5/24/13—Reflecting On Your Health

Today's Draw: Seven of Fossils/Deer from the Animal Wisdom Tarot in the Health Outcome position from the Deck of 1000 Spreads. What is swirling in the back of your mind causing stress? What do you think it's doing to your physical and emotional health? And what are you prepared to do about it?

I've been thinking a lot about health lately. For one thing, I'm in the midst of menopause and the jury is still out on how that will impact the next decades of my life as far as my health is concerned. I always had a level of respect for my period and my natural cycle. I never took a pill or anything like that to regulate it. Instead, I dealt with it naturally and approached birth control by other means. For me, that time of my month, as annoying, painful or messy as it could be, was also a time of release and detoxification...perhaps not in the literal sense, but in the way it felt for me. It was a healthy, necessary cycle. 

Then there's my diabetes and weight issues. I've struggled with weight—and sugar—all my life. A couple of years ago, when I was diagnosed with diabetes, I took it seriously and went super low carb, bringing my numbers down into the healthy range. Then I gave up, as usually happens when I feel restricted. And my blood sugar shot back up. Like many women, I find it easier to care for others than for myself. So I would observe myself in wonder as I carefully measured my dogs' grain-free, Omega-3-rich, healthy kibble into their bowls each day. Not just that, but if they so much as yelp, they go off to the doctor to see what's wrong. "Why didn't I care for myself the same way?", I wondered. 

I finally realized "restriction" was never a good diet alternative for me. So I changed the relationship I had with my nutritionist, Alana Sugar. She's a woman of many skills (and I recommend her highly.) And we began to work on my energy body and emotional body in regard to my diet, rather than my physical one. Very slowly, over time, my head is changing around this matter. Things I swore you'd never see me doing, like juicing vegetables, are now things I'm choosing to do because I'm curious and want to. Over the past couple of months, I have seen me make increasingly smarter choices, not because of a diet and not because I feel I have to, but because I want to. Because I'm finally ready to surrender to the notion of good health a way that makes it entirely my choice. It's spelling a bigger difference in my blood sugar fluctuations than in my weight right now, but momentum is building and this feels right and natural. 

But what took place yesterday is probably the reason why the cards came as they did today. Yesterday I went in for one of those new 3-D mammograms. Because my mother died from breast cancer at 56, I've been getting mammograms yearly since the age of 30. But a couple of years ago when I called to make my appointment, they said it was too soon...a year hadn't passed yet...and to call back. They wouldn't schedule me a couple of months ahead. So the ball dropped and I didn't get one that year or last year, either. 

So for two years worry has been swirling in the back of my head. What if? What if this is the year I truly need one and didn't get one? Both going and not going bring up fears for me. I've had a couple of biopsies before. One required breast surgery and the removal of tissue and that one left me with a large scar which traumatized me for a while. So all of it—going and not going—brings up anxiety until I actually do go and am declared "clear". Angelina Jolie's recent decision to have a double-mastectomy while she's still healthy is indicative of what many feel who have watched their mother die entirely too soon. 

After the mammogram, I sat in my car  wanting desperately to cry, but having a hard time doing so. I've really been feeling the stress of life the last few years, as I'm sure many do. Worry about money, concerns about career, the ever-present deadlines of my job, a busy schedule, keeping my house clean, getting my yard and garden in shape, concerns about my dogs, loss in my life...the stress of all of it produces unhealthy chemistry. I do meditate, which helps. And I've eliminated some of my extra "jobs" so I can have my weekends back. But yesterday after rushing around all day, doing errands and going to meetings, worrying about the dogs, pushing the clock...well, I just wanted to cry. And that's my body's way of saying "something's gotta give because the stress is taking a toll." I feel that way far too often lately. 

When I added all of this stuff up—the menopause and loss of that naturally healthy cycle, the weight issues, diabetes, increased worry of illness while aging and overall life stress—it became apparent to me that I really needed to take stock of my health and make some changes. And while I am currently making better choices, I realize I need to be even more proactive. Because the stress and worry of putting off positive health choices could be making me sick, you know?

I think most people have something that, overtly or not, swirls around in the back of the head causing stress. Maybe it's your job. Or your home situation. Or unfinished projects. Or some sort of insecurity. The stress of these things eats away at us. It may not be top of mind. But that doesn't mean it can't bore a hole in your spirit. And on some level it detrimentally affects our health. 

The Seven of Fossils comes to us today to tell us it's time to reflect on these things—including things we insist don't really bother us but, under the surface do—and see where we can make adjustments in our lives, specifically in the areas of health. The fact that it comes to us in the form of a deer also says to be gentle with yourself. As the cards indicate, I think this all came to ME to let me know this reflection is the outcome of the health issues I've been having lately. And, once reflected upon, the question for all of us is, "what are you going to do about it?"

