12/10/12—Breaking Out of Your Shell

Today's Draw: #17 from the Golden Moth Illumination Deck by Aijung Kim. What do you see in this card? Does your interpretation relate to something in your own life right now? What message does it hold for you?


The Golden Moth Illumination Deck is an oracle deck with 75 cards, a handful of which are blank so you can draw your own images. All the images are simple, like this one. And all the cards are done in just blue and yellow. 

I held off on getting this deck for a while, because I'm not huge on oracle decks (outside of the Lenormand) and it's not a cheap deck. But let me tell you, I'm so glad I finally got it. Everything about this deck is pure class. The stock is beautiful. The printing is beautiful. Even the design of the tuck box is beautiful. Really. You've never tucked a box like this. Aijung must have the soul of a graphic designer, because she has the impeccable taste and attention to detail of one. 

The deck also comes with a 30-page handbook. And you'd expect that, somewhere on the 30 pages, there would be a key as to the meanings of the cards. But there is none. She leaves it to you to figure it out. 

Now, you guys have seen me around. I'm pretty confident and intuitive with my tarot cards. And there was even a time years ago that I worked only with oracle cards that had no guidebook, just to exercise my intuitive muscle. But it wasn't until this deck came along that I realized how comfortable I had gotten with the set meanings of my tarot cards over the years. 

Now, before anyone objects, you can interpret a tarot card any way you want. I teach my students to learn the "book" meanings, but to always note their intuitive hits first...what jumps out at you in each card as you turn it over? To do that, you need hold back the dude in your head that says, "three of swords, that means heartbreak" for a second so you can get those hits. Then you marry your hits with your interpretation of the card within the context of the reading. So you're being intuitive. But it's a "safe" kind of intuitive, because you know what the card really means. And because you know what it means, you always have that meaning to lean on if you don't get any intuitive hits. 

But with a deck like this, you really just have to trust that what you're getting and go with it. It takes that extra bit of juju...and balls...to wield a deck like this around. Which means it's perfect for a beginner who's just trying to get their chops. And it's also perfect for an old bird like me who needs to push outside of her comfort zone a little to exercise certain neurons that have become couch potatoes of late. 

So look at the card and can you see how lightning bolts of realization about my comfort zone have come down to crack my creative shell? That's what I saw. But someone else will see the bolts coming out of the shell. And still others won't even see a shell at all. They'll see a rock. Or they'll think about an earthquake. Or something else entirely. 

Many times what we see in these cards is colored by where we are and where we've been in our lives. We apply our personal experience to the interpretation of the cards. So I can see a few places in my life where I'm being cracked open and have to come out of my shell...or where I should come out of my shell. 

I also see a warning about how it's better to crack your own eggshell than to have the universe do it for you....because waiting for the universe to do it often comes with a consequence for having waited so long. So I can read this card as saying "you may as well be self motivated, because change is going to come whether you like it or not. And you may not like the way it comes if you wait too long."

What do you see in this card?

12/8/12-12/9/12—Claiming Your Power

Weekend Reading: Tiger from Spirit Animal Cards by Mary Phelan from TelepathicTV.com. Don't back down from a challenge this weekend. Tiger ensures that you'll have the power and resourcefulness you need to get 'er done over the next couple of days. And if you're out at a social event, forget about being a wall flower. Speak up and share your point of view. You can be all weak and helpless some other weekend. This weekend you get to claim your status as one powerful cat!

NOTE: If you're a metaphysical person and don't know about Telepathic TV, visit the site at telepathictv.com. You'll find more card decks made by Mary Phelan and you'll also find links to her syndicated show, Telepathic TV ("Television You Watch With Your Third Eye"), dating back to 2004. Check it out. Mary and her partner, Neville, are prominent spiritual teachers in the DC area and gifted intuitives. 

12/7/12—Getting Out of The Rut

Today's Draw: The Swamp (Trump XIV) from the Surrealist Tarot by Ari Bach. Do you feel stuck in a rut? Has some area of your life gone stagnant? Want to know how to get back on track?

