5/2/13—Letting God Steer the Justice Ship

Today's Draw Classic*: Justice in the Immediate Future from the Tarot of the Tattoo Age and the Deck of 1000 Spreads. Is it about time justice is served? Can you know for certain what that looks like? How does justice get enacted in your life?

Well, well. It looks like we're going to get justice at last! And, for some of us, that will be good news. For others it will most assuredly suck. Which are you? Don't be so sure you know the answer. 

The Justice card is about fairness and truth. In a broader sense, it's about karma, too. Something from your past is going to get weighed and you will receive a sentence. Whether it's good or bad is out of your hands now. It's now up to the objective force of the universe to determine. 

I've talked before on this blog about revenge. I don't go there. And one of the reasons I don't go there is because of karma. It will come back to me. Another reason I don't go there is because the higher power I believe in is so frickin' awesome at exacting justice that it will always do a better job than me. 

A third reason I don't go there is because I don't presume to know enough about what's fair or right to be in command of the justice ship. Because I only know part of the truth. My part. And from my standpoint, I'm right and the other person is wrong. But even if everyone agrees with me, I still only know part of the story. I don't know what drives the other person. And I forget all the crap I've done in the past to deserve the way I was treated. I also don't know if the "bad" thing they did to me is ultimately bad...it could end up being a fortunate lesson that keeps me from greater pain in the future.

See, the other person could be an agent of the universe come to settle the score from that time I knocked that girl's books of her desk in the third grade and kept walking because I was embarrassed. To her, it looked like I was being a bully. Or rude. I remember she was really upset about it. And I remember everyone looked at me like I was a monster. But I was embarrassed and didn't know what to do. So I kept walking. I didn't apologize. I didn't do nuffin. Except look like an ass. 

So, seeing as how this current incident could be justice for something I've long since forgotten, I'd pretty much be screwing myself if I sought revenge for it, right? I'd just create more bad karma. Personally I think anytime you presume to do God's work for him you're creating bad karma. So that's why I won't go there. 

But this principle goes beyond revenge. For every "my side of the story out there", there are multiple aspects of the big picture you just do not know. Nor could you ever. So what looks unfair could be fair. A person who annoys you wins the lottery? I'm pretty certain it's fair. First of all, you don't know what wonderful things they may be doing when they're not annoying you. And second, you have no idea what winning that money will do to them. If you watch enough cable TV, you're informed enough to what large sums of money do to people's lives. 

What it all comes down to is that there are many lenses through which to view the truth. But in the end, only one truth matters...the objective truth of the universe. You wanna screw with that? You know better? Go ahead and do what you will. But know that no deed goes unweighed on the scales of justice. And anytime you do something to hurt another person, whether you think it's justified or not, the scales start tipping against you.  

*Repeated from 2/25/13

Letting God Steer the Justice Ship

Today's Draw: Justice in the Immediate Future from the Tarot of the Tattoo Age and the Deck of 1000 Spreads. Is it about time justice is served? Can you know for certain what that looks like? How does justice get enacted in your life?

Well, well. It looks like we're going to get justice at last! And, for some of us, that will be good news. For others it will most assuredly suck. Which are you? Don't be so sure you know the answer. 

The Justice card is about fairness and truth. In a broader sense, it's about karma, too. Something from your past is going to get weighed and you will receive a sentence. Whether it's good or bad is out of your hands now. It's now up to the objective force of the universe to determine. 

I've talked before on this blog about revenge. I don't go there. And one of the reasons I don't go there is because of karma. It will come back to me. Another reason I don't go there is because the higher power I believe in is so frickin' awesome at exacting justice that it will always do a better job than me. 

A third reason I don't go there is because I don't presume to know enough about what's fair or right to be in command of the justice ship. Because I only know part of the truth. My part. And from my standpoint, I'm right and the other person is wrong. But even if everyone agrees with me, I still only know part of the story. I don't know what drives the other person. And I forget all the crap I've done in the past to deserve the way I was treated. I also don't know if the "bad" thing they did to me is ultimately bad...it could end up being a fortunate lesson that keeps me from greater pain in the future.

