at her. I don't believe in that. Her karma is her business. I'm going to protect mine. Whatever pain is inside her that makes her be this way is far greater than anything she's inflicted on me. My unhappy situation is ended easily by walking away. The ending of her unhappy situation is, unfortunately, significantly more complex.

“Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn

anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive

is too small for you.”
― David Whyte, House of Belonging