6/15/12—Facing the Pain of Changing

Today's Draw: The 3 of Tools from the Regretsy Tarot. Do you know someone who's always whining and moaning about this or that? Is that just the way they are? Or do you think it's possible they don't know any other way to be?

The Regretsy Tarot's snark is darkening our doorway once again in the Three of Tools. If you're trying to align the suit of tools with traditional tarot suits, good luck. That's not really the Regretsy Tarot's way. But this does bear a small resemblance to the Three of Swords. Except there are gears instead of swords. And a decisive lack of compassion in the book. In fact, the book description for this card is so unique, I've chosen to quote it here for you in its entirety:

"Three gears sit atop a weeping red heart. Underneath the heart are torn definitions from an old dictionary. Some of the words are “anguish”, “damnation”, “griefstricken”, “grief”, “fraught”, etc.

The Clockwork Heart is a rather complicated, deep card, akin to an Emo tween slitting their wrists with a plastic spoon while listening to the latest 70’s punk band that’s suddenly new again.

This is the card of Ultimate Butthurt and Crying Glitter Tears. Someone, or something has put sand in the clockwork of your newly Steampunk heart, and it’s interfering with your functionality.

Rather than sharing your butthurt with the internet, relax. Have a few shots. Retreat into your PRIVATE hugbox for pets and kudos. You must learn to deal with the pain in order to grow, and lashing out will only turn you into a bigger joke."

In one way or another, I've been trying to make this point all week. But since "butthurt", "glitter tears" and "hugbox" weren't in my lexicon, I was unable to express myself clearly. Note to self: buy new, more modern thesaurus.

The thing is, when we have a conflict or someone hurts our feelings, our impulse is to reach out to others. And there is NOTHING wrong with that, Regretsy Tarot. BUT sometimes that's all we do. Which is why the same darned things keep happening to us over and over. At some point, we need to bring our butthurt and glitter tears into our private hugbox for review and take a good hard look at the role we play in each and every conflict that comes our way. Because it's really not "all their fault". It's really not. Some of it is you. 

Another point the Regretsy Tarot makes is kind of humorous. You all have them on your Facebook feed or in your 3D world—people who beyotch and moan over every sling and arrow of outrageous fortune. I feel comfortable talking about them here, because they don't read my blogs. They're too busy spewing and playing the victim. 

I have one on Facebook that is particularly entertaining. She's very "street". To the point that I can't understand much of what she says. But I do understand things like "that's* why your African American* rear end* is in jail" and "that's* what you get for making love* to someone else's girlfriend*, fine sir*". Now if you take those words and phrases with the asterisk next to them and put them in more colorful urban vernacular akin to what you might find in a hardcore rap song, you'll get a taste for what pops up on my feed.

Now I, in my whitebred way, have taken occasion to joke with her now and then. I ask her to define certain terms and such. Turns out she does have a sense of humor on top of her Herculean anger. But there are others who shower us in their poop storms on a regular basis, have no sense of humor about it and are stuck in a pattern that never changes.

The point is, if it's always something happening outside of you and despite your best efforts because you were standing there minding your own business when it happened, it's never going to change. Until you bring it inside and say "OK, this is probably going to be painful and humbling, but I clearly played a role in this. What is my responsibility? What do I do to attract this brand of crazy in my life? What is this reflecting back to me?", you're going to keep reliving it until you get it. 

If denial is your way of avoiding the pain of looking inside, know that you will experience the pain of the conflict, betrayal or whatever over and over and over again until YOU do something to change. Many years ago I heard something about change that seems to ring true: When the pain of staying the way you are is greater than the pain of changing, that's when you'll change.

Personally I don't think you have to wait for that pain in all situations, but there are some situations where we build hurt upon hurt upon hurt until we can take it no longer. That's the wisdom of the weeping red heart in the card's illustration. Sometimes pain becomes our machine. It becomes our way of life. And the blood we lose is measured in our spirit and relationships and motivation. 

