6/27/12—Viewing Life from the Perspective of the Soul

Today's Draw: Ten of Swords—Ruin—from the Rohrig Tarot, Part 1. Do setbacks have a tendency to really set you back? On the flip side, do you bounce back from things so quickly that you don't even take the time to honor their passing? Have you ever spent way too long mourning the loss of something in your life?

Day three of our weeklong reading on how to find more peace is the card "Ruin", a card of negative and unproductive thinking. So don't do that! OK? :) Actually, this card holds so much input into the matter of creating peace in our worlds that I'm going to address it in two parts, with the second part happening tomorrow.

Listen, not one of us is going scrape through life without something bad happening. We may be the victim of violence. Someone we love will die. Our marriage might end. Whatever it is, suddenly the life we knew is no longer. And we have no control over this. It's over.

Regardless, we will lose our sense of peace and balance over this. We need to feel. We need to mourn the old. But the key here is how long. And how we see the event in the overall context of our lives.

Some people will live for years telling themselves "my life is over" or "everything I cared about is gone". Some people will slip into depression or turn to drugs, numbing themselves to the pain. And some people will feel what they feel, take their lessons, then bounce back. This last quality has been cited on lists of things in common with both successful people and unusually old people. Your ability to bounce back contributes to both your success and longevity.

The faster you bounce back, the more peace you'll have, too. Buddhists teach that much of our suffering comes from attachment to things...non-acceptance of reality...wishing things were different. I also refer to it as pushing back against what is. Again, things need to be mourned. But things also need to be accepted and integrated.

Your marriage failed? Your life isn't over. Some might say it's really just beginning.

Someone you love died? You can love again. Dr. Phil once said something very good on this topic...the length and depth of your mourning has no relation to the length and depth of your love. They are two separate things. Being happy is not a betrayal of that love. In fact, anyone who loved you would want to see you happy, so it honors that love.

You were the victim of a crime? There's a lot to heal there. There's also a lot to learn and triumph over.

Most of the negative thoughts we think after a trauma are not true. They reflect our fears and feelings at the time. But there is a whole school of thought that can bring you back to peace. One thought is that there are no mistakes, only learning experiences. Another is that nothing is ever lost, it's just transformed. These two perspectives alone can bring you more peace, learning and healing than wallowing ever could.

There simply is no such thing as "ruin". Ruin happens when the foundation upon which you've built something is not substantial enough to hold what you've built. So ruin happens to show you where you need to build stronger foundations in your life. If someone died or a relationship ended and you "simply cannot go on", then your foundation of self-confidence, self-reliance and self-identity wasn't strong enough to support the relationship in the first place.

Nobody *is* your life. No state of being *is* your life. Nothing is permanent beyond your soul. And when you view life from the perspective of the soul, then you'll see "ruin" does not exist. And a world in which ruin does not exist is a more peaceful one, indeed.

6/26/12—Surrendering to Your Inner Knowing

Today's Draw: The Moon from Thea's Tarot. Do you have trouble trusting your intuition? Do you even know which voice up there it is? Given the choice between a gut feeling and logic, which would you choose?

So this week's theme is "how do we create more peace in our lives?" This Moon card brings a simple answer—trust yourself. 

Every human comes with a built-in GPS. We call it our instinct, intuition or inner knowing. Before we can learn to trust its turn-by-turn navigation, however, we must first learn how to hear it. It's that whisper that comes without thinking. It's a sudden idea or inspiration. It's the answer you get before you're done thinking the question. That said, it's also that voice we tend to second-guess with "why am I thinking that?" or "is that my intuition or is it just what I want to hear?" or "is that my knowing or my thinking?". So if you're not sure which voice is which in your head, you'll just have to experiment...go with the flow until you're pretty sure you know which is which. Even then there will probably be times you're confused.

The second thing you need to learn about this GPS is something that's critical to experiencing peace—there are no wrong turns. So whichever way our intuition steers us is the place we need to go. 