See, the other person could be an agent of the universe come to settle the score from that time I knocked that girl's books of her desk in the third grade and kept walking because I was embarrassed. To her, it looked like I was being a bully. Or rude. I remember she was really upset about it. And I remember everyone looked at me like I was a monster. But I was embarrassed and didn't know what to do. So I kept walking. I didn't apologize. I didn't do nuffin. Except look like an ass. 

So, seeing as how this current incident could be justice for something I've long since forgotten, I'd pretty much be screwing myself if I sought revenge for it, right? I'd just create more bad karma. Personally I think anytime you presume to do God's work for him you're creating bad karma. So that's why I won't go there. 

But this principle goes beyond revenge. For every "my side of the story out there", there are multiple aspects of the big picture you just do not know. Nor could you ever. So what looks unfair could be fair. A person who annoys you wins the lottery? I'm pretty certain it's fair. First of all, you don't know what wonderful things they may be doing when they're not annoying you. And second, you have no idea what winning that money will do to them. If you watch enough cable TV, you're informed enough to what large sums of money do to people's lives. 

What it all comes down to is that there are many lenses through which to view the truth. But in the end, only one truth matters...the objective truth of the universe. You wanna screw with that? You know better? Go ahead and do what you will. But know that no deed goes unweighed on the scales of justice. And anytime you do something to hurt another person, whether you think it's justified or not, the scales start tipping against you.  

2/22/13—Finding Beauty Within

Today's Draw: Crow Woman (Justice) from the Mythical Goddess tarot in the position of What to Take  From the Past from the Deck of 1000 Spreads. Are you thinking more and more about getting older? What have you noticed has spelled the difference between you now and you 20 years ago? And if you're in your later 50s, 60s or 70s, what difference have you noticed in your life since turning 50?

In a few weeks I'm going to turn 50. Everyone my age is doing it, if they haven't already. It's all the rage these days. 

This isn't something that normally bothers me...aging. It's just a number. But when it's a big round number...like half a hundred...you get to thinking. In my spirit, I'm still girlish...forever 29. Visibly I don't know how old I look, but it's young enough that it shocks people when I tell them how old I am. But physically speaking I'm sure I feel 65. Or 70. It's fair to say I've been a bad steward of my body and and excellent steward of my spirit. The rest is just genetics. 

So with 50 looming and an aged goddess staring at me in Crow Woman in a position like "What to Take From the Past", well...I'm back to thinking about 50 again. And Crow Woman has some wisdom for me...for us, the members of the high school Class of '81, many of whom bless me by reading this blog on a regular basis. 

She comes to tell us we've evened out over the years. We're not so full of drama and histrionics. We can see situations more objectively. We're less attached to things. We're more adept at honoring our boundaries. We're also less likely to compromise our truth. 

Somewhere out there there's a 30 year old reading this and thinking "pathetic old dogs, searching in the dark for reasons to be glad they're living in wrinkled, graying bodies"...haha. That's ok. I thought that when I was your age, too. I thought, "hey, I get to be 30 and all those things you say." But I can see now where I was wrong. 

It's a sad irony of life that, just as our bodies and looks begin to deteriorate, we finally discover that "inner beauty" people have been talking about all along. I thought I knew it at 30, but now I can see what a child I was, still at 30. I thought I knew it at 40, but now I can see how full of fear I was at 40. I suppose when I'm 60 I'll laugh at how naive I was at 50. But more and more as 50 draws near, I'm beginning to appreciate the stability and confidence I have now. And I expect only to blossom and grow as my gray hairs become more prevalent. 

As someone who has actively been on a path of personal growth and spiritual discovery for more than half my life, I can look back astounded at all the progress I've made. The things that used to clutter my head no longer do. The things that used to define me as a person no longer do. Some of the people and situations that I embraced then would not stand a chance in my life today...and I'm sure there are some things I rejected back then that I might have more of a propensity for today. 

From a spiritual standpoint, this whole aging thing is beginning to make sense in ways it never has before. It's like we spend a good 30-some years developing fears, neuroses and insecurities, only to first, reach a point of stasis, then begin to overcome and slough the scars of our youth in our later years. It's hard to appreciate something you've always possessed. But if it's something you've earned, it becomes a precious gift. In the first half of life I earned my neuroses, only to earn my way out of them in the last half. All of it, a gift. 

