Tuesday, May 15, 2012

5/16/12—Experiencing Love's Young Dream

Today's Draw: Knight of Cups from the Art of Life Tarot. Do you consider yourself a romantic? Do you like to fall madly, wonderfully in love? Or do you think that's the perfect recipe for heartbreak?

I chose the Art of Life Tarot again today partly because I'm really digging it, and partly because I'm so crazy busy right now that I don't have time to think. And it's sitting right here. The painting is called "The Lovers" and it's by Pal Szinyei Merse. The Thomas Moore quote reads, "There's nothing half so sweet in life as love's young dream."


*popping a breath mint*

OK. So I'm not "a romantic". But it's more than that. I interpret "love's young dream" as being that time in the beginning of a relationship where everything is hunky dory and you're certain you've met the one for you. Thomas Moore is smart enough that if he meant "young love's dream", he would have said that. If he'd said that, I wouldn't have barfed, because that kind of innocence is sweet. But he said "love's young dream" and I think I'm way too cynical and old to experience THAT ever again.

They say humans have pretty crappy memories of pain. Which is why we're able to give birth over and over again. Because if we remembered how painful it was, we wouldn't do it again. Now, I know nothing of childbirth (thank god), but I'm thinking I might have a better memory of pain than most people. Because I experienced "love's young dream" once or twice, felt the ensuing pain as the dream crumbled to ash, and then I got wise.

Two people meet and things are going great. After a week or so, each thinks the other is the one they've been seeking all their lives. It's love at first sight! It's soul mates! It's happily ever after! Finally! I'm saved!

We create this fantasy inside our heads that sets our new-found love up for nothing but failure and disappointment. What man can live up to the fantasies we create during the "love's young dream" stage? What woman can? What relationship can?

Then, as we get to know the person and tarnish starts to build up, we wonder what happened to that great guy/gal we met? How come now that I love her/him, she's turned into a total beyotch/lazy-arsed bastard? HOW COME THIS KEEPS HAPPENING TO ME??

"Love's young dream" is why it keeps happening to you. You fell in love with a dream. You let your fantasies run away from you again. And now it's time to wake up and smell the toilet seat he forgot to put back down. Again.

Like I said, I think maybe I have a better pain memory than most. Sure, it's nice to get all giddy and feel the rush while it lasts. But if you're caught up in the adrenaline of that feeling, then you're not being pragmatic about this person you're with. And if you're not being realistic, then you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Why not just skip right to the disappointment? That way you don't resent him/her for not being your dream for the rest of your life.

I know I'm in the minority here. People would rather feel the rush, because it feels so good. But I'd rather be objective enough to know what I'm dealing with before I declare my forever love. Holding on to objectivity might be less fun in the short term, but serves you better in the long run. At least that's what I think. I'm the kind of person that would rather be alone than be with someone who "once felt right, but proved to be otherwise, but may still be right again, so I'll keep him just in case." Maybe that's the difference between me and someone more "romantic". Maybe they don't remember the pain as much, so they're willing to take chances I'm not. What do you think about all this?

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