Think back on your life. Is there any decision you have ever made that didn't lead you to someplace valuable and necessary to your path? Even if you ended up someplace you felt was a bad place at the time, you survived it and came out of it with the kind of information you needed to keep it from happening again. Assuming you're still alive, whatever the situation was, it could have been worse. And the lesson you learned kept you from having to suffer that worst-case scenario. So if this GPS has never failed you, why do you second-guess it?

If you're anything like me, there have been times in your life when you've allowed others to steer you away from your inner knowing. And then, mostly likely, you've found yourself living someone else's version of who you should be. You took the job that didn't feel right because someone talked you into it. You bought a dress that you don't feel comfortable in because someone said it looked nice. Or you ended up lost on a roadtrip because you had more confidence in someone else's GPS than you have in your own. 

This is the worst kind of betrayal. Because its a betrayal of self. You listened to every voice outside of you before listening to the one within. The same is true even when there are no other voices in the mix—when you hear your intuition telling you to turn right and you turn left anyway. Even if the left turn leads you somewhere safe, you didn't honor the one and only voice on this earth that comes without an agenda, can speak faster than your ego and has only your best intentions at heart.

When you placing the voice of your higher self low on your priority scale, you cannot feel peace. There will always be conflict within...a grumbling between your knowing and your thinking...a lack of alignment between the calling of your higher self and the choices you make. So today's path to peace is paved by listening to that voice within and trusting that it cannot steer you wrong, no matter where it leads you.

6/25/12—Taking Control of Shapshifting Emotions

Today's Draw: Island of the Revolving Beast from the Celtic Book of the Dead oracle. Are you quick to anger? Do you often find that something comes along to ruin a perfectly good day? Do you have a hard time maintaining a sense of peace in your life?

As it turns out, last week's readings were all focused on creating change in our lives. And many weeks, come Wednesday or Thursday, I'll notice that the cards are following one theme or another. So this week I thought I'd make that intentional and, each day, ask how we can create more peace in our lives. 

A "Book of the Dead" is a funerary text to help ease the transition of a dead or dying person as they prepare for the otherworld. It contains prayers, as well as details the states we encounter after death. Perhaps originated by a shaman, priest or some other traveller into the other realms, these ancient texts were subject to great interpretation as they were often part of an oral tradition or had multiple versions preserved on scrolls or papyrus.

In the Celtic culture, the Book of the Dead is told in Immrama, or poems about a hero's oceanic quest in search of the otherworld. I was surprised to find that these poems are Christian in nature, not pagan as we're used to finding with the Celts. Certainly today "Irish Catholic" are two words that are inextricably intertwined, but in the world of mysticism and tarot, the Celts are all about paganism (earth-centered or polytheistic types of religion.) In a way, this deck pulls together the mythic nature of Celtic paganism with the ideas of paradise and transformation in Celtic Christianity.

So, with the intention of creating more peace in our lives, I chose the Island of the Revolving Beast. On the hero's quest for the underworld, they land upon 33 islands. And on this island, they are greeted by an angry beast who changed shape "quicker than thought". Does that sound like anyone you know...perhaps even yourself?

We all have a tendency to respond to things "quicker than thought". We can be fine one minute, but if our no-whip soy Caramel Macchiatto is made incorrectly—or takes too long to make—all bets are off. In any given day, we may shapeshift dozens of times. Most of the time we won't even notice it. The more we sit within our ego, the more often this will happen. And by ego I mean that part of us that walks within our own head, instead of inside the universe's head. The difference between the two is the difference between the experiencer and the observer....between the participator and the detached. 

When we're inside the head of the experiencer, we have no choice but to react. We have no choice to but to see the impact the situation is having on us in the moment. When we're inside the head of the observer, we simply see a situation....or the situation as it fits into the continuum of life. We come out of ourselves and see a truer version of what is going in...not just how something impacts us, but how the something fits into a larger pattern. We're more able to see the basic nature of ourselves, others and life. In the head of the ego, peace is fleeting and controlled by outside forces. In the head of the detached, peace becomes more of a constant and is less vulnerable to attack. 