So, as I pack my baggage for a new decade, I bring all of it with me, really. Because before any scale reaches balance, it tips first to one side, then another. If we are to be balanced out, we need the weight of both ends of our life opposing each other. There's something deep in my core that tells me I'm right on schedule to be 50 and experience some of the best years of my life...maybe not in looks or physical wellbeing, but inside. Where, it turns out, it really does count. 

11/29/12—Zeroing in on Judgment

Today's Draw Classic*: Judgment from the Spiral Spirit Tarot.  Is there an aspect of your life you can no longer deny or run away from? Is it time for a change? How do you read the Judgment card?

  

The Judgment Card has always been a challenging one to read for me. Yeah, yeah, it's about rebirth and transformation, but so is the Death card. And, sure, it's about a time of accountability, summing up and truth, but so is Justice. So I've always struggled with what to do with this card in a reading. It just doesn't speak to me in a unique voice. Or didn't. 

Each month I lead a tarot meetup where we spotlight a different card in each meeting. Every month as I put my notes together for this meetup, I learn something new. And the insight I got while researching this card makes all the difference in how I read it and it's unique position in the tarot. So I thought I'd share it with you. 

The card that comes before this in the tarot is the Sun. And the Sun shines so brightly that it illuminates our shadowy corners...the ones we even hide from ourselves. Our eyes are opened to an issue and we can no longer stay in the dark. We must change. Death and the Tower cards thrust change upon us. But the Judgment card brings change we choose.

One story I have that illustrates these distinctions belongs to someone I used to know. She was driving at twice the legal blood alcohol limit on a New Year's Eve maybe 25 years ago. She was on an unlit street and didn't see a bunch of teenage boys pushing an unlit car down the road...until it was too late. A boy lost his leg that night. And my friend lost life as she knew it.  

There's a lot of muddy area here, but I would argue that the boy had a Death card moment. One phase of his life died and another began. A line was drawn in the sand. He literally would never be the same. Many years later he contacted my friend and he said losing his leg saved his life, because he was on a downward spiral in his life at the time. Today he's a different man with a wife and family and career he may have never had otherwise.

I'd say my friend had a Tower moment—she was utterly shaken to the core and went to prison for a couple of years. Every aspect of her life fell to wayside, along with her freedom. Once she got out of prison, she rebuilt her life using what was left of foundation she'd had before...her values, ethics and her career.  

But her Judgment moment in all of this was when she realized she had a drinking problem that had to be fixed. This level of inebriation was not an isolated incident in her life. It took the accident to shine a light on a part of herself she had previously denied. And once that dark corner was lit, she made the changes she needed to make in her life. 

To the extent she was possessed by her alcohol issue, the accident wasn't her choice. Certainly not a conscious or "sober" choice. But quitting drinking was. That's the distinction with the Judgment card.

We've all had those moments in our lives, haven't we? Maybe you see someone at the mall berating their child and realize you're not so supportive yourself. Or maybe you go on vacation for two weeks and return to see with fresh eyes what a ratty gardener you are. Or maybe you find out you have halitosis and have had it for years. 

Although it sounds unpalatable, it's really not. Judgment moments lead to the healing of old wounds, the breaking of bad habits and the forgiveness of long-held grudges. Because it's a change of your choosing, you're taking a conscious hand in your own evolution. The illumination may come from the grace of a higher source, but the redemption is all on you.

*From a post originally written on 3/1/12.

11/7/12—Winterizing Your Soul

Today's Draw: Mabon (Justice) from the Book of Shadows Tarot. What does "being ready for winter" entail for you? Are you ready? And what do the winter months mean to you?

Mabon is the time of the Autumnal Equinox. It's the time of harvest and of preparing for winter. It's also the time when, in the myth of Demeter, that Persephone begins her descent back into the underworld until Spring. This is a time of forgiveness and of preparing our souls for the long, dark months ahead. 

Back before electricity and other modern conveniences, the work you completed now determined whether or not you'd live through the winter. Did you may enough hay? Chop enough wood? Store enough food? 

This time of year we still "winterize" our properties. For me, that means trimming the azaleas, mulching leaves and doing a winter weeding. I'm not much for gardening, but I manage to do it every year. And we sort of mentally prepare ourselves for the months ahead. The darker months can be depressing. One of my online friends lives in Alaska and they go without sunlight at all for a good couple of months!

