Thursday, August 30, 2012

8/31/12—Getting What You Want

Today's Draw: Eight of Flames from the Wormweird Tarot. Do ever you find yourself steering things to suit your purposes? Are you not beyond using emotion to get what you want? Do you hate it when others try to control you?

For the final day of Shadow Side Week, we have a voodoo doll impaled and bleeding in some sort of pagan-type ritual. My first thoughts with this card were "be careful what you wish for" or "use your powers for good." The book says this card is about using power and fear to get what you want. So manipulation comes to mind. 

Have you ever been asking a person a favor, having an argument with someone or engaging in some interaction where you become conscious that you're not being genuine? Or have you ever used drama for effect? Or even so much as feigned a laugh to get what you want? That's what this card is coming to us to point out today. 

It's interesting because the traditional meaning of this card would be more along the lines of "fast action"...but fast in a rapid sense, than in a "shameless" sense. The tie between the traditional meaning and the Wormweird's could be just that...using fast in the way you would talk about a fast woman. Or it could be thinking too quickly for your own good. 

A number of years back I decided to work on this side of me. A lot of the times when we do this stuff, we do it unconsciously. Maybe we realize afterward. But there are times we see ourselves doing it when we're doing it. I don't think there's a person alive who doesn't use our wiles from time to time. Some of call it "charm" or "magic" or "convincing" to make ourselves feel better about it. But what it really is is manipulation, control and disingenuousness. 

There's nothing wrong with informing another person about the benefits of something. But I'm more the kind that will tell you the pros and cons, risks and rewards before I ask for something. I manage expectations...haha. And what's really interesting about that is that I make a living off only showing only the positive benefits of something in order to get someone to buy. But I'm not so much that way in my private life. In fact, I frequently undersell myself to avoid overselling. That, in and of itself, is a shadow issue. 

Regardless, I still see myself being nicer to someone for one reason or another from time to time...or crying an extra tear for effect...or using anger or indignation in unfair ways.  Like I said, I've greatly improved on this. Truth is, I had a VERY dramatic mother and come from a family of drama queens. There are many flavors of drama...over the top, understated, quiet judgment, syrupy sweet, silent treatment, childlike tantrum, superiority, purposely not playing the game to show you don't play the game...haha. I'm sure there are more. All drama is done for affect the other person or people involved. So, anyway, the whole drama thing is very ingrained in me. 

So today's card alerts us to the shadow of being less than impeccable with our words and actions in order to control others. In fact, being impeccable with your words is one of the Four Agreements Don Miguel Ruiz wrote about. It's not just the words, but the intentions that lie beneath them. Everything we do comes with a consequence, whether we're aware of doing it or not. If you want people to be genuine with you, if you want to avoid being roped into things you don't want to do and if you want others to back off on being so controlling, it begins with cleaning up your own actions. 

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