This deck has been out a couple of years, but I've just discovered it. The weirdest thing...the deck arrived all curved up like a deck that had been shuffled poker-style for a long time. You know what I mean? They get all curved in the middle? Anyway, it's a nice little deck. Playing card size. The art is "dark" and non-traditional. 

The meanings are non-traditional, too. This card takes the place of Temperance in the major arcana, but it means pretty much the opposite (according to the e-lwb). This is a card of stagnation and blockage. As the book says, "The elements and life move around it, grow from it, decay upon it, but it goes nowhere." 

Ever felt that way? Or ever felt that way in one area of your life? Like maybe you have particularly bad love life. Or a crappy job. Or a bad social life. Yeah, me too. 

Sometimes you just give up and sit down a little while, intending to get back up and try again. And then you never do. And before you know it, there's moss growing on your north side. 

Sometimes you decide (or convince yourself) that you don't even want the part of your life that's gone stagnant back. "I'm too old to change careers now." "People my age have no time for a social life."  "What would I do with a virile stud in my life, anyway?"

If this resonates with any of you, it's time to seek help...haha. 

You know, yesterday's post talked about aspen trees and how if you want to build something strong and enduring, it takes time. This one aspen colony in Utah is older than mankind. Literally. It didn't get that way by stressing itself, making dramatic moves or running itself into the ground. It just did what comes naturally for it. It grew slowly and steadily in its own time. Shed its unhealthy parts when it was time. Pushed up new shoots when needed.

If you feel stuck right now, you can do the same. You can start by changing just one small thing. Google that career you were interested in and read the latest news in that field, for example. Then think up some other small move you can make. Then another. You don't have to do it all at once. And you don't always have to be productive. And you get to screw up along the way. It's a marathon, not a sprint. 

When you're stuck in a rut, that's the most important thing to know. There's no deadline. You don't have to make any broad strokes. You don't even need a defined goal. Just turn your head ever so slightly toward the light. And that's enough for today.

12/6/12—Putting In Your Time

Today's Draw Classic*: Eight of Nature from the Tarot of the Origins. What have you always wanted that you've never managed to get? Why do you think you don't have it? And what would you be willing to do to get it?

The Eight of Nature equates to the Eight of Wands. In the Tarot of the Origins, the Eight of Wands speaks of the spirit of trees and slowness. 

Many believe the largest organism on earth is a tree. Not a Redwood or a Sequoia, but an Aspen. See, what seems to be an entire grove of Aspens is really just one organism, derived from the same original seedling, with new shoots/trees popping up over time. A single tree in the colony may live up to 150 years. But the root system...the colony itself...is thought to live tens of thousands of years. The largest of the Aspens, named Pando, is located in Utah, covers over 100 acres and weighs 6000 tons. It's rumored be anywhere from 80,000 to a million years old. To put that in perspective, homo sapiens existed only in Africa 80,000 years ago. And that Aspen is AT LEAST 80,000 years old. It beat man to  Utah by at least 30,000 years.

The Aspen teaches us that building something big, strong and enduring takes time. The amenities of our modern world have done us a disservice in that they condition us to expect immediate results. They make us impatient. And so when we try to build a career or a relationship or change in life, we decide that we've "failed" or that "it's not working" before we've given it a fair chance. Of course, giving something a fair chance shouldn't be confused with sticking with a losing proposition until it drags you into the ground. But our dreams, the things we hunger for, deserve to be built slowly on a foundation as firm as the Aspen's. 

Every once in a while I'll come across someone who spends their life in regret because they tried many things and failed each time. Or I'll meet someone who is looking for a quick answer in their life. Or someone will look at my cushy job and say they wish they could do what I do. But if they were honest, all those people would really be saying, "I'm not willing to do what it takes to have that thing I want." 

I remember in the early years of my career I was an administrative person in the creative department of an advertising agency, helping the copywriters I wanted to be.... for three years. Then I worked in horrific retail jobs writing headlines like "SALE 29.99 No-Iron Slacks" for four years. Then I finally got a job doing what I wanted to do in an advertising agency. Over the first 10 years of my career I cultivated contacts and a portfolio, ultimately going into business myself. The difference between me and all the other people who wanted to do what I wanted to do but never made it, is that I never gave up. Many writers had much easier paths than I did. I didn't get those breaks. In many cases, I just wasn't as talented as they were, frankly. But I never gave up. I wanted it that much.