One way to come out of the ego is to retrain yourself to pause before reacting. Reaction really is a habit you can break. Sure, you're going to still have moments when something pokes you when your guard is down. But most of the time you're able to take a moment before you respond and, in that moment, you can breathe, detach and remind yourself it's not all about you. There's something bigger going on. It's not an attack on you. Even when things sound and look like an attack on you, they're usually about the other person and a million other things, too. 

Another way to come out of the ego is to learn to trust that everything happens for reason. Everything is part of a much bigger pattern you don't have all of the pieces of yet. Again, it's not all about you. And another thing you can do is to play it like a game. What would this situation be like if I floated out of my body and saw it from the outside? What are the intentions of the players? What is really going on underneath the facade of their words and actions? Look at things clinically, like a doctor. Detach from what feels personal...because it's probably not. 

When it comes down to it, peace comes from a place of centeredness within. And you are in control of what disturbs that peace. You can point to outside forces as the cause of that disturbance ("I was having a pleasant drive until some asshole cut me off in traffic") but the real cause of the disturbance is the shapeshifting nature of your own ego—something you have complete control over.

Part of what I ask of my readers, when they're ready, is to do the tough work. To take personal responsibility for their lives. And one of those tough things is to move away from victimhood and realize there are no assholes and no people out to get you. The assholes and people who are out to get you are people who haven't yet healed something within them. And they come into your life to show you where you haven't yet healed yourself. They don't do this to show you're just like them. A mirror reflects back a mirror image, not the image a camera, for example, sees. So others don't mirror back to us in kind, they mirror back to us where our vulnerabilities are so we can heal them. 

When you're walking in the ego, you're just going to react and never see what's being mirrored back. It's not until you can step out of the ego, see why this situation is coming to you and see what it's triggering in you, that you'll be able to see the path toward healing it—the path toward replacing anger, frustration, annoyance, sadness and despair with peace.

6/23/12-6/24/12—Feeling Victorious

Weekend Reading: Six of Wands from the Kitty Kahane tarot. When you can win without creating losers, you've achieved something special, indeed. So much of life is spent working towards something that we often feel guilty—or frivolous—taking time out to celebrate our victories. But they were long coming and hard won. You deserve every drop of congratulations you can get. So this weekend, revel in your good fortune. And if you're not feeling too victorious, just wait. My week started out less than stellar and ended up yielding one bit of unexpected magic after another. Just because you don't see it coming doesn't mean it's not nearing your doorstep! So why not let it arrive to find you already celebrating?

6/22/12—Committing to Your Dream

Today's Draw: The Four of Wands from Patrick Valenza's Deviant Moon. Are you prepared to meet your destiny? Have you done all the necessary prep work? And are you truly ready to commit?

You never know what darkness—or just plain weirdness—you'll find lurking in the moonshade of this particular deck. But this card just brings a smile to the heart. A happy couple pauses for a meaningful glance on the path to the new home they'll be making together. Their look indicates a commitment. Their grasp indicates partnership, togetherness and support. And their little tomatillo pod home symbolizes both security and a good foundation for moving forward.

So far this week, we've talked about assessing situations, being open to unexpected solutions, clearing space and preparing that space for new things to come in. In short, the week seems to paint the picture of the process of creating change in our lives. And today's card adds the next step—committing to our new direction and building a solid foundation for it. 

So I'll tell you about my week so far. For the past few weeks, actually, I have been literally clearing space in my home, my life and my psyche. Then, this past Sunday, I led a waning moon releasing ceremony with the intention of releasing my blocks—fears, false beliefs, procrastination, etc.—to success (primarily in regard to a future career as an author.) So between those activities, I've been assessing my situation and clearing space. 

In the categories of being open to unexpected solutions and preparing my space, I signed up for a writer's workshop being offered by a major publisher. This is a workshop I had seen many times before and ignored, but this time I was open to learning more. The price was reasonable. The location couldn't get any better. And the timing is perfect because I've been working on a new book proposal all week. (The book proposal also qualifies for the "preparing my space" part.)

