Tuesday, April 12, 2011

4/12/11—Fighting Ourselves

Today's Draw: Ten of Swords from the Norse Tarot. Are you riled up, ready to fight? Are you justified in your anger? Or is it even anger at all? And is it a battle worth fighting?

Traditionally, the Ten of Swords is a card of utter defeat. But not in the Norse Tarot. It's just not the Viking way. Our hero is well armed to do battle. And you get the sense that, even if he's up against alarming odds, he could possibly win. But is it a battle worth fighting?

Almost all of my anger is actually hurt. It happens when someone has rubbed up against one of my fears…fear of abandonment, fear of not being accepted. It's one thing to fight from a secure position. Fighting from a place of security is more often debate and doesn't require an arsenal.

But fighting from a position of insecurity…well, who or what are you really fighting? And what spoils rain down on you if you win? I'd venture to say most of our battles are with ourselves. We lash out at a supermarket checker who has to look up the code for broccoli because we're annoyed at the way we've planned our day. We yell at our partner for coming home late because we feel abandoned and need more attention. In essence, we're trying to heal a broken leg by walking on it. And, often, the fight just puts more distance between us and what we're trying to achieve and receive.

I've been feeling a little riled myself lately. But it's totally coming from my own hurts, ego and insecurities. The object of my ire was free to make the choice that "angered" me in the first place. And now they are acting like a victim, which makes me even more "angry". But my desire to lash out is coming from my own victim mentality. Nobody likes to admit to that, but it's often the truth. The thing that pisses us off most about others is often, in some way, true about ourselves. So because I know that all I'm feeling is REALLY an issue with myself, I'm not lashing out. And won't. When I talk to this person next, it will come from a place of love and/or neutrality.

And that's the kicker, isn't it? How often do we approach ourselves with the same love and understanding we give to others? Until we really understand what is beneath our compulsion to fight with another, we're just spinning in space, having fight after fight until we finally "get it". So ask yourself what you're really fighting. And if that means you lay down your swords and open up your tears, do it. Then show yourself some of the love and compassion you show others. The best way to defeat the negative forces in your life is to heal yourself.


  1. The Norse Tarot was my closest confidant for many years; giving me sage advice on many relationships. While I agree most of the time aggression is not the answer, sometimes you need to let others know you can fight if you need to. The phrase "fake it till you make it" came to mine when I saw this card again.

  2. I remember you telling me that about the Norse. On my facebook post of this entry, one of my readers sometimes draws a tool out of his toolbox and divines it. This day it was the ball peen hammer and he said to use it with force. So that was his response, which aligns with your comment about sometimes needing to use aggression. It's the counterbalance to this post. If you acquiesce all the time, you're likely to end up without boundaries. So I agree with what you say. That's why I like these posts, because they really get you thinking about things. :)