The difference between you and the people who have what you want is that they were willing to do something you're not willing to do to get it. Sometimes that means taking a lower paying job. Putting up with awful working conditions. Working for years without advancement. Making sacrifices of time, family, relationships or other things of value. Or simply putting in your time and paying your dues. 

Anytime I see myself looking over the fence at someone with a more sparkling career or relationship or whatever, I can't bring myself to be jealous. I can't tell myself that they're just lucky or they had different opportunities or anything like that. Because the truth is that they were willing to do what it took to get it. And so far I haven't been. We really can't blame our regrets about things like this on anything other than ourselves, imo. I know that sounds harsh, but it was seven years before I got the job I went into business to get. Seven very poorly paid years working way below my capability and talent level. It never once occurred to me to give up. 

The good news is that, if you're reading this, you're probably not too old to go after that thing you still want. I'm going after a new dream and I'm 49. I know it will take years to build. I'm willing to put in that time and make that effort. But this isn't just about careers. I've been working on my psychic development for 25 years. Same with my spiritual development and personal growth. I'm still working on all that and will be until the day I die, because I want to be the best, most authentic person I can be. I want to do my soul proud. 

On the other side of the fence, I had someone recently remind me that if I had put the effort into finding a gentleman companion that I put into the five million little side projects that I always have going on in my life, I'd also have a successful love life. If I focused on weight loss the way I focus on these blogs every day, I'd be four sizes smaller. If I put the effort into caring for my home that I put into Facebook, I'd have a spotless home. But I don't. And there's nothing to blame outside of myself for that. I accept that.

Although you wouldn't know it by looking at an individual shoot, its leaves quaking vulnerably in the wind, the Aspen puts out a complex network of roots and shoots, breaking ground here and there until one day it's the largest, most enduring single organism on the planet. This is how we build anything worth having, imo. So if you have what you want in life—whether it's your family, your friends, your self development or your career—recognize all the work it took to build and be proud of that. And if you're still working toward something truly worth having, persist. If you're willing to do what it takes to get it, you will.

*Today's entry is a reprise of the one posted on 7/13/11. This is actually the second time I've re-read and repeated this post. I like it that much. :D

12/5/12—Saving Ourselves

Today's Draw: Eight of Swords from the Lazy Afternoon Tarot by Karen West. Where are you feeling trapped in your life right now? Is there a situation where you feel "damned if I do, and damned if I don't"? Are you waiting on someone or something else to make a move before you can be free of this situation?

Today's entry is dedicated to Amanda Donnelly, author of the 78 Whispers In My Ear blog. This week Amanda has reminded me of a couple of great decks I've forgotten or neglected. When I saw her post images of this deck, it sparked my memory. I knew I had the deck, but where was it? And why haven't I featured it more on my blog? Something has most certainly gone goofy in the universe. 

Anyway, I found it. In the last place I looked. It was in the box of decks I keep in my living room because they're either favorites or decks I want to explore further in the future. It's a big box. Things get lost in there. Good things. 

So today I'm finally doing right by this deck. It's a limited edition of 50 copies and there are still a few left. Buy them at etsy before they're all gone. Because it really is cute. The deck's name comes from the fact that the artist drew each card in less than 15 minutes using sharpies and crayons...a perfect process for a lazy afternoon. It's mostly RWS based and has alternate Lovers cards, depending on whether you like same sex love or opposite sex love. That's a interesting thing a few deck creators are doing these days. 

Anyway, I like talking about the Eight of Swords because it usually shows a woman who is bound, but not too tightly. She could get away. But being bound is a good excuse not to get away. The post I did on 11/26 talked about the stories we tell ourselves to remain stuck in life. This is very similar to that. The blindfold and ropes that hold her back are symbolic of her fears and the excuses she makes in honor of them. 

A lot of times we may think of this as a situation involving someone else...some situation between you and another that leaves you feeling trapped. But it really could just be limitations you place on yourself. The swords might suggest that you're limiting your own self expression in some matter. Or that you're not allowing your thoughts to "go there" in some situation. You feel trapped by what you're able to think, do or say, but really the only person standing in your way is yourself. And the more you stand in your own way, the deeper the hole you dig for yourself. 

