Today's Draw: Four of Disks from the Mary-El Tarot by Marie White. Do you have unfinished details that hang over your head? Is there some issue in your life that everyone else seems to manage beautifully, but you just can't at this time? What are you letting go of—or need to let go of—in order to move forward on your path?
OK. First I have to say how excited I am to finally have this deck in my hot little hands. I've been watching the progress of this deck for years and it's gorgeous beyond gorgeous. Today's card, beautiful as it is, is one of the more plain cards in the deck. If you're viewing this on Facebook, links and additional pictures can be found at http://thedailytarotdraw.blogspot.com/
The Mary-El takes a non-traditional approach to the tarot. The book says it borrows from all three major systems—the Tarot de Marseilles, Rider Waite and Thoth—and incorporates our own inner truths. The few cards I've chosen so far don't seem especially Waite-y or Thoth-y to me. I can't speak for TdM. In Waite, the Four of Disks would signify holding on too tight to resources. In the Thoth it's a card of power and stability.
In the Mary-El's meaning, stability plays a large role, but with additional nuances to the the Thoth meaning. It speaks of the path of life and how we move through the cliffs of polarity, down into the abyss, through valleys and deserts, lush forests and ancient ruins, then up through the foothills to finally reach the pinnacle of our divinity and redemption. The card calls for us to take care of our physical life—body, home, environment—because settling what is outside will settle what is inside. 
Combining all of that with my own inner truths, I'll say I'm notorious for putting off until tomorrow what I can do today. Case in point: I only filed my 2010 taxes a few weeks ago (totally legally, by the way...haha). I had a shed that was basically a pile of metal that I kept alive for years with layers of tarps so I wouldn't have to fix it. I went without a dishwasher for an entire year because my old one broke. This is the way it goes for me. I'm great with a deadline and my job depends on me meeting them. But I suck at open-ended things that don't have to be done by a certain time. I am a highly capable and intelligent woman, but the stupidest things render me frozen and immobile. 
In the meantime, they hang over my head and eat away at me. Everything eventually gets done. But even if I'm not thinking about it consciously, it's in there poking at me. When it finally gets done, I feel a great deal of relief. But the thing is, there's always something like that in my life and I should probably do a reading sometime to explore why. Could just be one of those extremely rare ways in which I'm not absolutely perfect. ;)
With me, it's about fixing stuff that's broken—things that don't have to be fixed TODAY. With you it might be paying off an old loan...relaxing your compulsion for being fastidious...dealing with a physical addiction...doing an errand you've been putting off...bringing the car in for inspection...anything where something outside of you is causing repercussions on the inside of you. Distracting your mind. Popping up in your head as you're falling asleep. Causing you to opt for denial. That's what I think about when the card talks about settling the outside to settle the inside.
The older I get, the more balanced and content I become. And the more balanced and content I become, the more I see how it's not necessary to go down into the abyss and through valleys and deserts to get to a more peaceful and stable place. I still have stumbling blocks I'm working on, as we all do and will. I've still my issues with fixing things, but a lot of my other issues have fallen by the wayside. Today I have a clearer view of what matters in life. With that comes a better idea for the lay of the land. And the more we bring life into perspective, the more we find there are bridges and trams and such that can elevate us from where we are to where we want to be without all the twists and turns in between. 
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