4/29/13—Conjuring a Soul Partnership

Today's Draw: High Priestess from the Robin Wood in the Future Relationship position from the Deck of 1000 Spreads. How long has it been since you've asked yourself what you want out of a relationship (even if you're currently in one)? Have you ever convinced yourself someone was "the ONE", only to quickly find out otherwise? If you're currently in a relationship, has it changed to mirror the changes you've made in life—is it still a good fit?

Just last week I was talking about how I'm not hot to get in a relationship, how I think I might have gotten too "set in my ways" and how I'm happy alone and all of that stuff. But that doesn't mean I don't *think* or even daydream about relationship and what kind of guy I'd like to be with...haha. 

First, let me clarify. Relationship can mean any kind of relationship. But I'm talking about a romantic one right now. And what this indicates is a spiritual relationship of some sort. After all, the High Priestess is like the female version of the Hierophant in the tarot. While he speaks of knowing through tradition, she lives in the land of inner knowing. 

I often let the Hierophant indicate spirituality in my readings because, frankly, he pops up more often and my inner voice tells me to speak of him this way. But really SHE is the one who represent spiritual knowing, and he is the one who is all about the religious dogma. 

It's funny, because it has been so long since I asked myself what I wanted in a relationship, that I had forgotten. And when I do kind of fantasize about meeting the right person, I always forget that this is what I want....haha. But I really do want a soul partner or spiritual partner. 

Note that I didn't say "soul mate". I think pretty much everyone of any significance in our life is a soul mate. Personally I think too much energy goes into waiting for "perfect soul mate" to come along...the ONE. I don't think there's just one. I think there are scores of soul mates in our lives that are friends, co-workers, etc. And I think when they arrive in the form of an attractive person, we assume they're there to become our lover. And so we sometimes shoehorn them into that role. And sometimes that is part of the "grand design". And sometimes you're left wondering what the HELL you were thinking!

No, I said "soul partner". That's someone you're in partnership with to help each other heal and advance your soul. It's someone worthy of your trust. Someone responsible. It's not about wanting someone so bad that you start play hooky from work for some afternoon delight, not that that's out of the question. But the relationship is not driven by the physical. 

It's a partnership driven by the advancement of the soul. Which isn't easy. It requires you to be honest with yourself and each other. To tell each other things about themselves that they may not be able to see. To support them in their growth and visa versa. It requires you to put the normal dynamics aside as much as you can and operate on a higher plane...no manipulations, tantrums, passive-aggressive BS. Growth is the first priority of the relationship. The sex and romance stuff, it's still in there, but it's gravy. The greater intimacy is the trust you form between the two of you to not abuse the relationship...to drop the need to control...to stop needing to win or be right. 

Maybe it's just a fantasy...haha. I do know it exists out there. And I'm sure it's not as ideal as it looks from the outside, because nothing is. And these relationships are allowed to end when the mutual growth does, though I imagine in a relationship like that, it rarely happens unless one or both partners can't handle the partnership. I imagine it to be a very difficult thing...one that requires a whole different tool set than the relationships most people have. And like I said above, this can happen with a friend just easily as with a lover—you can totally have a soul partnership with one of your friends. I just wanted to talk about romance....haha. 

I don't know that I've ever met anyone I could do that with...at least not someone of the opposite sex. But ultimately I only ever have to meet one, you know? So I'll have to bring this up to my conscious mind again, because the conscious and unconscious minds determine the things we think, do and say. And the things we think, do and say determine what we create. And though I'm not ready for him now, I may just be by the time I conjure him up! 

2/1/13—Living With Surety

Today's Draw: High Priestess in the Attitudes and Thoughts position from the Crystal Visions Tarot and the Deck of 1000 Spreads. What things do you do with absolute surety? And what everyday things tend to make you hesitate or even freeze up? How sharp is your "knowing" in so far as what you're capable of?

Before we even start in on today's reading, Barbara Moore blogged about my Deck of 1000 Spreads on the Llewellyn site today. If you want to read, visit http://www.llewellyn.com/blog/2013/01/1000-spreads/

OK. Now on to why you're REALLY here. Since the Attitudes and Thoughts position is usually in relation to some stated topic of a reading, today we're going to consider it as a recommend way we approach life in general. And that recommendation comes from the High Priestess, the queen chick of intuition, deeper meaning, magick and unseen energies. The ankh on her staff speaks of eternal life. 

