9/20/12—Returning to the Mother

Today's Draw: The Empress from the Sacred Sites Tarot. Are you a mother? How is your relationship with your mother? How do relate to the myth of Demeter?

Each card in this deck is attributed to a sacred site. This card is about the Sanctuary of Demetra, dedicated to the Eleusinian mysteries. So today I learned that the Eleusinian mysteries were ceremonies held for the cult of Persephone and Demeter. 

So if you're not up on the scoop, Persephone was out gathering flowers one day when Hades popped out of the underworld and kidnapped her. Her distraught mother, Demeter, the goddess of agriculture and fertility, searched for her. Her distress caused a draught that left people starving and dying. Because of this Zeus interceded, because gods need people to worship them and when the people die, so does the worship. So he made a deal with Hades to let Persephone return to her mother part of the year. 

So when Persephone is with Demeter, the earth comes alive with the warmth of the sun and crops are abundant. And she returns to Hades, the earth grows cold and raw. And that, folks, is why we have seasons!

This is a perfect card for relationship week. But since this is about the mother/child relationship, I'm limited in my ability to address it. I don't know what it's like to have a human child. I only know what it's like to be one. 

A while back I watched a show about Jaycee Dugard. She's the woman that was kidnapped at 11 and remained in captivity for 18 years. Her mother never really gave up hope. There seems to be something in the programming between mother and child that tells one if the other is still alive. You hear these moms say it all the time...that they felt their child was gone when they were. Or that they felt their child was alive when they were. There's something remarkable about the connection between two bodies that once lived as one. 

Likewise, Jaycee had two daughters of her own while in captivity. And the circumstances of their birth did not change the depth of that connection. In fact, surviving that tragedy may have even made the connection that much more precious. Her mother also adores her grandchildren. The legacy of unconditional love cannot be broken any more than the energetic bond between mother and child. 

So you can see how Demeter's sorrow was powerful enough to cause a smothering drought. I imagine that's what Jaycee's mom felt inside all those years. 

I can only speak of this relationship from the other side. I'm a doggy mom and my commitment to them is all-in and unconditional, but right or wrong or whatever, we do hold human life more precious. It's a key difference in the relationships. But I do know this, I lost my mom at 21 and have not stopped missing her since. 

So today, honor that connection in whatever way you can. If you and your mom aren't the best of friends, give her a call anyway. I'm certain that, no matter what you think, her heart aches to know you've been thinking of her. If the two of you are close, call just to hear her voice and tell her so. If you are so incredibly lucky to have your mother still among the living, please take advantage of that. And if you don't, look inside your heart...that one that once beat within her womb and the one that was forever shaped by her love. She will always be there waiting for the day you reunite and life is abundant once again. 

4/20/12—Glimpsing Into the Great Mystery

Today's Draw: Red-Breasted Birds from Nature. Do you think a deceased family member has ever come to you as an animal? Have you ever had (or thought you had) a visitation of some other sort from spirit? What's your story?

A couple of weeks ago I did an entry on how some animals will show themselves to us to bring a message. Each animal has a different energy associated with it, so when I see a deer, for example, I'll be reminded to be more gentle with myself. And the animal is usually making its presence known in an obvious way. You could drive yourself crazy thinking every time you see a squirrel it has some special meaning. Anyway, you can find these associations online or in books or you can determine them for yourself simply by asking yourself what you know and think about the animal. Like we know deer are gentle, for example.

There are other times you'll see a particular animal and sense it's more of a visitation from beyond rather than making you aware of the specific qualities of their breed. Lately my sisters have been seeing red-breasted birds—cardinals and robins. One sister sees cardinals when times are bad and they're her reassurance that things are going to turn out OK. The other sister has just recently had a robin make itself known to her by causing a ruckus around her house. The bird has calmed down now, but is still standing guard by her window. 

If you haven't read all my posts this week, one of them was about how my brother is nearing the end of his life. He has cancer. And birds are significant in our family, as they are in his life in a way. My grandmother on my mother's side was a huge bird enthusiast and kept them as pets. My mom enjoyed birds a great deal, too. My sister remembers her particularly liking "robin red-breasts". Her first home in this country was St. Louis and that's where she met my dad. And my brother was always a loyal St. Louis Cardinals fan. Plus Virginia was our home for so long and cardinals are the state bird. So, in particular, red-breasted birds have some meaning in our family. 

I haven't had significant interaction with a red-breasted bird lately, but one of the phenomena I think everyone in our family has experienced is the smell of cigar smoke coming from nowhere. My dad smoked cigars. And when you're in your smoke-free home, just you and your dogs, and a strong waft of cigar smoke comes through, you can't help but think of him. I also share an ice-cube dropping issue with one of my brothers. Every time we get ice from the freezer, one cube drops out and I attach meaning to that, though I'm sure exactly what.

Now, I'll admit I'm someone who finds meaning in many daily occurrences. And I try to keep some healthy skepticism because I know my tendencies. But I've had words spoken in my ear from invisible sources in the room. I've had ideas enter into my head out of nowhere. I've had things drop from cabinets at the very moment I'm thinking of someone who's passed. I've seen my dad's extremely rare MGB GT from the late 60s parked on a street in my neighborhood many days in a row, only to never see it again. I even spoke to the driver. His parents live around the corner from me and he lives in the next neighborhood over, so you'd think I'd see it more consistently, but I never saw that man or that car again after I talked to him. 

Our deceased people can show themselves to us in many ways...they might come in a dream, you may smell their perfume, you might hear an odd phrase they used to say, you could see something that reminds you of them, you could have a significant animal sighting you associate with them, weird things might disappear or move around your house, you might swear you see them driving down the road or you might see them stand right in front of you as they did when alive. The degree to which you think you're imagining it is up to you. My feeling is if you wonder if it could be a visitation, it probably is.

Most of the time they just want you to know they're ok, they're still around and they still think of you. It would make sense that we'd be having experiences right now because it's a hard time for all of us. I think our parents want us to know they'll be there to greet him when he passes over and they'll be there to comfort us once he's gone.

I suppose spirits get used to us denying their signs and ignoring their visits. They were probably guilty of the same doubt in their earthly incarnations. But wouldn't it be awful to think someone we loved and miss terribly was there all along and we never acknowledged them? That the very thing we prayed for came to pass and we were too stubborn or doubtful to accept it? 

I've had enough experiences in my life, both of my own and through mediums, to doubt anymore. There are great mysteries out there, the knowledge of which we may only discover after death. The way I see it, if I die and find out I'm wrong, it probably won't matter. But, for me, being alive is more magical and meaningful if I'm able to glimpse into a mystery much bigger than the pretty cool miracle of life itself. So my mother still visits my sisters, my father watches over us and my brother is going to land in their arms when he slips away from life. For me, life would be pretty lonely if I chose to believe anything less.