Thursday, February 3, 2011

2/3/11—Transforming Self

Today's Draw: 9 of Pentacles from the Science Tarot. What part of your old self are you shedding? And what are you replacing it with? What transformation do see yourself going through now?
The Science Tarot equates everything to scientific theories, discoveries or natural phenomenon. And this card's theme is the Aurora. Excited atoms shed electrons in the sun's atmosphere and interact with Earth's magnetic field, creating a b...eautiful display. This stream of particles is invisible until it hits its target and is "made visible" by our atmosphere.

That's kind of how change happens, right? The change happens slowly, invisibly over months or years, then bam! It all comes together into something beautiful. We don't even see it happening a lot of the time and it's not until it has happened that we're able to see the transformation.

This morning I'm thinking about how tired I am of others pushing their agendas on me and judging the way I am, as if they know a better way for me to be. First of all, they should keep their eyes on their own crap and set about making themselves a better person. And second, I call the shots in my life and if you don't like how I am, then please get out of my life. Frequently these people are very judgmental of others, while seeing everything they do as perfect. And it is perfect...for them.

So the change I'm making is to stop giving these people credence and power in my life. We all have opinions. But when you express those opinions without first looking at yourself and seeing your own stuff, then your opinions are not coming from a place of authority in my eyes. I know where I'm falling short of my own expectations and often talk about it here. But whether or not I fall short of your expectations is inconsequential to me. I'm not here to live your life, I'm here to live mine. Which is not to say I don't consider your needs when I interact with you. It's just saying that I don't consider your needs when I shape my life and my interactions with others. And if you need me to bend to your way of being to feel good about me, then please move on. I have a path and mission of my own and I'm not going to change it for you.

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