Personally, I like winter. I like the snow. I like the cold. While many will spend less time outside in the winter months, I'll be out there more. Certainly more than I'm outside in summer. There have been times when I've laid outside on the hammock so long watching the snow fall that I've accumulated more than an inch of snow on me! I love to bundle up and watch the snow fall. Is it ever more quiet and peaceful than when the earth is insulated in that way?

Anyway, I've been trying to think of things I do to prepare for winter...or things I do differently. I get out the blankets, because I like a cold house. I drink more hot tea. I snuggle with the pack more. Cook more soup. I nest. I don't ever have to prepare my soul for the long, dark months ahead because it is always more than ready for the downtime...haha. 

Tomorrow a big nor'easter is supposed to blow through. It could be the first flakes of winter. The thought excites me, but I know better than to get too excited. We're frequently disappointed when it comes to snowfall in the DC area. But I did do my normal "snow is coming" ritual. I backed my car into the driveway and lifted up the windshield wipers. There! Prepared. 

How about you?

5/26/12-5/29/12—Keeping Up With Karma

Memorial Day Weekend Reading: Aventurine (Justice) in the 12th House from Arcana Stones by Rachelcat. The weekend can be summed up in one word: karma. Karma is universal justice—the consequences that come as a natural result of your actions. This has nothing to do with revenge, nor does it reflect any human effort to "equal a score". It's simply what you've earned. And that can be good or bad. Everyone thinks karma reflects only bad outcomes, but when you do good and get good in return, that's karma, too. So if something incredibly good happens this weekend, you probably earned it. And if something bad happens, well, you know. And if it's just a normal, pleasant weekend, then congratulations. You're doing just fine. :)

4/21/12-4/22/12—Making Way for Justice

Weekend Reading: Justice from the Black Fantasy Tarot. Justice asks us to bring our lives into balance, neglecting no aspect of ourselves to fuel another. Some may nurture their careers more than they nurture family. Others may acquire money at the cost of their spiritual integrit. Others may feed their body with food or alcohol and neglect feeding its need for exercise. You may be a world-class volunteer, but if you live a toxic life, Justice doesn't call it a wash. Justice makes you sick, but surrounds you with people who care. This weekend, look at your life as if each choice is judged individually, without regard to the big picture. What are you neglecting? Where are you behaving in a toxic way? Where are you out of balance? If you're like me, you know exactly where you need to make changes to avoid the sharp sting of Justice's sword.

4/19/12—Getting to the Truth

Today's Draw Classic*: Justice (Major Arcana VIII) from Tarot of the Sidhe. Do you know what is true? Can you attest to anything with absolute and universal certainty? What does it annoy you that people are always getting wrong?

Justice is a card of balance...of weighing options and finding that sweet spot in the center that is the sum of all things good and bad. Emily Carding, the creator of this deck, sees it as the all-seeing karmic law that none can escape. It is cosmic law and universal truth, balancing on the all-seeing, dispassionate eye of God.

As ego-driven humans we are certain we hold that truth. We know when someone is wrong. We see injustice. We're certain we know the truth. But do we? Do we ever?

We're constantly making judgments of right and wrong, as though our keen eye knows all. When we're with our partner, we know we love them. But after the relationship dissolves, we wonder if we ever really did. Was that love? 

When someone zooms into our spot in a parking lot, we know the bitch saw us and willfully stole our space. But how do we know she was even paying attention? How do we know she wasn't on automatic or in that zone we all go into where the outside world doesn't exist?

We say the sky is blue. To a color blind man, who knows? We say it's 4pm. Someone else's watch says 3:58. We're certain it's 2011, but what does that even mean? Tell a Buddhist it's 2011 years after Christ and it means nothing. We say our arm hurts and someone comes along and tells us we don't know pain. Pain is having your eyes gouged out by a crow...haha. So where is the truth in all that?

