6/14/11—Putting Luck in Its Place

Today's Draw: The Seven of Cups from The Fantastic Menagerie Tarot. How good are you at daydreaming? Do you see it as a valuable thing or an idle waste of time? And if there were no barriers standing in your way, what would you be doing differently today than what you have planned?

Day Two of our Baba Studio week brings the Seven of Cups, a card I usually equate to having a wealth of choices. That's interesting in light of yesterday's draw, which also touched on choice. But The Fantastic Menagerie puts a different slant on that. It talks about imagination and daydreaming. As the author of the companion book, Sophie Nusslé, so eloquently puts it, it's about "...inventing and populating new worlds of your own imagining...to be carried by the thrill of the moment towards living a life richer in texture and color."

There are those in my family who discount my worth based on my mystical leanings...my hippie-like idealism...my daydreamy nature. I have a nephew who denigrated me quite vocally and rudely a while back because he perceives me as having little of value to bring to this world. It struck me that this attitude would have never entered his mind if he grew up in a household where his parents respected me. It saddens me that I have achieved a good amount of success as a self-employed person, won awards for my work and am respected by my peers and still have to face that kind of energy from the people who are supposed to love and support me most. His mother once suggested to me that I didn't earn my success, rather achieved it through a series of lucky breaks. 

On one hand, I have to own some of that. I'm a fairly free spirit. I don't wear my serious face often. I don't talk about how hard I work or any altruistic things I do. I don't walk through life in an exhausted state demonstrating the distress of my mortal coil. I never complained about the years I spent in crappy jobs paying my dues. They've never seen me in a meeting or leading a presentation. They have no idea how much I know about my industry and all the dozens of industries I serve...no concept of the network of contacts I consciously acquired or the choices I made to forgo immediate desires in favor of the long-term plans I had for my career. To them, I'm just a lucky flake who somehow landed a job where you get to sit in playroom and think of silly ideas for ads all day.

The thing is, their attitudes mirror the attitudes of an outside world where is there is little appreciation for anyone who veers away from the analytical, practical mind. After all, if you're going to be a conceptual person, you should be inventing "important" things. Like rockets. Alternative fuels. And life-saving equipment or medicines. Creativity and "fun" is not for work, it's for whatever spare time you care to waste after work is done. And that model would make perfect sense if all we had was a left side of the brain. But we have a right side, too. And we not only have two sides of a brain that need nourishing, we have a heart and a soul, as well. And this is where the eyes of the overly practical people will roll...with me thinking that stuff like hearts and souls matter. But they do.

Fantasy and daydreams and play not only feed the heart and soul, they are the protoplasm that hosts the nucleus of invention. They are not at odds with the rational mind, rather they work in tandem with it to create new forms of reality for the individual and society at large. Before the rational mind can construct something new, it must be first be imagined. And this isn't just true for things, it's true for lives as well. Before you can create a new life and new reality for yourself, you must imagine it first. And if you want it to be a life that fulfills you, you have to see it first in the heart and soul before you can begin to strategize its attainment in the mind. Fabuliciousness is something you create. Not something you stumble upon because you're daft and lucky.

So yesterday I challenged you to change just one thing about your daily routine, as well as think of other things you could change. (Oh, yes I did...go back and read it if you don't believe me!) Before you can exit a rut, you have to remember you have choices, which is easy to forget when it comes to the things you do mindlessly and automatically every day. And today I challenge you to take that concept a little farther and apply wild imagination to the aspects of your everyday life. If there were no barriers to achieving your dreams, what would you do? Who would you be? And how would you live your life?

Without spending time in the Neverlands of your heart, mind and soul, you simply can't try on new ideas and thoughts and dreams to see if they fit. And until you know what fits, you can't effectively apply your will and faith to achieving those dreams. Because the fact is that stumbling upon a ready-made dream that fits you to a tee is for people who believe in waiting around for luck. And imagining a new reality and bringing it to fruition is for people who want to actually want to achieve their dreams in this lifetime.

6/13/11—Choosing Something Different

Today's Draw: Four of Wands from the Tarot of Prague. Do you have a normal "routine" you follow every day? Do you feel stuck in a rut? What's one thing you can do differently today?

This week we're going to have a little fun and feature a different deck each day from Baba Studio. Baba decks are created in Prague, Czech Republic. Their quality and design is highly prized among collectors and their decks sell out quickly. 

As tarot is wont to do, the first card I choose after I make the decision to have a "theme" week for the first time ever is the Four of Wands. Among other things, it talks about breaking out of your routine. It also speaks of celebration. And both of those things are exactly what I've done today—celebrating my favorite deck creators by breaking my deck selection routine (which, by the way is usually a random choice made according to my daily whims.)

