Friday, July 15, 2011

7/15/11—Compromising our Happiness

Today's Draw: Compromise (6 of Rainbows) from the Osho Zen. Are you friendly to compromise when it comes to the things you want? Do you think men and women think differently when it comes to compromise?

This is a very interesting card to choose for the final day this week, because I think it fits in perfectly with what we've been talking about all week. The card is called Compromise, but it's lesson is that we shouldn't compromise our own truth.

I read a book once about the difference between men and women in the corporate world. It talked about how little girl's play centers around cooperation, compromise and games where everyone can win. And little boy's play focuses on competition and winning. The book was all about how men have the edge because they already know how to play the game and, while women play nice and cooperate, that's not necessarily how you get ahead in a male-dominated corporate world. 

This same premise also applies to the game of life, but in a different way. Men, to a certain degree, but women especially, are in the habit of asking for less than they want because of this whole compromise thing. We think we're being nice. Or reasonable. Or even realistic about what we can expect. In this way, we dream too small. We expect the universe to read our minds and know to give us y when we're asking for x. Or, and I think this is equally true of men and women, in some way or another, we don't feel we rate getting any sort of super-sized dream. Or we're afraid of what we might have to "give up" in order to get what we want. Or we do what we think will make others happy. And through insecurity or compromise or whatever, we end up drawing the wrong dream to us. Then end up unhappy with what we've got. 

Our dreams are just one area in which we might compromise our inner truth. Any time we make a decision or choice that is not in line with our truth—and any time we only go halfway—we lose. We tell ourselves that "less than" is enough. This is what the Compromise card comes to tell us.

Looking at all the cards this week, it reads like a primer for making big changes in your life. Trust that the universe has your back. Be honest with yourself and others. Take the time and care it requires to build something of value on a firm foundation. Realize you are no longer the same person you were when you first tried to change or began contemplating change. Each day you're more prepared. And, finally, don't compromise.


  1. I'm not sure that men with big dreams are all that happy, though. Or they compromise in other ways to achieve big (for example, Rupert Murdoch). I have a friend who makes fabulous knitted items -- and people are always telling her to start a business, sell them, market them to celebrities, etc. And she could dream that big. But for her, that would take the joy out of it. The dream would be bigger, but the happiness would be smaller.

  2. Oh, good point, Sarah. And I wasn't meaning "big" as in Oprah big. I just meant wishing for the whole tamale that you want. YOUR big.

    See you tonight!