5/30/13—Uncovering the Secret to Happiness

Today's Draw: Ten of Cups from Tarot Illuminati in the Attitudes and Thoughts position from the Deck of 1000 Spreads. Where do you fit in at this stage of your life where happiness is concerned? When you look at the picture on this card, do you think "what's their secret?" Or do you think, "hey, they look just like me?"

Hooray! Today you get one of the happiest. Cards. Ever. And you know why everyone on this card is so happy? As you'll notice, they have no fence to look over, so they can't compare their life to the lives of others. And they have no satellite dish on their house beaming messages from the advertisers and media about what they should have, what they should look like and who they should be. 

Instead, they just know they love each other. They know they're surrounded by beauty. They know their humble home is enough. They're warm and fed and clean. What's more to want? Chances are you have all those same things. Are you as happy?

Our attitudes and thoughts alone can change our entire world. My own life changed drastically when I stopped seeing myself as single and alone and started seeing myself as the matriarch of a family that included three dogs. My sense of how much love I had in my life changed when I gave myself permission to count dog love and self love as part of my love bucket. 

In fact, most of the time I feel far more fortunate than the standard nuclear family because, let's face it, nobody loves you like a dog loves you. They're never mad at you. Their entire worlds stop when they catch sight of you. See what I'm getting at? Nothing changed outside of me to change the way I felt about my life. What changed was *inside* of me. 

The difference between happy and trying to be happy is all on where you place your attention. Are you focusing on what you need to make yourself happy? Or are you focusing on what you have that makes you happy? If you tend toward the former, you will never be happy. Because your happiness is dependent on some set of circumstances you'll never attain. Because the minute you catch up to one circumstance, another goal comes in sight. All you train your vision on is lack, so lack is all you see. 

If you focus on what you already have that makes you happy, then everything you see is something that brings you joy. And when you show gratitude for those things, more of that stuff enters your life. It really is as simple as "what you focus on grows in your life". Focus on lack and the lack gets bigger. Focus on fulfillment and the fulfillment gets bigger. 

It's hard not to compare yourself to others or to some ideal that doesn't. Our society makes it hard. And people wear masks to appear happy when they're really not. So it seems like others have some secret we don't...they married smarter, work smarter, have better kids...whatever. But here's their secret—either they're not really happy, or they focus on what they have and not what they lack. It's the only secret you need to know. And it's as easy to attain as it is to stop biting your fingernails or break any other habit you may have. The only thing that stands between you and the Ten of Cups is...you. 

5/11/12—Letting The Sun Shine In

Today's Draw: The Sun from Dylan's Tarot by Dylan Guthrie. What has brought you joy today? What is your best, guaranteed, sure-fire way to raise your spirits when you're down? And what can you do to bring a little joy into someone else's heart today?

I received two tarot decks in the mail today. One is called Tierney's Delight, the latest major's only deck by Beth Seilonen. It's Number 1 of 50, which is an absolute honor. And it came with a note from the artist thanking me for my inspiration. As you can imagine, all of that gave me quite a smile. I mean, how many tarot enthusiasts have a deck named after them AND have the honor of getting the first copy?

But you know what gave me a bigger smile? The note that came with the second deck, Dylan's Tarot. Mine is Number 8 of 25, which was, interestingly enough, Dylan's age at the time of the deck's creation in 2008-2009. At 8, Dylan Guthrie was possibly the youngest tarot artist in the world, making his limited-edition deck a must for any collector. He is the son of Beth Seilonen, creator of Tarot Leaves, my favorite Fishy Tarot and, of course, my new favorite Tierney's Delight.

The note came on a card with a lighthouse on it, illustrated by his mom. It was written in the artist's own hand and it said, "Thank you for buying Dylan's Tarot. It has been a long time since I have had a sale! Sincerely, Dylan." He signed the card in cursive and accompanied the signature by a neatly printed version of his name so I would know it was him.