We all get caught in ruts. Many times we're not even aware of it. We just feel like we're on automatic or slogging through something and don't realize it's because we repeat the same task day in and day out. In fact, most of our days are routine to one degree or another. We wake, drink coffee, shower, drive to work, work, drive home, make dinner, do family stuff, sleep, get up and do it all again. And this kind of repetition lulls us into hypnotic state of sorts. We're not living consciously. We're just completing the routine.

So today's card comes to tell us it's time to shake things up a little. It doesn't have to be anything major. Just something spontaneous and different. Get your coffee made a different way in the morning. Walk your dog along a new route. Stop by that place you've always wondered about on the way home. Or dance to the music at the grocery store. Just change the energy of your day a little and see if it makes a difference. Better yet, do one thing different every day this week and see if it doesn't change your energy. You never know what will happen if you veer off course. 

So today, I'm changing my usual routine with my daily reading. It's not a terribly big thing, but it woke me up enough to give me a new perspective on this particular routine. I already have a few themes for future weeks swimming in my head. But I'm also going to finalize my proposal for my Top Secret Project today and open the door (hopefully) to a whole new thing in my life. And that is BIG. I almost feel like the last few months of my life have been about shaking things up in my routine. And it feels good. The more I exercise my options, the more I see how many options are available to me and the more of an adventure life becomes. 

Which is why I think it's important to do something different and unexpected now and again. I think routine makes us forget we have options. Somewhere along the line we chose a certain direction and haven't veered from it because it was easy and efficient. Well, today is Veer Day. Whether you do something big or small, approach it consciously. Be present and see if it makes you feel anxious or comfortable or neutral or whatever. 

And, just for funsies, maybe take the opportunity to look at multiple things in your daily routine and ask yourself how you might do them differently. See what your many choices are. Question why you made the choices you made. And know for sure that when you repeat something day after day, you're doing it because it's the option you still consider most viable, and not just because it's the same thing you did yesterday. These are all baby steps. But they lead us toward living more consciously, being in the now and experiencing more of the adventure of our life.

6/11/11-6/12/11—Investigating the New

Weekend Reading: Page of Pumpkins from the Halloween Tarot. Engage that intellectual curiosity of yours this weekend. Put down the books and learn from experience. Maybe try your hand at a new hobby, test out a new recipe, visit a museum or plant some pumpkins. :D The page often comes bearing a message, so also be on the lookout for some good money news.

6/10/11—Going Primeval

Today's Draw: The Ace of Wands from the Rohrig Tarot. Who are you at your most primal? What instincts truly drive you? When was the last time you touched base with your primordial self?

The Ace of Wands is all about creativity and passion. It can signal new opportunities or an infusion of energy in those areas. It's a fire that overtakes you and possesses you. No use in fighting it. Just go along for the ride. 

The lwb (little white book) for this deck calls the Ace of Wands the primal origin. That place from which all was created. The first seed of existence. As I write this tonight, the stage is perfectly set. Flashes of lightning and the roll of thunder fill the air. With eyes closed, it could be any point in earth's origin. With the exception of the breathable air, it could predate life itself. 

Consider our own primal origins. Before civilization. Before agriculture. Before language. When basic survival and procreation drove every thought and action. When you strip away the crap of the ego—the material wants that somehow tell us who we are—those same two primal instincts still drive our lives. We are as we were 100,000 years ago. We are as all life is—driven to survive and generate the species. Consider this. And consider how much of your daily life is determined by these two needs. 

Trust me, the last thing I want to do is bring a life into this world. But the procreative instinct keeps me looking for a mate—one with whom I could theoretically produce an ideal, healthy offspring. It draws me to certain types of men, arousing me in ways that don't always make sense in the context to what I'm consciously attracted to. And the survival instinct motivates me to get up every day and participate in life. It drives my career in ways that can put food on the table and shelter over my head. It triggers competitive and protective instincts. Even the  material crap I amass is part of the survival instinct because, on some level, it's a sort of posturing for one's place in the pack.

As humans, we're prone to argue our superiority as a species. We have critical thought. Language skills. And the blessed opposable thumb. But at our core, at our most primal selves, we are as all living things. Whatever evolutionary advantages we have, we misuse as often as we use to our benefit. And when it comes to a "code" of primal instinct, we are the only species I can think of offhand that takes the survival instinct beyond the bounds of basic survival...and one of the few that takes the generative instinct beyond the bounds of mere procreation of the species.

