4/1/13—Laying Down Your Swords

Today's Draw: Six of Swords from the Steele Wizard Tarot in the What to Use in the Future as You Move Toward Your Goal position from the Deck of 1000 Spreads. Is there some attitude or recurrent thought that you find constantly gets in the way of your goals? Are you responding to something, rather than acting from a place of genuine power? Are you ready to lay all that down and find your true source of balance and power?

In the Six of Swords, we see a woman leaving conflict and issues (swords) behind and moving on to a better place. Dolphins guide her journey, signaling more peaceful times ahead. She's not abandoning her previous situation. She's merely moving on...without looking back. 

While I believe in assessing situations to take your lessons, lessons often reveal themselves better from a distance. And the easiest way to reach our goals is to lay down our swords and move forward. In fact, it's the only way. 

This isn't just about interpersonal conflict. It's about any issue. Let's say you got fired from your job. Your goal is to get another, much better job. But that will be harder if you're suing your old place of work. It will be harder if you bring resentment and a "I'm out for myself" attitude to the next job. And, if you're paranoid that the same thing will happen to you again, it probably will. 

All of those things are reactions. They're actions and attitudes you take in response to another's actions. And as long as you're reacting to what has happened before, you're not acting on your goal. 

I've been putting a lot of thought into action vs. reaction lately. I think one of the harder—and most essential—parts of our spiritual growth is to act genuinely. By that, I mean to act the same regardless of external stimuli. If you're non-violent, be non-violent even if someone pushes you. If you're into oneness, then see yourself in your enemy, not just in your friend. In other words, act unconditionally. 

Now, there are some non-violent people who will die from being unconditionally non-violent. So the practice may be sometimes more of an ideal. But this kind of unconditional action is the only true source of power. Because each time we act in response to something, we give up our power to whatever it is that's pulling our marionette's strings. 

Usually we do this by getting caught in the drama (or the excuse) of something that happened to us...or something we did to ourselves. I had a boyfriend once that was a professional athlete at one time in his life. And he blew it. He could have worked harder, but he didn't. He drank and messed around with girls and then spent the next 20 years or more drowning his regrets in alcohol. He acted in response to a bad mistake on his part and lost all his power. In doing so, he wasted much of his life with regrets and getting revenge on himself. 

His way out might have been to unconditionally pick himself up after he falls...or unconditionally forgive himself for being human...or to move forward and unconditionally focus on his goals despite distraction. See, where I'm going? It's a way of becoming "bullet proof" that doesn't come out of defiance or trying to prove yourself to someone. It's just an agreement you make to yourself to not give your power over to something you cannot change. 

If I look back on my own life, I can see times where I've held onto something for way too long...a relationship that ended poorly and a conflict that was very hurtful to me, for example. When I realized I had a hard time letting go, I worked on letting go, not to spite the other party, but to become more unconditionally centered in my own power and balance...to take things less personally and focus on what *I* think of me, more so what others think of me. Which isn't to say I don't still struggle. But I lose much less power, balance and time on it than I used to. 

But I also noticed something else. When I moved away from losing my power to others, I found myself losing power to myself. Like the boyfriend, I found myself responding to my own "dropping of the ball" in a particular situation and fixated on that, instead of starting over fresh and just moving forward. So we do it to ourselves in many ways. And it can be something as old as childhood bullying getting in the way of adult friendships, you know? We let a bunch of noise come in to distract us from our goals, whether it's self-pitying, defiant, righteous, proud, fearful, angry, regretful or whatever. It's all reacting. And it takes us away from acting from a place of power in the pursuit of our goals. 

So think about the goals you've set for yourself in life, whether they be spiritual, career oriented, relationship centered, personal or whatever. What noise is in your head that may be slowing you down? What are you spending your energy responding to? Becoming conscious of these things is the first step toward taking your power back and developing an unconditional way of being that enables you to focus on your goals...regardless of what happens. Make decisions for yourself long before the stimulus comes along for you to react to. It's time to lay down the swords of reaction and sail on to a new phase of life where you're acting from a place of internal integrity and are far less subject to the whims of outside forces. 

