1/19/11—Creating Intimacy

Today's Draw: The Knight of Cups from the Magna Veritas. Do you have true intimacy with another? Can you make yourself fully vulnerable and raw to another? Or do you think that sort of truth is best kept to oneself?

 

There are many interesting aspects to this Knight of Wands. There is a banner on the card that reads "diligo victum totus adversum" or "love conquers all adversity". There is an iching hexagram, #61 or Kung Fu, which corresponds to putting ...emotion aside so inner truth may shine through. And there is a number, 34, which reduces to 7 (as does 61), which is a very spiritual number that also speaks of seeking the truth, but among other things, suggests intimacy might be a difficult path for the reader. And the knight himself is a warrior for love and truth.

So, to me, this particular card is all about laying oneself bare to another...being fully honest, even with your most vulnerable parts. Is this something you've achieved? Is this something you feel capable of achieving? Or do you tend to raise walls when someone reaches a certain point with you?

There are many long-term relationships that never reach this kind of intimacy. Some people never fully open themselves to another. What do you think about all of this? Should they? Or are there just some things that are meant for only yourself? And what kind of things might those be?

I will admit I've never had a truly intimate relationship. I've never coupled with the sorts of men who would a) reciprocate and b) be worthy of that sort of trust. Which is a sad thing to say, but it's true. It's why I remain single. Of course, I chose men like that for a reason. And I've changed significantly in my attitudes since then. The relationship I'm looking for now would be one of spiritual partnership and emotional intimacy. I feel like I keep running up against men who aren't capable of revealing their fears and innermost dreams...men who have shut down in one way or another, either because they've always been that way, have had a disappointing experience in the past or whatever. I know there's one out there who is right for me and worthy of my trust, I just haven't met him. But when I do, I'm ready to push past that point at which I've stopped in the past. So if I'm able to open up in my older years, certainly there's someone else out there who is willing to do the same thing.