Monday, May 7, 2012

5/8/12—Releasing Understanding

Today's Draw: "Where Understanding Hums" from Illuminate! Life Journey Cards by Linda Clayton. Are you feeling stuck on, or held back by, something simply because you can't understand why it happened? Or because you don't have all the answers you need to come to peace? What do you think having all the answers will give you that can't get right now without them?

This card depicts a woman with her hands outstretched. In one hand is a bird. The keywords in the deck's book include insight, understanding, serendipity and acceptance. The book also asks an interesting she welcoming the bird in or letting him go?

We always want to know why things happen—especially those of us who believe everything happens for a reason. Why did our marriage break up? Why did he cheat on me? Why did so-and-so do xyz? Why can't I seem to ever have such-and-such? Why now? Why not? Why me?

For some of those questions there will be answers and understanding will come in a timely manner. For some questions, understanding will be delayed. For others still, understanding will never come. And in some cases in all of that, understanding will never be enough. Sometimes the best you can hope for is peace. Or truce. 

We often think understanding will be what heals us. When we get the answers we want, then we can move forward. But sometimes letting go of the need for understanding is the most healing thing you can do. I've spoken before about how my father was murdered 24 years ago. There are things about that I'll never understand. And not just because the act was unconscionable, but because there are just questions that will never be answered and that's the way it is.

Letting go of needing to know...of even wanting to know...doesn't mean I'm not honoring my father's memory. It actually means I'm embracing his memory. Without the need for answers or revenge standing between me and his memory, I'm able to honor it more. What is holding on to the bird for 24 years going to get me anyway? 

I have faith that there are reasons for everything. I accept I will not always know the reasons. And I believe that if I'm meant to know the reasons, they will find me whether I'm looking or not. That three-sentence mantra or prayer is often the best we can do in life, especially when it comes to our most difficult experiences.

The lady in the drawing knows that understanding often hums sometimes at a distance. She can neither expect to fully grasp anything, nor hold on to answers that will never come. Wisdom lies in finding peace and acceptance, regardless of what understanding may or may not come.

No comments:

Post a Comment