Maybe you're not bitching and moaning about it or taking it out on others. Maybe it's not even a conflict that keeps recurring. Maybe it's a point of shame or defeat that you hold instead. Some pain from the past or a sadness over a loss. Maybe it's actually that you've taken on TOO MUCH of the burden of blame and responsibility in some matter. 

Whatever pain is driving you, if it has reached the point of driving you, know that you have reached the point where the pain of changing is less than the pain of continuing on. So make today your last day without hope. Get help if you need it. Find a way out. 

And if you have someone like that in your life—and you care for them—try broaching the subject with them if they'll let you. Honestly, every time I've tried with a friend, they weren't prepared to address it. But some may be on the edge between the pain of staying the same and the pain of changing. If so, they just might need to know there's a way out. 

2/20/12—Being the Cat

Today's Draw: The Three of WTF—Human Centipede Cat Toy—from the Regretsy Tarot. Do you use your energetic tools consciously to shape your life? Or do just do the best with whatever comes along? When it comes to commanding your own life, do you live more like the cat or the cat toy?

We've featured the Regretsy Tarot before. For those of you not there at the time, this deck mocks some of the more ill-fated creative decisions made on popular crafting website, etsy. Don't even bother worrying about which tarot suit the WTF suit corresponds to. It doesn't correspond to any suit other than, perhaps, a hand-crafted, Swarovski crystal-studded business suit for your pet iguana to wear to important meetings.

In all its horrific wisdom, though, the Three of WTF poses a good question for you to consider today. The card shows two cats, both bearing the intuitive third eye and a tail for each eye. But that's not the WTF the card refers to. Because the cats are playing with what appears to be entrails, possibly from the Human Centipede cat toy at their feet.

While there were no such cat toys on etsy today, a search returned 17 Human Centipede items, from clothing to MacBook stickers. For its decorative use of ric rac, I like this one. But what's more likely to go into MY household is this.

But I digress. The question the card poses is this—are you the cat or the cat toy in this lifetime? And while I can hear all the feet shuffling to vote in the "cat" line, really consider the question. Because here's the thing...

We're given these gifts in life...the intuitive awareness that comes with the third eye, the ability to attract and spread energy that comes with the triple tails and an interconnectedness that doesn't require surgical attachment. But do we use those gifts to command our own lives? Or do we just let it lie there like toy entrails on the ground for the universe to play with? 

Do you really know your power?

This card dovetails nicely with this week's nature-inspired reading about the impact we have on the universe every day. Because, along with the ability to disrupt and shape the universe, comes the ability to reshape your life. Those ripples send and receive information every millisecond of the day. We can attract the energies we want, and move out of the direct influence of the energies we don't. We can connect with others in meaningful (again, non-surgical) ways. And we can move and redirect energies in healing ways. 

So if your thoughts and actions send out waves to create things in your life, are you watching your thoughts and actions? Are you re-molding your life from one of chaos to one of consciousness? Are you using your energies in a healing way? Are you consciously sending and receiving? Or are just kinda doing that stuff when you think about it?

Although we're all born to be the cats, it takes work and focus and practice to claim your birthright. It takes thinking of what you want as if you have it, rather than thinking about what you don't have. It takes being conscious of the ripples you send out to others...healing or not? It takes a willingness to drop hate, resentment, vengeance, bitterness and distrust from your emotional vocabulary. It takes gratitude. It takes grace. In other words, it takes an open heart, one not constricted by the thought that you're like some and unlike others. It takes a consciousness of being one with everything. It takes a whole new level of maturity and work. 

It's ok if you're not 100% on all of that. No one will be at first...or possibly even ever. And it doesn't matter one bit what the person next to you is doing. This isn't about them. It's about you. Their dislike of you has nothing to do with how open your heart can be to them. You don't need their cooperation to make this work in your life. 