The High Priestess need only think of something and it's there. And as for what is unseen in this world, her eye see beyond the veil. She is, in many ways, pure instinct and trust, wrapped in a blanket of absolute knowing. 

I like that I got this card because it lets me talk about the squirrels that live in my tree. They never cease to amaze me with their athletic feats. Tonight as I was watching this one guy fly surely through the air between tree limbs, only to scurry up to the telephone wire, then along the wires that run throughout my neighborhood—what I call the Squirrel Superhighway—I wondered, "what if we were so sure?" 

These little guys run at breakneck speed along a wire that's akin to a balance beam for us. And they think nothing of it. They think nothing of leaping off the top of a house and into a tree six feet away. They just leap, fully attuned to their physical capabilities, the workings of geometry and the laws of physics. 

Longtime readers will know that I watch these guys from birth through adulthood. Sure, they see other squirrels do it. And some of them are more timid than others. But when the time comes to do it, they just do it. Then they never think of it ever again. In my human mind, I see that they're risking their lives every time they do it. One false step and they fall 20 feet into the waiting mouths of my pooches...if they live to be eaten alive, that is. But none of this ever seems to be on their minds as they scurry along impossibly narrow wires, branches and fence tops. 

So I was watching him and thinking, "what if we lived our lives so surely and confidently?" I'm the fraidy cat that can't manage any sort of incline without inching down it, lest I slip. But I wonder what our antics in our cars must look like to squirrels? The way we weave in and out of traffic with nary an accident? So there are things we do just as daring, but I'm not sure I see the level of trust and "knowing"in us as in other animals. And I wonder, "what if?" Would we all live very short lives, ending in flames of glory? Or would we accomplish far more than we know we're capable of? What do you think?

9/28/12—Communicating With Your Pet

Today's Draw: The Gypsy Oracle from the Sideshow Tarot. Do you have good communication with your pet? Do you "hear" them say things...or "see" their messages? What kinds of things do they tell you?

Yesterday I said it was going to be Marble Week at the Daily Draw. So today's card is about the psychic communication dogs use to communicate with their people.  

In short, dogs put images in your head. Like you're sitting there and you suddenly think of that really cool park down by the river and think "geez, I haven't been there in a while. Perhaps it's time to go. I think I'll take the mutts with me." And you, innocent that you are, think YOU thought of that park, when really your dog implanted that visual in your brain using their special telekinetic mojo. Happens all the time. They let you think it's all your idea. 

It's just like when I saw Marble's picture online a week ago. I had all sorts of images of this pathetic, needy animal that could learn so much from Kizzie and Magick. For all I know, the little vagabond planted those images in my head so I would be the one to foster her. Anyone who knows anything about me knows that I'm a total gravy train for dogs. I mean, really, where do you get it better? I'm home all the time. I've got scheduled kibble and treat times. You get the run of the property. I have a lot of patience. I'm a total pushover. It's a wonder I haven't already bought her an entire wardrobe of winter sweaters yet. 

The more I think of it, maybe Marble is a Gypsy Oracle. I was out talking to the back yard neighbor today...a single lady and mother of two dogs, much like myself. And I told her that Marble keeps jumping up and nipping at my nipple. Really. She's done it, like, four times in the past two days. And it hurts! So my neighbor was telling me how to train the nipping out of her and, just then, her dog jumps up and bites HER in the nipple! The dog had never done it before! And she does it the moment I'm talking about Marble doing it. We concluded that Marble planted the image in the innocent pup's brain!

So today's entry is about her. And about dogs in general. I swear they do the visual implants all the time. And you can do it back to them. You do create a language with your dog over time...one that transcends simple commands. They're extremely intuitive. I think this is how they know you're coming home. You're on your way home and you picture home. They're so attuned to your frequency that they pick the message up and walk over to the window. 

So if you've never tried this intentionally before, just try showing them a visual of what you want and see how it goes. And pay attention the visuals you receive that have to do with dog things. From their perspective they've been trying to communicate with you FOREVER and maybe you've just been too dense to notice. 