8/30/12—Keeping a Safe Distance Away from Negativity

Today's Draw: Six of Swords from the Phantasmagoric Theater Tarot. Are you coming to realize you're a negative person? Or do you wonder why you seem to attract negative people? What payoff do you need to stop seeing to have a more balanced experience in this regard?

I admit that, in search of dark decks in my collection, I consulted a DarkDeckologist named J.r. He is known to covet dark decks like no other. And while it turns out that I have plenty of widely acknowledged, J.r.-endorsed "dark decks" to get us through Shadow Week and beyond, it occurred to me that I also had a couple less obvious choices that *I* consider dark, but that, say, Nosferatu would turn his nose at. Today's deck is one of them. 

Sure, the characters are cute. But here's what the lwb says: "The Lunatic of Negativity dances on top of his turret, he is in need of help. A neighbor is leaving this place of great danger, taking herself to more harmonious surroundings to find a solution to the problem." 

This card cracks me up. First, we all know a few Lunatics of Negativity. Second, look at all the cuts on the Lunatic (hard to see on this crappy pic) from wielding their words and thoughts (aka swords) too wildly. Third, the smile the Lunatic is wearing. And fourth, the way the neighbor is standing in the doorway with, to my eye, an expression of "how did I get roped in again, can I ignore this, and how can I keep it from happening again?"

So this card goes right to the essence of the shadow issues. One is a commentary on negative people. If you have a tendency to be negative, this card is saying that you're damaging yourself by doing it. That your words cut...not just you, but others. And that you are getting some sort of payoff from it that you need to explore. The Lunatic (haha...sorry) is smiling. There is a payoff or you wouldn't be doing it. Are you afraid of disappointment, so you always look to the losing side and that way you'll never be disappointed? Also notice the way negativity makes others need to be away from you. It drains not just your energy, but the energy of others. 

Many of us are negative from time to time. So even if you don't think you're "a negative person", consider the times you are negative and how you express yourself at those times. It's ok to express your feelings. The key is not to wallow in them. 

I would guess most of us have been the recipient of the negativity before. Like the poor little neighbor here. You really feel torn between helping and just walking away. Negative people are a terrible energy drain. When someone approaches me with negativity, I usually make a cursory comment like "I'm sure you'll figure it out" then move along. If it were someone I knew and it was a *moment* of negativity, I'd help them through it. But some people just want to suck you of your life force and nothing you can do or say will buck them up. Or they constantly need advice they will never follow. Or they're regularly in a bad place and help...food, shelter, money. 

Or maybe they're not even negative or in need of advice or help...maybe they just like to absorb energy. I've had people like that in my life. They come around because you're a happy or positive person. They don't talk much. They're there just to....receive. You'll notice they never put any effort into anything, never return any kindnesses offered. They're not negative or anything. They're friendly. But they suck away your energy nonetheless. It's a really subtle thing to recognize. 

This exchange of energy is the smile on the Lunatic's face, you see. They like the energy exchange...they like getting your attention. And negativity, advice and receiving without giving is how they get it. But the catch is, it's not their fault. It's yours for repeatedly giving it to them out of a place of guilt or whatever. You need to explore why you continue to let it happen. What payoff do you get, because you do get one. 

When it comes down to it, you're not responsible for anyone's feelings or experiences other than your own. And nobody is responsible for your feelings and experiences. We can help each other through and should do so as humans...within reason. But no matter how badly you feel for someone, it's not your job to take their pain away. Again, I'm talking about habitual abusers here, not your best friend who's going through a tough time. The habitual ones are looking for someone to latch on to. And when you dump them, they'll find someone else. They always do. It doesn't have to be you. 

3/6/12—Letting Your Energy Flow

Today's Draw: The Four of Pentacles from the Steampunk Tarot by Barbara Moore and Aly Fell. What energy have you inadvertently cut the flow of in your life? What parts of yourself do you cling too tightly to, lest anyone ever see them? And how awesome am I that I already have a deck that's not even slated to be released until May?!?!

