2/21/14—Transcending Limitations

Today's post is a classic post from 1/9/13, because I ran out of time tonight. :) 

Once a month, I go to a wonderful healing session up near Annapolis. The woman, Diane, practices the Bonny Method of Music-Evoked Healing. If you're reading on my official blog, you can see some of my past experiences here and here.

In today's re-post, I talk about a session I had a year go. But first, let me tell you the mechanics of what happens in these sessions because they're so unique. It begins with setting an intention and, in this case, it was about exploring false limitations. And then Diane guides me through relaxation the way a hypnotherapist would. Then she intuitively chooses music to help me on my journey. And as I listen to the music, I tell her the images that come into my head based on the music and she writes them down, while guiding the session.

Diane has a degree in music therapy, she's certified in the Bonny Method, she's a Reiki master, a Native American lodge keeper and really one of the best people I know. You'd think I'd have met her in some incense cloaked pillow pit lit by candles and black light, but I actually met her in an advertising agency I freelanced at some 15 years ago where she was a VP or some such mucky muck.

Anyway, I say all of that, because some will think, "oh, cool, let's get some gals together and do that Friday night," but it's not that easy. There's actually a lot of training that goes into it. And others will think "oh, this is one of Tierney's weirdo woo-woo friends." And while that's true, she's actually a very accomplished, trained and qualified woo-woo weirdo. And she would have to be, because sometimes these journeys can bring up difficult stuff and she needs to know how to handle that.

Gratuitous shot of the AWESOME Neil deGrasse Tyson & some white light. 

OK, so enough about that. The theme was about exploring false limitations. And because I've been doing this for quite some time, I almost immediately go into a subconscious state. By that I mean I go so deep that I don't even know what I'm saying half the time. "Tierney" has left the building. And I'm often shocked at some of the things she tells me that I say. I'm under for maybe 20-30 minutes? I don't know. It seems like a really long time sometimes. So this is a simplistic representation of what happened today.

I started out in this world, on a beach, in a cove. I was sitting at the back of the cove and saw an image in front of me that was, essentially, the statue of Jesus in Rio de Janeiro. Then the image ripped in half, like you would rip a photograph and a beautiful, white coral staircase appeared on the beach, beckoning me upward. This staircase led to another reality, which was essentially a black hole. I didn't want to stay there, so I went up to another reality and another reality, neither of which were inviting. All had some form of abyss and, while I was safe and on sturdy ground in each one, each was a portal to a world I couldn't see from my vantage point. So I stayed safe.

This is the Jesus I saw...from the back. 

Finally a hummingbird came along to whisk me away to the "top" reality. By that, I mean these realities were shown to me in layers and this was the top layer. Hummingbirds, I found out after the fact, are symbolic of the miracle of life, as well as joy, love and beauty. (Trust me, if I were consciously making all this stuff up, Jesus wouldn't be in it, nor would a hummingbird. And, in fact, I only vaguely remembered any of this upon waking. Which is why she writes stuff down.) 

So the hummingbird flies me to the highest reality and it's all light. At first, I am the darkness that cuts the light. But then the light overtakes me, too. First I lose my body and can feel my distinct consciousness in the light. Then the lines of the consciousness loosen and I *am* the light. Eventually I move out of the light and am part of the cosmos. The "all that is" and I are inseparable now. I am capable of anything and everything. I can do all sorts of tricks. And at that point I say, "now I remember that I always used to be able to do this. And I was good at it. Then the ability (was taken from me.)" The "was taken from me" part is in parentheses. It's what I said, but not really what I meant. At one second in the journey I knew the entire process of how we lose the capability, but in the next second I didn't and those were the only words I could think of. I could have just as easily said "I lost it", "I let it go" or anything else. It really bugged me that I couldn't remember the rest of my thought, because it felt like there was valuable wisdom there, but it slipped away. 

The rest of the session was spent floating in that place in the cosmos, pure consciousness. And based on some of the things I said, it would seem that I'm much wiser and more carefree in that state. It was a state of divine detachment and, gratefully, the music that started playing (no kidding) was a lullaby, so I just felt held in "mother's arms" as I experienced the silence and ease of the "all that is". 

But back to false limitations. What this journey came to tell me—and tell all of us—is that there are NO limitations. What we truly are transcends all limitations, including space and time. As I said in the journey, we used to know how to transcend our limitations, but when we came here, we somehow forgot it. That doesn't mean it's not still there within us. Heck, even the fact that we're earthbound humans is a false limitation that somehow got placed on us when we were born. 

