So there's this one lesson that I seem to learn over and over again. Which is to say, I haven't really learned it...haha. But I am getting better and better at it.
For many, it's one of the hardest lessons to learn—the absence of worry is far more constructive than worry.
The reason it's so hard to learn is because our default setting is worry. Dread. Planning. Controlling. Fear. Something inside us tells us that if we slack off, even just a little, everything will go to shit.
But one of the things I've learned over the years is that a certain percentage of efforts go to shit and a far greater percentage of efforts pay off in some way. And even the efforts that go to shit pay off in some way or another. So there are really no outcomes that produce nothing of value. And, get this, all of this happens whether you worry or not.
You can argue that worry makes sure nothing goes wrong and no deadlines are missed. And you can also argue that worry taints the outcome with the acidic bile of its own juices, by shaping it into some abnormal vision of what the universe originally meant it to be...haha. So, in essence, the drawbacks of worry cancel out the benefits and make it nothing more than a waste of energy.
When you're trying to manifest something in your life or create change of any kind, your thoughts and your attitude are key. Let's place "magic" to the side...the way you carry yourself when you're thinking good thoughts makes you more open and attractive in the world than worry does. That alone makes a huge difference in whatever you're able to accomplish.
But if you do believe that thoughts shape our outcomes, then worry is a poison you pour over your best intentions. And there are many other ways of believing...if you believe in chaos theory or existentialism or anything like that, then what's going to happen is going to happen anyway. If you're a Christian and you've prayed to Christ, then worry is kind of like slapping him in the face, right? It shows you don't trust in whatever answer he deems suitable to your prayers. So no matter how you slice and no matter what you believe (unless you're part of some weird tribe that worships worry) worry has no value.
Depending on what you believe, your manifestation, fate, Christ, intention or just your own focused actions are what matters. Trusting in that helps. Distrusting in it just makes you crazy and it may even make matters worse.
Over the last couple of months, I've had something to worry about. And, instead of worrying, I just let go and let it work itself out. In fact, I forgot I even had something worth worrying about. And by the time I remembered, the solution had already manifested!
Now, I can see how that would worry a worrier. But here's the beauty part...if you're a worrier, you're not going just going to wash your hands of all responsibility. You're going to be present to push the proper buttons when button pushing time comes to help your prayer along. You just don't have to sweat it until that times comes. You'll recognize the time...trust me, the universe didn't go through all the trouble of setting you up just to let you blow it in the clutch. And in the meantime, you haven't been there trying to shove a square peg into a round hole just to get your pain over with.
When you want to create something new in your life, the first step is to name it. And I always recommend that people ask for a feeling rather than a thing. Because it's the feeling you want—the love, the happiness, the power, the stability, whatever—not the guy named Stan, the house on the ocean, the promotion or the money. All those things are good and may come to you, but they're nothing if they don't deliver the feeling you want from them. For example, if your home ends up being in a salt marsh instead of on the ocean...if it makes you happier than you've ever been, are you really going to split hairs?
And the second step is the hardest. The second step after you name what you want, is that you have to let go of it. You have to let go of how it comes to you, when it comes to you, what it looks like when it arrives and all that other stuff. You just have to trust. Trust that what you'll receive will be what's right for you at this time. Trust that you will recognize your cue to take the reigns. Trust that you really can't make any mistakes, even if you make a "mistake." Trust, I guarantee you, makes whatever you manifest all the sweeter, because it leaves room for magic to happen...magic you weren't clever enough to imagine, but God was.
Life is not a success-only journey. Sometimes we get exactly what we wanted and we get it quickly. And sometimes, we have to learn a thing or two before we're capable of making space for thing we asked for. Things like worry and, btw, giving up and stomping off because we don't like the way things are turning out, are like canceling your order before it's filled. So just sit back and relax. Stop trying to make things happen and let fortune wash over you, whatever form it comes in. Everything is an answer to your prayer. But first you have to learn how to trust.