Wednesday, June 26, 2013

6/27/13—Rising Above the Gossip

Today's Draw: Birds and Children from Kendra's Vintage Petite Lenormand. Do you ever gossip? What payoff do get from it? And how much do you actually believe some of the stories you end up  hearing?

Remember yesterday when I spoke of my streak of "good luck"? Well, one of the things that happened is that I won a huge pot of Lenormand prizes in a contest online. Some were things I already owned, so I turned them back into the pot so more people could win. But this Lenormand deck is one of the ones I didn't have and it was the first item of my winnings to arrive.

Hooray for me!!

These two cards, when read together, say "childish gossip" to me. We've all been the subject of gossip and I've never met anyone so far who hasn't spread it. Some people have inventive ways of wording what they do, but when you talk about another person, especially when your "facts" are not confirmed, it's gossip. Even if the "facts" are *likely true*, it's gossip. We're all guilty.

We don't always know when it's happening. But I happen to know of some gossip being spread about me right now that's completely manufactured and paints me to be the opposite of who I work so hard to be. It hurts. Because invariably, some people will believe it and think less of me.

This presents less of a struggle for me than it has in the past. But it still pokes at that place in me that wants to prove myself to be who I claim to be. As I've learned, that just makes you look desperate and pathetic, though. And making a big deal out of it just calls attention to the issue, making people choose sides. And none of that really gets at the heart of the issue, which is "how confident are you a) in yourself as a person and b) in how life works?"

If you're a secure person and have people in your life that believe in you, that's all that really matters. And the way life works, you can either drop to their level or continue flying above. If you drop to their level, you're not secure. If you fly above, you're secure enough to know that people who feel a need to make shit up about you are wallowing in some pretty deep pain of their own. And the more you rise above the childish chatter, the more you'll attract people who also rise above.

Another thing I've learned over the years, primarily from my own bad behavior, is that the things you accuse others of say more about you than the other person. Say you've decided that Suzie has somehow tapped into your emails and is writing to business contacts of yours posing as you without you knowing it to get vengeance for that time you drank her diet soda in the fridge. And that's why your colleagues seem stand-offish lately. So you've decided to tip everyone off to mean, mean Suzie so they won't fall prey to her email hacking ways.

Who is the person with the devious mind in this equation, you or Suzie? That's a pretty unlikely story you've cooked up. And is it possible that your colleagues are stand-offish because you're paranoid and a gossip? Sure, some people might believe the stories about Suzie. She is a little snappish, after all. But sooner or later you'll be seen for who you are.

When we engage in this kind of behavior—and I admit my own guilt in this too—we enter into ugly waters. Sure, there's a payoff or thrill you can get from talking about others and spreading their stuff, true or not. But consider the price you pay by splashing your own soul in the others see you for doing it...and how much you hold back your own growth by doing so. Is the cost really worth it? And might there be a bigger payoff when you decide, once and for all, to just rise above?

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