10/21/13—Creating Consistent Stability

Today's Draw: Anchor/Dog/Stars from the Haunted Lenormand by Robyn Tisch Hollister. When faced with new predicaments, do you find yourself panicking or having obsessive thoughts? Do you sometimes blurt stuff out that is ill-considered, only to regret it later? Do you ever wish you could be like that woman you know that just seems to handle everything perfectly?

This Lenormand line of three can be read as "faithful, consistent stability or groundedness brings inspiration or insight"....or more succinctly, "balance brings insight". 

What this little nugget of wisdom makes me think about is how, when we're anxious or worked up about something, we obsess over it. And that obsession creates a cycle of manic thought, but no solutions...at least not any of the kinds of solutions we're looking for.

For me, it comes from a sense of anxiety or panic over the situation at hand. One of the realities of being human is that we're constantly faced with obstacles, situations and dilemmas that are new to us. Let's face it. While others may *appear* to have impeccable social graces or unflappable responses to life's stuff, all of us are just greeting new predicament after new predicament and flying by the seat of our pants. If there's anything different others are doing that makes seem so perfectly agile, it's either that they're much better actors than you...haha...or that they have a learned confidence that you don't. 

Today's cards are coming to us to remind us that grace, agility and resourcefulness come from a place of balance and groundedness, not panic and anxiety. And, for me at least, the panic and anxiety comes from being afraid of making the wrong response, or not responding perfectly...it comes from a lack of confidence in being able to handle whatever may come my way. 

Think about it, what have you ever NOT been able to handle? If you're still alive and breathing, the answer pretty much has to be "nothing". Now, you may wince at the way you handled something, but the situation is over now and it is what it is. You're moving forward despite it. And that's what life is. The people who seem to be handling everything well, probably have that confidence. Or, like I said, they're just really good at masking the panic of flying by the seat of their pants. 

What seems to come so easily to others is often just that they learned a different way of coping. To my knowledge, smooth moves aren't genetic, but they are learned through practice and demonstration. My mother was one of those people who always knew the thing to do. It didn't really rub off on me...haha. But what did rub off on me is the fact that her confidence and grace was something practiced and learned. When you think of it, it takes a lot of bad decisions in a row to "break" a life...haha. Knowing and believing that you can survive and/or repair any bad decision you make today is valuable insight to have. It keeps anxiety at bay. Things are rarely as pivotal as we give them credit for being. 

I also feel like what's important for me to say is that, despite the way people appear, we're all messed up. We all experience fear. We all make bad choices. We all beat ourselves up over things. Despite how things appear. I know a woman who seems to live an impeccable life...she knows what to say and how to impress herself on others. But it's all a facade. Underneath all of that is an insecurity that she never allows others to see...an insecurity that goes deeper than most people's, despite appearances. In fact, the times people have said to me, "you seem to have everything together" have been the least "together" times in my life. The more perfect we appear, the better we are at masking what's beneath. 

So the next time you're faced with something foreign and have to handle it, don't take it inside your head the way you're used to doing. Instead, take a breath and remind yourself that YOU are the calm in the midst of the storm. And if you're not prepared to give an answer or respond right there, say so. That's a perfectly graceful way to handle a situation. "Wow, this has taken me by surprise. Let me absorb this and respond when I have something to add to the conversation." That's reasonable, right? Just because you're being confronted NOW doesn't mean you have to respond now. In situations where you have to respond NOW, like emergencies, you act automatically anyway. 

Find your balance. And let that calm place be a void into which divine guidance flows and allow what happens to happen. AND, realize it's probably not as important as it seems in the moment. Your responses may not end up being any more spectacular than the ones that come from panic, but they will issue forth with a such authority that it really won't matter. :)