Now, I thought this workshop (which happens in September) was the universe answering my prayers and actually cried when it just randomly popped in front of my eyes. And it was/is. But in another twist in the "remaining open" category, I sent an email off to a friend who once casually said to me "when you get serious about publishing that book, let me know." I had no idea what that meant or if it even meant anything at all, but I kept it in my head. And instead of deciding it was "just talk", I remained open and followed up on it this week. 

To set the stage, I have two publishers in my head that I want to work with. One is sort of a sentimental/emotional favorite of mine. I've had my eye on them for a long time. They're a small publisher, but have had a couple of big successes. They're also open to unsolicited manuscripts, so that's a very good thing. The other publisher is not open to unsolicited manuscripts, so I'd have to find an agent before I approach them. They are, however, larger. They have tons of star-making power and could bring my platform to a much larger audience. Frankly, they intimidate me, because I fear my own success.

Anyway, long story short, I write my friend and she happens to be chummy with one of the authors from the large publisher—an author I just happen to adore and feel my message aligns with. This author will be in town—with the head honcho of the publishing company!—when the book writing workshop is happening and my friend thinks she can arrange a meeting with her. Can you imagine?! Meeting one of my favorite authors would be enough, but what if I could slip her my proposal? Then what if it just happens to slip over to the head honcho? Haha. 

What I'm getting at here, is that time has come for commitment. Instead of just working on my proposal, I have to finish it. And instead of waiting for a contract to write the book, I've got to get that going, too. (You only need a few finished chapters for a proposal and I have that.). Getting my crap together before September—no matter what happens with my friend's friend—is the firm foundation I need to rise up and meet this occasion. The funny thing is, after I do all of this, I may not even need the writing workshop (since it's mostly about the proposal process). But it is still, nonetheless, critical to my plan for other reasons.

So really just within days of clearing my space and beginning to prepare it, the need for a commitment has swooped in. See, you don't need commitment when you're just setting the stage. But once this meeting is set, there will be no backing out. There will be no more procrastination in the face of fear. The opportunity I've been preparing for in one way or another for years, will be here and I will have to rise up to greet it. That moment will come for you, too.

So this Four of Wands is about that commitment, but also about the solid foundation needed to move forward. Some of the things I've already been doing to clean up my life is part of that. Certainly my spiritual journey is part of that. This blog and what it's given me in terms of voice, discipline and the exercising of my spiritual noggin is part of it. There are still some things I have to build the foundation for. I mean, if I'm going to be more "public", I need to be ready for that. So while I still have many miles to go, I feel I'm on my way. 

Is there something in here you can apply to your own situation? Are you ready to fully commit? 

PS: As I was finishing this blog post, I got an email from a *different* friend informing me my TOP SECRET Tarot Project is now available for pre-order on Amazon.com! Though the book I talk about above is a spiritual book intended for a broad audience, this project is a tarot book and deck (intended entirely for tarot readers). Anyway, the amazing serendipity of the timing couldn't get better! If I am one day a popular author...or if I ever write a best seller...know that you were here for the magic week when all my years of work (and procrastination) started to come together! 

6/21/12—Smudging Your Home

Today's Draw: The Smudge Stick from My Big Sack O' Smudge. Does the air in your home feel dense? Has there been an illness, trauma or argument in your home? Do you think your home may be haunted?

Honestly, today I don't feel like being all wise and crap. So following on yesterday's theme of clearing, I thought I'd talk about smudge. 

Smudge is, at its most basic, just dried sage that you burn to purify your home or items, such as things you might buy from a second-hand store. You can buy it loose or tied up in a little bundle like in the picture. You can usually get sage bundles at Whole Foods or any kind of metaphysical store. Otherwise, there are tons of online sources to use.

Sage is one of four sacred Native American herbs used for ceremony, purification and healing. The others are cedar, sweetgrass and tobacco (or, alternately, lavender). Often you can find bundles with more than one of these herbs included. Though any sage is acceptable, the most popular is white sage—popular primarily for its aroma and not for any special powers it has.