And it also doesn't matter whether you believe in Jesus, Buddha or Salty the Pretzel Man. It's all about stepping into the light, wherever it comes from, and cooperating with it, rather than fighting it. Acting like someone who's worthy of it. And making it brighter, rather than diminishing it. It may seem like a lot of less work to just be the cat toy and be done with it. But when you look at your options in light of the illustration in the Three of WTFs, you'll probably agree, it's far more...palatable...to be the cat.

1/6/12—Making Your Glingers

Today's Draw: The Five of Whimsicles from the Regretsy Tarot. Do you ever find yourself silencing your unique voice? Have you ever invented/created something then put it aside because people thought it was silly? Do others have to share your thoughts and beliefs in order to make them "right" or viable?

5 of Whimsicals

OK, before I start, I need to say a few things. First, I must credit Donnaleigh de LaRose for alerting me to this deck. Second, understanding Regretsy helps understand the deck.

Etsy is a website where crafters sell their wares. I do a LOT of shopping there. Most everything is one of a kind and made by hand by dedicated artisans. There's a lot to love. BUT there's also a lot to make fun of. There are a lot of weird trends on Etsy. Like crocheted and knitted beards. Anything octopus. And, like with today's card, anything done just because it's cute.

So Regretsy is a webpage that cropped up to make fun of the more horrific crafts you find on Etsy. Their tagline is "Where DIY meets WTF". That site inspired this tarot deck. One suit is Whimsicles, which corresponds to Pentacles. The deck creators are aware that the word is spelled "whimsicals", but they spelled it wrong on purpose because, well, that's so Etsy. (Links and additional card images can be seen at http://thedailytarotdraw.blogspot.com/ )

So, as you can see on the card, the lady is sporting her "glingers", which are glove-less knitted finger warmers. Yes, you can find some on Etsy. And in the background of the card is the requisite octopus. Why? Because.

Skull Fascinator

Unlike a traditional Five of Pentacles that might be talking about poverty or poverty of spirit, this card is actually talking about how we all have our own unique way of expressing ourselves. And not just that, but no matter how crazy our idea is, we can make it work. Somebody will buy it...haha.

This echoes some of what we've been talking about all week, because we all have our own unique way of seeing God and spirituality and how to move through this world. Thinking differently is not thinking wrong. And there is room out there for all our thoughts. We should all have the courage to believe in ourselves and our own ideas more than we believe in the voice of the people around us. That's the only way anything new can ever see the light of day.

Maybe glingers aren't the answer to the world's problems. But maybe someone with arthritic knuckles has been waiting for glingers all their life. You never know.

4 of Genitalia

Creative people come across this stuff all their lives. While I was writing this, someone had posted on Facebook about what a genius Steve Jobs was, but what a jerk he was, too (based on reading the biography of him). Well, that's probably true. "Nice" doesn't get you heard or understood when you're doing something that hasn't been done before. Persistent does. In-your-face does.

Based on my 25 years as an advertising person, I can tell you that it's rare someone appreciates the value of "original" and "unique". Everyone says they want it, but few have the cajones to walk that talk when they're actually presented with it. And when it comes to invention, few have the vision to see how successful something can be when it's something that's never been done before.

So you have to believe in yourself more than you believe in those around you. Maybe your idea sucks and will never work. That's very possible. But you won't really know until you try. I'm not saying to ignore your trusted confidantes. But I'm saying don't kill an idea you know has legs, just because others can't see the value in it. The worst than can happen is that you fail and learn a lot of really important lessons in the process.

5 of WTF

And back to our week's discussion on spirituality, don't deny something you feel in your heart just because those around you disagree. Look. We are all given one lifetime in which to live our truth. And we waste most of that opportunity caring so much about what others think and believe that we never get around to forming our own beliefs and our own thoughts. Half the time we don't even know if what we believe and think is because we believe it and think it or because we were taught to believe it and think it. But we owe it to ourselves to figure all of that out.

You get this one lifetime to make your glingers. Maybe they're a stupid idea. But they're true to you. And the delight of making them is reason enough to share them with the world.