4/26/12—Knowing vs. Thinking

Today's Draw: The Priestess from the Gaian Tarot. Do you give more weight to what you "think" or to what you "know"? What is an example of something you've just "known" that turned out to be true? Where do you stand on the topic of "coincidences" like I've written about below.

The High Priestess in the tarot draws a distinction between "thinking" and "knowing". Thinking is about rationally processing the things you see, hear, touch, taste and smell. Knowing doesn't have to be rational at all. It's the inner processing of things see, hear, touch, taste and smell...along with things you don't see, hear, touch, taste and smell. In a way, though, the High Priestess isn't about the five senses at all. It's about the six sense of intuition that we all have...that sense of knowing in the absence of proof. 

Until I drew this card, I hadn't realized that, in the last 24 hours, I had been carrying on conversations with two of my real-life friends and colleagues. Both of them are mediums. And both of them, in one way or another, gave me the same message. 

One received her message from beyond. It wasn't even meant for me. She sent it in a newsletter to all her peeps. A spirit person came to her and said that he worried about the people he left behind because they still grieved him. And not so much because he was gone, but more because of the pain he endured, the length of time he suffered and all they went through when he was alive. He wanted them to know he was free of that now and that he didn't want them to think of him that way. He wanted them to think of him at peace and the way he was before his illness. 

The other sent me the following poem: 

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!
—Mary Frye (1932)

Over the next couple of days, my family is going to say their final goodbyes to my brother and bury his body. But that's all they'll be burying—a vessel that has ceased to serve. Even without any mystical mumbo jumbo, his spirit will never leave the hearts and minds of those who loved him. But WITH the mystical mumbo jumbo, he's still here. I know it.

I'm a late to bed, late to rise person, so I almost never see any time in the 6AMs. But three times in the past week, I have awakened at exactly 6:50 am. Even though each time I felt oddly refreshed upon awakening, I managed to go back to sleep two of those times. But this morning was different. 

I think most people who knew my brother wouldn't blink at the notion that, if he were to return in spirit, he would, at least, be a little mischievous and, more likely, a full-on pain in the arse as he tested the limits of this new-found "power" of his. He was never really a practical joker, so much as he was a joker. And a poker. 

So, anyway, this morning at 6:50 am, my smoke detector buzzed. Then it buzzed again a minute later. Then it buzzed again. Figuring this would continue at intervals throughout the day, I just got up and changed the darned batteries. Then I started my day, got all my deadlines done and had time to take a nap before writing this and going out to do family obligations. 

The rational "thinking" mind says the batteries were dying because I'm a bad homeowner and the batteries died and it was just a coincidence that it happened on this day at 6:50am. Truth is, I was supposed to change them at "spring forward" and didn't. I won't deny that.

The High Priestess tells me that it's no coincidence at all, however. Just as it's no coincidence that there were 6 of us and now there are 5 and I've woken up at 6:50 three times in the past week. I smoked cigarettes for 26 years and even now, nine years quit, I'm still extra careful around candles and incense and whatnot, based on the paranoia I developed from the threat of poorly extinguished butts. My brother was a smoker who died of lung cancer. And it was the smoke detector that went off. 

One of my medium friends said she has many clients who wake up at the same time every night. And spirits have told her that it's them and that the person is awakened by the changing energy in the room. Of course there are more rational explanations for this, I'm sure. But I "know" different. And I'm pretty sure I can hear my brother laughing his ass off about the smoke detector in heaven as we speak.

3/16/12-3/18/12—Letting Intuition Be Your Guide

Weekend Reading: The High Priestess from the Evolution of Becoming, a Photo-Based Tarot Journey by Michelle Kelly. Here, the High Priestess peers behind the veil of what is seen or perceived by humans and peers into the light of truth. Hers is a world of instinct and intuition, not of reason and thought. She doesn't question her ability to interact with spirit, nor does she question her worthiness. She just "knows". This weekend, she wants you to look beyond appearances by looking inside, to your inner knowing. We've all been in situations where everything looked on the up-and-up, but something inside told us to walk away. And we stayed anyway. This weekend, listen to that voice. 