For me, the answer is that I need to drink more liquids. Get more exercise. Do something that draws a line in my day, between the time I'm at work and the time I'm not (working at home and being on the computer through the night make for bad work boundaries.) Eat when I'm hungry, instead of when I can carve out some time to make something. Be more present, especially during those times I have R&R time. And meditate longer and more consistently. 

There are some things we can't change. I can't change that my workday plans can shift at a moment's notice as fires blow through, putting more pressure on already pressurized deadlines. That is the nature of my business. But I can change the way I respond to it and I can change other things in my life to counterbalance that stress. Not everybody can look forward to be healthier at 60 than they are at 50, but if I continue on the path I'm on, certainly that will be the case. That's the upside of being obese, diabetic, stressed out, sedentary and menopausal at the age of 50...haha. So...what do you get when you reflect on your own health forecast?

5/18/13-5/19/13—Living Your Higher Truth

Weekend Reading: Elephant, Bearer of Justice from the Animal Wisdom Tarot. The guidebook for this deck points out something interesting. Justice, being at the center of the Major Arcana, shifts us from the physical world into the spiritual. And it advises us to do what is right and that which is a true reflection of ourselves. So this weekend do just that. And if you find yourself doing something you'd rather not admit is a true reflection of yourself, note that. Sometimes we find ourselves caught in outdated patterns that reflect a part of ourselves we've been working to leave behind. And sometimes we just don't realize what our actions say about us. So be a conscious observer this weekend. And if you find yourself doing something you'd be ashamed to say reflects your true being, make a different choice. Choose to live your higher truth. 

5/17/13—Uncovering Your Inner Camel

Today's Draw: Camel, Seeker of Branches in the You position from the Animal Wisdom Tarot and the Deck of 1000 Spreads. When was the last time someone told you something compelling about who you are? Did you agree with them? And what would you say if I told you you were a camel?

You know there's an issue when you have Amazon Prime shipping and you forget you ordered something by the time it arrives. But I must say, I was pleasantly surprised to receive this deck. And when I opened it, I was even more surprised. It's a really nice deck. 

A "seeker" in this deck is a Knight, and "branches" are Wands. But I like the phrase "seeker of branches". It sounds somehow noble and "special". It makes me want to know what it means and what it has to do with me. 

Last Sunday a woman gave me an energy healing and when it was done she said, "they told me you are someone who fills in the spaces between things." By "they" she meant the healing spirits or guides that come to her when she performs her healings. I wasn't expecting a message from spirit on top of my healing, but when I got this one, I was intrigued. Now I've been thinking about it all week. 

The most obvious meaning of it is what I do for a living. As a consultant, I fill in gaps of manpower or expertise. That's what I do. When an agency needs a writer who is a subject matter expert or when a company doesn't have the right writer—or enough writers—on staff to handle the workload, they call me. So I literally fill in the spaces. 

Then last night the man who interviewed me on the radio said that he and I both lived "in between" or something like that. By that, I think he meant that we ventured into that space between humans and spirit. For him, I think that meant he was a medium. For me, I think it's about the writing I do here...filling in that gap between seeking and understanding. It's a flattering thought. 

Even in my advertising job I feel like the words and ideas come from someplace other than me. I'm sure there's something you do where you lose all sense of space and time. Maybe it's gardening. Or painting.  Or some other passion. When we go into "the zone", I think we're actually occupying that space between human and spirit. So that's another I might fill in the spaces with my writing. 

Anyway, all of this is to say that it's always interesting and valuable to hear people tell you who you are...when they're not screaming at you, that is...haha. Because sometimes they have things to say that, as long as you've known yourself, you've never considered about yourself before. So when today's "You" card came up with the compelling "Seeker of Branches" label, it reminded me of that. In what way might you be a camel or a seeker of branches? Frankly, it could mean anything. 

So I could tell you what the deck's creator meant by that, but I think it would be more fun for you figure out how you might be a seeker of branches for yourself. After all, the card came up for YOU. What does that mean to you? Are the branches branches of peace? Are they handholds to cling on to? Are they full of fruit? Are you a genealogist? A river explorer? 

And if that fails to inspire you, how are you like the camel? Do you persevere through harsh environments? Do you see life from a higher perspective? Do you have vast inner reserves? Are you a beast of burden? What? 

It's rare to have someone tell you who you are in a way that sets you off on a fresh journey of discovery. I got that gift this week and now I'm giving it to you. We're all seeking something and in some way, we're all a seeker of branches...and we're all a camel. Look at yourself this way and see if you can find something about yourself you never really knew before.