Clearly there has been an egregious oversight in the tarot community if I was able to snag copy #8 of 25 of this delightful major's only deck. Few decks reflect the whimsy and innocence—not to mention the fresh eye—of this heavily researched, year-long labor of love. Had I chosen Justice, I might delve further into the INjustice of this deck having not already gone out of print! 

But I won't go there, because today I chose the Sun card, which is about happiness. And Dylan's deck and his note brought me a sweet dose of that today. 

While still adhering to the traditional, many cards are visually reinterpreted in surprising and symbolic ways. For example, the shadow cast from the Devil while being lit by the flames of hell makes me think of how much bigger our personal challenges and shadow selves can appear to us, making them that much harder for us to overcome.

The Death card evokes the Ten of Swords to me in the sense that it shows someone utterly defeated, but with the sun rising in the background, suggesting the dawn of a new day. Also the three bees or dragonflies intrigue me...perhaps a new resourcefulness rising up from the defeat? A trinity of transformation in body, mind and soul?

And the Hanged Man also stands out because the man is displaying a different posture from the traditional card and he hangs over water, which is suggestive of emotion. Since the traditional meaning of this card is finding a new point of view or taking a pause in the action, it seems to call on us to take a more measured look at the emotions of whatever situation we're in...or that perhaps the solution we speak is in suspending ourselves in or near our emotions before we can acquire the grounding we seek. 

But perhaps the masterwork of this deck is the card I chose today, The Sun. It has a lot of traditional symbolism in it with the sunflowers and the horse and the bright, happy sun shining down. Everyone in this card—the bird, the horse, the child—is stopping to smell the flowers. Even the sun seems to be wanting to catch a whiff. And that's where happiness lies, isn't it? In immersing yourself in the beauty of this very moment. And even at the age of 8, Dylan knows that beauty is all around us. We just have to open our awareness long enough to look. 

Dylan's Tarot comes in a black velvet-y bag, snuggled within a one-of-a-kind illustrated box that bears the numbered copy of the deck. It is a small deck, perhaps a bit smaller than a deck of playing cards. It is a BARGAIN at any price, but at the time of this publication was available at a reduced price of $25...for a limited edition deck! That took a year to research and create! Outrageous! I'm guessing Dylan is 11 or 12 now and could buy some wicked video games or boy gear with the proceeds he could earn from his remaining decks. Just sayin'.

Today's entry was more like a deck review than my usual thing. But it also illustrates how the simplest things, like a note from a child, an exploration of a new deck or one of the countless flowers that's blooming at this time of year can bring joy. We just have to clear our daily haze long enough to experience it. What has brought you joy today? And if you haven't yet found it, what can you do to make it happen?

4/18/12—Scoring the Cherry Lifesaver

Today's Draw: The Nine of Pentacles from the Fishy Tarot. Are you proud of what you've built in your life? If you could change something, what would it be? What if you found out the secret to success, fulfillment and happiness was as simple as changing your vision of what they are?

The Nine of Pentacles is, first and foremost, a card about prosperity and expansion. But I often like to see it also as a card representing all you've built in the world. All YOU have built. When you move to the Ten, you can consider it more of what you've built along with your family or tribe. But this is all about you. 

And, when you think of it, it's all about you anyway. After all, you built the tribe or family that brings stability and security in the Ten, just as you brought the growth and abundance in the Nine. I think we never truly own our power and responsibility in the world until we realize that every choice we make—and don't make—goes into building what we have in this very moment. 

At this point people tend to ask, "what about the things that happen to you that you can't control? The layoffs, car accidents and muggings of life?" These aren't things you asked for, but they are things you have to answer for. And the choice comes in how you end up doing that. Whether or not you allow it to hold you back, spur you on or utterly defeat you. We've all seen stories of people who've suffered fates far greater than we'll ever know...disfiguring accidents, death camps, unspeakable abuse...and they still find purpose, passion, joy and love in their lives.

The thing that usually trips people up is thinking everything is black and white. Remember Five Flavor Lifesavers? If you were like me, you hoped beyond hope that the next one would be cherry. Because yummy Lifesavers were red and all the others colors were second-class flavors. 