I had recently heard someone say that the reason we have seratonin and dopamine and all those brain chemicals is because if we didn't, we'd be scared shitless at the "reality" we'd landed in on this earth journey. I mean, just think of it...going from a place where you are fully at peace, inseparable with the "all that is," to a place where cells, our bodies, our homes, our planet, our beliefs—everything in our "reality"—separates us from who we REALLY are. So this is why most of us are driven to find that oneness again through religion and spirituality. (Or drugs.)

So that's the thought today. What if there really were nothing to limit you whatsoever? What if you moved through life knowing you held in your hand the creative power of the "all that is"? What if you had the ability transcend even the limitations of having a physical body or being tied to space and time? How would that change things? Are you ready to take that leap?

2/19/14—Choosing Your Life

What if, before you were even born, you chose who you would be, the challenges you'd deal with, the challenges you wouldn't deal with, who your parents and siblings would be, even how you'd die? I'm pretty sure I believe this happens. I say "pretty sure" because, fact is, none of us really knows. We can *think* we know down to the very bottom of our soul who/what God is, what life's all about, etc., but we'd be one of 8 billion people, all with differing beliefs and all of whom believe it to the bottom of their very soul. What makes any of us think we have all the answers?

So even if you don't believe we choose the big things in our lives, read on. Because imagining it's true can help you learn a lot about yourself, I think. 

As I was saying, I think we choose the major stuff before we're even born. We sort of dispassionately make certain decisions based not on how it would affect others, but how it would effect us. To our eternal soul, dying of cancer or of suicide is not a big thing. It's just an option on a menu. And if killing yourself is traumatic for someone you leave behind, that's none of your business. They chose to be in your life before they were even born so they could have the trauma. See?

This is different from the notion of fate, because fate seems to leave "you" out of the picture, as if some outside force is making the decisions. In this theory, you make all decisions. So it's something a higher you...a wiser you...a more holy you chose, knowing the whole picture. Thinking about that, right there, changes a lot of stuff for me. That means I wanted to be this person I sometimes don't want to be!

The other day, I came across a group of stories about kids who told their parents when and why they chose them. By this, I mean kids from age 3-6 who have memories of choosing their parents before they came here. A couple of the kids said they were brought into a room, like a store, and prospective parents would be lined up and they (their souls) would choose which set of parents to have as their own. Presumably all the parents would help with the lesson the soul came to learn, but each different set would come with their own different flavor.

So, for example, I chose to come here to have weight issues and esteem issues connected to weight, because that's one of the big things my soul wanted to learn about. So, theoretically, there would be a room full of parents—single parents, married parents, adoptive parents, rich parents, poor parents, etc.—and I chose Bob and Kathleen because they could suitably shame me for being fat. But I didn't choose Sam and Pat, because they would not only shame, they would abuse me. And I didn't choose single mom, Laura, because she's homeless and that's not a lesson I came here to learn or wanted to learn. 

The interesting thing is that Bob and Kathleen, in addition to shaming me for being fat, would also offer up some abandonment issues to me that weren't on the menu when my five siblings chose them. And they would also give me certain freedoms and perks that also weren't on the menu for my older siblings. So, weighing it all out, I chose Bob and Kathleen, knowing what would become of them and what lessons I would learn from that. And knowing that I'd have to share my entire life with five siblings who, at times, would be either be like strangers or best friends. I chose to live a largely solitary life. I chose not to have children. I chose to have dogs (who would become some of my greatest teachers.) And, however/whenever I die, I chose that, too. All the rest—all the details along the way—get filled in through the hand of God or the infinite organizing power of the universe.

I chose it all. And when I consider this belief, it changes things when you believe you CHOSE your challenges, rather than feeling a victim of them or, at the very least, saddled with them by some unseen force. There feels like there's more of a mission to this whole thing we call life, too. 

So, consider....if you chose the big challenges you have in your life, why? And how did the parents you chose impact that? What degree of difficulty do you think you aimed for in this lifetime? What lessons might you have come here to start on, but not finish? What different lessons did your siblings come to learn from the same parents? And if you're a parent yourself, for better or worse, why did each of your kids choose you? Even if you don't quite believe in this stuff, contemplating these questions can provide valuable insights as to your mission here on earth. 

2/17/14—Leaving Valuable Data Behind

Harbingers of spring, out in full force.