I'm not really sure that I'm making a point with all of this. Perhaps more of an observation. We become so caught up in the trappings and privileges of being human that we rarely, if ever, strip away all the hoo ha to consider our animal natures, the instincts that drive us and what is truly at the core of our beings...our primal selves. If you're old enough to remember, remember pet rocks? You could give it a nice home, visit it twice a day, call it Fred, read it a story and tuck it in at night, but at its core it's still just a rock. The same is true for us, too. We are an organism, struggling for survival and the continuation of our species, like dandelions, tigers and bears. And I wonder how the world might be different—how differently we might treat each other, other animals and our earth—if we considered this more often.

6/9/11—Letting the Sun Rise on its Own

Today's Draw: The Sun from the Baroque Bohemian Cats. Do you feel like you're swimming upstream right now? Or are you letting the flow take you where you need to go? What is joyfully progressing—or annoyingly stagnant—in your life?

The Sun is one of those cards you're always happy to see in a reading. It signifies joy, happiness and new beginnings. The Sun is life giving and life affirming. No matter what the night might bring, the Sun always rises in the morning, renewing hope and giving you a fresh chance to get things right. 

In a reading, The Sun would indicate that whatever struggles you've been experiencing are through. Suddenly you see clearly. You have the energy and drive you didn't have before. Life is sunshine and roses. You feel so confident you might even make a bold move you wouldn't otherwise make. Take this little kitty, for example. He must be feeling awfully good about himself to stand so confidently atop that carousel horse.

A few months ago, the Sun rose in parts of my own life. Since March, I've taken a lot of risks that I've avoided for a long time, both in my professional life and my personal life. I can't for the life of me figure out why all these moves were so easy for me to make now when they eluded me for so long. I'm someone who fights change tooth and nail, but right now I just seem to be flowing with it. 

This begs the question, though, is all our striving inefficiently used energy? Sure, we can force ourselves to change and grow. Or we can wait for the moment  the energies are more supportive and our lives change and grow for us.

When I look back, it seems all the guilt and kvetching over being stagnant was wasted energy. Because now everything is flowing naturally. Which makes me think of other areas of my life where there is no movement at this time. If I just wait it out, will those changes become effortless, too? If I wait for my confidence in those areas to grow, will the energy come to meet me? I think so. Right now I cling to certain circumstances because they feel safe. And in the areas that are going so well right now, I feel bold enough to leave my previous safety behind.

If we believe that everything happens at the right time—and I do believe that—how come we spend so much effort trying to make NOW the right time? I'm all for taking the path of least resistance. I'm all for surrendering to the universe and trusting in its wisdom. But sometimes I need a reminder. 

The Sun comes as that reminder. Every dark night gives way to a fresh day. And fighting against that dark and trying to force the Sun to rise before its time is fruitless. The new day always comes and shines its light on the proper path to get us to where we need to be. We just need to wait. And trust that moment will come.

6/8/11—Keeping Your Creative Energy Flowing

Today's Draw: The Five of Wands from the Artists Inner Vision Tarot. Do you work in a field where everyone has an opinion of your work? Do you feel stripped of your creative energy? Are you tired of dingoes eating your creative babies?

The Five of Wands is about conflict and disagreement, but nothing too serious (though it may seem that way at the time). These are the kind of conflicts we face regularly. Usually considered conflict over creative ideas, these types of debates can often lead to great collaborations and great solutions. 

The dude in this card is pained by these disagreements, though. They deplete his energy, dry up the earth before him, which can be symbolic of the fertile ground where ideas grow. He's so distracted by the problems that he is stifling his own creativity. And the opposing views hang over his head, making him question his own "true north". He wants to make a move, he wants to go somewhere, but he remains fixed, stuck in his head. 

As an advertising copywriter, a conflict-free creative life is unthinkable. Everyone has an opinion. Everyone has a dog in the fight. And, as the bottom dweller on the totem pole, I'm usually the one that has to suck it up while others get their own way...haha. Actually, it's more of a "choose your battles" sort of thing. When I choose my battles, I usually win because they know when I push back, I mean it. 

But it's not always about winning or losing the fight, nor is it even healthy to think of it that way. I can't remember the first time it happened, but once a long time ago someone sent my work back to me with all sorts of edits and comments. And, as usual at the time, I decided they were idiots, questioned why I'd chosen this career and started to make the fixes grudgingly. But something happened on this particular occasion. Somewhere in the comments, they challenged me to rethink my direction in the copy. And I did. And it ended up being better. Much better. 

So, from that experience, I adopted a new attitude. Maybe when someone was "ruining" my work, it was actually an opportunity to make it better. If I put ego out of the way, that is. And I shifted from someone who was in it for my own glory to someone who was in it for the collaboration...the work. And guess what happened next? The collaboration started fueling my glory. 

