1/2/13—Attracting Bad Energy

Today's Draw: Nine of Swords from the Nigel Jackson Tarot. Are you a beacon for a certain type of person or energy in your life? Have you ever really examined why? Would you rather be a victim of these situations, or would you rather be the cause?

Today's card art is one of the reasons I like Nigel Jackson. It's non-traditional, tarot-wise, and just has these great colors and concepts. The meaning of "martyrdom" and "ominous signs" is also non-traditional, seeing as how Swords are the fire suit in this deck. For the non-tarotists, those meanings are closer to the Nine of Swords as an air sign than they are to the Nine of Wands, which is the traditional fire sign in tarot. *nudging the non-tarotists who fell asleep during that last sentence*

We all know people who come upon the same problems with others over and over again in their lives. They know all the perpetrator's problems and pathology. And yet they're completely unaware of the role and responsibility they have in the dynamic. The only explanation is that the other person is an asshole or jealous or mentally ill. And, for some reason, people like that keep finding them. Like the guy in the picture, there's some sort of cloud or demon or bad luck hanging over their head. 

Truth is, all of us have these repeating issues in our lives, whether it's with another person or with life in general. And sometimes it's hard to pinpoint the reasons why. But the reasons are never anything or anyone outside of us. If you're a beacon for all the assholes, idiots and crazies in this world, it's because of something you're doing—or not doing—to attract the behavior. And, like most psychologically and spiritually unhealthy things, it usually driven by some sort of fear. 

An example from my own life is a pattern of attracting people who take advantage...who don't return the energy given in the friendship. Which is not to say all people are like that. I have plenty of people in my life that aren't like that. But that I tend to draw "users" close, then regret it. Some of it is due to a need on my part to be liked and seen as "good". I give so I'll be liked. And the people most attracted to that are people who like to take and not give in return. That's only a part of why I've attracted those people in the past. There's more, because I'm clearly a deeply disturbed person...haha. But you can see how the puzzle pieces fit together. 

Thing is, it's not an issue you can fix as long as you're focusing all your attention on how bad or inconsiderate or crazy they are. You can only fix it if you see where you attract it and focus your attention on fixing it. Otherwise, you'll just attract another. Or create a scenario in your mind where someone is doing the same thing to you. If you go looking for it by seeing it in everyone or thinking people have a secret agenda, you'll find it. 

None of us wants to believe we're the reason things are the way they are in our lives. Personally, I'd rather find out these patterns are all my fault than to find out I have no control over what happens in my life. The scary things are the things we can't change in life, not the ones we can.