Thursday, May 24, 2012

5/25/12—Moving Toward That Which Makes You Feel Larger

Today's Draw: Higher Choices from Mystic Art Medicine by Cher Lyn. Are you making choices that keep you feeling small? Do you know why you make these choices? Are you ready to move toward that which makes you feel larger?

Recently a friend reminded me of something from a David Whyte CD she'd loaned me years ago. David Whyte is a poet and he did this wonderful CD of his poems and stories of his life. It was all very wise and wonderful. Although the following wasn't from one of his poems, it was from the CD and it's something I need to be reminded of frequently. It was simply this—"Move toward that which makes you larger."

So often we get mired down in muck and the relationships and circumstances that come across our paths that make us feel smaller. I know I do that. It's like I become transfixed...hypnotized by the things that hold me back, pull me into lower energies, make me feel like what I have to offer has little though I don't matter and the happiness and satisfaction of everyone else does. 

I had dinner with a friend last night who got the crap end of the stick from some of her kids this past Mother's Day. She's a good friend and I'm well aware of how much she sacrifices for her family. She gives of herself until there's nothing left to give. And Mother's Day was their one opportunity to put their needs aside and be there for her. And they dropped the ball...without apology. I'm angry inside for her. I also know how it feels. I imagine many reading this do.

Funny thing is that there is a marked difference between my career and personal life. I have my career set up to partner with people and organizations that value what I bring to the table and have no problem expressing that. Honestly, it's enough that my clients pay me on time. It's a business, after all. But my clients never fail to thank me for my work and tell me they're happy with it and let me know how much they appreciate me. I think...hope...I let them know the same in return.

We always have a choice of paths we take in our life. We can travel into the dark toward what makes us feel smaller. Or we can ascend to the light, that which makes us feel larger. Over the past few months, I've found some clarity concerning this. I've discovered people and opportunities in my life that want to support me and feed me. They've always been there, but for some reason I wasn't turned toward them. 

And I've seen the energies I've been turned toward clearer than ever. I see my responsibility in establishing inequitable relationships. It comes from a place of insecurity within me and I feel like I need to give more than I receive which, of course, breeds relationships with those who are much better at receiving than giving. Then, inevitably, I end up disappointed when I need to receive and no one is there to give. I've lived this pattern over and over again and I'm tired of it. Literally. 

And I've finally realized I don't have to do it anymore! There are higher choices all around me. All I have to is value myself enough to walk toward them—and turn away from that which does not value me once and for all.

Is there a situation or relationship that keeps you small or makes you smaller? And can you see the path toward that which makes you feel larger?

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