Consider a situation where someone is minimizing you in some way. Somewhere along the line, you made that ok by not immediately shutting them down the first time it happened. Then it happened again and you clenched your teeth, let it slide. Then it kept happening and you just grinned and bared it. Then you realized you'd trained the person to treat you that way, so you kept allowing it. And you became trapped by it. You saw it chipping away at your self esteem and you continued to let it go on. 

It's not the other person that has you trapped in this dynamic. It's you. You can point to the ropes and the swords and the blindfold all you want, but nobody else holds the key to your escape but you. You may get knicked by the swords/words/ideas around you in the process of getting free. It may get a little bloody. But chances are it won't take as much out of you as has been taken the entire time you've been trapped. 

As long as we place the blame on our situations and patterns on some outside force, we will forever be caught up in a trap of our own choosing. It's only when we realize that we were both our victimizer and our savior all along, that we're able to break free.

12/4/12—Fueling the Spark

Today's Draw: The Ace of Wands from Dame Darcy's Mermaid Tarot. Do you have a lot of unfinished creative projects around your home? Do you find you get excited about a hobby and then abandon it? Are you more motivated by a hobby you're good at or one you suck at, but enjoy doing?

First of all, this is a really cute deck you can get from etsy. It's fully illustrated, mostly in RWS style, but with mermaids. The card stock is sufficient, but a tad thin. Unless you're a stock freak, however, it shouldn't keep you from buying this sweet, self-published deck. And it does come with a guide that you can download. 

Now that we're done with THAT, the Ace of Wands is about a spark of energy or creativity that comes to you. But as the deck's guide points out, it's the kindling. And kindling doesn't last long on its own. You need to use that spark as your impetus ASAP or the next time you turn around, it will be gone. 

I frequently find myself "sitting" on projects. I was all fired up to do them at one point, then I decided to think about them. Then thinking turned into not thinking. And not thinking turned into not getting anything done. If my sister is reading this, that is what happened to her plier pouch I AM going to make. I got all the materials together, then I started the dreaded thinking and rethinking. Fortunately for her, shame is good motivator for me, too. So she'll get it. Sometime. And now that I've mentioned it on my blog, probably sometime soon. 

But that's what happens if we don't keep the momentum going. As someone who works in a creative field, I know that ideas are nothing without execution. But often in everyday life, we might find ourselves tending more toward idea generation than actually executing the idea. That's how it goes with my hobbies. And that's why, as kind and "generous" as I my seem in some ways, it's rare that I will promise someone one of my hobby creations. I like to have to have the freedom to just generate ideas and no actual outcomes. Otherwise, it becomes like my work, where I HAVE to generate outcomes. 

Something interesting about this card, though, is that I first saw it as a drowning woman still holding on to a sunken boat's oar. Of course, it's not that at all. It's a mermaid offering up the wand of energy and creativity. But I thought the other way was an interesting interpretation of an Ace of Wands. Like even though she was sinking away, she was still offering up one last spark...one last move toward creation. 

Sometimes a creative person invests so much of themselves into something that it can drag them down. We perfect and hone and bleed our creativity into a turkey of a project until it sucks the very life out of us. 

So I hereby declare this card as saying two things...don't let the sparks that come to you go out. Pursue them. Stoke them. And build them into a blazing success, if that's what's intended. But also know when to stop fueling the flame. Some fires might exist solely to get to a certain place and then be abandoned. They may have only come to offer lessons or techniques that you'll need down the road. That's all part of the creative process, too. 

I've heard people try a hobby, for example, only to give up when they hit a roadblock halfway through or didn't like the outcome. They decide they have no talent, aren't worthy, aren't as good as so-and-so...whatever. And what they don't understand is that so-and-so is only as good as they are because they knew which flames to fan, which to snuff out, and were to look for other flames. 

That only comes from pushing past our fear of failure. We place so much emphasis on talent when, perhaps, an equal or more powerful force in creativity is discretion. Everybody is good at something. But sometimes you have to fuel a few sparks before you find it. 