One of the things I wrestle with in this amazing world we live in, is what we give up in order to move forward technologically and socially. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad we don't live in caves. I'm happy we don't communicate with smoke signals. And I'm thrilled I don't have to hunt what I eat. But none of these conveniences come without a cost. 

Like the universe, I think we're meant to expand and evolve in all directions. So it's not like this is the age of evolving technologically. It's (always) the age of evolution in every which way. I'm going to be 51 this year. When I think of how much everything around me has changed in my lifetime, from microwaves to computers to media, it numbs the mind. I can't even imagine how much more profound it would be for someone in their 90s. 

But just as our technologically advanced age has gifted us with information and data unlike ever before, it comes at a cost. Instant answers mean we reason less and rely more on the data we find. There are whole parts of our brains that see less action because answers are so easy to find. And, as I said, we're happy to believe in whatever we find. The stories that float around social media are proof of that. People get all up in arms about these "true stories" of things that never happened. It's like even the intuitive "hit" of "wait a minute, something doesn't ring true" is dulled. 

Often when I sit out in my back yard, I wonder what cave men would have made of the day I'm observing. Like yesterday, the skies were overrun with birds. First, he would have known they were robins. And second, he would have used that as a clue that spring and warmer weather was on the way. What we consider "quaint folklore" or "old wives tales" today were and are still valid data important to survival. 

He would have known by the shape of clouds and how the wind hit his face what kind of weather we were bound to have tomorrow. He would have known the time by how shadows move across the ground and the date by studying the stars and the angles of the sun. With this data, he would have known if it was time to start gathering wood or whether or not it was a good time to fish. His intuition would be finely tuned to subtle signs around him, alerting him to danger or opportunity. And all of this would come from within. And all of this is what atrophies when we use Google instead of common sense or intuition. 

Again, not saying Google (and I'm just using Google as an example) or any technology is bad. It's amazing what we can do and I'm grateful for it. But we pay the price for that by becoming further dependent on things outside of us and less dependent on things within us. And I think that, at the very least, is sad. At the most, it is extremely dangerous. 

It took early man generations of data and practice to fine tune their inner knowing. If anything were to happen to us, energy wise...anything from being hit by a meteor, widespread world war, an enormous natural disaster...anything that could wipe out energy resources or our access to data, we're screwed. Books and maps and other resources are becoming more and more scarce, while the information in them becomes more and more available online. But if you can't get online, or if some dictator rules what you can and cannot see, you're probably about as prepared as me to wing it in the wild. Even survivalists are not as prepared as they think (though they're way more prepared than I.)

We assume that the things available to us will always be available to us. And maybe they will be. But one thing is for certain, things will not be the same as they are. Chances are, we'll move even further away from our instinctual heritage and rely more on machines. And as we do, I believe we'll be moving ever perilously closer to our own undoing. 

Not to be overly dramatic, but the further we move from self reliance, whether that be emotionally, physically, intellectually or otherwise, the more vulnerable we become. It could be argued that we become become better able to defend ourselves, the more advanced we become. That is also true. But to focus on one way of being and abandoning another, which is what we're unconsciously doing, can't be smart. No matter how much we evolve in one direction, leaving another direction to atrophy is just asking for the pendulum to cause us to swing the other way in order to maintain balance. 

2/14/14—Allowing

I've always been a fiercely independent type. I don't ask for help. I don't expect help. And if I can do it on my own, I'll usually at least try before I call a professional. 

But I've been getting soft in my old age. I'm accepting help when offered. I usually feel guilty about it, like I *should* be able to do it. Or paranoid that they're offering because I'm not holding up my end of some bargain. But even those thoughts are falling away.  

It snowed last night and today some anonymous person finished the shoveling job I abandoned because my arm and back were hurting and I felt I had done enough to get by. I asked the usual suspect, Ted, who sometimes cleans out my front gutters and even mows when I'm not looking. But he said it wasn't him. Then I saw some guy shoveling out a driveway that didn't belong to him up the road, but he said it wasn't him. So for now, my angel is anonymous. And it may stay that way. 

When I do "good deeds" I like to remain anonymous myself. I'm not doing it for the thanks. I'm doing it for the service and, selfishly, as I said the other day, for the good karma and flow of good deeds. Today was special for me, because I didn't feel guilty or paranoid and, in fact, was really grateful and glad that someone helped me out. I feel like I "deserved" it. That's a crappy way of putting it, but I felt like it was my turn, so I took it without feeling indebted. And guess what? It felt really good. And I bet that will open the flow for even more good deeds coming and going in the future. 

