2/27/13—Widening Your Options

Today's Draw: Eight of Swords in the Underlying Issues From The Past That Form The Heart Of The Situation position from the Tarot of the Sevenfold Mystery and the Deck of 1000 Spreads. Do you feel trapped? Stuck? Do you feel your options are limited?

Today's draw is different for a couple of reasons. One is that I'm drawing it in advance of meeting up with a friend, thinking this may help her. And another is that it's using an AMAZING technique developed by Lee Bursten, creator of the Gay Tarot, among others. You can read about it on www.1000Spreads.com, but it's basically creating a unique spread position by combining two or more spread positions into one. To my knowledge nothing like this has ever been done before and Lee was inspired by my Deck of 1000 Spreads!

OK. So my friend seems to have been having a difficult time lately. I know nothing about it. That's why we're getting together. But I thought a little tarot insight might help. So I created the Underlying Issues From The Past That Form The Heart Of The Situation position...haha.

Here's what the Eight of Swords is all about. There are times in our lives that we feel trapped and devoid of choices. It can also refer to blocked energy and negativity. Add it all up and it's a big ball of self-induced limitation. We all do it to ourselves at some point. And the biggest culprit is black and white thinking. 

What I mean by that is that there's only two choices. Stay or go. Win or lose. Succeed or fail. And when we only allow ourselves options at extreme opposite ends of the spectrum, we up the fear ante on every decision we make because the stakes are absolute. If we do the boss' dirty work as requested, we succeed. If we don't do it, we're doomed to fail. So we do it out of fear of the repercussions of not doing it. But there's a whole array of options in between, ranging from turning your boss in to changing departments to getting another job. And you haven't considered them because you've been blinded by fear. 

The Eight of Swords is why people stay in broken relationships. They only see stay or go. Some stay out of fear of not having enough money to be on their own. Some stay because they fear failing the relationship. And some leave because it never occurred to them that there were other options. Like counseling. Or having an open relationship. Or leaving the relationship, but not leaving the home. Or leaving the home, but not leaving the relationship. Or, like the best-selling book The Five Love Languages advises, learning how to speak your partner's language. Personally, I think a lot of relationships can and should be saved. But, because the minute conflict and discord sets in the first thought is "stay or go", none of the options that can save the relationship even get considered. And then it becomes too late. 

Beyond the black and white thing, I think in some cases the way we were raised leaves us with only one option. For some that translates as "failure is not an option". For some it's "gay is a disease you can be healed of". For some it's "everyone in our family is a doctor". You get the picture. You get shoehorned into something that doesn't fit and, while you might question it from time to time, you're nonetheless resigned to it. Another trap of the Eight of Swords. 

Yet another trap is depression, negative thinking or even mental illness. Depression definitely causes our focus to narrow to the point where we can't see our options. And all those shootings? Those people had convinced themselves there was only one thing they could do. 

So if you feel trapped or blocked or stuck right now, move past the fear and the black and white to the gray space in between. And ask yourself, what are REALLY my options. List them all out, including the ones you'd never even consider. And if one of the options is to ask for help, by all means do that.  When you see all the options you have, fear will dissipate and may even clear your mind enough to allow a divinely inspired solution to set in. 

3/28/12—Bringing Shadows to Light

Today's Draw: The Moon from Infinite Visions. What thoughts slowly and persistently haunt your mind? And how do they limit the way you live? What is it time to shine the moon's light upon in your life?

Yesterday we talked about different ways we resist the flow of what the universe brings to us. We resist when we're unhappy with what we're given. We resist when we can't find reverence in everyday things. And The Moon comes to tell us that we also resist when we keep parts of ourselves and our lives in the darkness. 

Often times we carry around questions or worries we don't have the answers to. And we tend to create monsters in place of those answers. An example might be putting off our annual mammograms. The longer we put them off, the more monsters we build in our heads. What if cancer is growing inside of me right now? What if it's too late? What if I have to have a mastectomy? These fears cause further resistance and further fears to the point that the last thing you consider is that the mammogram could actually say you don't have cancer. 

Further, this darkness spills into other areas of your life. Because you don't know how healthy you are, you might be making inappropriate choices. So the reach of your fear widens. And those inappropriate choices may lead to to other things. For example, the weight of your fear could cause you overeat out of nervousness. Then that could lead to insecurity about the way you look, which could lead to isolating yourself socially. 

My god, this is starting to sound like me! Haha. I'm actually good about the mammogram thing. But I do have issues around weight that create issues elsewhere in my life. But you don't even have to think that big to find something. It could be as easy as worrying when you're driving because you know you need new tires. And that could cause you to be more nervous on the road. Etc. and so on.

 

Whether it's the end of a relationship, a health issue, a change you need to make or something more mundane, we tend to be more comfortable pushing the answers into the dark. Which makes no sense because the only certainty that exists is when you bring these things into the light. 

And the crazy thing about all of this is that we NEVER ask ourselves, "what if I DON'T have cancer?" What then? What kind of stuff would we do if our heads were free of all the heaviness and yuk? What would our lives be like if we imagined the best, rather than imagining the worst?

This is what The Moon card has come to teach us today. To look at these worries, fears and concerns that limit us and consider replacing at least one of our worst case scenarios with a best case scenario. To turn our fears around. To know we can handle any eventuality with grace. To be the person we are, regardless.

Because here's the thing. If the worst case scenario comes to pass, you'll have to deal with it anyway. You'll cry over it and learn from it. But why waste time suffering it before it gets here, especially when there's no guarantee it will ever arrive? We're wasting time we could be spending living our lives and basking in the peace and contentment that comes from an un-haunted mind. It's time to shine the moon's gentle light on those fears, pull them from out of the shadows and deal with them, come what may.