12/3/12—Believing is Seeing

Today's Draw: The Knight of Vesicas from the Glastonbury Tarot. What do believe about money? Is it hard to get...in unlimited supply...the root of all evil? What do believe about yourself in regard to earning and spending money? Can you see how those beliefs are reflected back to you through your current money situation? 

The Glastonbury Tarot is an out-of-print deck that I have been wanting for a while. It's one of those decks that was never at the top of my list to acquire, but always in the back of my mind. Then a couple of weeks ago someone posted a question about what decks are on your wish list and it occurred to me that my wish list was pretty complete. And then I remembered the Glastonbury. And I went to Amazon and found a seller selling one for a reasonable price and it was like kismet. 

Ever since I was a kid, I've always had a mindset that I never want for much. My parents were by no means rich, but there was never anything I wanted that I didn't get. Nothing I seriously wanted, at least. And throughout my life, I've always thought this a curious thing. Is it because I really don't want much? Is that why I've been so lucky as to get the things I want? Because one thing's for sure...if I had wanted a new car or a pony or anything truly expensive, it never would have happened. 

So that's always been my conundrum...do I always get what I want because I always get what I want (and we're talking material things here, not things like love or a 25" inch waistline)? Or do I always get what I want because I don't really want anything I can't afford to have? There's just something with me and material/monetary things that seems to work out. Like this past spring when Kizzie had to have an operation...the day after learning how much it would cost, a client called me for an "extra" job that had to be done very quickly and would be very time-consuming. The minute I wondered if I could afford it, life told me I could. Kismet. 

So why am I telling you this? Because I like to brag about how wonderful I am and how I'm dripping in jewels? Haha. No. Trust me, I live a simple life and I don't really ask for much, so I'm grateful that I get what I ask for. I'm telling you this because that's the what the Knight of Vesicas is all about. First of all, for those of you who don't know, vesica piscis is that almond shaped form that you see where the two circles intersect in the picture...the shape in the very center of the larger circle. It has mystical/astrological meaning and it's a form in sacred or universal geometry. In this deck, it hearkens to the design on Chalice Well, a holy well at the foot of Glastonbury Tor in England. 

In this deck, the Vesicas take the place of Pentacles, which is the sign of money and material things. And the Knight has conquered this energy. He is in control over it, rather than it having control over him. His command of this energy is so great that he doesn't even have to watch the energy as it rises. He just trusts that it will continue to rise. 

Many times we don't think of anything other than living creatures as having energy. But money *is* energy. First off, the money you have reflects the energy you put into your work. Your paycheck is a reflection of the energy of your work...the energy of your ambition...the energy of your prowess...the energy of your self confidence. The difference between people who earn a lot and people who don't is all about energy. Mind you, I'm not saying "effort". I'm saying energy.

My competitors who make more money than me, do so because they have more drive, ambition, desire, confidence...their set point for what they want from life helps them generate different energy than me. Their desires will have them manifesting different opportunities and recognizing those opportunities when they come along. We attach ourselves to different set points based on what we want, yes, but more so what we believe about ourselves and our ability to create things in the universe. It's not about working harder or merely wanting more. It's about matching your energy to the energy of what you want. 

So what I'm saying here is that if you're in debt all the time, or just making enough to get by, that's based on energy. It's based on the energy of the beliefs you have about yourself and the way the world works. I've believed all my life that I always get what I want and I just don't want a whole lot. So that has been my reality. If I choose to believe tomorrow that I always get MORE than what I want, that will come to me, too. But I'll have to believe it. Which means I'll have to find and let go of whatever is limiting my energy from vibrating to the "more than I want" belief and overall vibe.

My beliefs on this drive every money and career decision I make. The same is true for someone who earns millions, but files for bankruptcy. For Oprah, who will always have way more than she needs. For the modest earner that has a hefty 401K. And for wealthy peeps who live on a budget far beneath their earnings. It's all driven by our beliefs about money, about ourselves and about God, karma and/or our beliefs about manifestation, hard work, etc. 

Do you see this principle at work in your own life? Do you see how the same principles apply to more than just money?