Monday, October 14, 2013

10/15/13 —Choosing Your Life Before You're Born

Today's Draw Classic*: The Life We Long Ago Chose from Illuminate! Life Journey Cards by Linda Clayton, Part 2. Do you believe it's possible you chose exactly the life you're living long before you were even born? Why might you have chosen this life, with both its struggles and its gifts? What did your soul come here to learn?

What I'm going to talk about today is something not everyone is going to believe in. But it's something that's interesting to consider nonetheless. It requires believing we all have souls that may have been alive as humans before.

People who believe in souls generally believe that the soul comes to earth in human form to learn lessons for its own growth and/or healing. If that sounds like a reasonable belief to you, then it's not far off to consider that your soul (or some other force) might have a hand in choosing the lessons it would learn while in your body in this lifetime. I mean, they don't just come down here to learn a lesson-free life, right? That would boring. And, besides, have you ever met anyone who had nothing to learn in their lifetime? Of course not. So it's logical to assume that souls might come down here with some sort of agenda or lesson plan to complete.

Looking at the image above, imagine you're the soul on the right and you're just about to travel down into some lady's pregnant belly and be born on the earth plane. What happened in the moments before you made your journey? What agreements did you make? What lesson did you say you were willing to learn? What tradeoffs were you willing to make to learn those lessons? And what lessons did you NOT come down to learn? What was that "life you long ago chose?"

For example, I don't think I came here to learn any lessons about poverty. I'm by no means well off, but I've got a life I'm very comfortable with. I've been like that every day of my life and there's no reason for me to believe that won't continue. My situation may not be enough for a lot of people—I'm not someone who's into extravagant things, so I don't require as much as someone who is. I can easily live without the things I can't afford. I don't overspend. And when things are a little tight, money or opportunity always shows up for me. So struggling over monetary or material concerns doesn't seem to be on my list this time around.

But what might be on my list is learning different avenues to love beyond the romantic form. Romantic relationships haven't worked out well for me in the past, meaning the cost felt greater than the value received. The longest relationship I've had was just shy of two years. After that, you can count the string of others in months apiece.

I just don't think I'm made for it, frankly. I like men. I enjoy sex. But some key ingredient in having a good, solid relationship with a man eludes me. It's probably because I'm a loner at heart. And I don't want to be tied down to anything that might limit my options. I'm sure most people don't see love in that way, but I do. And even though the highs of life are higher when I'm coupled than when I'm not (and, I might add, the lows are lower), overall I'm happier without a man in my life. I'm more balanced. I'm more "me".

That said, I feel more love in my life the way it is now than I've ever received from being coupled. I pour my own love into my dogs and my work and my dreams and hobbies and friends. And all of that gives right back to me in palpable ways. I believe that, because I'm not dependent on—or distracted by—the dynamics of romantic love, I've become more attuned to some of these other forms. In short, I'm not missing anything in the love department, and looking around me, I thoroughly believe I experience more love on a daily basis than the average person does. It's just not romantic love.

And let me clear here...I fully acknowledge that other peoples' experiences of romantic love are different than mine. For some people the dynamics are effortless. For others, being alone leaves them feeling like something's missing. I get that and I'm not making comment on others' choices. I'm just speaking of my experience and what I have and haven't come here to learn. Self-reliance, finding new avenues to love, feeling okay with being different in that regard—all of these are things I'm here to learn.

Which brings me around to say it hasn't always been easy. It's hard when every decision rests firmly on your shoulders. And trust me, my choices are frequently misunderstood. People think I'm asexual or a lesbian or afraid or have never experienced love. For most people, being the way I am is outside their frame of reference. Either they think something's wrong with me or they're convinced I'm unhappy.

So another lesson I've come to learn is allowing others to feel and think whatever they want about me in this move beyond the ego need of fitting in to others' ideas of how I should be. Truth is, when I meet a man who can add more than he subtracts in my life, I'll be happy to meet him. But in the meantime, I've built a nice nest o'luv for myself through other means. So nice in fact, I'm not motivated to go looking for him. And because like attracts like, he's probably not looking for me either. And we're good with that. ;)

Anyway, those are just a few of the lessons and tradeoffs I figure my soul might have made before coming to earth. Thinking this way works for me, because I figure if we made an agreement about something before coming here, then we might be more agreeable to the things we just can't seem to try to figure out.

Entertaining this line of thought is great for introspection, but it's also interesting to consider when you look back over the life of someone you've loved who has now passed on. From that final perspective, it's interesting to see how their entire life might have led to that final moment. We all have a story like that...a trajectory upon which our life moves. Sure it may all be random. And there may be no such thing as soul or an agreement or a past or future life. But whether you believe in that or not, musing over the "life you long ago chose" in this manner can teach you a lot about the life you're choosing now.

*From 7/24/12

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