As I was writing this very entry, a client called and said we needed to re-think the direction of something. And, while my instincts still want to revolt and fight the process and prove my original thinking was right, my mind is at ease. Maybe they're right. Maybe things aren't gelling as well as they could. So lets work together as a team to make it work for everyone. I'm no longer married to my words as I once was. And, as a self-employed person, I also don't have to work for anyone who is. Every once in a while you come across a client who insists on saying what they want to say, instead of what the audience wants to hear. That's the one place I draw the line in this whole "collaboration" thing. That's just bad marketing and I won't do it. But beyond that and anything that is misleading,  dishonest or exploitative (which has only happened once in 25 years), all edits, comments and collaborations are fair game.

Whether it's a critique, a rejected project or just "creative differences", if you're going to work in any sort of creative career, you have to learn to roll with the punches. Yes, it's a disappointment and may even hurt your feelings. After all, you've poured a lot of yourself into the project and wouldn't have submitted it if you didn't feel it was right. But when you get all caught up in the injustice of it all, you restrict the flow of creativity. And when you start to work in order to please others, you also close off the flow of creativity. The only way to do it is to do what you think is right and risk someone disagreeing with you or rejecting your work. But if they do, keep your mind open, because they may be angels in disguise, sent to make your work even better the second time around.

Like everything in life, your creative freedom and fulfillment hinges not on what other think, but the attitude *you* bring to the table. Get too married to your words or your brush strokes and you won't have a happy marriage. Know what matters and what doesn't. Know what's worth fighting for. And see your critics as the bearers of the opportunity to do better next time around. After all, maybe they have a point. Anytime you enter a creative career, you will have a long list of people you have to please before pleasing yourself. The trick is to not only learn how to maintain your creative integrity, but to also please yourself by pleasing others. The good news is that you're a creative person. So you'll find a way.

6/7/11—Removing Your Armor

Today's Draw: Knight of Cups from the Victorian Romantic. What kind of armor do you wear as you walk through this world? What might you miss out on because of this? And what are you afraid might happen if you were fully exposed to those around around you?

The Knight of Cups is the ultimate romantic. A dreamy sort of fellow who often lives in a world of his own. This particular knight represents Parsifal, one of the Grail Knights of Arthurian Legend. All these nekkid sirens surround him, trying to distract him from his quest. But he sees nothing but the vision of the grail.

One thing I've always found interesting about this depiction is how shiny his armor is. It reflects everything around him, yet doesn't give us a clue as to what's underneath it all. We've all known people like him, right? Always doing and saying what they're supposed to. Always reflecting back to the world what the world wants to see..or what they want the world to see. But inside, it seems, nobody's home. Or, if someone is home, they've been playing a role for so long they don't even know where the facade ends and the real person inside begins anymore. 

I remember many years ago having different personas with different friends. Or at least I thought I did. I think a lot of this came from me reflecting the energy of the person I was with, so with some people I might be wackier than with others, for example. In that way, I was wearing the shiny armor. And I remember having anxiety sometimes about seeing someone I hadn't seen for a while. Who was I around them? Would I remember how to be around them? Worse was when worlds collided and two friends I felt different around would be in the same room. I think in reality, my behavior was indiscernible to others. I felt like different people around them, but really that wasn't the case.

I don't know when I changed from trying to be who other people wanted me to be to just being myself. But I'm pretty sure I don't act in a certain way to make anyone else happy anymore. Truth is I'm loud and blunt and funny and compassionate....good things and bad. And I don't have the energy or inclination to hide any of it anymore. Which doesn't mean I have no secrets. There are a couple of things—good and bad—not even the closest of you know about me. And I'm OK with that. But it's still a piece of glossy armor, isn't it? A part of myself that I allow to reflect back to the world however they want to see it. 

There's a part of me that says there's nothing wrong with having something private and to ourselves. And there's a part of me that says that even though there may not be one person who knows everything, everything about us should be known somewhere along the line because that keeps darkness and shame and guilt away. If we're really true about standing in our own skin, we shouldn't have secrets. Should we?

This is one of those things I haven't figured out for myself. One thing I know is that sharing yourself with others can be very healing for you and for them. I mean, there's so much we don't talk about in "polite society" that we can often feel like we're alone when we have something we may not be proud of. And knowing that others think the same way or do the same things can help a lot. 

Also, look at the knight again. That armor he wears is quite constricting. It puts a cold, hard layer between him and the rest of the world. He's so caught up in his world that he doesn't even see all the nekkid babes around him. Even though this knight is on a quest for the grail, it's also symbolic of the grail within...the ability to stand strong and protected within our own skin. 

What are your thoughts on this? And how much of your body is still covered in reflective armor?