Emily Carding wrote a certain truth about this card she created. And I have my own...haha. That is the way of tarot. It can be perfectly spelled out by the creator of the deck, but each reader will always see what they want to want to see. And when I see this card tomorrow, I will see something different. The dancer balances perfectly between her conscious (the sun) and her subconscious (the moon). But she must constantly adjust that balance. And when we're talking the conscious, we can count on more stable "truths". But when the unconscious comes into play, all bets are off. So the truth is constantly shifting and is very unique to the individual...and may even be comprised of things the individual isn't aware of.

What I see in this card that wasn't intended (or at least didn't appear in the artist's notes) is that the eyes of sun and moon and the sharpness of the entire balancing image in the center, form the face of an owl. The face of wisdom. And wisdom is knowing that the "truth" is an individual and constantly shifting thing. It exists not in black and white, but in shades of gray. The only thing I can think of that defies this dynamic nature is unconditional love...truly unconditional love. 

It is the ego mind that thinks it knows the truth. But the only seer of the truth is the higher power. That's the only "one" with the omniscience to get the entire picture. For every truth you have, there is an individual who thinks and sees otherwise. And every time we press our truth with insistence, or vengeance or some other form of "certainty", we bear the karma of that false belief. So consider this as you go through your day and make your arguments and take your stands. Truth is one of the great illusions of life...a fleeting snapshot of the human inside us and not representative of the god within.

*Today's draw was adapted from an entry made on 4/25/11.

3/1/12—Zeroing in on Judgment

Today's Draw: Judgment from the Spiral Spirit Tarot.  Is there an aspect of your life you can no longer deny or run away from? Is it time for a change? How do you read the Judgment card?

  

The Judgment Card has always been a challenging one to read for me. Yeah, yeah, it's about rebirth and transformation, but so is the Death card. And, sure, it's about a time of accountability, summing up and truth, but so is Justice. So I've always struggled with what to do with this card in a reading. It just doesn't speak to me in a unique voice. Or didn't. 

Each month I lead a tarot meetup where we spotlight a different card in each meeting. Every month as I put my notes together for this meetup, I learn something new. And the insight I got while researching this card makes all the difference in how I read it and it's unique position in the tarot. So I thought I'd share it with you. 

The card that comes before this in the tarot is the Sun. And the Sun shines so brightly that it illuminates our shadowy corners...the ones we even hide from ourselves. Our eyes are opened to an issue and we can no longer stay in the dark. We must change. Death and the Tower cards thrust change upon us. But the Judgment card brings change we choose.

One story I have that illustrates these distinctions belongs to someone I used to know. She was driving at twice the legal blood alcohol limit on a New Year's Eve maybe 25 years ago. She was on an unlit street and didn't see a bunch of teenage boys pushing an unlit car down the road...until it was too late. A boy lost his leg that night. And my friend lost life as she knew it.  

There's a lot of muddy area here, but I would argue that the boy had a Death card moment. One phase of his life died and another began. A line was drawn in the sand. He literally would never be the same. Many years later he contacted my friend and he said losing his leg saved his life, because he was on a downward spiral in his life at the time. Today he's a different man with a wife and family and career he may have never had otherwise.

I'd say my friend had a Tower moment—she was utterly shaken to the core and went to prison for a couple of years. Every aspect of her life fell to wayside, along with her freedom. Once she got out of prison, she rebuilt her life using what was left of foundation she'd had before...her values, ethics and her career.  

But her Judgment moment in all of this was when she realized she had a drinking problem that had to be fixed. This level of inebriation was not an isolated incident in her life. It took the accident to shine a light on a part of herself she had previously denied. And once that dark corner was lit, she made the changes she needed to make in her life. 

To the extent she was possessed by her alcohol issue, the accident wasn't her choice. Certainly not a conscious or "sober" choice. But quitting drinking was. That's the distinction with the Judgment card.

We've all had those moments in our lives, haven't we? Maybe you see someone at the mall berating their child and realize you're not so supportive yourself. Or maybe you go on vacation for two weeks and return to see with fresh eyes what a ratty gardener you are. Or maybe you find out you have halitosis and have had it for years. 

Although it sounds unpalatable, it's really not. Judgment moments lead to the healing of old wounds, the breaking of bad habits and the forgiveness of long-held grudges. Because it's a change of your choosing, you're taking a conscious hand in your own evolution. The illumination may come from the grace of a higher source, but the redemption is all on you.