One of the world's tarot's goddesses is a woman named Barbara Moore. A quick glance at Amazon lists more than a dozen titles—from books to decks—bearing her name. Beyond that, she's the tarot acquisitions editor for Llewellyn, so whatever she doesn't create herself, she's instrumental in bringing to the world. And then there's at least one deck I know of she authored under a pen name. If you're a tarot reader and don't know who she is, check your bookshelves. 

So how AWESOME must I be to have, in my greedy little hands, her most recent and hotly anticipated deck and book—The Steampunk Tarot?!! This one is all Barbara. She directed the art and wrote book. If I'm not the only person outside her who has the complete kit, I'm one of the very few. I'm not even a reviewer! And she signed my book, too! Gah! No, wait....double gah!

Four of Swords, with a macabre twist.

*catching my breath, letting heartbeat return to normal* 

I would be remiss with all this fawning over the great Ms. Moore if I didn't mention that Babs is also a friend of mine and this was a very sweet and generous offering for my birthday week (the big day is Saturday). For a tarot person, it's like being friends with Oprah. :D

Anyway....

The Four of Pentacles is a card about holding on too tight to resources. The card shows a mechanical contraption that grabs and locks away every coin. A penny saved is a penny earned. Or is it? In the book, Barbara points out that too strict a diet with your resources stops the flow of energy. If that buck stops here and stays here, then how does the flow continue in the universe? Holding on too tightly can cause stagnation. And stagnation leads to rot.

We all want to feel safe and secure. Nobody's suggesting you don't save money. But holding on too tightly does two things: it sets up an energy of not having enough. If you focus on lack, the universe gives more of a feeling of lack. And it also cuts the flow of energy from moving through you to others, then back around to you again. You may accumulate more money. But what is your spirit losing in the process when you're counting every cent?

We've talked about poverty mentality just recently, so I'll move away from the whole money aspect and broaden the conversation to love, creativity, friendship and even God. Anything you hold on to too tightly, cuts off a flow and causes stagnation. We all know when we hold on too tightly to another person, they slip away. We've seen this.

The High Priestess

But the same is true about our ideas and ideals. Locking things inside of the curio cabinets within doesn't make them safer or stronger. They're more vulnerable because there's so much import placed around them...and so much energy of worry and fear of loss. While their hold over you strengthens, they weaken you if they never have the chance to come out and play and be tested in the real world. Even our beliefs need to come out for fresh air now and again to see if they're still viable. 

The parts of ourselves that we lock away from others—whether out of greed, spite or shame—are lost potential. They're areas ripe for growth and healing. And they don't just help us grow and heal when we trot them out, they help others, too. Plus they have the added benefit of facilitating intimacy and depth in relationships. 

Six of Swords

What happens when we routinely lock these things inside is that we become an automaton, like the clever bank in the card. Our monsters thrive in the dark, growing larger in our perception and increase their control over our lives, limiting our full expression. We like to stare and point at the Hoarders we see on the TV show. But it's no less soul sucking when we hoard the valuables within. It's just less visible. Those that appear most perfect are often the ones with the most toxic issues—and genuine gifts—locked within.

I think I've shared this analogy before, but I'll share it again. Picture everything outside you and everything within as a wet bar of soap in the shower. What happens when you hold on too tightly? What happens when you don't hold on tight enough? In both cases, the soap will slip from your hands. The key is to find that range of strength where your grasp is firm, yet fluid enough to keep the soap moving and doing its job.

3/2/12-3/4/12—Finding Another Way

Weekend Reading: Six of Swords from the Forest Folklore Tarot. The path to success is not always straight and clear. If you come up against a roadblock, find another way. Sometimes the obstacles in our path are blessings in disguise. They could be keeping us from walking into a situation much harder to get out of than the workaround we're currently faced with. When we view our roadblocks that way instead of as signs that we're doomed to fail, we keep our energy high and positive and tend to see the gift in every situation. If you simply can't go on anymore, then don't. But if you're just frustrated, suck it up and keep moving forward. The only way to truly fail is to give up too early.