Wednesday, December 7, 2011

12/8/11—Remaining True to Your Vision

Today's Draw: The Hermit from the Pathfinder's Tarot. Are you having a hard time finding the path you want to walk these days? How do you think you lost sight of it? And what were YOUR Rite Aid bonus savings this month?

I was so excited to receive this deck in the mail that I didn't even wait for the book to arrive to do today's reading. You can't see it in the picture, but this deck uses gold metallic ink in very strategic ways. I'm a bit of a snob about that. I don't like metallic for metallic's sake, but if you use it wisely to enhance the art and meaning, I'm all about it. And I prefer the ink to the foil. Anyone who's ever seen a Bohemian Gothic Silver will know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. 

Now that I'm done boring all the non-tarot peeps, I will say The Hermit is the solitary seeker, the one who sets out on a path for wisdom and enlightenment. It's a card of introspection and understanding. And it's also a card for someone who just wants to be alone. 

To me, this Hermit feels like he's walking against the wind, hunched over to find his path through the darkness. I kind of feel that way myself these days. I'm in a situation right now where I've been hired by someone who has informed me that it doesn't matter what I write, they will be rewriting it. Because it's their "thing".

I'm not really taking that part of it personally, though it does show disregard for what a professional writer brings to the table. The person who said that isn't a writer themselves, nor do they claim to know anything about marketing. While I can deal with that, there are some other aspects of this situation that have pushed my buttons more. Add to that, I've been really stressed out by deadlines the past couple of days and my hand's been hurting and I've been typing for 10-12 hours straight each day. So I'm not in my spirit right now. And to top it all off, as I was writing this, my Rite Aid bonus card savings statement arrived in my email telling me the average customer saved $25.00 last month. And I saved $0.00. Even Rite Aid is saying I'm performing BELOW AVERAGE!!! Gah!

I don't really feel that. I'm just a bit..uninspired and sucked clean of my energy. But as I was sitting here, all introspective-like, wondering how and why I got myself in a situation that feels so no-win, a lightbulb went off. See, you've probably read before about how I have the world's best clients who shower me with praise and appreciation. I'm not being facetious. It's true. And it's due to some standards I've set for my business (namely only working for people who think I'm the bomb...haha.) But it occurred to me that this project is one I might not normally have said yes to, but did anyway. 

So the path I'm all hunched over to see in the dim light was lost way back when I said yes to something I didn't feel good about. Any loss of pride or integrity of vision I'm "suffering" isn't coming at the hands of someone else. It's all on me. (For the curious, I said yes before the conversation about rewriting occurred.)

Look, I'm being overly dramatic here. My situation is far from dire. I'm making a good earning doing solid work for decent people. I'm not losing anything here but my patience and some pride. For many people, that wouldn't be "nothin' but a thang". For me, though, it equates to a sizeable portion of why I do what do. 

See, I recently had the sheer pleasure of interviewing a bunch of executives about what their mission was in life. I can't tell you how wonderful it was to hear people light up in passion and realize the job they're doing right this minute is on course with their life's mission. It was also really cool guiding some of them through the process. Some people have never thought about it before and I got to give them that gift.

It makes me all weepy thinking about it even now. Because my vision includes moving people with my words. It's why I do these entries every day. It's why I work in advertising. It's why I read tarot. And it's why I want to write spiritual books. I think the older I get and the further down that path I travel, the less willing I am to share that with those who can't appreciate my craft. Look, I've been a professional writer for 25 years. I'm not whining about people making edits. This is about people not even caring whether what I write is good or not...they just want to rewrite it.

What I'm learning here is that it takes a lot of energy and spirit out of you to bend your mission and vision to accommodate others. More energy than it takes to say no or uphold your integrity of vision. I won't be letting these people down. I'll give my best as I always do, all the way to the end. Regardless of what they do with it. Because that's part of who I am, too. Even if it sucks the life out of me, I'll find the energy to do my best...haha.

This is a lesson I've learned many times before, but it snuck up on me. This is the surprise attack I warned you all about back in my 12/2 entry. It's just a toe over the line, compared to the lessons that started defining this part of my vision back in the day. The good news is I think I've finally got it this time.


  1. this is an interesting card, but the only pathfinder's tarot I can find is all animals. Do you have a site link?

  2. Sharyn, this deck is sold through the One Spirit book club and another book club, from what I could find. It's sold as a set with a large book. I also was not able to find anything about it when I was shopping for it. But here are some links to purchase the deck and book separately on Amazon.