It's hard for me to be vulnerable, which is why it's hard for me to ask for help. You're probably thinking that I make myself vulnerable by all the stuff I talk about on my blog. And in a way, I do. I tell stuff on purpose to stretch those boundaries because I know I build my walls too high. As it is, I still keep a lot to myself, though.

But what I'm finding is that the more I open up and the more I accept help, the easier things are and the better I feel about myself. All those years of enforcing my walls and boundaries were harder physically, emotionally and socially...every which way. After all, wherever there's a wall, a flow is being restricted. Let the flow burst the dam and things start moving again. 

I've always seen allowing and accepting and being vulnerable as weaker choices. But how can they be weaker when it take so much energy to fight against them? How are you with making yourself vulnerable or accepting help? And if you're the opposite way, how are you with enforcing boundaries and offering help? 

I've found that there's a receiving in giving...you receive the gratitude and karma of helping another. And there's a giving in receiving...you allow another person to be there for you. There's an art in either way, but I'm learning that we need to learn how to do each way graciously and without judgment to fully understand what the exchange is all about. I'm already seeing I'm a better giver for being a better receiver. And now I'm wondering where else that same thing can be applied in my life. The more I see peace and balance enter into my world as I get older, the more I want to continue cultivating it in the future. 

2/12/14—Saying the Magic Word

Expanding on the thoughts I wrote about earlier in the week...about not taking things for granted and examining the things we focus on and those we don't to see where our priorities lie...I had another thought to add to the mix. 

I stopped by my local grocery store and heard the employees whispering about something. Apparently "he" was back and wasn't listening to what they said. Again. When I got to the checkout, I saw who they were talking about. A man was there asking for a receipt so he could return some things. He wasn't raising his voice or anything, but he was persistent. 

My checker told me he comes all the time and asks for a receipt so he can return things. But he doesn't have anything to return. And he didn't buy anything. She said when he doesn't find someone to talk to, he stands by the customer service counter and talks to himself. 

You could see it was really stressful for all the people who worked there and were being checked out. The man wouldn't let up. And he frequently changed languages when he was talking, so it was hard to understand him. They were being a lot more patient with him than I would have been. In fact, I found myself being less than compassionate because he was trying to take advantage of the store, and in a way that was making things difficult for everyone concerned. 

There are a lot of ways to get what you need. You can do it with honey. Or you can wear people down like water on rock. This man chose the latter and he wasn't starving, so clearly it worked for him. But it was hard work on his part, imo. In fact, I think even when done with honey, begging and being homeless is hard work. It might not be physically or intellectually demanding (though I suppose it could be) but the toll it takes on a person's emotions and spirit is a bigger price than I'd be willing to pay. 

I used to tutor recovering drug addicts (who lived homeless most of the time) in literacy and for their GED, so I have a little insight into how soul sucking that existence can be. When they were born they didn't say "I want to be a homeless crack addict when I grow up." It's a cumulative thing that happens as you make bad choices and then face worse and worse options in your life because of it. They're not proud of what it does to their families and what they've done to themselves. Most of them are so far gone they can't see a way out. These ladies I tutored were grateful for being legally compelled to get themselves clean. And even with that, at least one of them went back to the life. 

As a result, I find myself reaching inside my purse and helping random homeless people out from time to time. The way I see it, I'm tithing to the universe. "Tithing to the universe" is a practice I use to keep the flow of money going between me and the universe and also to help my karma. I give freely, without worry or judgment of what it's going to be used for. If I have money to give, I feel rich. If I can be generous, I feel even richer. And the richer I feel, the richer I am, because our thoughts create our reality. I don't always give to people in need, either. Sometimes I like to pay for the order behind me in the drive-thru or whatever. 

Anyway, I digress. Because even though that man was quite annoying to the people who work at the grocery store and even though he probably made a lot of customers uncomfortable, he gave me a gift—the gift of reminding me how grateful I am to be who I am, where I am today. I'm not mentally ill (at least not in a debilitating way...haha). I have a home and can afford heat. Everything is fully functional. I'm not hurting for anything. 

There are people out there with challenges we don't even understand. Something as simple as being sane and employed is a huge thing to give gratitude for. We focused some on where we live and the opportunities we do and don't avail ourselves of the other day, but how about going even more basic than that? When was the last time you consciously gave gratitude for a functional body, as achy as it might be? For a functional mind, as forgetful as it may be becoming? A warm home, though it might need a coat of paint? Or for your work, as crappy as it may sometimes be?

