12/16/11—Wrapping Gifts in Resentment

Today's Draw: Two of Pentacles from the Infinite Visions. Do you find yourself giving more than you get? Do you give time, energy and presents, even when it makes you bitter? What emotion will you be wrapping your gifts in this year?

The Two of Pentacles is about balance in earthly matters. We had this exact same card from the same deck back on May 18th and we talked about earning what you're worth. But tonight it brings up something different for me—having balanced and equitable relationships. 

To be clear, I'm not talking about taking out some yardstick in your relationships and making sure everything's even. Life doesn't work like that. But I'm talking about putting some consideration into people who tend to take more than give in the relationship. Sometimes it's a friend who doesn't think of anything that exists beyond the tip of their nose. Sometimes it's someone who only pops into your life when they need something. And sometimes it's about someone who just sucks the energy out of you. 

In the past, when I've felt used or whatever, I've moved on from the relationship. That was easier than looking at what role I played in attracting them to me in the first place. Once I started taking some responsibility for those relationships, I found other solutions...like giving only when I really meant it or getting together only when I had the energy to give. 

Many times we'll give because we want to be liked or because we want others to give back. We'll listen because we think we have to. And in doing so, we're kind of poisoning the gift. Because we're not giving it for the right reasons. Then when we don't get what we expect in return, we'll follow the gift with ill thoughts. So before and after, we're wrapping gifts in resentment. This is just as true of physical gifts, like presents, as it is the gifts of our time and attention.

Beyond person-to-person relationships, there's also our personal relationship with the higher power we need to consider. Of course the universe is infinitely funded with energy and patience and whatnot, but is it possible you're receiving a little more than you're giving back to God and universe?

Anyway, this entry is really just about considering these things, not that you have to do anything about them. But consider the relationships in your life—whether they're personal, professional or with your higher power. Do you give too much or take too much? And are you taking responsibility for your role in the dynamic? With the holidays upon us, it may be a good time to make sure we're wrapping our gifts in love and not resentment.