4/9/12—Ordering Fries With That

Today's Draw: Six of Wands from the Black Fantasy Tarot. Are you trying to make a change in your life, but it seems like situations are conspiring against you? Has this kind of thing kept you from making some of the changes you've wanted to make in the past? Are you ready to give up?

This is an interesting little tarot deck I came across recently. All the cards are simple like this and the artist tells us to use the interpretations from aeclectic.net. And their interpretation is that this card means victory. And while I'm happy to agree with that, I'm also seeing something else today—focus and determination...the things you need to achieve the victory you seek. 

Imagine you're at McDonald's and you order a large chocolate shake in the drive thru. Here's how the conversation is likely to go:

DRIVE THRU:  "Welcome to McDonald's. Would you like to try one of our extra value meals?"

YOU:  "No, thank you. I'd like a large chocolate shake."

DRIVE THRU:  "A large chocolate shake?"

YOU:  "Yes, a large chocolate shake."

DRIVE THRU:  "Would you like anything else today? How about some fries with that?"

YOU:  "No thank you. Just the shake."

DRIVE THRU:  "OK, that's one large chocolate shake. That will $3.89. Drive to the first window, please."

Sound pretty familiar? Well, the same thing happens when you decide to make a change or ask for something from the universe. 

Say, for example, you're determined to say "no" more often to the people who are always asking you for your time or resources. So you decide you're not going to be suckered in any longer. Next thing you know, Marcie calls you. She is running late, as usual, has a whole dramatic story and needs you to drive her kids to school. You say you're really busy and can't possibly fit it in. Situation handled. You're a naysaying machine!

But then a few days later, Karla calls you and ups the ante. Her husband has surprised her with an anniversary getaway weekend and it's going to be SOOOO romantic! He found a babysitter and everything. But the thing is, it's Karla's turn to bake five dozen cupcakes for tomorrow's PTA meeting. And she has to get her hair and nails done before she leaves town. And she'd also like to surprise her husband with a little something something from Victoria's Secret. And you're the best baker she knows. The best in the whole PTA. And she'll owe you one. It's her ANNIVERSARY and her husband is FINALLY being romantic!!!!

But here's the thing, Karla already owes you at least two or three, if not more. And the reason is because every time you need Karla, you can't seem to get her on the phone. She calls back when her help is no longer needed. But she feels REALLY bad about not being there for you. On top of that, Karla's one of the reasons you realized you needed to say no in the first place. She's there for you when it's convenient for her to be, but she's not there for you in clutch situations.

It's Karla's anniversary. You don't want to disappoint her. And, now that she mentions it, you DO make the best cupcakes in the PTA. What do you do?

Think of this as the equivalent of your "do you want fries with that?" moment. 

See, you've been chugging away like this for years. You TAUGHT people to take from you because you've always offered yourself up so readily in the past. And, while normal people would insist upon doing something nice for you for all the nice things you've done, you're not surrounded by normal people. You're surrounded by people who will take until you stop giving. Because that's the dynamic you've always accepted.

So, all of a sudden, the universe is supposed to think you're serious about changing? You said you were serious about losing weight last week, but you've just ordered a chocolate shake from McDonald's! No, the universe needs to be sure you're serious, so it sends tests. And once you pass those tests, it sends tougher ones to determine your boundaries around what you've said you want. You proved you could say no, but what if it's a truly special occasion? What then?

We make a mistake when we ask for change and expect the people or situations that bother us are just going to disappear from our lives like "poof!" Yet, often that's why we give up. Because it's hopeless. The takers are NOT happy. And, clearly, the universe is working against us.

But, in fact, the universe is in the process of giving us exactly what we need. It just wants to make sure we really want it because......you know........the chocolate shake. And it also needs to know what the new parameters will be, because you've always been a sucker for a good sob story in the past. 

So think about where this may apply to your life right now. Maybe it's not around saying "no". Maybe it's about speaking your mind to others. Maybe it's about trying to leave a bad relationship. Or maybe it's about always leaving work so late you never get your workout in. You're going to be tested. Your boundaries are going to be pushed.

Are you going to say "I give up! I'm doomed to my miserable life!"?

Or are you going to defiantly sip your chocolate shake and say "bring it on, universe. Bring. It. On!"?