There's a term called "first-world problems" that refers to all the crap people of privilege complain about. Somewhere right in your neighborhood there's someone who would love to have your problems. Maybe their house is being foreclosed upon and their future is in question. Maybe someone inside is nursing a loved one as they lay dying. We often take for granted all the privileges we have, even when they're as basic as "breathing without help". 

Part of tithing to the universe or paying it forward or whatever you want to call the practice is giving gratitude for even the most basic of graces. Paying gratitude in advance is an even more powerful way of calling the universe to your side. I'll bet you could probably write 100 things you're grateful for in less than an hour. That right there is something to be grateful for! If you want to see your life magically brighten and bloom, just say the magic word more often—thanks. 

2/11/14—Branching Out

New Spirituality Internet Radio with 3 Muses and a Universe on BlogTalkRadio

Just a head's up that I've started doing an internet radio show with a couple of my friends. These are some very smart ladies who I've learned a lot from over the years. We'll be doing this at least monthly and I'll alert you to when new shows post or air. Listen to our first broadcast now!

Also, now that I'm blogging a few days a week, rather than every day, I may be posting guest blogs here to give you some different perspectives to consider on my days off. :)

2/10/14—Seeking Pure Air

I came across this video the other day and have been thinking about it ever since. The video contrasts the town with the cleanest air and water in the world (Cape Grim, Tasmania) and the town with the dirtiest air and water (Linfin, China). 

It's interesting from an ecological standpoint, yes. But that's not what caught my attention. What caught my attention is that the people who have the dirtiest air and water seem to spend more time outside being social and they don't seem to be overly concerned about what's going in their bodies. And a visit to the town with the cleanest air showed a nice, trim town with nobody milling about outside enjoying their clean air and water. 

Now, I'm sure the people in Tasmania spend time outside. How could they not? And I happen to know they leverage their clean air and water status because that's how I came across the video in the first place. But it all got me thinking...do we appreciate what we have and where we live?

Because it sounds really impressive and dramatic when I say it this way, I'll say that I live in a world capital. In fact, Washington, DC is considered one of the most powerful cities in the world. We have some of the world's best museums. Iconic landmarks. And while we're not the biggest city in the US (we're actually #24) or the first US city international travelers want to visit (we don't even make the Top 10) on many levels, it's probably the most important city in our country to see if you're into history and world treasures (and almost everything from the National Zoo to all the Smithsonian museums is free to see.) (ETA: While not a top tourist city, the National Mall in DC is the #3 tourist attraction in the US.)

So how much of it have I seen? Most of it. Mostly when I was a child. In the past 20 years, a bunch of new museums have been built...the Holocaust Museum, the Newseum, the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum Steven F. Udvar Hazy Center* and the National Museum of the American Indian, for example. I've seen just one of them. The American Indian one...a few times. While the rest sound interesting to me, I haven't gotten around to it.

Each year when the cherry blossoms bloom, I might do a drive by, but I don't stop. Similarly, I drive past iconic monuments and memorials all the time. Most of the time, I take the time to notice, but sometimes it doesn't even register. That doesn't mean I don't appreciate where I live. I do. Catching a glimpse of the Washington Monument from across the river can still take my breath away after nearly 40 years of living here. But I'm ashamed sometimes at how little I take advantage of the bounty in my midst.

So I've been thinking about what I do appreciate in my life and what I maybe don't appreciate enough. I consciously appreciate my little home and my doggies. And nap time. And my independence. Then there's my body, which I should consciously appreciate, but don't. 

When you really focus on all the different elements of your life and note what you consciously give gratitude, attention and appreciation to, it can point out where some of your priorities are off...where and how you're spending your time in alignment to what you want from life. 

Truth is, I could ask myself why I live in a city with so many cultural opportunities when I spend most of my effort seeking quiet spots with fabulous views. While this place feels like home to me, perhaps I should question what else makes it uniquely fulfilling to me. The same could be said for friendships, jobs, hobbies...any part of our lives. Maybe we're living with something that was once appropriate, but no longer is. Or maybe we're just not thinking.

So what's in plentiful supply all around you that you may not be availing yourself of? What might you be taking for granted? What "pure air" are you not breathing deeply in your life?

*Longest name ever for what's known as the Air and Space Annex, where the space shuttle Discovery calls home.