Something happened this week that changed me.
Maybe it's something in the air. Summer in Washington, DC is known for its oppressive heat and humidity, but this summer isn't so hot or humid. Sure, we've had our days. But this week has been in the low 80s, breezy and not so humid. In fact, the other night I went to sit outside with my dogs and I had to grab a wrap to keep me warm. I don't get cold easily, so that was definitely something different. For July.
The change is that I felt like a thin veil had been lifted off me and my mood was somehow lighter for it. The funny (sad?) thing is that I didn't even realize the veil was there, weighing me down, until it came off. I don't think it was depression as much as maybe stress. Summer tends to sort of pull down my energy, as if the heat sits upon my shoulders with everything else, making life more of a drudge.
But like I said, the veil lifted. And I think it's the weather. I usually feel much lighter and more optimistic in autumn. It's like each falling leaf and each lowered degree of temperature comes right off the top of my head and shoulders where it's been perched all summer long.
I never seem to feel the veil arriving, but I do feel it leaving. And so do my dogs. I'm not so grumpy in the fall. I have more patience for their obsessive behaviors and make more time for their gestures of love. This builds on itself and makes me feel even lighter.
It could also be that this July has been particularly stressful, but the stressful parts are now in the past. It could be that and the weather combined. Regardless, I hope it stays like this for a while. For all I know, there's another veil on top of me that could also break free at any moment. It might just sweep me off my feet.
I didn't remember until I wrote that last sentence, but in my music healing visualization this month, I was both the person and a veil. The images that came to me were of a woman in a diaphanous gown holding a long, silken veil that undulated and danced in the breeze. At times, the woman and the veil moved as one, at times the veil had a life of its own separate from the woman, and at other times, the woman lay dark and prone as the veil tried unsuccessfully to fly free of her. Throughout it all, it occurred to me that the veil was what moved with life's changes and only the woman resisted.
If I can see any message connected to both my healing session and what I experienced this week it's to fly free, regardless of what stressors may weigh you down. I'll be the first to admit that I indulge my grayer emotions too much. Working on that has been a lifelong project. And sometimes you have to feel the fear or work through the disappointment. But if the veil in my visualization is my spirit self, it's telling me I can be a drag...haha. Just like the veil that lifted this week was a drag on me.
I have two different veil metaphors working here, so sorry if it's confusing. Another possibility is that both veils are the same and my human self and spirit self dance about together and each of us brings light and clouds to the landscape of life. I'm not really sure what it means. But life feels good and on the upswing this week, so I'll take that.