And if you've been resonating with the messages we've been getting all week, let your intuition guide you there, too. We're so used to taking our cues from the people and events in our lives that's it's hard to even pinpoint and isolate the cues that come from within. But start listening anyway, even if you're not sure you're doing it right. Soon your path will be lighting up before you without even trying.

Today's card was chosen by the artist.

 

This beautiful Majors-only deck is still a work in progress and is currently in the funding phase at Kickstarter. You can fund this project, see more of the cards and secure a future copy of the deck here.

Michelle Kelly is a WV-based commercial photographer. You can view her portfolio here.

3/6/12—Letting Your Energy Flow

Today's Draw: The Four of Pentacles from the Steampunk Tarot by Barbara Moore and Aly Fell. What energy have you inadvertently cut the flow of in your life? What parts of yourself do you cling too tightly to, lest anyone ever see them? And how awesome am I that I already have a deck that's not even slated to be released until May?!?!

One of the world's tarot's goddesses is a woman named Barbara Moore. A quick glance at Amazon lists more than a dozen titles—from books to decks—bearing her name. Beyond that, she's the tarot acquisitions editor for Llewellyn, so whatever she doesn't create herself, she's instrumental in bringing to the world. And then there's at least one deck I know of she authored under a pen name. If you're a tarot reader and don't know who she is, check your bookshelves. 

So how AWESOME must I be to have, in my greedy little hands, her most recent and hotly anticipated deck and book—The Steampunk Tarot?!! This one is all Barbara. She directed the art and wrote book. If I'm not the only person outside her who has the complete kit, I'm one of the very few. I'm not even a reviewer! And she signed my book, too! Gah! No, wait....double gah!

Four of Swords, with a macabre twist.

*catching my breath, letting heartbeat return to normal* 

I would be remiss with all this fawning over the great Ms. Moore if I didn't mention that Babs is also a friend of mine and this was a very sweet and generous offering for my birthday week (the big day is Saturday). For a tarot person, it's like being friends with Oprah. :D

Anyway....

The Four of Pentacles is a card about holding on too tight to resources. The card shows a mechanical contraption that grabs and locks away every coin. A penny saved is a penny earned. Or is it? In the book, Barbara points out that too strict a diet with your resources stops the flow of energy. If that buck stops here and stays here, then how does the flow continue in the universe? Holding on too tightly can cause stagnation. And stagnation leads to rot.

We all want to feel safe and secure. Nobody's suggesting you don't save money. But holding on too tightly does two things: it sets up an energy of not having enough. If you focus on lack, the universe gives more of a feeling of lack. And it also cuts the flow of energy from moving through you to others, then back around to you again. You may accumulate more money. But what is your spirit losing in the process when you're counting every cent?

We've talked about poverty mentality just recently, so I'll move away from the whole money aspect and broaden the conversation to love, creativity, friendship and even God. Anything you hold on to too tightly, cuts off a flow and causes stagnation. We all know when we hold on too tightly to another person, they slip away. We've seen this.

The High Priestess

But the same is true about our ideas and ideals. Locking things inside of the curio cabinets within doesn't make them safer or stronger. They're more vulnerable because there's so much import placed around them...and so much energy of worry and fear of loss. While their hold over you strengthens, they weaken you if they never have the chance to come out and play and be tested in the real world. Even our beliefs need to come out for fresh air now and again to see if they're still viable. 

The parts of ourselves that we lock away from others—whether out of greed, spite or shame—are lost potential. They're areas ripe for growth and healing. And they don't just help us grow and heal when we trot them out, they help others, too. Plus they have the added benefit of facilitating intimacy and depth in relationships. 

Six of Swords

What happens when we routinely lock these things inside is that we become an automaton, like the clever bank in the card. Our monsters thrive in the dark, growing larger in our perception and increase their control over our lives, limiting our full expression. We like to stare and point at the Hoarders we see on the TV show. But it's no less soul sucking when we hoard the valuables within. It's just less visible. Those that appear most perfect are often the ones with the most toxic issues—and genuine gifts—locked within.

I think I've shared this analogy before, but I'll share it again. Picture everything outside you and everything within as a wet bar of soap in the shower. What happens when you hold on too tightly? What happens when you don't hold on tight enough? In both cases, the soap will slip from your hands. The key is to find that range of strength where your grasp is firm, yet fluid enough to keep the soap moving and doing its job.