Wednesday, August 29, 2012

8/30/12—Keeping a Safe Distance Away from Negativity

Today's Draw: Six of Swords from the Phantasmagoric Theater Tarot. Are you coming to realize you're a negative person? Or do you wonder why you seem to attract negative people? What payoff do you need to stop seeing to have a more balanced experience in this regard?

I admit that, in search of dark decks in my collection, I consulted a DarkDeckologist named J.r. He is known to covet dark decks like no other. And while it turns out that I have plenty of widely acknowledged, J.r.-endorsed "dark decks" to get us through Shadow Week and beyond, it occurred to me that I also had a couple less obvious choices that *I* consider dark, but that, say, Nosferatu would turn his nose at. Today's deck is one of them. 

Sure, the characters are cute. But here's what the lwb says: "The Lunatic of Negativity dances on top of his turret, he is in need of help. A neighbor is leaving this place of great danger, taking herself to more harmonious surroundings to find a solution to the problem." 

This card cracks me up. First, we all know a few Lunatics of Negativity. Second, look at all the cuts on the Lunatic (hard to see on this crappy pic) from wielding their words and thoughts (aka swords) too wildly. Third, the smile the Lunatic is wearing. And fourth, the way the neighbor is standing in the doorway with, to my eye, an expression of "how did I get roped in again, can I ignore this, and how can I keep it from happening again?"

So this card goes right to the essence of the shadow issues. One is a commentary on negative people. If you have a tendency to be negative, this card is saying that you're damaging yourself by doing it. That your words cut...not just you, but others. And that you are getting some sort of payoff from it that you need to explore. The Lunatic (haha...sorry) is smiling. There is a payoff or you wouldn't be doing it. Are you afraid of disappointment, so you always look to the losing side and that way you'll never be disappointed? Also notice the way negativity makes others need to be away from you. It drains not just your energy, but the energy of others. 

Many of us are negative from time to time. So even if you don't think you're "a negative person", consider the times you are negative and how you express yourself at those times. It's ok to express your feelings. The key is not to wallow in them. 

I would guess most of us have been the recipient of the negativity before. Like the poor little neighbor here. You really feel torn between helping and just walking away. Negative people are a terrible energy drain. When someone approaches me with negativity, I usually make a cursory comment like "I'm sure you'll figure it out" then move along. If it were someone I knew and it was a *moment* of negativity, I'd help them through it. But some people just want to suck you of your life force and nothing you can do or say will buck them up. Or they constantly need advice they will never follow. Or they're regularly in a bad place and, shelter, money. 

Or maybe they're not even negative or in need of advice or help...maybe they just like to absorb energy. I've had people like that in my life. They come around because you're a happy or positive person. They don't talk much. They're there just to....receive. You'll notice they never put any effort into anything, never return any kindnesses offered. They're not negative or anything. They're friendly. But they suck away your energy nonetheless. It's a really subtle thing to recognize. 

This exchange of energy is the smile on the Lunatic's face, you see. They like the energy exchange...they like getting your attention. And negativity, advice and receiving without giving is how they get it. But the catch is, it's not their fault. It's yours for repeatedly giving it to them out of a place of guilt or whatever. You need to explore why you continue to let it happen. What payoff do you get, because you do get one. 

When it comes down to it, you're not responsible for anyone's feelings or experiences other than your own. And nobody is responsible for your feelings and experiences. We can help each other through and should do so as humans...within reason. But no matter how badly you feel for someone, it's not your job to take their pain away. Again, I'm talking about habitual abusers here, not your best friend who's going through a tough time. The habitual ones are looking for someone to latch on to. And when you dump them, they'll find someone else. They always do. It doesn't have to be you. 

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