Reality was that all the flavors were good except the HORRIFIC pineapple (have you EVER tasted a pineapple remotely flavored like that?). But there I was merely tolerating lemon, lime and orange in hopes that the next one would be cherry. My vision of what the best "next flavor" was was so unyielding and absolute that I cheated myself out of enjoying the other flavors. I CHOSE to disappoint myself 4 out of 5 times in every roll. In fact, had I been in advertising back then, that's the headline I would have written—"Disappointment in Every Roll." 

Ironically, I could have chosen to win the "Five Flavor challenge" every single time by buying a roll of Cherry Lifesavers. Or I could have had variety AND a surplus of cherry at the same time by getting two rolls. But it never occurred to me that I had way more options than I thought.

We do this more often than we realize in our lives. Our vision of what success, achievement, abundance, prosperity and happiness look like is so narrow and absolute that we cheat ourselves out of experiencing the multi-flavored goodness that life puts in front of us every day. If there is something you want to achieve and you hit up against a wall, I guarantee you there is another way. The road there and the final destination may not look the way you imagined, but if you want what you want, achievement can be as easy as changing the picture in your mind. 

You either choose to achieve the things you want in life or you don't. It's like that saying, "do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?" If you'd rather receive your happiness the "right" way—the way it appears in movies and books and other dramas that dance in your brain—then you choose the disappointments that come when it arrives in a different package. But if you choose to be happy regardless of how you get that way, chances are you'll get there faster, revisit more often and reside there longer.

2/13/12—Putting a Barrier Between Ourselves and Happiness

Today's Draw: Eight of Wands from the Steampunk Tarot. Can you see the potential for happiness present in your life right now? Do you ever think you might hold happiness at arm's length? Is it possible you're doing it right now and just don't know it?

The Eight of Wands is a high octane card with the fuel to propel you toward a goal. Often it holds a message of "move quickly" or "strike while the iron is hot". 

A lot of times there's not even a human in this card, but in the Steampunk Tarot there is. The sun is in her eyes and you see just enough of her face to know she's very happy. She has a variety of wands to choose from—umbrellas, a walking stick and a riding crop—but she chooses the parasols, seemingly to shield her from the sun. 

The sun is illuminating and life giving and, in the tarot, can symbolize happiness. But there's a dark side to everything, even the sun. Too much sun can blind us. It can burn us. It can illuminate more than we're ready for.

So why do you suppose this happy woman placing a barrier between herself and this source of happiness? Is she laying low, protecting herself from being seen by the killjoys in her life? Is she afraid of having too much happiness, possibly leading to incurable heartbreak? Downplaying her happiness so as not to make the sad sacks around her sadder? Is there maybe some seedy underbelly to her that she doesn't want illuminated...something that would brand her undeserving of her happiness? Or is she holding happiness at bay, trying to regulate its flow, for some reason?

I'm pretty sure at one point or another I've been guilty of each of those things. And you know what I got out of it? Less happiness. In fact, when you examine all my unhappy times and my "just average" times, most of what was keeping me from being sunnier is myself. I tend to burden my head with thoughts and, when the sun starts trying to peek in the cracks, I hold it back "until I've completed my thought." It's like I want to experience my happiness under ideal conditions. And by the time I arrange those conditions, it's too late!

Sounds crazy, right? But I bet we've all cheated ourselves out of the full spectrum of joy for one reason or another....made it contingent on some person or set of circumstances out of our control.

Happiness, like every emotion, is a temporary state. It comes and goes. So, like the traditional meaning for this card, we've got to strike while the iron is hot. 

If you really think about it, you'll probably see that the potential for happiness is there a good deal of the time. And if we don't fully develop and relish it when we can, then think of the big puddle of this amazing nectar we've cast aside! I mean, if we're going to accept all the blahs and ehs of life, we may as well take all the heehees, too. So if you're feeling kind of eh right now...like you could go either way...what might you be putting between you and the sun?