What kinds of things might you "smudge" or "sage" or purify with sacred smoke? You might smudge a house you're trying to sell or a previously owned item you've received to release the energies of the previous owner. If you buy crystals or other metaphysical items, you might want to smudge them to clear any energy that gathered before you bought them. You might smudge your own home to release negative vibes, ease a change or transition or just as part of a regular "cleansing" of energy. You might smudge yourself as part of a healing ritual. And if you're taking part in a spiritual ceremony, the facilitator might smudge you upon arrival. 

How do you smudge? It depends on what you're smudging. If it's an object, just light the sage until it catches fire. Then blow the flame out and let it smoulder. Then just run the object through the smoke, like you're bathing it in the smoke. That's it. The sage will probably go out on its own, but if you have a stick, you can douse it in sand or earth.

Sweetgrass puts out less smoke than sage and needs to be re-lit more often.

The braids are usually a couple of feet long. I keep a sweetgrass braid in my

car as an air freshener. It has a sweet, fresh, vanilla-like scent. 

If you want to get fancier, then it's good to know what each of the herbs does. Sage and cedar remove negativity, heal and purify. Sweetgrass and lavender draw in positive vibes. You'll find a lot of different thoughts on what I've just said and that's OK. Really, any of the herbs can be used to cleanse. Sometimes cedar is used on the heels of sage to purify after negativity is removed. And sometimes lavender is used to call in beneficial spirits. What's most important is the intention you place behind the smudging.

To smudge a home for any of the reasons mentioned above (though for harmful ghosts, you will probably want a professional's help), light the sage stick on fire and blow out the flame. You will probably have to re-light the sage several times during this process. Start at the North end of your home on the lowest floor and "bathe" the space, following inner perimeter of your home in a counter-clockwise direction (in other words, move from north to west to south to east). By bathing the space, I mean blow the smoke toward your walls and into corners, wave the stick up and down and make sure the smoke gets everywhere, including in the middle of the room and in closets. All the time you're doing this, you can repeat your intention, such as "this sacred smoke cleanses and removes all negativity from this space."

Once you're done with the lowest floor, then move up to the next floor and the next until you've cleansed all levels of your home, moving in a counter-clockwise direction, starting on each floor on the North wall and repeating your intention throughout. Then you can open your windows long enough to air out your home, if you like. Or you can just let the smoke settle in there. It depends on your tolerance and preference for that sort of thing. 

Most won't have to go far to find a some cedar to burn. It's always nice
to use homegrown ingredients when you can.

You can stop there and that's cool. You'll probably notice your home feels more lighter and more open. Your house should now have neutral energy. But if you'd like, you can repeat the process IN REVERSE with sweetgrass to draw positive energies in. So in this case, you start in the North on the top floor moving clockwise (or north to east to south to west.) Then work your way down from the top level of your home, all the while repeating your intention, such as "I fill this space with light, positive energy."

Now, as I said before, you can buy smudge bundles with multiple herbs in them. If that's the case, then I would just follow the instructions above for sage. Personally I prefer doing the separate thing. And my habit is to add the sweetgrass step maybe every other time I sage. If you google "smudging ceremonies" along with the  specific purpose you want to smudge for, you should find tons of information to help you accomplish your goals. Mine is just one way to do it. Again, the intention behind it is more important than the steps you take. 

Whether you believe the smoke has any "power" or not, sometimes just the ritual of doing something like this can help release emotional things we're holding on to. Even when done symbolically, it could be just thing you need to draw a line in the sand between yesterday and a new tomorrow.

6/20/12—Making the Tough Decisions

Today's Draw: Seven of Bows from the Wildwood Tarot. Is there something you want to do, but you've never gotten around to doing it? Does life keep getting the way of your dreams? What would you be willing to do to have the thing you've always wanted?

I recently had a discussion about life dreams with a friend of mine. She's a single mom and a spiritual leader/teacher and she earns her living in a spiritual profession. She's also itching to write a book. She knows everything the book is going to say, she just has to write it. But she can't find the time. 

We all know that, right? And if you make your living in a spiritual profession, then you know that the psychics, mediums, spiritual teachers, healers and other light workers who are showered with riches are few and far between. One of the ways to become one of those fortunate few is to write a book. But if you're mired in the details of paying a mortgage, raising children, promoting your business, keeping your home clean, maintaining friendships and all the other necessities of life, when do you write that book (or go back to school or hike the Himalayas or whatever your dream is)?

The Seven of Bows is about making priorities and choices in life. It's about clearing space for the things we want out of life. There comes a time when we have to make some tough decisions if we're ever going to live our dreams. And we also have to take a good hard look at what is really standing in our way. Even the busiest of moms is probably saying yes to at least one time-sucking thing that they could just say no to...being a Girl Scouts troop leader, working on the PTA, being the home all the kids go to after school. You may not WANT to give those things up, you may have reasons why you can't, but in reality, they're optional. Plenty of moms aren't doing them and you could be one of them. 

What it all really comes down to is this: the biggest thing standing between us and what we want is excuses. And the excuses usually only hold water if you're the kind of person who is never going to achieve your goal. J.K. Rowling, for example, had tons of excuses why she couldn't write Harry Potter. She was a single mom living at poverty level, recovering from a failed marriage and the death of her mother, and battling depression. Rather than indulge the momentum of all those things, she wrote anyway. Everyone has excuses. And for every excuse, there's both a fear-based reason for it and a way around it.  

Look at it this way—what, other than supplying the basic needs of food, shelter and love to your family, is more important than using this one chance at life to pursue your dreams? You want to be there to see every single one of your daughter's dance classes? Then you're making a choice to watch dance classes rather than pursue your goal. Your daughter may feel like you're an attentive mom and that's great. And maybe one day she'll even give up her own dreams to watch her daughter's dance classes, because that's what mother's do. Or you could use that time to pursue your dream and focus instead on the quality time when you can actually interact with her. The choices you make for your dreams are not always easy. But the people who have what you want to have made difficult choices of their own. 

My pathetic excuse is that I write all day for a living. When that's done, I write a blog (waving hello to all my readers!) And when all of that is done, I frankly don't feel like writing. That's my excuse. Beneath that is, admittedly, a fear of failure/success that keeps my butt dragging, but I continue to move forward despite it. Anyway, back in January I shared my excuse with a wise woman who suggested that I write a chapter of my book a week as part of my blog. I did that in January and February and got enough of those entries to put into a book proposal. I also got a lot of positive feedback that reinforced my desire to write this book.

See, you don't have to do the whole dream at once. It helps to remind yourself of that. With book writing, you just have to write a proposal. And if a publisher says they want to publish your book, then you'll get deadlines you have to meet. And you'll meet them, because you have to.

Same thing goes with hiking the Himalayas. You don't have to hike them today. But you can start making plans...training your body, getting the money together, mapping course, making lists of things you'll need, scouting out hostles, shopping for sherpas. By the time the reality of living the dream hits, you won't have a choice but to pursue it! 

But the first thing you have to do is start clearing the space for this thing in your life, whether literally or figuratively. All it took was for me to ask my single-mom friend a simple question, "is there something in your life that is taking more time and effort than it's worth...something that once used to hold value, but no longer does?" She immediately knew where to clear space. She'll probably need more space than that, but it's a start. And she'll need the discipline to use that cleared space for its intended purpose. But once that space is cleared, it will be easier to weed out some of the things that may be more difficult to let go of. Before she knows it, writing will be just as automatic as the other priorities in her life.

Clearing is a pivotal choice we make where we decide whether to walk toward our dreams or put them off. Again. Whichever choice you make is up to you and can really only be judged by you. But Clearing gives you the opportunity to really decide how important those dreams really are....or if they've changed over years and become about something else. Like making sure you're there for all your daughter's dance classes.

Whatever your choice, choose it with confidence and move forward with confidence. The only thing more painful than making a difficult choice is to spend your life looking over your shoulder at all the choices you didn't make and wish you had.